Better Than Before (RightMatch.com Trilogy) (6 page)

“I’m sorry this happened to your fairytale marriage.”

“Well, I’ve learned from that experience to trust my instincts. I’ve got to be able to be myself with a guy and not worry I don’t measure up. I can’t make myself into someone else for him.” She touched her hair. “Remember you said any man would love my hair? Well, Keith didn’t. He wanted me to cut and style it more modernly.”

“What a travesty that would be.”

Travesty
. The guy certainly had an extensive vocabulary.

“After we had kids, the way we lived was even more of a problem. We were out too much, and the dinners and parties were boring to me. When I wouldn’t go on so many vacations with him, he really started to change.”

“Still, I wouldn’t say cheating on you was the answer.”

“But it explains his behavior the other night.”

“I’m not sure anything can explain his being so crass.”

“You probably could tell from my profile that I want a simple life with a man who wants the same thing. And I need to be able to be myself with him, and vice versa. I’ll never go back to what I had with Keith.”

“You said that online, but after this conversation, I understand why that’s so important to you.”

Spence’s tone alerted her. It was genuine, but there was sadness…ruefulness in it.

“Is something wrong, Spence?”

“No.” He stood abruptly, still holding her hand. “Let’s keep walking.”

He seemed to shake the mood, and when it was time to go home, he was telling her stories about the trouble he and his younger brother got into.

They walked to the parking lot where she left her gray Civic. Annie unlocked the door, then turned to him. He was standing close, peering down at her. The gold in his hair was highlighted by the March sun. “Thanks, Spence. I had a great time.”

When he didn’t say anything at first, she cocked her head. He ran a hand down her hair. “I did, too.”

Without censoring her actions as she’d always had to do with Keith, she cupped his jaw, stood on her toes and brushed her mouth over his for a butterfly-light kiss. The contact was innocent, but she knew in her heart it wasn’t the sun that made her warm.

When she stepped back, she gave him a self-effacing grin. “Probably too early for that, but I couldn’t resist.”

Opening her door, she started to get in the car when he touched her shoulder, tugged her around.

“No, not too early.” He drew her to him and lowered his mouth. “Not too early at all.”

He put more oomph into his kiss than she had but not enough to scare her. She returned it, deepened the pressure, hoping she wasn’t succumbing too fast. But it was thrilling to let go, to act the way she wanted. And she’d missed this kind of closeness more than she realized. After a while, she drew back. “That was nice,” she said sweetly.

She got in the car and drove away, leaving him standing there, hands stuffed into jeans, staring after her.

Despite her worries about starting a relationship, Annie hummed all the way home. She was going to enjoy this time with Spence, throw caution to the wind and be happy.

o0o

Spence kicked the wastebasket across the den and the contents splattered on the hardwood floor. He started toward the computer but stopped abruptly, once again ordering himself to stay away from his email, to stop thinking about Annie. But when he walked out to the great room and passed the mirror in his foyer—he was pacing the house for God’s sake—he faced himself, and the truth, squarely in the glass.

And admitted he had a problem on his hands.

On Sunday afternoon, Spence had behaved in a totally different way from his normal, detached self—low key, satisfied with personal chitchat, enamored of Annie’s kid and dog stories. Though he’d learned a long time ago how to fake interest, pretend to be solicitous, he hadn’t been playing a part with her. She brought something out in him that he hadn’t known was there—he was genuinely interested in her and concerned about her welfare. If he was truthful with himself, the change had been happening all along as they shared emails. But seeing her had made his attitude crystal clear.

When he’d walked her to her car, he’d told himself he wouldn’t see her again, that who he was with her wasn’t the real him, that he didn’t even
want
to be that guy. He was going to stick to the plan: say that he liked her a lot, but it was taking him longer than he thought to get over his dead wife and he wasn’t ready for a relationship yet.

Then she’d blown the plan to hell when she’d kissed him. He’d been caught off guard and fell into the embrace with an excitement and enthusiasm he hadn’t experienced when he kissed a woman since…he couldn’t remember when. Fuck it, he didn’t
want
this.

The doorbell rang. Still in the foyer, he yanked open the door and found Cole on the other side. Just what he needed.

“What are you doing here?” Spence asked gruffly.

“Hello to you, too.” Cole sauntered in. “Of course, I’d be grumpy if I lost the bet like you did, big brother.”

The door closed harder than Spence meant it to. “Damn Joey.”

Cole leaned against the wall. His jeans had holes in them and his shirt was stained with God knows what. “Joey didn’t tell me. He came over with the girls for lunch Sunday and was driving your Mercedes. I figured there was only one reason you’d need his SUV. So you met her? Because that’s why I stopped on my way back from the store for diapers—to bust your chops.”

“Yeah. I met her.” Spence strode into the living room. “I owe you. So what?”

Cole followed him and took a seat on the taupe leather couch. Annie would be horrified at how much Spence had spent on it. He tried to avoid Cole’s gaze. After a moment, his brother asked, “What’s going on, Spence?”

Because Cole’s tone wasn’t challenging, Spence didn’t snap. Besides, it had always been hard to get mad at this man. Disgusted with himself, Spence dropped down to the edge of a chair and linked his hands between his knees. “I don’t know, Cole. Something is.”

“What do you mean?”

“Number Six has gotten to me, I think.”

“You’re kidding. No woman’s ever gotten to you. It’s why all your relationships failed.”

“Let’s not get into that now.”

“Tell me why you met with her.”

“She asked.” He shrugged. “And…Oh, hell, I wanted to.”

Cole waited before he answered, thinking through his reaction like he always did. “Forget about the bet. Is this a bad thing?”

Spence felt his pulse speed up. “Of course it is. I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind. I was going to tell her Sunday what I’d told the others—the widowed Spence Brewer wasn’t ready to get serious and I didn’t want to hurt her, so we should stop our contact before our relationship went further.” He glanced up at the ceiling fans pushing the air around. “But then she kissed me and I…didn’t.”

“Again, there’s nothing wrong with that, Spence.”

“Of course there is. I wasn’t in control of myself and I don’t live my life that way. So I decided to break it off online, but instead, we’ve had an exchange of emails that have been…flirty.”

“And fun.”

“What?”

“You’re having fun with her, aren’t you?”

He nodded.

“So go for it. As the real you, this time.”

“That’ll never work. She thinks I’m a different kind of man.”

“Maybe.” Again, his brother watched him. “But you could look at this in another way. Maybe the person you are with her is the real you, too. Maybe she’s brought out a side of you that you didn’t know existed.”

“I doubt that.”

“People change. Various aspects of our personality emerge as we get older. Hell, I didn’t even know how to change a diaper before I got Ellie. Fatherhood brought out a part of me I didn’t know was inside me.”

Spence voiced more objections, Cole countered them, then finally stood. “I gotta get back. My next door neighbor’s with Ellie.” He crossed to Spence and socked him on the arm. “I’ll let you know when I need you to babysit. Maybe you can bring Annie.”

Spence swore at him.

“It’s not the end of the world. Grovel a bit, let her know you’re sincere now, and things will work out.”

The kid was such a romantic, a male version of Pollyanna where love was concerned. He and Spence were so different they could have been from separate planets.

After his brother had left, Spence poured himself a double shot of bourbon and stood by the window sipping the amber liquid, watching the sun set on the golf course, and considered following Cole’s advice. Fine, he’d admit to himself that something was missing in his life. But how important was it? And how the hell did he know if Annie could fill the gap?

You won’t, unless you see her again.

Well, he could try to do that. If she’d let him. Which she might not do if she knew the truth. On Sunday, she’d made it doubly clear she hated the kind of life he led.

Don’t tell her yet.

Mmm. That was an option. As he continued to stare out the window, it became more and more appealing. Why did he have to tell her he wasn’t the man he’d pretended to be? Chances were, given his track record with women, their relationship wouldn’t work out anyway. So what would be the use of hurting her now? He could see where things went, see how they got along, then readjust his plan if necessary.

Back at the computer, Spence sat down and opened his email. Typed in Annie’s address. And wrote simply,
How about a real date?

And as soon as he sent it, he realized Cole was wrong. Spence hadn’t changed at all.

o0o

All night long, Annie struggled to refrain from asking Lauren if she could check her email on the computer at Simple Delights, the spa her friend owned. The establishment offered massages, facials, manicures and pedicures plus a variety of other services to pamper women. Since her divorce, Annie had been the receptionist when she was needed and Keith had the kids or Norma could babysit. She made terrific money because she shared in the staff’s tips by cleaning rooms, setting up for different services, welcoming guests and providing tea, juice or water. It was mindless work, but she didn’t care. The whole atmosphere of the place, with its sweet-scented air, its plush carpet, its waterfall in the corner and soft piped-in music was soothing.

“Hey, Annie. Daydreaming?” Lauren had come to the reception area from her office out back.

“What? Oh, I am, I guess.”

“Mr. Cutie?”

As soon as she arrived, Annie had begun to tell Lauren about the date with Spence. But her friend had been distracted, glancing at the phone until it rang right in the middle of Annie’s story. She’d been talking to someone for a solid hour.

“Sorry we got interrupted.” She angled her head to the back office. “I had to take that call.”

“Anything wrong?”

“Not wrong, exactly.”

“You’ve been quiet lately, Lauren. What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing I want to talk about. Now finish telling me about the date.”

After Annie had recounted her time with Spence, Lauren asked if she was going to go out with him again.

 “His turn to ask. I made the invitation the first time, so he’s got to do the next one.”

Lauren sat at the desk, fit and pretty in a beautiful peach silk shirt and matching pants that went well with her green eyes and the short sweep of her auburn hair. Though on closer examination, there were lines around her mouth. “Any more trouble from Keith?”

“He started a rant about my working
here
when he picked the kids up at four for his mother’s birthday party. The guy never gives up. And I’ll have to see him when I get home because Alex and Hope aren’t staying overnight. Keith has an early meeting and can’t take them to school.”

Lauren’s brow knit. “I heard things weren’t going well with Belinda.”

“Really? They’ve been together for years. I should know,” she added dryly.

Annie would never forget the way she discovered her husband was cheating on her. He’d come out of the shower and she’d noticed a bruise below his jaw. Approaching him innocently, she’d swiped a finger over it. “Honey, what happened to your neck?”

His guilty flush and the tension creeping into his shoulders had told her something was wrong. As if he’d been waiting for the right moment, he’d admitted the bruise was a hickey and Annie knew she hadn’t given it to him. He’d packed his bags right then and left them on a bleak November night. Shocked and devastated, Annie had called Lauren and Julia; they’d rushed right over to help her start piecing her life back together.

A customer came into the shop, giving Annie respite from the awful memory. Thankfully, she was busy the rest of the night and made enough tips to buy that blouse—if she ever saw Spence again!

 What was he waiting for? In their several conversations online, he hadn’t asked her out. She hoped she hadn’t misjudged him. Maybe her reading of men was still off.

The kids were asleep when she arrived home and Keith was sprawled out on the couch. For a moment, Annie was struck—and hurt—by the familiarity of him watching TV late at night, as if he still lived here. Once again, she was consumed by insecurity and self-doubt—could she have kept her family together if she’d compromised more?

“You’re late,” he said, rising and picking up his sports coat.

“I told you ten.”

“This is ridiculous. You don’t need to work so hard.”

“To support myself I do.”

“I can do that. But you’re so stubborn. You always were.”

Annie wasn’t up for a fight, not tonight. “It’s obvious that you want to give me alimony to assuage your guilt and not look bad in front of your friends. I refuse to play into that.”

Keith’s demeanor softened. “And because I hate seeing you tired all the time.”

She was stunned by the gentle tone of his comment. Stunned but not taken in. “Please go. You’re right, I’m exhausted and I don’t have the energy to tangle with you.”

He didn’t argue. Instead, he squeezed her arm and left.

And Annie hurried to the computer. There was an email from Spence; thank you dear Lord.

Yes! She raised her fist into the air. And typed back,
I’d love a real date.