Authors: Wanda Wiltshire
Jack was coming by to pick me up this morning. I was sitting on the balcony waiting—infinitely more exhausted than when I went to bed—when he pulled up out front. I called out goodbye to Mum, grabbed my bag and went to meet him.
‘What’s up?’ Jack asked as I climbed into the car beside him.
‘Nothing.’
‘Something’s up.’ He pushed a finger between my eyebrows.
‘Ow, Jack, don’t!’
‘Then stop frowning and tell me what’s up.’
‘I had another dream last night.’
‘And,’ he prompted, rolling his hand in front of him.
‘You’re going to think I’m crazy.’
‘I already know you’re crazy, so purge.’ He started the car and pulled away from the kerb.
‘Jack, I think I’m going mad. And don’t laugh, because I’m serious.’ I looked over to him. If he had so much as a crinkle at the edge of his mouth I wouldn’t say another word. He didn’t. ‘These dreams I’m having are so realistic. Even when I’m in the middle of one I know it can only be a dream—that’s strange in itself, don’t you think?’ Jack nodded slowly. ‘But it’s more than that. When I’m with Leif it’s as real as sitting here with you. I can touch him, talk to him, even smell him, and when I wake up, it doesn’t fade. It’s like I’ve been shifted from one world to another. Have you ever experienced anything like that?’
‘Can’t say I have.’ He glanced over to me. ‘Smell him, you say?’
I rolled my eyes and frowned.
‘No, really, I’m curious. What does he smell like?’
And because he didn’t laugh, I told him. ‘He smells gorgeous. Like summer and nature—the forest or something. And like some kind of delicious spice that just gets up your nose and makes you crave more. It’s heavenly. He’s heavenly. He told me he’s a prince and that I’m betrothed to him, says we are connected by our very souls.’
‘Wow.’
‘I know, and there’s something else,’ I said, then paused.
‘Go on.’
‘It’s really weird.’
He glanced at me. ‘So?’
‘When I kiss his hand, it’s like something is coming into me . . . his essence or something. It feels
amazing
.’ I closed my eyes for a moment, opened them again and looked to heaven with a long sigh. ‘Like my whole body—no, not just my body, my whole being—is overcome with this lovely, tingling happiness, like being caressed on the inside.’ I was smiling as I attempted to describe the sensation. ‘I can’t imagine a more exquisite feeling.’
‘You have one hyperactive imagination, Marla,’ Jack said, eyebrows lifted. The comment brought me crashing back to reality.
‘You wanted to know, Jack.’
‘Hey, it’s not a criticism. You know me, I love that stuff.’
Jack parked the car and we walked to our tree to wait for the bell to ring. Courtney soon claimed Jack’s attention and after a quick chat to Abby and Peter I went to see Hilary. She was tucked up against the trunk of our tree, her face buried in a novel. She closed the book around a finger and smiled as I sat beside her.
‘I’ve been thinking about you,’ she said.
‘Why?’
‘It was something I remembered. You know how you told me Leif said you were a fairy.’
‘Sounds silly when you say it out loud.’
‘Why? It’s just a dream. But listen, it’s cute.’ She smiled. ‘When I was little I had this book and in it, fairies could kiss their elbows. Try it.’
‘You first,’ I insisted. She tried and couldn’t do it. I brought my elbow to my mouth, tried to kiss it, couldn’t reach. ‘No, definitely
not a fairy.’ I laughed, but secretly I was disappointed. I looked up and spotted Jason coming towards us.
‘Hey,’ he said to Hilary before turning his attention to me. ‘You look good, Amy.’ It was true; after a week and a half, my face was completely healed.
‘Passable?’ I asked.
‘So hot,’ he answered.
Jack, watching the conversation, narrowed his eyes and scowled.
‘So I was wondering . . . do you want to come and see a movie with me on Saturday night?’
I thought about Leif and almost told Jason no, but stopped the word from leaving my lips as I realised how stupid it would be to knock back a date just because of a figment of my imagination.
‘What time?’
A triumphant smile spread across Jason’s tanned face. ‘I didn’t think you’d say yes,’ he admitted. ‘I’ll pick you up at six, if that’s okay.’
‘Sounds fine,’ I said, standing at the sound of the morning bell.
‘Come on, I’ll walk you to class,’ Jason said.
I said goodbye to my friends before I turned to walk away. Jack made a point to catch my eyes as, lips pursed and frowning hard, he shook his head in disapproval. Even though it wasn’t funny, I couldn’t stop the giggle that burst from my lips; the expression on his face reminded me of my grandmother. He snorted, grabbed Hilary by the arm and stormed away.
Jack was already at our tree when I arrived at recess, and, I was happy to see, in a better mood than when we last parted. He was leaning back on his elbows, loving the great weather and surrounded by our friends. Hilary sat on one side of him and Peter and Abby on the other—wrapped around each other as usual. Courtney sat by Jack’s head. She was playing with his hair, her willowy legs tucked beneath her. I gave her a look that said way more than I had a right to say. She just smiled and carried on, sliding the summer-blond strands through her fingers. When there was a break in the conversation I turned to Jack and got straight to the point.
‘Jack, why don’t you want me to go out with Jason?’
He looked at me and the smile vanished from his face. Courtney sat back and left his hair alone, smoothing her own silky black strands with her fingers.
‘I don’t like him,’ he stated.
‘Well, I know
that
, but is there any reason for it?’
Jack sat up and tugged his bag close. ‘Of course there’s a reason. He’s a jerk and he thinks he’s too good for everyone.’
‘The dude does think he’s fairly awesome,’ Peter agreed.
‘Oh, he’s not that bad,’ Hilary argued, gallantly defending the absent.
‘Tell me what’s really up,’ I pressed. I shouldn’t have—the audience was too wide and Jack’s vibe completely uncompromising.
He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again and frowned instead.
‘He seems to like me.’
‘Which bit?’
‘Ouch,’ Peter said with a smirk. Abby slapped him and told him to shut up.
‘Oh, that’s real nice!’ I said, scowling at Jack before shifting the look to Courtney, sniggering quietly beside him.
‘Well, what do you think he wants? You’re not stupid,’ Jack said. But the way he looked at me made it clear he thought I might be.
‘I’m not stupid! Is that supposed to be a compliment?’
‘Take it as you want, but Jason just likes what he sees.’
‘You’re supposed to be my friend,’ I cried.
‘I wouldn’t be your friend if I didn’t point out the obvious. Look, you’re cute, he notices, but how keen was he when your face was messed up?’ He hesitated. I fumed. ‘Don’t be naïve. I’m a guy, I know how they think and I know what he’s after.’
‘Is that all you think I’m worth? Geez, you sure know how to make me feel good about myself.’
He threw his hands up and looked to the sky. ‘Now you
are
being stupid! I’m telling you what he’s after, not what you’re worth. You’re way too good for him!’
Hilary, who, together with the others, had been watching the conversation become more and more heated, chewed her bottom lip as her gaze flicked between me and Jack. She intervened in an attempt to calm the storm. ‘Jack, Jason’s not that bad and it’s not like Amy hasn’t been out with him before.’ Jason had taken me to music night a few weeks earlier. Not exactly a date, but close enough.
‘Oh, you’re just as stupid as she is!’ Jack said, his eyes wide. ‘He’s got you both just as sucked in as the rest of that idiot group he hangs around with. What is it about the guy? The blond hair, the tan, the big fake smile?’ Jack stood and raked a hand savagely through his hair as he glared at each of us. Then he snatched his backpack from
the ground and hurled it over his shoulder. It landed like a sack of bricks on his back. ‘I’ve gotta go.’ He strode off without a backward glance. Courtney jumped up and scampered after him. I knew I wouldn’t see him again that day. I felt sick about it.
After Peter and Abby had slipped away, Hilary and I stood and watched each other for a few moments.
‘Do you think it’s true?’ I asked finally.
‘What?’
‘Do you think Jason’s only after one thing?’
‘I don’t think so.’ But she didn’t look sure. ‘Maybe Jack’s jealous. He’s always flirting with you.’
‘Jack flirts with everyone.’
‘True, but not as much as he does with you.’
‘I don’t think it
is
jealousy. I think he’s genuinely worried.’ I trusted Jack completely, so the realisation made me uneasy.
‘Why should he be?’
‘I don’t know . . . Hil, what are you doing on Saturday night?’
‘I haven’t any plans, you’d know if I did.’
‘Want to double date?’
‘I need a guy for that.’
‘What if I tell Jason I was supposed to be hanging out with you? I could suggest he bring a friend.’ That would have to appease Jack—at least a little.
‘You’ll make me sound desperate,’ Hilary said, but she was smiling so I could see she liked the idea.
‘I’ll be careful,’ I assured her.
She was suddenly very interested in the patterns the bark made in the trunk of our tree. She traced a slow finger down the rough brown lines. ‘Tell him to ask Kyle,’ she said eventually. Her cheeks were a lovely warm rose in her Irish cream skin.
‘Ah, like that, is it? Sneaky thing, you’ve never mentioned Kyle before.’
She looked up and grinned back at me. ‘Well . . . ’
‘Come on,’ I said, laughing at her. ‘We’ll be late for class.’
After school I spent a couple of hours at the computer making a start on my history assignment before calling Jason.
‘Yo, Amy,’ he said when he answered the phone.
‘Hey, I’m calling about Saturday night.’ The monitor’s screensaver flicked on. My eyes chose a bubble to track.
‘No problem I hope?’
‘I don’t think so, but I forgot I told Hil I’d hang out with her on Saturday, so I was wondering . . . if you still want to go, could you invite a friend for her?’ I lost the bubble amid all the others and turned away from the computer before I was compelled to choose another.
‘Sure, what about Stewie? He’s single at the moment.’
‘Hmm, I was thinking maybe Kyle.’
‘He’s a bit quiet.’
I almost told him that Hilary liked Kyle but thought better of it. She’d be upset if that got around. ‘So’s Hilary,’ I said instead.
‘Kyle it is,’ he agreed.
‘Do you think he’ll go?’
‘He’ll go if I tell him to.’ He laughed. Ah, the power of popularity.
I hung up after a quick chat and grabbed myself a pear before getting stuck into my assignment. Another hour later the phone rang. I supposed it would be Jason getting back to me.
‘Hey, Marla, it’s me.’
‘Jack!’ Just the sound of his voice released the tightness from around my heart and brought a smile to my face.
He said hello and apologised for his behaviour that day.
‘It’s not your fault,’ I told him, ‘I shouldn’t have been so pushy.’
‘I just know you can do better.’
‘But, Jack, no one better has asked me.’ Oh my God! Did that sound like a hint? Was it a hint? I didn’t even know. My feelings were just a big tangly mess these days. I chose a bubble, lost it immediately. The silence on the other end of the phone lingered.
Crap. Crap. Crap
.
‘Look, if you like him, well . . . all right, I suppose,’ he said finally. ‘But I
really
don’t see the attraction.’
I exhaled. ‘He’s kind of cute.’
‘Whatever you reckon,’ he said, sounding sceptical. ‘I don’t like you being with him, I won’t pretend I do. I don’t trust him and . . . you’re gonna think this is weird, but I feel . . . protective of you.’
‘I don’t think it’s weird at all, I think it’s nice.’ I loved that Jack was so protective of me—needed it.
There was silence for another long moment; not uncomfortable, just thoughtful. And when he broke it with a question, it was difficult to know how to respond.
‘Do you ever think maybe . . . you and me, Marla?’ There it was—honest and straight. No lighthearted banter or tangle of clever words to steal meaning from it.
More silence, not quite so comfortable.
I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to admit that the thought had sometimes kept me awake at night. It would have been a relief to confide that I remembered our kiss with such tenderness that I dearly wanted to try it again. I stopped myself though. Once the words were out, I wouldn’t be able to put them back. And an admission like that would have consequences. Instead I asked a question of my own.
‘You’re offering, Jack?’ I made myself laugh to detract from the magnitude of it. But it sounded weak and forced and nervous.
‘Wondering, Marla, definitely wondering,’ he answered, without missing a beat. That was the thing about Jack—unlike me, he was sure of himself. And he had a lot more experience too. Girls loved Jack, he could pick and choose. What if we did get together and he decided I wasn’t
that
girl after all?