Betrayed (The Worshipped Series Book 2) (9 page)

I wrap the towel around me as I start going through the Walmart bags. I am surprised at how much he bought. There are five shirts and three pairs of pants, as well as a few pairs of shorts. I find a toothbrush, a hairbrush, lotion, razors, and shaving cream. In the other bag I find my favorite shampoo and conditioner. Who knew Walmart carried that brand. He must have put a lot of thought into getting all this for me. I think he must have paid more attention to my life than I do at times. I can’t soften towards him. I have to bury my feelings and pretend to be what he wants. I can’t be who he wants me to be, and pretending it isn’t real will be easier. 

I pull out a white shirt and a pair of jeans. I see a white lace panties and a matching bra fall out and I quickly grab them up, secretly thanking that Josh hadn’t forgotten them. I walk out of the bathroom and brush my hair, trying to tame it. It is all over the place. Surprisingly, the motel has one of those built in hairdryers on the wall. I just hope it doesn’t blow up on me while using it. I turn on the hairdryer and get to work with my hair. 

It takes a little longer than it normally would to dry my hair since I am pretty sure the motel manager hasn’t updated any of the accessories in a while. I’ve tolerated the heat from the hairdryer for as long as I can stand, the room seems to be heating quickly as the sun rises. I really hope we don’t have to stay here another night. I don’t think I can handle another moldy shower. After I brush my teeth, I turn to see where Josh is. I haven’t heard him since I got out of the shower and I think maybe he left. I don’t think it will be wise to try and run again so soon. 

He is sitting on the bed facing me. I don’t know if he was watching me the whole time I got ready or not. I can’t get a read on his emotions. He is hiding them from me again. I’m not sure what I should do or say to him. I want to scream at him and demand that he take me home, but I know that wouldn’t get me anywhere. I have to be smart about this. I am a smart girl, and I will figure a way out of this mess. 

I throw back my shoulders hoping he sees that I’m not ready just yet to pretend to bend to his will. I walk over and sit on the other bed right in front of him. Maybe in some fucked up way I am challenging him, but I don’t care at this point. I also think he expects me to act this way and I need him to be on board and not thinking. He will figure out my plan if I start acting differently so suddenly. We stare at each other for the longest time, neither one of us wanting to look away. I know he will eventually win, but I want to let him know I am still fucking mad at him. After a few minutes of our staring contest, I break eye contact and look away. I can’t handle his intense gaze anymore. I look down at my hands in my lap, and pick at my nails. 

“We have to leave in an hour.” Josh says. I look at him shocked we are moving again. I am glad to leave this room, but why are we already leaving? 

“Where are we going this time?” 

“Pack your things and we will go soon.” He says completely ignoring my question. 

“Josh I need to know what’s going on here.” He stands and for some reason he is angry at me. Again. What did I do this time? Hell I can’t even begin to think of one reason this time. He is pacing back and forth, and it sounds like he is speaking in Spanish. I didn’t know he knew another language. 

“Josh?”

“Stop fucking calling me that!” It doesn’t surprise me one bit he is already yelling and frustrated at me. I will give it right back to him.  

“What would you like me to call you then? Dick- face? Josh is your name. Normal people liked to be called by their names,” I yell right back. He stops his pacing and turns and gets right in my face. 

“Josh is not my goddamn name.” He tells me through clenched teeth. I jerk back, shocked at what he says. I can’t believe this. 

“What are you talking about?”

“My name is Jason. Not fucking Josh.” I’m sure I look like a deer caught in headlights. 

“You’ve been lying to me this whole time about your name? Why would you lie about something like that? What else have you lied to me about? How do I know everything that comes out of your mouth isn’t another lie? For all I know, Jason isn’t your real name either. Who the fuck are you?” I feel as if someone stabbed me in my chest and I can’t help but to stumble away from him. How can he lie to me about something as simple as a name? I feel stupid and this adds to the betrayal by him. The whole time I’ve been with him, he’s been pretending to be someone else. For what purpose? Our entire relationship, before this, has been one lie after another. How did I not see this? Who is this person staring at me like he just made the biggest mistake telling me the truth?

I can’t even look at him anymore. One thing I hate about a person is when they lie. I am hurt and confused. This is why I don’t date and I broke that rule for Josh or Jason. If you avoid being with anyone, there’s no chance at getting your heart ripped out of your chest, and crushed into a million pieces. The sad part is, I trusted Jo…er..Jason. Up until he kidnapped me at least, but this still stung. He purposely manipulated me. I want nothing more than to kick him in his nuts, and slap him in his stupid face. But I do neither. I sit on the bed, feeling utterly lost and defeated. Maybe I feel all these crazy emotions that I shouldn’t be feeling because I thought I loved him. Yes past tense. I can’t love someone like him. What kind of person would I be if I did? All the feelings I have for him I will bury them. I won’t feel anything. At least emotionally. My body on the other hand, I cannot control. If only my pussy and mind will agree I will be set. 

I turn to face him, wondering what he is thinking when I look at him. Jason is staring at me. Just staring. I can’t tell if he is mad or if he regrets telling me the truth for once. He is hiding his emotions from me and I hate him for that. Why can’t he be a normal person and act like normal people do? I hope he doesn’t see how hurt I am and feel. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing I care for him so deeply. I’m glad I not a crier. I haven’t cried a single tear since my parents and I buried Katie. 

Jason takes a deep breath, as if he is preparing to say something big. But all that comes out is a fucking command. 

“Pack your stuff. We have to leave.”

I can’t tell you or myself why I react the way I do when he says that. Maybe I am insane. Maybe I am pushed to my limit. Maybe I finally snapped. Whatever the reason, I should have known nothing good would have come out of what I do next. 

I jump up, and walk over to him. I am right in his personal space. I have to look up at him since he towers over me still but I don’t care. I never say a word as I stare up at him with all the hatred I can muster. I hate him. My hands are clenched at my sides, and before my mind can process what I am doing, I slap him square on the cheek. I hit him with all the force I have and as soon as I realize what I did, I regret it. I don’t back down from him when he stares me down with his evil look. The promise of death is in his eyes and even though I am scared to death at that moment, I know I have to stand up to him. Blood trickles down his chin from his lip and he uses the back of his hand to wipe off the blood. When he smiles at me it sends chills down my spine. 

Before I know what is happening, he grabs my arms pulling me closer. I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I scream for him to let me go. I kick, and thrash, trying anything I can to make him release me. He backs me against the wall forcefully putting my arms over my head. He laughs in my ear and I turn my head away from him. He is so close to me and my blood is boiling at the rage inside of me. I don’t want him touching me. 

“You want to play huh? Fine. We will play,” he whispers to me as he licks and bites my neck. 

One hand has my arms pinned above my head while his other hand grabs my chin forcing me to look at him. We lock eyes and he takes my breath away. I can tell he is slipping with his mask he so carefully places to hide everything from me. I see fear, regret, and mostly desire in his eyes. I don’t want to see desire. I hate this man, and I don’t want him anywhere close to me. I thrash but struggle to break free as he looks me over from my head to my toes and presses his body to mine, caging me in. 

His lips crash into mine with such force that I think he busts my lip. His kiss is demanding and violent. I refuse him, not wanting him to kiss me. I try to turn my head but his hand has it locked in place. I know what his kisses will do to me. I can’t let him win. I have to stay strong and fight him. 

“Open for me,” he demands against my lips. 

“Go fuck yourself.”

He chuckles at me as he says, “There are other ways to get you to do what I want. I can make you open for me. I will make you beg me to touch you, to kiss you. But I know you will make me work for it won’t you? No matter, just makes the reward so much sweeter when I have you.”

This man has lost his everlasting mind. There is no way in hell I will do any of that. I refuse to be his play thing even though my inner goddess decides to perk her stupid head up from hiding. He might have had my body before, but he’s a stranger to me. She wants him to work for it. She wants everything he is promising. My rational side of me is the one fighting, and I will win. Not my stupid emotions. Not this time. 

Jason moves his knee in between my legs, going straight to my clit. He holds firm on my wrists and starts moving his free hand down my body. He stops when he gets to my stomach and reaches under my shirt and up to pinch my nipples. I can’t stop the whimper that comes out. He leans in close and starts sucking on my earlobes. 

“Why do you fight me? I know you want this. See how much your body craves mine? I can give you so much pleasure if you just give into me,” Jason whispers into my ear. I can’t deny what he’s saying. I am fighting hard not to give into all the pleasure he is giving. And he hasn’t even started. He continues to fondle my breasts. He alternates between both of them, grabbing handfuls and pinching my hard nipples. 

He starts to move his knee harder into my pants, making the seam of my pants go over my clit harder and harder. I don’t want to be turned on. I don’t want this. 

“Stop. Please stop,” I beg. 

“Only if you kiss me,’’ he counters. 

Damn it all to hell. I want this to stop but I also know if I kiss him I will be done for. He is like fire, and once it catches, there is no stopping the flames from consuming me. 

I can see the indecision racing through her. She wants me to stop but I don’t want to. When she slapped me, she let the beast out and now the beast wants to play. It wants to consume her. I know what my kiss will do to her. She will melt into me, and give me anything and everything I want. I don’t want to take it too far, but fuck me; it is hard not to take her against the wall. My dick is straining to get out and be balls deep inside her. I know her body wants it but not her mind. She’s fighting me. I wouldn’t have expected anything else from my little vixen. 

My pinch of her nipple makes her cry out while I suck her neck. I am leaving my mark on her so anyone else will know she is mine. “Let me in,” I ask again. I don’t want her to feel like I am demanding her. I need her to come to the choice all on her own. 

She sighs in defeat and I go for it. My kiss is not a lover’s sweet kiss. I take her mouth fast and hard claiming what is mine. She does open her mouth for me to shove my tongue deep inside. Our tongues dance together while our teeth hit. Her mouth is like fire and I am desperate for more. I want all of her. I can feel her body melting against mine. She stops struggling and I know I have her. She is like putty in my hands. I can do whatever I please and she will do anything I want. 

I end our kiss with a bite on her lip and I suck away the sting. I look into her honey brown eyes and she takes my breath away. She is so goddamn beautiful. She is crazy with lust and breathing heavily. I can feel her push her big tits into my chest trying to get more attention. I want to give it to her. But I can’t. She isn’t ready for me to take her. She isn’t ready for the things I plan to do to her now. I want her to beg me for my cock. And she will. Soon. 

As hard as it is, I pull away from her letting her arms come down from my hold. I slowly move my knee from her clit and I step back from her. It takes every ounce of control I have left to not fuck her till she begs me to stop. My cock is throbbing in my jeans wanting out. I can tell I surprise her by stopping. I want her to trust me when I tell her I will stop after she lets me in. I know I fucked up when I let slip that my name isn’t Josh. I can’t stand for her to call me that anymore. I don’t know what makes me snap at that moment. It always makes me cringe when she calls out that fucking name. I want her to call me by my real name. Not some fucking name Dominic gave me for my cover.