Betrayed by Love (3 page)

Something was very wrong. An ugly inner part of me was warring with the Lin who had hurt with and suffered through so much with Jen through her years of emotional and sexual frustration. How could I feel such a deep, totally encompassing level of sexual attraction for the man who had finally made my best friend so happy?

“I forgot something in my room. I’ll be right back.”

He nodded. “Don’t be long. The omelet’s almost done.”

“Okay.”

Turning and fleeing from the kitchen, I hurried up the steps to the guestroom. Inside with the bedroom door close, I stood shaking. Tears filled my eyes and I slid down the door to the carpet. I wrapped my arms around myself and closed my eyes. Get a grip, Lin. You have to get a grip. You can’t be jealous of her. You have to be happy for her. You have to. You cannot lust for him this way. You can’t. It’s just not right.

I sucked in a deep breath, wiped my eyes, and stood up. I washed my face and reapplied my makeup before I returned to an empty kitchen. A round, covered plate lay on a warming tray on top of the island. Beside it was a cup of coffee, a glass of orange juice, and a scrawled note.

I hope you don’t mind but Jen and I are having breakfast together. I’ll come along to clean up after you later. Jarrod.

I’d never been so relieved to eat alone in my life. The omelet was delicious, as was the fresh–squeezed juice. Still I only ate half of the omelet.

I drank the orange juice and coffee before I scraped the remnants of my plate in the garbage disposal, placed my cutlery in the dishpan, and went to stretch out on one of the lounge chairs encircling the in–ground pool in their huge backyard.

I must have dozed off. Because the next thing I knew when I stirred, I found Jen lying on the lounger beside me. She wore a halter–top that showcased her cleavage and a pair of shorts, and two–inch heels that highlighted her long, slender legs.

I stretched and smothered a yawn. “You look great, Jen” I told her.

She smiled. “You mean even after having twins?”

I shook my head. “No. You just look good.”

“Thanks, Lin. You’ve always been one of my biggest cheerleaders.” She tilted her head. “What’s with the overdressing? Slip on a bikini and we’ll go for a swim.”

“I’m full–figured,” I reminded her.

She shrugged. “So?”

“So, I don’t do bikinis.” I brushed a hand over my breasts and thighs. “There’s too much of me for a bikini to contain.”

She laughed. “Ain’t it the truth? But, as you very well know, Lin, discerning men like women with lots of curves.”

I bit back the urge to ask her if Jarrod was one of them. Thankfully, I’d never suffered from a lack of sufficient male interest. I smiled. “Well, there certainly is a lot of me to like.”

She nodded. “So why not showcase your body?”

I stared at her. “To who? There doesn’t seem to be anyone but the two of us here.”

“I asked Jarrod to let us spend the rest of the day alone.”

Normally that would sound perfectly reasonable, but I found my guilt coloring everything.  “Why?”

“I thought you’d be more comfortable.”

I swallowed quickly. “Really?” I should have left it there, but I couldn’t. “Why should I be more comfortable without him around?”

She was silent for several moments before she looked directly into my eyes.

As I met her gaze, a wave of shame engulfed me. Why? She clearly knew of my lust for Jarrod. We were, after all, best friends. I wanted to look away from her, but I couldn’t. During our long relationship, we’d had few secrets or areas off limits for discussion.

I sighed. “I don’t know what to say, Jen.”

“So, it’s true? I haven’t misread your interest in Jarrod?”

Chapter Two

How the hell was I supposed to answer that without allowing her to see just how shallow and self–centered I’d discovered I was? “Jen…I…oh, Jen…”

Jen leaned over and touched my arm. “It’s okay, Lin. Believe me, I know the kind of effect Jarrod has on the opposite sex. On the surface, he seems ordinary, but he has an animal like magnetism that reaches out and sweeps you off your feet, and leaves you lost in a fog of lust and need when you least expect it.”

I shook my head and stared down at my hands. “Jen…”

“Anyway, he’s gone for the day. So if you want to go put that bikini on, we can swim or just sit out here and sunbathe.”

And just that quickly, without forcing me to vocalize my lust, she let me know she understood and didn’t seem to think any less of me. I had to blink back tears at her graciousness.

“I didn’t bring a bikini, but I did bring a few bathing suits. “ I rose and started to walk away. Then I turned back to face her. “I’m sorry,” I told her. “I don’t understand what’s happening, but I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize, Lin. I know I can trust you with him.”

Unfortunately I wasn’t so sure of that. “You didn’t tell him…he doesn’t know…does he?”

She shook her head. “He has no conceit and has no idea of the effect he has on women.”

That was a relief. I turned and went up to my room to change into a one–piece bathing suit.

We spent the afternoon swimming and sunbathing. Between dozing and swimming, she asked about my love life. “Are you content with your situation?”

“My situation? My job?”

“No. Your personal life.”

I shrugged. “Well, I was.” Until I’d met Jarrod.

There was silence for a few moments.

I turned to meet her gaze and just as we’d done other countless times, we burst into spontaneous, shared laughter.

When we’d sobered enough to wipe the tears from our cheeks, I sighed. “I have to leave, Jen.”

She nodded. “I know, but not for a few days. Stay at least a week, Lin.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to endanger our friendship. I need to go ASAP, Jen.”

“Are you planning to make a play for Jarrod?”

“No! Of course not.”

She shrugged. “Then I can’t see why our relationship would be endangered. I understand that being around him will be unpleasant, but I’ll get him to spend as much time away from home as possible while you’re here.”

“Jen—”

“Besides, if you stay for the full two weeks as you promised, you’ll not only get to spend two weekends at our place at the shore, but you’ll also get to meet Grant.”

“Who’s Grant?”

“He’s Jarrod’s cousin.”

I stared at her. If she was going to turn into a matchmaker...

Her lips twitched. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“Really?”

“Yes. You’re thinking you’re not interested in a blind date.”

Despite the effect Jarrod had on me, I had no desire to have Jen or anyone else assume that my preference had switched to white males. It hadn’t.  “So why would I want to meet this Grant?”

“He and Jarrod are first cousins.”

“And?”

“And he’s a single, very successful and well–paid executive.”

I arched a brow.

“You two should have a lot in common. You work for a drug company and he’s the vice–president in charge of expansion for a large insurance company.”

“Sounds so impressive that he shouldn’t need any help getting a date on his own.”

“Believe me he doesn’t need any help getting a date.”

“I don’t need any help getting a date either,” I reminded her.

“You know I know that, Lin.”

“Then I’m not sure why we’re having this discussion.”

She shrugged. “I’ve missed you. I guess I’m desperate to keep you here for as long as possible.”

I smiled at her. “You are an amazing woman and friend and despite the situation I’m delighted you finally found your Mr. Right.”

“You’ll find yours too, Lin.”

The only problem was my Mr. Right belonged to her. Not that I could admit that. So I nodded. “I know. I just hope I find him before I’m too old to really enjoy him.”

That triggered another round of laughter. When it was over, I allowed her to convince me to stay at least a week. “But I’m not interested in meeting this Grant,” I warned.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not.”

“He travels a lot and that’s the biggest reason he’s not seeing anyone special.”

“Hmm.” I glanced at my watch. “I’d better go change.”

“Put on something slinky and clingy.”

“Are you and I having dinner alone?”

“No. Jarrod is having dinner with us.”

“Then why would I dress in a slinky and clingy outfit?”

She shrugged. “You know how it is.”

I frowned. “I know how what is?”

“How things are with men.”

I tensed. That almost sounded like the old, insecure Jen. “I thought you were happy with Jarrod.”

“I am very happy with him.”

“Then?”

“But let’s face it, Lin. He’s a man.”

He certainly was. “And?” I encouraged.

“And for all his devotion, he’s still a man. He likes being in the company of beautiful women he can ogle.”

I arched a brow. “And that doesn’t bother you?”

She shook her head. “No. Why should it?”

“Okay, what the heck am I missing, Jen?”

“Nothing. We just have an agreement we’re both happy with. He gets to stare in appreciation at beautiful women and I get to stare at handsome men. As you know we bought a place down at the shore a few years ago and we spend most weekends down there.”

“When we have the kids with us, we’re the normal Mommy and Daddy. When they’re visiting various relatives during the weekends, we let our hair down.”

I bit my lip. “Do I want to know just how much you two let your hair down, Jen?”

“It’s nothing too outrageous. He spends his time staring at pretty, nearly half–naked women, while I get to gaze at handsome hunks. The last time we were at the shore without the twins, there was this ebony delight strolling down the beach who had a long cock with a big pink head.”

I prefer my men with dark skin and big dicks. Her description caught my attention. “How do you know the size of his goods?”

She made fanning motions with her hand. “I could see it hanging below his shorts. And I do mean shorts. He knew he was partially exposed and didn’t care. When he turned to smile at me, I could see the outline of his balls. Talk about tall, dark, and well–hung.”

I blinked at her.

She laughed. “Oh, there’s no need to look at me like that. At night, when it really counts, Jarrod and I look to each other for sexual satisfaction and emotional fulfillment. When push comes to shove, he’s the man I want lying between my legs when I need to be loved and mine is the name he groans when he comes.”

I continued to stare at her. This was her idea of an intriguing sexual relationship? Ogling strangers in plain view of each other? That wasn’t my idea of a good relationship.

“It works for us, Lin.”

I nodded. “You both look happy so I’m sure it does.” But it was a little too unique for my taste. While I knew men would be men, I didn’t want any man of mine openly and blatantly checking out another woman’s goods while I looked on in approval.

“Trust me. It does.”

I flashed her a quick smile. “Great.”

“Yes. Now go put on something sexy and scandalous that will get him so hot and bothered he’ll rip off my clothes and ravish me the moment we’re alone in our bedroom. You tease the hell out of him and he’ll please the hell out of me.”

“Be serious, Jen.”

She gave me a wide–eyed stare. “I’m very serious. Wear something where your breasts are almost popping out of your bra and that barely covers your ass. He likes women with big asses.”

Well, I could certainly lay claim to having a big ass. “If you two have that type of understanding, why did you seem upset yesterday when you realized I was…attracted to him?”

“I wasn’t sure I wanted to admit we sometimes like to flirt with other people.” She sighed. “Some of our friends are a little too judgmental. They think we’re risking our marriage and relationship just because we like to flirt a little with other people.”

Now where would they get such an idea? “Flirt?”

She shrugged. “Okay… ogle them. That’s one of the things that keep our marriage fresh and exciting.”

I wondered just how much excitement they craved. “Have you two ever done more than just flirt with other people?”

She shook her head. “Absolutely not! Neither of us would cheat. We love each other too much for that.”

“And you’re not afraid things will get out of hand for either one of you and go beyond flirting?”

“No. We’re very happy together and we happen to still be in love.”

How long would their love last if they kept asking for trouble by openly flirting with other people? “Well…I guess if it works for you two.”

“It does.”

I shrugged. “Then who am I to judge?”

She smiled. “I knew you’d understand.”

I neither understood nor agreed, but decided my job was to be her friend, not try to impose my values on her. “I’d better go shower and change.”

She rose. “Me too.” Jen slipped her arm through mine and we went inside together.

While in the shower, I thought of our conversation and allowed my thoughts to turn to Jarrod. I closed my eyes and pretended I was with him as I removed the shower head from its casing and pretended the water jet was his hand on my clit. I fingered myself until I felt a nice buzz but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t come. I decided it served me right for allowing my imagination to get out of hand.

When I emerged from the bathroom, Jen stood near the open closet door of the guest bedroom holding up a low–cut mauve dress for my inspection.

I studied the dress. It fell just below my knees, but had a slit that extended from below the knee to mid–thigh. In her other hand she held a pair of three–inch heels. “Wear these and you’ll have him hyperventilating,” she told me.

The thought of Jarrod getting aroused when looking at me in that outfit sent a tingle of delight through me. I moistened my lips. “What are you going to wear?”

She glanced down at herself. “Just what I have on now.”