Betrayed (7 page)

Ethan shook his head, confused. “That’s not what happened at all,” he said. “We went on a few dates, that was it.”

Pain shot through my stomach. I didn’t want to think about him with Dana. And he wasn’t denying that he was with her. How could things have gone so wrong?

“I thought you were different,” I said. “I feel like I don’t know you at all.”

I got up and made for the door. Ethan followed close behind.

“Kayla, what are you doing? Don’t leave like this,” he said.

“I can’t stay here,” I said. “I don’t want to be near you. I’ve got enough going on in my life than to try and deal with this as well.”

I got to the door, but Ethan put a hand on it and held it shut.

“Let me out,” I said, without looking at him.

“I’m not some homework assignment you can just walk away from,” he said.

“Let me out,” I repeated. My eyes were locked on the door, but I could feel him near me.

“Kayla, let’s talk about this. Don’t leave things like this.”

“You should have told me about her,” I said. “I won’t let you make a fool of me.” My voice was low, and cold. “Now, let me out.”

Ethan sighed deeply, but took his hand off the door. I marched out to my car and climbed in without another word. I had to get away - I had to put some distance between us.

I felt like I was going to suffocate.

Ethan sat stunned for a full five minutes after Kayla walked out. He had slid down the front door and propped himself against it. He didn’t have the strength to get up. His mind swirled as he tried to make sense of everything that had just happened. In a flash, his world had collapsed around him.

He laughed at the irony of it all. Just an hour before he had thought of her as his girlfriend; now, he wasn’t sure she was his friend at all. But he didn’t have anyone else to blame. She was right - it was his fault. He could have avoided it all if he had just been honest and straight forward in the beginning.

“Earth to Ethan - you there?” a voice said.

Ethan shook his head to clear it, then snapped into focus.

Trevor.

“You OK?” Trevor asked. He stooped down over Ethan; the smell of bourbon hung in a cloud around him.

“No, no I’m not OK,” Ethan snarled. He pushed himself to his feet. “What are you doing here? Tell me.”

Trevor took a startled step backward. “Relax. No need to get pushy.”

“Tell me,
now
.”

Ethan felt the blood pulsing through him. His clenched his fist into tiny balls until his knuckles turned white. He didn’t want to
relax
.

“Look, things were getting a little hot back home. I just needed some time away.” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t realize it was going to be a big issue - I thought you’d be glad to see me.”

It was the first honest thing Trevor had said that afternoon. The two stood there staring at each other for a moment. Then, Ethan blew out a sharp breath. His shoulders slumped and he made his way into the den. He didn’t want to fight.

“What do you mean by things were hot?” Ethan asked. He pulled out a glass and set it on the wet bar.

“It was this lady friend of mine. Things just weren’t going well.”

“You go through lady friends like I go through protein shakes,” Ethan said. “Maybe you should treat them a little better and there wouldn’t be any trouble.”

“You’re one to talk,” Trevor said. “You do realize I could hear everything going on in here, right?”

“We’re not talking about me right now, we’re talking about why you suddenly feel the need to come crash at my place.” Ethan eyed him coldly. “You’ve never visited me before.”

“You’re a real class act, you know that?” Trevor said. “You act all high and mighty. What makes you think you’re so much better than me?”

Ethan flinched for the first time. He was taking his frustrations out on Trevor for no reason. His brother hadn’t done anything wrong other than show up unannounced.

He blew out a sigh and gave his brother a neutral smile.

“Got any more of that whisky?” he asked.

Trevor’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “I’ll go grab it.”

The two sat for a long while and caught up with each other’s lives. Trevor was tight lipped about everything that happened in New York. Ethan could tell that it was still a sensitive subject, and he didn’t push him to open up. Ethan did tell him everything about the situation with Kayla and Dana, however. It was good to get it off his chest, and perhaps even gain a little perspective.

“Now I know why she was so mad,” Trevor joked, but Ethan wasn’t in the mood.

“Kayla’s different,” he said, simply. “She’s not like all the other girls out there.” He sighed and shook his head. “There’s a real connection there. I can feel it.”

“Breakups suck,” Trevor agreed. “But she’s half your age and probably looking to do something else with her life. She doesn’t want to settle down with an old timer like you.”

Ethan growled at him. “The age difference never even came up. Sure, it was there, but it was never an issue.”

“From the sound of it, you guys didn’t have a handle on the issues.”

Ethan thought about it and realized that his brother was right. He and Kayla didn’t have a typical relationship - because they weren’t allowed to. It’s not like they could go out on dates, or be together in public. They spent their time cooped up in Ethan’s house - and there was only one thing happening there.

They were still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship. They hadn’t been given the chance to deal with any of the real issues; to solidify and strengthen their bond as a result of the little disagreements and arguments that usually crop up in the beginning. They had been hit with something big from the get-go; and it had left them in shambles.

“I’m going to get her back,” Ethan said.

“Get her back?” Trevor repeated. “She didn’t sound like she was in the mood to be won over.”

“She’s just upset. She’ll calm down, and when she does, we’ll be able to have a more adult, mature conversation.” Ethan nodded to himself. “I can win her back.”

Trevor shook his head doubtfully. “You dated her best friend. Girls don’t usually get over that sort of thing.”

Ethan cringed again. He knew that he was facing an uphill battle and that Trevor was the voice of reason. But love wasn’t reasonable.

“I’ll make it work,” he said, resolute.

Trevor sat there and stared at his older brother for a long minute. He raised his glass. “You’re going to need all of the luck you can get, then.”

The two clinked their glasses together in a toast, and then drank into the late hours of the night.

* * * * *

I drove.

I drove for a long time.

The sun had been up when I left Ethan’s house, but I kept driving until it was pitch black outside. I wasn’t going anywhere in particular - I just wasn’t ready to go home. Going home meant that I had to face reality. Avoiding reality was only delaying the inevitable, but I had a right to be a little delusional, given the circumstances.

The night sky was beautiful. Stars shone bright and vibrant. One of the things I had come to love about Tucson was how dark it was. Laws kept the light pollution abnormally low so telescopes could be used to view the night sky. Once, someone had told me that Tucson was considered the astronomy capital of the world. I didn’t know if that was true, but I did enjoy looking up at the stars. They took me somewhere else; a place where I could forget all of the worries in my life.

I didn’t remember driving all the way up there, but I found myself at Lookout Summit. It was nestled on the side of Mount Lemmon and gave a perfect view out over the city.

It was peaceful.

I leaned against my car and watched the city lights shimmer. The low winter moon cast its long light across the city. The lights hovered and bounced and reminded me of the way the moon’s light reflected off the gentle waters on Lake Havasu. We used to go there when I was a child. My parents would rent a boat and we’d speeding along the lake, carefree and happy. It was a magical time. But it was a time I would never get back.

Those vacations had stopped. They were a thing of the past - a past where my father could still make money working in technology. We had to go through a lot of changes when he was laid off. Mother worked as a bookkeeper for a few small businesses in Flagstaff, and that kept food on the table. But Dad could never find another job in technology. He had blamed it on a number of things; but I knew that it was because he had never been to college. He didn’t have the formal education and training, stamped on the right paperwork and the right credentials, to earn a competitive wage. It was his life’s passion and he was better at it than any fresh college graduate - but that didn’t matter. Eventually Mom got him on for one of her clients - a local general store - and he had been there ever since. We didn’t live as comfortably after that, but the bills got paid, and we were happy.

It was good to remember those times; the good and the bad. When times were tough at school, it helped to keep things in perspective. It helped to remind myself of why I was there in the first place.
 

To make a better life for myself.

To make a better life for my parents.

To make a better life for those I loved.

A tear welled and rolled down my eye. Love. That’s a funny thing. Hours earlier I would have said that I was falling in love with Ethan. He was to be the new thing in my life; the person I could lean on and grow with. What a fool I had been.

More tears came. I didn’t stop them. I couldn’t stop them. Why couldn’t Ethan have just been honest with me from the start? Would it have been too much to ask?

I cringed and thought about Dana again. Why couldn’t I have been honest with her from the start? She would have told me outright what had gone on between the two of them - and I could have saved myself the heartache all the same.

I looked out over the city lights again. Now, they were blurred by the stream of tears flowing down my face. All I saw was one big jumbled mess in front of me. Like the lights, my life had gone from being in neat little rows, everything in its proper place, to being one big jumbled mess.

I buried my face in my hands and cried for hours. I cried until my chest hurt; until my face hurt; until my throat hurt. I got it all out. And when I was done, and when there were no more tears to cry, I wiped them away as best I could.

The moon had risen higher into the night’s sky, and shown its light directly on top of the city. The city’s lights were once again in neat little rows, waiting to be explored. It was going to be a rough few weeks - but I was going to make it. I was going to succeed. I was going to pull through. My parents had given me the strength to weather the storm, and I was more sad than ever that I wasn’t going to see them for the holidays.

I drove down the mountain slowly that night. I was returning to life with a renewed purpose; with a renewed energy. I wasn’t going to let things pull me down - if not for myself, then for those I loved.

“Remind me why we’re at this hole in the wall,” Trevor said, looking around the tiny coffee shop.

Ethan shot him a contemptuous look.

“Dana is going to meet us here,” Ethan reminded him for the fifth time since they had left the house.

The coffee bar was quaint and, more importantly, out of the way. A few students studied in the corners, but for the most part it was quiet and sleepy. It was the Saturday before finals, and most of the town had hunkered down into studying mode. But, not Ethan. He had a different objective in mind.

He had called Kayla twice, but she hadn’t answer. He hadn’t expected her to, but he had to give it a shot anyways. Two days had passed since he had spoken to her; since she had walked out of his life. It was the longest time they’d gone without speaking since they had begun their affair weeks ago. He missed her.

Trevor sipped his cup of water, his face ambivalent. A girl sat in the corner, studying from a huge textbook. It wasn’t long before she noticed him, too.

“You’re wasting your time,” Trevor said. “There’s plenty of talent in this town.” He nodded at the girl. “She’s pretty hot. Go talk to her, instead.”

Ethan didn’t bother looking.

“It’s not a waste of time,” he said. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“You sound desperate,” Trevor said, still making eyes at the girl.

“I am.”

Trevor’s narrowed as he turned to Ethan. He studied him for a long second, but didn’t press the matter.

“Well, if you’re not going to make a play for her - then I will,” Trevor said.

“She’s all yours,” he said.

Trevor set the cup of water on the table and slid away to the corner. Ethan watched his brother as he struck up a conversation with the girl in the corner like it was the most natural thing in the world. He wondered how many guys would kill to be able to have that level of confidence in themselves. Ethan considered his brother, again. Perhaps vanity was a better description.

Once upon a time, Ethan had been more of a ladies man. Girls still showed an obvious interest in him, but he had calmed down over the years. There were more important things in life than chasing tail and hooking up. And he had already found the most important of them all.

Dana showed up thirty minutes late. Ethan had expected it, and it came as no surprise. She was wearing a low cut top, revealing more cleavage than was necessary. She wore skin-tight designer jeans that probably cost more money than his monthly car payment. The spoils of being daddy’s little girl.

“You made it,” Ethan said with a big smile.

“I wasn’t going to come at all,” she said. “But you know how I have a hard time telling you no.” Her smile was venomous.

She bent over at the hips when she sat down. He got a full view of her cleavage as she did - which had been her purpose. He snorted and fixed himself with a neutral face. He wasn’t attracted to her; not anymore. He could see through her facade.

“I was wondering when you’d ask me out again,” she said.

“This
isn’t
a date,” Ethan said.