Betrayals in Spring (23 page)

“I drank it. Other Deshi was standing there staring at me, so I didn’t have a choice. On the way back to the Morgans’, something happened. To my power. It was strong, too strong to control and I thought I would explode.” I pause, feeling my cheeks go hot. “I boiled away all the water in the toilet.”

Lucas and I suspected the offering to the Terminal students was meant to perhaps locate the two of us with more ease. It would have been less cumbersome than interviewing our whole year, had I simply exploded into a fireball at the Family Outing. It had been pure luck that I had been one of the last to drink, and that I’d made it to the privacy of the wasteroom at the Morgans before anything happened.

A light glints in Lucas’s eyes, visible even in the dim night. “They suspected the Elements’ kids would have a reaction to the drink and wanted to use it to figure out if we were there. Or if Pax was.”

“They already had Pax and Deshi; they were looking for you and me. But yeah, I think it could be their secret. The only problem is, we don’t know what it is.”

I think for a minute. “But if Leah’s right about the primordial nuclide thing, maybe she could narrow it down if she knew it was pink.”

“How much does that actually matter, though? What it is?” Pax pulls my attention back to him. “I mean, we know what it looks like and Lucas knows where they’re finding it. What else do we need to know in order to take it away?”

“Except I don’t know where the land of endless ice is,” Lucas reminds us. “I disappeared into a flurry of glitter powder both coming and going.”

A movement below us, inky shadows writhing inside the already black night, cuts off our hushed debate on how helpful knowledge of the pink stuff might be. Three Others—it’s too dark to make out if they’re wearing Warden uniforms or the white ones the brainwashing staff prefers—exit through the door in the mountain. They move back and forth between the door leading inside and the trash pile, dumping armloads at a time. In less than five minutes, the night is empty again, as though they were never there.

A while later, the sky fades to gray and the three of us make our way back to the historical museum. Once inside, we all settle in to sleep away at least part of the day. Pax and I burrow underneath blankets while Lucas lays uncovered, bare legs and arms a healthy pink in the chilly morning.

“It seems like they just come and go from that door. No patrols or anything. I’ll wait until dark and then go inside, try to find Deshi.” Lucas details the plan again, even though it hasn’t changed, and a slight tremor shudders under his confidence.

My heart squeezes, knowing he’s scared. He
should
be scared. Lucas isn’t stupid, and this plan is dangerous. But Pax and I are right here, we have a timeline, and we’re not leaving Lucas alone in there for long. We’re going to wait on top of the cliff again so we can see him enter, and if he doesn’t come out in twenty minutes, we’ll go in after him.

It would take too long to get down, but Pax thinks he can float us on the wind. I won’t complain about not having to hike up there again. We’re going to test run that on the way up tonight, just to be safe.

It drives me a little insane, not being able to reach out and touch Lucas. We’re across the room from each other and my fingers itch to find his, to give him a reassuring squeeze, but instead I use words. For the first time, they’re inadequate to express everything in my heart. “It’s going to be okay, Lucas. We’re going to be there the whole time.”

“I know.”

***

“This is such a bad idea,” I say, shaking my head.

Now that the horrible tan Warden uniform drapes Lucas’s sturdy frame, I don’t want to go through with it. The thought of sending him in there with those blue, blue eyes and the sweetness that basically falls off of him, all of which screams,
I am not an Other, no matter who my father is
, makes me sick to my stomach.

“Althea, no one is going to pay a lick of attention to one more Warden walking the halls. I’m not going to talk to anyone, and if I can’t find Deshi in fifteen minutes, I’m coming out.”

That’s the idea, anyway. Pax’s lips press into a thin line, telling me that no matter how much he agrees with sending Lucas in there, this course of action isn’t rating very high on his scale of smart things to do, either.

But we have to do something, and the Others aren’t going to let Deshi out of their sight. We can’t get him out without knowing where he is or how many Wardens are guarding him. We either send Lucas in alone or all of us barge in together, starting a severely outnumbered fight we’ll never win, especially if any one of the Elements gets involved. As bad of a plan as this is, it’s better than trying to outgun them. Sneaking Deshi out is the only solution, even if I’m pretty sure they’re holding him here as a trap.

I step toward Lucas, pulling my sleeves down over my hands before brushing away some lingering pink dust on one of his shoulders. Without meeting his gaze, I smooth out the wrinkles in his borrowed uniform, mostly as an excuse to touch him, to reassure myself he’s solid and capable.

His hands close over mine, pulling my gaze to his. I forget about who would be better suited to go up against the Others alone because it doesn’t matter. The simple fact that neither Pax nor I are blond rules us out as contestants. It’s Lucas or nothing.

The chill from his palms transfers to my skin, and there are so many things I want to say but none of them are enough. Why am I always letting him go?

Instead of blubbering like an idiot, I lay my head against his chest for a second, feel his cheek brush against my hair, and then reluctantly push him away. “Okay, stop stalling. It’s been dark for a few hours. Let’s go.”

“Hey, if all a guy has to do to get a little affection is walk straight into a hornet’s nest, then that’s what I’ll do,” Lucas jokes weakly.

Pax doesn’t look like he thinks it’s very funny. I wonder if he hates being left behind, letting Lucas get all the bravery points, but remind myself that’s not really Pax’s style. He’s probably as worried as I am that we’re going to end up short two men instead of one.

The three of us retrace our steps from the night before, separating at the base of the mountain. Lucas’s shadowy form disappears around to our left, and I turn to Pax, blowing out a shaky breath. “Let’s see what your wind can do, shall we?”

Without answering, Pax pulls me close to his side, then spreads his palms out facing the ground. A second later wind begins to build, blowing straight up the way it did when Vant, Pax’s father, lifted the jungle gym off his son.

“You’re doing it!” My elation tapers off when a glance down reveals we’ve ascended nearly to the top of Mount Rushmore on nothing but Pax’s abilities. It’s a pretty neat trick, but I’m happier when my feet are back on solid ground.

Pax grins from ear to ear, pride shining in his handsome face, while we make our way to our vantage point from the night before and stare down at the ground until we see Lucas lurking behind the pile of trash. He raises a hand in acknowledgment of our presence. I take a deep breath and hold it, sensing that Lucas is doing that very same thing at that very same moment, then he disappears through the door.

Minutes tick by, and it’s been less than five by the time I sweat through my clothes. I need some kind of distraction or I’m never going to live through the next fifteen without melting the skin off my face. I struggle to my feet, breathing a little bit heavily, and reach my hand down to Pax.

He pulls upward, not questioning why I want us both to stand.

“So, you know how the boys in
A Separate Peace
go to a dance?” He gives me a look, and I shake my head. “Right. You know that book like the back of your hand. Anyway, Griffin showed me dancing. You want to learn?”

“Now?”

“I need to do something.”

His gaze rakes my face, and I’m sure the scent of jasmine is about to make him throw up it’s so strong. He chooses not to comment, nodding instead. “Okay, sure.”

I step toward him, stopping when I realize too late the exercise is going to involve the two of us touching each other. I swallow hard, then reach out for his arms, securing one of his hands around my waist and keeping the other wrapped around one of mine. My opposite arm loops around his neck, his pulse pounding against my forearm and thudding into my chest.

Worry over Lucas distracts and dulls my usual reaction to touching Pax. It’s soft around the edges, almost sad. He pushes the smallest amount of extra space in between us, but I notice. It’s a little easier to breathe. “Okay.”

I’m getting ready to explain the twirling, wishing we had some music, when he heaves a heavy sigh. “Oh, Summer.”

The number of emotions tangled in those two words punch me in my heart, my gut, and somewhere deeper, making me feel like I’m trying to hold on to a warm afternoon that’s slipping into evening. The stream of attraction, so strong when the two of us were alone last winter, trickles deeper until even though I can still remember what it felt like, I can barely sense it anymore.

He leans his forehead against mine while nerves hop between us. “It’s okay.”

“What’s okay?”

“You’ve been right all along, that we need to fight. And not only because it’s our duty or something lame like that. It’s just the right thing to do.” He chuckles softly. “That sounds even lamer. But the point is, I’m not going to leave you, or Winter. Not until all of this is over.”

“Pax, what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about whatever started to happen between us last season. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the look on Winter’s face when I told him the Others had you. And it was over the minute you looked up and saw him standing in that Observatory Pod.” Pax tips my chin up when I try to look away. “Who knows, if you and I had met first, maybe things would be different. And I’m always going to be a little sorry we never got to see if the pull between us could have been more. But your heart is somewhere else. I think it always was.”

It surprises me to realize he could be right. If Lucas and I hadn’t already bonded before I met Pax, would my feelings be reversed? It’s a little sad, that it doesn’t matter now. Things happened the way they did, and I definitely feel the way I do.

“I…I care about you, too, Pax.” The tremble in my voice betrays the fact that this moment, now that it’s here, is harder than I imagined.

“I know. I care about you, too. And Lucas, despite my best efforts. You guys are all I’ve got in the universe, and I just thought if I reassured you that I’m going to be sticking around no matter what, maybe we could settle into being friends.” He pulls back a little, clearing his throat. “And you shouldn’t put off being happy on my account. You deserve it. We all do.”

I nod, hoping he can’t see the tears in my eyes. “We
are
friends, Pax. The last thing I want is for you to walk out of my life.” It takes a couple of tries to swallow the lump of emotions clogging my throat. My gratitude for what Pax is doing makes me love him more than I already did.

He smiles at me, and it almost looks normal. It might be weird for a couple of days, but Pax and I are going to be okay. I drop Pax’s hands and lean into him, wrapping my arms tight around his waist.

“Thank you,” I mumble into his sweatshirt as I breathe in his familiar, spicy-sweet aroma. I don’t know if he hears me, but he doesn’t respond.

I stay until his arms slide around my back and his shoulders relax against me, until it’s okay to touch each other and feel warm friendship instead of heat.

Until Lucas returns.

CHAPTER 19.

“At least you haven’t been up here worrying.” Lucas clips off the words, pinching them the way Mrs. Hammond snaps the dead heads off her peonies.

This looks awful. I can’t believe we lost track of time, or maybe he’s come back quicker than we imagined. The conversation was intense, and Pax and I needed it, but what Lucas sees now is pretty much the opposite of what it looks like.

Pax lets his arms fall from around me as though nothing’s amiss. I try to copy his nonchalance, and maybe succeed half as well. Relief floods me at the sight of Lucas, unharmed, but I don’t go to him. “Are you early?”

“Yeah. I found Deshi. I couldn’t get him alone.” Lucas sits down on the rocky surface, flopping as though his legs have given out.

I move closer, not caring whether he’s angry at finding me in Pax’s arms anymore. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he answers tightly. “I think all my adrenaline is gone, though.”

I sit near him but not touching, and Pax joins us on Lucas’s other side.

“What did you find out?” he asks carefully, as though Lucas’s feelings are eggshells. I hate the sound of his voice like that but sense it’s going to take a few days for things to level out between the three of us.

Lucas closes his eyes like he’s counting to ten.

Maybe more than a few days.

“It’s huge in there, a ton of open space. There’s one big room where it looks like at least half the Wardens in existence were playing some kind of card game with colored tokens. I went the opposite direction, obviously. I remembered how in the hive the oldest places are down low, and Deshi is pretty new, so when I found stairs I took them up.”