Betrayal (Blood Haze: Book Three) A Paranormal Romance (13 page)

Alexi stroked my hair gently, holding me
close to him as I sobbed.

“Shh,” he whispered into my ear. “It will be
alright. I promise.”

“How can it be alright?” I cried, looking up
at him and desperately wishing I could see the eyes he hid in the
shadow of his cloak. “It will never be alright! Without dark magic,
we might not be able to defeat Dmitri! But I can feel it inside me,
Alexi. It’s dark and it’s evil, and I can feel it trying to tear me
apart!”

“I was so afraid this would happen, Alice. I
tried to warn you. I did everything I could to stop you.”

“It’s not your fault, Alexi. I know you did
everything you could. This was my choice. I only hope it’s not too
late to undo the damage.”

“When Father Jacobs arrives, he might know
what to do,” Alexi told me. “I will ask him what can be done.”

I looked down at the book, to which I still
clung tightly. It seemed to call to me, like a siren song leading
me to certain doom. Part of me wanted to take the book and run away
with it… and that part was very powerful. But I squared my jaw and
thrust the book toward Alexi. His hands closed over mine, and I
felt the book being pulled from my grasp. For one moment, I
tightened my grip on it, but Alexi tugged harder, and I let it
go.

“I am going to put this somewhere for safe
keeping,” Alexi told me.

“That’s probably a good idea,” I
admitted.

It was true. The book was still calling me,
pulling me in with some inexplicable force. I still wanted to steal
it away from Alexi and run, and I knew there was a very real chance
I might do something like that if given the chance. As Alexi
departed to secure the book, I noticed Kai and Liam had been
standing behind him. They both looked relieved.

“I’m sorry,” I told them both.

“You did the right thing,” Liam said.

Kai nodded in agreement.

“What if we can’t defeat Dmitri without it?”
I asked seriously.

“Then we will deal with that if it happens,”
Liam replied. “But it’s not worth the risk of losing you
forever.”

“You may lose me, anyway,” I remarked.

“We might have a chance to get you back from
Dmitri,” Liam said. “I’m not so sure we could bring you back from
the kind of madness you would descend into if you continued with
dark magic.”

He had a point. Though I’d only been dabbling
in dark magic for a few hours, its pull was undeniable. When Alexi
had taken the book from my hands, it felt as though he were
dragging a large chunk of my soul along with it.

“What if it’s already too late?” I asked.

I noticed Kai shudder.

“Let’s just hope Father Jacobs has the
answer,” Liam said quickly. “I couldn’t bear it if…”

His voice trailed off, and his eyes suddenly
glistened.

“If what?” I urged him.

He shook his head as if it clear it.

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

“Liam, don’t hide stuff from me.”

“I’m not!” he shouted, turning his back to
me.

I put my hand on his shoulder. This wasn’t
like him at all. He was usually so chipper and so forthcoming with
what he was thinking. He jerked his shoulder away from my hand.

“What in the…” I started to say.

“Just forget it,” Liam muttered.

“Fine,” I mumbled.

“Hey, why don’t we go to the dining hall and
grab something to eat while we wait for Father Jacobs to arrive?”
Kai asked, obviously trying to break the awkwardness of the
situation.

“I’m not really hungry,” I grumbled.

“You should eat,” Kai argued. “Alexi will
have a fit if he thinks we’re not feeding you often enough.”

I sighed.

“Fine,” I conceded. “Let’s go.”

We went to the dining hall and ordered some
food at the window. It was awkward sitting there with Kai and Liam.
No one spoke, and Liam refused to even make eye contact with me. I
wished Father Jacobs would hurry up and arrive.

Thankfully, Father Jacobs arrived quickly,
and Alexi greeted him at the door. He quickly ushered Father Jacobs
into the privacy of his upstairs office, presumably to discuss me –
and the dark magic issue.

Alexi had Liam and Kai guarding me at all
times. They were under explicit instructions to be within three
feet of me at any given time. Not that they were complaining. Kai
was thrilled to have an excuse to be as close to me as possible,
and Liam used it as an opportunity to pick on me as much as
possible. He really was infuriating and entertaining all at
once.

Alexi and Father Jacobs were in his office
for nearly an hour. Kai, Liam, and I were in the library joking
around, when Alexi asked me to join him for a while. Clearly, Kai
and Liam were not invited.

I followed Alexi upstairs to his office.
Father Jacobs was seated in a wingback chair in front of Alexi’s
desk, and there was an identical one sitting empty beside him.

“Alice, I presume?” Father Jacobs asked,
standing and taking my hand.

“Yes, Father,” I said. “I’m pleased to meet
you.”

“Likewise,” he countered. “Please, take a
seat.”

I sat in the chair beside him, and he reached
for my hands.

“May I?” he asked.

I nodded, and he took both of my hands in
his. He looked at me curiously, and then he frowned
thoughtfully.

“Yes, yes,” he said. “I can see what you
mean, Alexi. I can feel it inside her. It’s growing within
her.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“There’s a darkness growing inside you,” he
explained. “I can feel it. In time, it will consume you.”

“Is there any way to stop it?” I wanted to
know.

“Possibly,” he said. “But I’m not sure there
is anything I can do for you personally.”

“Who can?” I asked.

“I’m not sure, but I can make some calls,” he
answered honestly. “But there’s something else inside you, and I’m
guessing it’s causing you a great deal of trouble.”

“What do you mean?”

“Alexi, would you mind leaving us alone for a
few minutes?” Father Jacobs implored.

Alexi cleared his throat uncomfortably. He
was clearly unenthusiastic about leaving my side, even for a
moment. But he nodded, and he backed slowly out of the room and
closed the door.

“Alice, let me ask you something,” Father
Jacobs said in a very quiet voice. “Do you have trouble with
people… with men… falling in love with you inexplicably?”

My heart jumped inside my chest, and I rolled
my eyes.

“You could say that,” I groaned.

“I thought so,” he said.

“Why?”

“You have another ability I’m guessing you
are unaware of,” he explained. “One you probably use on a regular
basis without realizing it.”

“And that is?”

“You can charm people… men, specifically.
Possibly lesbians, too,” he told me.

“Charm. You mean, like some sort of magical
spell or something?”

“Something like that, yes.”

Father Jacobs cleared his throat
uncomfortably and shifted in his seat.

“You’re using it now,” he added.

“Oh, my goodness!” I gasped. “I’m sorry. I
don’t know how to stop.”

“I don’t imagine you would,” he said. “It’s
quite alright. I understand. But you’re going to have to learn how
to control it, or you’re going to cause a lot of damage to a lot of
lives.”

Something lurched inside my stomach, and I
suddenly felt very ill.

“Alice? Are you alright?” Father Jacobs
asked. “You look pale.”

“I… I’m fine,” I stammered. “It’s just… does
that mean the people I thought were in love with me… they’re just…
charmed?”

“No, not necessarily, Alice,” he answered.
“Some of them may have real feelings for you. But it’s likely those
feelings began because of your ability to charm them.”

Although I was devastated to learn I’d been
inadvertently charming people into loving me, I was also relieved
to finally understand what had been happening to me.

“This explains
so
much,” I admitted.
“You have no idea. I’ve had people falling in love with me after
knowing me for no time at all, and I couldn’t understand why. It
didn’t make sense. At least now I know why.”

“But I’m guessing this isn’t entirely good
news for you,” Father Jacobs mused.

“Not really. I’m glad to understand this,
don’t get me wrong. But…”

“But you’re worried that no one really loves
you because of
you
, right?”

“Exactly,” I said, exhaling in relief because
he understood.

“I think it’s going to be vitally important
for you to learn how to control this ability. Until you do, you’re
never going to know for sure how people really feel about you.”

“Does Alexi know?” I asked him.

“No. That’s why I sent him from the room. I
didn’t think this was something you’d want him to hear. It might be
something you would want to tell him yourself. Or not.”

“I don’t know who to tell, honestly. Maybe no
one. I don’t know.”

“You’ll have to tell someone. You will need
help learning how to control it. I don’t think you’ll be able to
learn that on your own.”

“I’ll have to manage… at least for now.”

“Well, for now, there’s something more
pressing at hand. Alexi!” he called.

Alexi instantly opened the door and breezed
into the room.

“Alexi,” Father Jacobs said. “I’ve finished
my assessment of young Alice. I need to make some calls in order to
get her the help she needs.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Alexi said. “You may
use my telephone.”

Alexi motioned to the phone on his desk.

“Alice, it’s been a pleasure meeting you,”
Father Jacobs told me.

“It’s been my pleasure,” I said. “And thank
you.”

“Of course,” he returned, with a bow of his
head.

I stood up and glanced at Alexi, who was
standing sideways beside the door. Obviously, he was stepping aside
to allow me to exit the room. I did so, and he followed, closing
the door behind him to allow Father Jacobs some privacy to make his
calls.

“Alexi, there’s something I think I need to
tell you,” I said solemnly.

“If it was something you and Father Jacobs
discussed, you do not have to discuss it with me if you would
prefer not to,” Alexi said.

I sighed. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone. I
knew I would have to at some point, but I had too much going on in
my life to deal with that on top of everything else.

“We’ll talk later,” I told him.

“As you wish,” he said.

“I think I’m just going to go lie down in my
room, if that’s alright.”

“Of course,” Alexi said. “I will escort you
there.”

“That’s really not necessary.”

“I insist.”

“Fine,” I groaned.

Alexi walked me to my door. I thought he
might follow me inside, but he actually let me go in and close the
door behind me. I figured he’d be right outside the door, guarding
over me like I was a prisoner.

I flopped down on my bed and threw my arm
over my eyes. I was so frustrated with everything. Adding this
complication on top of everything else was more than I thought I
could deal with. To top it off, we had no idea when Dmitri might
show up.

I thought I should stay awake, so I could be
prepared in case he showed up. Then I figured I should sleep,
because I didn’t want to be exhausted if we had to fight. Pretty
soon, exhaustion won, and I drifted to sleep.

I don’t know how long I was out, but at some
point I woke up with my stomach rumbling. This time, it wasn’t
human food I was interested in. I realized I hadn’t fed in a very
long time. I went to find Alexi to tell him I needed to feed.

As I walked down the hall, I heard voices
inside a room. It sounded like an argument, and I crept closer to
the door so I could hear what was happening. My breath was ragged
and anxious as I listened at the door. It was barely cracked, but I
could see Alexi and Liam inside having a heated discussion. I
strained to hear their conversation.

“I just have to leave,” Liam said. “Now.”

“Why, Liam?” Alexi questioned. “Why now? Why
so suddenly?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Alexi,” Liam
responded.

“Why not? Liam, I am your brother. Just tell
me what is going on!”

Liam paced anxiously back and forth, and
Alexi followed him.

“I can’t!”

“If something is going on, just tell me!
Maybe I can help,” Alexi pleaded.

“Not with this,” Liam said, shaking his head
somberly.

“Damn it, Liam!” Alexi shouted, grabbing his
brother firmly by the shoulders. “Let me help you! Tell me what is
wrong!”

“I love her,” Liam said quietly.

I covered my mouth to suppress a gasp, and my
eyes widened. After a pause, Alexi’s arms dropped. I could see his
jaw clench.

“I didn’t want to tell you,” Liam told Alexi.
“I
told
you I didn’t want to.”

“Get out,” Alexi growled through gritted
teeth.

“That’s what I’m
trying
to do,” Liam
agreed.

“Now,” Alexi demanded.

“I’m sorry, Alexi,” Liam said. “I never meant
for this to happen. That’s why I have to get out of here.”

“Have you told her?” Alexi snarled.

“Of course not,” Liam said. “I don’t want to
complicate things for her further. She has enough to deal with
already. And, of course, I wouldn’t do that to you, Alexi. You know
that.”

“I do not know
anything
, anymore,”
Alexi sighed.

“I’m going to leave,” Liam told him. “And I’m
not coming back. I can’t be around her, and I’m not trying to mess
things up for you.”

“But you love her,” Alexi said.

“Yes, which is why I’m leaving. I know
telling her would only hurt her… and you. No good would come of
it.”

“Alice?” I heard Kai’s voice in the hallway
behind me.