Betrayal (12 page)

“Well, there is a mandatory two week suspension period.”

“Wave it,” the president replied.

“Sir, I thought that with….”

President Strickland licked his lips and considered the man before him. “There are times to think Assistant Director and there are times to act. Begin the process. I want Alexis Toles reinstated by the end of the week.”

“And what would you like me to do about her transfer?” Tate asked.

“I don’t think that will be a concern for you,” Strickland said.

“Why is that?” Tate asked curiously.

“I have it on good authority that your agent will be returning to her roots.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She’s going back to the NSA, Joshua,” the president explained.

“How could you….”

The president laughed. “Joshua. Think.”

“And you
want
her to go back to the NSA?” Tate was confused.

“More control at the NSA. More military presence, so the answer is yes, I do.”

“No disrespect, Sir, but…May I speak freely?”

“You may,” Strickland replied.

“President Merrow considered Michael Taylor and Alexis Toles a dangerous combination for some reason.”

“I am aware,” Strickland said. “They are, from what I understand.” Joshua Tate’s eyes conveyed all of his questions. “I have put a piece in play. A new pawn to move across the board. I suspect that attention will be focused in that direction shortly,” the president offered with satisfaction.

“A smoke screen?”

“Not exactly, no. A person that Alex Toles will want to follow and a different direction to lead her; at least for now. A direction that will keep them occupied while matters are settled,” Strickland explained.

“You are the Commander in Chief,” Tate responded indicating that he would comply.

“Yes,” Strickland gloated. “I am.”

“Hey, feel better?” Alex asked as Cassidy walked toward her.

“I do, actually.”

The fire was already crackling and Alex had placed some pillows on the floor against the couch for the pair to comfortably sit together. Cassidy plopped down onto the floor and closed her eyes momentarily as she stretched out. As she opened them, she caught sight of Alex making her way over and marveled at the way the glow of the fire highlighted the agent’s skin and hair. Alexis Toles was nothing short of a breathtaking sight. Cassidy smiled at the realization that her lover was every bit as
beautiful in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and she had been earlier in her uniform. “What are you smiling at?” Alex asked.

“Nothing, really,” Cassidy said. “I’m just glad to relax, and you know I am curious what this is all about,” she raised her brow.

“You? Curious?” Alex joked. The teacher’s response was a light slap of the agent’s thigh. “It’s been a hell of a few weeks, Cass.” Cassidy sighed. “I mean…it feels like years some days, you know?’

“I do,” Cassidy admitted. Alex rubbed her temple and closed her eyes. “Alex, maybe we should just relax. Just enjoy the fire and rest. We don’t have to talk about anything tonight.”

“No, we do,” Alex said seriously and instantly noted the fear on Cassidy’s face. The agent chuckled and released the pressure on her temple. “No, Cass, it’s nothing bad…well, I mean I don’t think it’s bad…it’s just…well…you know Dylan and…. well… after John and then the….”

“Alex?” The agent looked at her lover a bit sheepishly. “Rambling,” Cassidy smiled.

“Sorry,” the agent chuckled. “I guess I don’t know how to start.”

“Why don’t you just start and see what happens?”

“My parents have a condo in Florida. I was thinking, you know…when school is out. Well, maybe we could go down and spend a few days. Get away. Go to some of the parks. I don’t know.”

“Alex? You wanted to talk to me about taking a vacation?” Cassidy asked.

“No. Well, yes.” Cassidy cocked her head and opened her eyes a little wider, questioning what Alex was driving at. The agent sighed. “Yes. I thought it would be good for all of us.”

“It would be. I agree.” The teacher looked at her lover, sensing that something else was behind all of this.

“Okay. Cass, you know how you told me you want to have more kids?” Cassidy nodded. “Well….I don’t know if I…”

“Alex…”

Alex immediately stopped Cassidy’s thought. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot the last few days.”

“About?” Cassidy questioned.

“About you and me and Dylan, about us having our own family.” Alex paused and closed her eyes. “Actually, I can’t seem to stop thinking about it.” Cassidy studied the agent as Alex’s stress visibly increased. “What if I am no good, Cass?”

“No good?”

“Yeah, as a parent.”

“Alex, I have to confess I am a little lost. We just went from vacation to parenting,” Cassidy said gently.

The agent let out a nervous chuckle. “I have to ask my parents, Cass, to use the condo.”

“Okay….”

“I don’t really talk to them often,” Alex explained.

“I sort of gathered that.”

“Just, they never really approved…of my choices in life,” the agent explained.

“Which choices?”

“All of them,” Alex said as her fingers began to instinctively rub her temples.

“Alex, we don’t have to go anywhere. If you aren’t comfortable…”

“No, Cass. I want you to meet them. I want you to…No, I need them to know.”

“To know what?”

“To know that I have a family,” Alex said quietly.

Cassidy let out a soft sigh. “What are you trying to say, Alex?”

The agent nodded and took Cassidy’s glass away, setting both aside and taking hold of her hands. “I want you to know who I am and why. I was hoping we could go see my parents next weekend. Nick and Barb want to give them their news about the baby and well, they’ve seen us. I can’t just pretend…”

“Alex, this is all about me meeting your parents?” Cassidy asked.

“It’s not easy for me, Cass,” Alex admitted. “I don’t ever want to be them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean; what if I am like them? As a parent?”

Cassidy nodded her very basic understanding. This was the first time Alex had ventured into a discussion about her parents and even now it was somewhat cryptic. What was clear to Cassidy was the anxiety the topic caused for her lover. Working with children for so many years, it was a reaction she had grown familiar with. It generally signaled some type of abuse or neglect, or at the very least a restrictive upbringing. Cassidy had feared that for Dylan with all of Chris’s preconceptions about the boy’s future. It had been a major factor in her decision to leave the congressman. Listening to Alex now, Cassidy needed few details to understand that her lover’s childhood had not been a happy and harmonious one.

Cassidy remained a bit unclear on where Alex was attempting to head with the discussion. She did understand that she needed to calm any doubts the agent had about Cassidy’s ability to handle meeting Mr. and Mrs. Toles. And, she needed to quell the lingering fear Alex was confronting about her ability to be a good parent. “Alex, can I say something here?” The agent nodded silently. “I don’t know what it was like for you with your parents. If you are worried about me, I mean what they might say or do; don’t be. You are not your parents; none of us are.” Alex started to open her mouth to speak and Cassidy cautioned her with just a glance. “Let me finish. I watch you with Dylan. I watch him with you. I have seen you and Nick chasing after those two little boys…Alex, I saw Stephanie Merrow light up when she saw you. Whatever it is that you are afraid of, I think you can rest easy about how you are with children.”

“Yeah, but Cass, I haven’t raised any of them. Cat is Nick’s and Stephanie and Alexandra, I mean they were older when I met them. And Dylan, you have raised…”

“I know all of that, Alex. Don’t you think I worry about whether I am a good mother?”

“Why on earth would you worry about that?” Alex asked genuinely.

“Why? Oh, I don’t know. I raised my son for six years with a man that I couldn’t understand and didn’t agree with on anything; a man that isn’t even his real father. God. Alex, what kind of person does that make
me
?”

“Cassidy, you are the best person I know and you are a wonderful mother. I don’t think there is anyone that would disagree with that.”

Cassidy let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Yeah, well Dylan might disagree one day.”

“No.”

Cassidy sighed. “The point is that I understand why you feel that way. I think you are a wonderful parent, Alex. Dylan adores you. I still am a little confused though, about…”

Alex smiled. “Seeing my parents, taking you there…it’s just, well, all these things that…I…I need to do that before I can think about all of these things I can’t stop thinking about.”

Cassidy couldn’t help but laugh. One of the most endearing things about this wonderfully strong woman that she loved was how Alex’s confident demeanor could turn to an almost incoherent diatribe when she got nervous. “Alex, what exactly are you talking about?”

The agent took a deep breath and let it out with some force. “I’m saying,” she stopped and repeated the same action. “I am saying that I want to have a family with you, Cassidy.”

The teacher swallowed hard and put her hands on the agent’s cheeks. “I want that too.”

“It scares me.”

“I know,” Cassidy said. “It’s not like it has to happen tomorrow, Alex.”

“You might change your mind after next weekend.”

The teacher pursed her lips and then kissed the agent’s cheek. “You have endured my mother almost daily and you still want to have a family with
me
?”

“I love your mother.”

Cassidy’s snickered. “Uh-huh. So do I, but she can definitely be…”

“A handful?” Alex joked.

“To put it mildly,” Cassidy agreed. “I didn’t fall in love with your family, Alex. I fell in love with you, though I do love Nick and Barb and so does my mother. Stop worrying.”

“You know, I was watching Dylan today in that cockpit,” Alex began. “And, I wished I could have seen him when he was a baby. It was strange. I just…I felt like he was…”

“Yours?” Cassidy raised an eyebrow. Alex nodded. “Well, I think he feels the same way.” Alex smiled and Cassidy laid her head in the agent’s lap, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath. “Alex, I wouldn’t want to raise him with anyone else.” Cassidy felt soft lips brush against her own. “This was what you wanted to tell me?”

“Well…” Alex chuckled.

“Hum. Can I ask you something?”

“What?” the agent asked.

“What made you start thinking about this?”

“I don’t know, everything. I mean, when I was working at the house, painting Dylan’s room, I kept thinking about it. But, well,” Alex hesitated.

“Go on,” Cassidy said enjoying the feel of Alex’s hand running through her hair.

“When I came home the other day? After Jane called?”

“Yeah?”

“You handed me those papers; remember?” Alex asked.

Cassidy chuckled. “The school forms?” she asked with surprise.

“Yeah.” Cassidy smiled and opened her eyes. “What?” Alex asked. “Ever since then, I don’t know, I just keep thinking about us…about you. And I want to…”

“I understand,” Cassidy said.

“All this craziness that’s been happening. My job will always be crazy. I want to do the boring stuff, Cassidy.”

“Well good. You can start with the bathroom sink next to Dylan’s room when we get home.”

“What?” the agent asked.

“Yeah, I think he might have shoved something in it.”

Alex started laughing. “Always looking out for me; aren’t you Cass?”

Cassidy smiled and closed her eyes again. “Oh, and he wants to play soccer. That boy two houses down…Jason? Yeah, he’s convinced Dylan that is the coolest thing. Sign-ups are Wednesday and Thursday at the school. So feel free to wait in
that
line.”

“Okay,” Alex said without any hesitation.

“Yeah? Good,” Cassidy smirked. “Because on Friday we need to go meet with his new teacher.” She opened her eyes slightly to see Alex’s mouth open a little wider and then shut again. Cassidy flashed a bright smile. “Still think you want to have more?”

“Are you trying to scare me?”

“No. You wanted boring.”

“Cassidy, life with you is anything but boring,” Alex laughed.

“Wait for doctor’s appointments and waiting rooms and…” the teacher’s list was interrupted by a kiss.

“I look forward to it.”

“I love you, Alex, but trust me I think you underestimate the craziness in the boring,” Cassidy said.

“Maybe. I’m good at multitasking.”

“Must be the butler in you,” Cassidy poked.

“Yeah, must be.” Alex leaned over and kissed the woman on her lap. “Thank you.” Cassidy looked inquisitively into the blue eyes above her. “I don’t know if I could have gotten through today without you,” Alex confessed.

“Well, I could say the same thing.” Cassidy shook her head slightly. “I’m sorry, Alex, about John. I know that you loved him.”

“I just wish I knew what he was trying to tell me.”

“Well, you’ll figure it out,” Cassidy said with confidence.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I know you, Alex. You will. Just promise me you will be careful,” Cassidy said, the fear in her voice unmistakable. “I don’t want to lose you when I just found you.”