Betrayal (11 page)

It’s funny how you can think you’re about as angry as possible about something, and then something else happens to show you just how much more angry you can get.  The sound of Denise’s name rolling off the tongue of that woman gave me that particular feeling.  I had been angry at Chase about the house and his lies, but then finding out that his bitch of an ex was involved just made it that much worse.

What burns me even more was being forced to sit in the limousine with Chase as it slowly makes its way through midday Vegas traffic, back to his hotel room where the very last of my belongings are.  I’ve already lost most of what I arrived in this city with, thanks to Harrison’s betrayal — he took that bag back with him to Toronto - and I’m not willing to be reduced to the clothes on my back once again because Chase is a liar as well.  Even though most of the clothes I have back at his place are ones he’s bought for me.  Fuck him, I’m taking them with me anyway.  Not that I have a clue where I’m going to go.

“Lila, can we please just talk about this?”

I continue to stare out the window.

“Okay, well I’m just going to talk then, and you can listen.”  He pauses, but when he gets no response from me he continues.  “The whole thing with the house… it was supposed to be a simple little thing that got away from me.  You were asking to see it, adamant, even, and the reality was I had nothing to show you.  My lifestyle, it doesn’t require having a home.  I mean, in the past I’ve had one, but then I realized that I just didn’t need it.  It didn’t make sense.  So I basically just started living in hotel rooms.”

Despite myself, I can’t keep quiet.  “I asked you the first night we were together whether you lived in that hotel room, you said no.”

“Because I don’t.  I don’t live in any particular room.  Each time I go somewhere else I check out, and when I come back to Vegas I check back in.  Sometimes I get that room, sometimes I get a different one.  There’s no point in paying for it if I’m not there, despite the favorable rate they give me.”  When I raise my eyebrow, he explains.  “Vegas is notorious for comping gamblers things like drinks, meals, or even rooms in order to get them to come to their hotel and lose money at their casino.  With me it’s a little different, since I play poker against other players, not the house.  I don’t lose money to them.  Still, because of my… because I’m on television and I have a certain amount of recognition, they like me to stay at their hotel.  For the fans.  Because of that, I pay a lot less per night than the posted rate.”

“So famous people get money and stuff thrown at them, that’s what you’re saying.  The rich get richer.  Got it.  What’s that got to do with Denise and your lies?”

Chase lets out a heavy sigh but doesn’t respond to my taunt.  “Anyway, it seemed obvious to me that you put a lot of value in a home.  It didn’t make sense to you that someone would live in hotels.  I guess I wanted to impress you.”

“With what?  A big house?  You thought that would impress me?”

Chase shrugs, looking down and breaking my hard stare.  “Denise is a real estate agent.  She deals primarily in big, expensive houses.  I asked her to find me a house that was on the market that didn’t have any personal stuff in it, so that I can pretend like it was mine and impress you.  Not with how fancy it was.  I know the money doesn’t impress you.  I only thought it should be big because I thought you’d expect that of someone like me.  But the point was more about the stability.”

“What?”  I’m confused.

“Lila, I’m used to people knowing who I am.  I’m not trying to sound conceited, but especially in Vegas I’m usually recognized.  When I met you, you had no idea who I was.  That was a breath of fresh air, to be honest.  But at the same time, because of how things ended with Harrison, you seemed to have a pretty dim view of guys who gamble in general.”  He looks back up at me and when he sees my glare hasn’t disappeared, he adds, “Maybe you still do.”

I continue to wait silently, watching him with pursed lips as he flounders through his explanation. 

“Anyway, I guess it seems stupid now, but I thought that if I had a house you wouldn’t think that I was just some degenerate gambler who was at risk of losing everything on the roll of the dice, but would think I had more stability in my life because I had a place of my own.  When I first set things up with Denise, I just thought it would be a onetime thing.  I thought you and I were just having a fling, and I’d take you to this house and prove that not all gamblers were like your ex, and  eventually we’d end up going our separate ways.  But something happened in between when I set it all up and when we actually got to the house.”

“What was that?”

“I started to fall for you.”  He says it quietly, but he lifts his head to look at me again.

I let out a slow breath, shaking my head slowly.  Lies, lies, lies.  You can’t build a relationship on a foundation of lies.  My heart is fighting with my head, but I’m careful to keep the frown on my face.  Lying comes so easily to Chase.  How do I know what is real and what isn’t?

“After we left the house I realized that I didn’t want you to leave, but when you agreed to stay I realized I had put myself in a position where I had to maintain a story that I thought was only going to be a onetime thing.  So I had to keep making appointments to see it.”

“And then you just went and bought it?  To what, keep the lie going forever?”

“The reason I don’t have a place I call home now is because I didn’t have anyone to live there with me.  What good is a big house all to myself?  But over this last week I’ve started to be able to envision a time where maybe that will no longer be the case.  I decided I was being short sighted in not having a house.  So I bought it.  That was the real reason I met with Denise secretly yesterday.  I was signing the papers.”

“There are still too many lies,” I say, turning back away from him to stare out the window again.  I hear him sigh and lean back, the leather of the seats creaking against his weight.

The strip speeds by now that traffic has picked up.  The neon lights of Vegas seemed washed out against the midday sun, their glamor and glitz less impressive when they aren’t contrasted against the backdrop of a darkened night.  Everything in Vegas is designed, on some level, to fool people.  To make them hand over whatever is most important to them, and to do it with a smile on their faces.  Chase is no exception.  He is Vegas, putting on a show for me, the tourist.  He shows me what he thinks I want to see in order to get me to give him whatever it is he wants.  And like every fool who has ever flown here thinking he was going to beat the house, I fell for it.

It’s time this tourist takes what little is left in her pockets and goes home. 

The airport is busy, but I only have a carry-on bag that I was able to shove all of my clothes into so it’s easy to navigate my way through the crowds.  Memories of my final conversation back at Chase’s hotel room are echoing through my head as I walk.  They’re too fresh to ignore, but hopefully time will let them fade.

“Please don’t go,” Chase had pleaded.  For the first time I think I saw a glimmer of feeling cross his face, but for all I knew he could plaster that on just as easily as keeping it off.

“I wasted so much time with Harrison and his lies,” I said, shaking my head.  “I don’t want to waste any more on yours.”

“I only kept quiet about the house because I was falling for you.  I thought it would make being with someone like me more acceptable after Harrison.”

“Don’t you see why that doesn’t make it any better?” I argued.  “You lied to trick me into thinking you’re somebody you’re not.  How do we base a relationship on that?”

“No, no, no,” he protested.  “You don’t understand.  I wasn’t trying to trick you.  I am that person.  I want stability and a home.  I just haven’t been in a relationship where anyone mattered to me.  Until now.  But you were so against me being a gambler, I just wanted to prove to you that I was more than that…”

“With a lie.  And worst of all, you included Denise in it.  She knew that you were lying to me, she was helping you.”

“Lila-”

It was at that point that I walked out of his hotel room, slamming the door behind me and catching a cab to the airport.  I knew his driver would have taken me, but I’d taken enough handouts from Chase Anderson.  This plane ticket is the last thing I’m going to accept, and only because I have no other choice.  First thing I need to do when I get home is find a job. 

After a good long cry.

I know it’s coming.  I’ve been swallowing back a sob ever since the ride back to his hotel when I had first decided to go home.  My chest is heavy, and I feel stupid.  Not just because I let yet another man lie to me, but that I fell so hard and so fast for Chase.  It’s only been a week, and yet the feelings I have for him feel almost stronger than what I felt for Harrison after months.  I let myself get distracted by a week of fun, my worries left behind in another country, gathering dust as they waited for me to come back to reality.  Maybe in the back of my mind I had hoped I’d never have to go back to them.  That Chase would be my knight in shining armor who would keep me from ever having to face my problems again.  That’s why I feel stupid.  The fairy tale always ends.

The best thing I can do is learn from my mistake this time, since I didn’t learn from it after Harrison.  So as soon as I get to my gate and sit down to wait for boarding, I pull my phone out and shuffle through the settings until I figure out how to block a number.  I’m not letting Chase hound me the way Harrison did.  It just makes things harder.  If I end things with a clean break, it’ll be easier.

My chest heaves again and I can feel the sting of tears in my eyes, but I’m able to blink them back again.  Get a hold of yourself, Lila.  You’ve only known him a week.

Not like Denise.  How long has he known her?  Long enough to include her in his plans to dupe me.  And I bet that bitch loved going along with it.  How could he not see her for who she truly is?  Love is blind, so does that mean he still loves her?  If he does, he really isn’t the man I thought he was and it’s a good thing I’m getting away.  Including her in his plan to fool me makes the whole thing so much worse.  I could have almost forgiven him for the house, if she hadn’t been involved.  Now I just feel like a total fool.

I scroll through my phone as a distraction and come across Evelyn’s texts from the other day.  I never did call her back to hear her news.  I’ve been a shitty friend and roommate to her this week, so wrapped up in the wild ride I was on with Chase that I didn’t even care about what’s going on in her life  The fact that she hasn’t sent me anything since tells me that she’s likely pissed.  I consider calling her back now, but I’m worried I’ll end up breaking down and crying in the middle of the airport as soon as she asks about Chase.  I’m sure we can both wait a few more hours.  I’ll be home after dinner, and hopefully she’ll be up for staying in with a bottle of wine.

I quickly fire off a text to let her know I’m coming.

10:51 AM Lila: Hey Eve, I’m coming home tonight.  I should be home a little after 8. You have plans?

There’s no response for a few minutes, so I sit and watch the people around me, waiting for their flight.  Most of the faces look tired, depressed.  I imagine Vegas does that to a lot of people.  Sucks them dry of everything they came with and then spits them back home when there’s nothing left.  For most, they got off lucky where all they lost was some money.  I can’t help but feeling I lost a lot more. 

It was only a week, I remind myself again.  Stop being so melodramatic.

My phone buzzes with a new message. 

10:58 AM Evelyn: Wow, look who it is.  I wasn’t sure I’d ever hear from you again.

Yep.  She’s pissed.

10:59 AM Lila: I’m so sorry for being a shitty friend lately.  Can we stay in and split a bottle of wine tonight?

She makes me wait for a response again.

11:05 AM Evelyn: I just checked twitter.  I’ll buy a couple bottles.

I haven’t a clue what she’s talking about so I flip over to my twitter app.  It’s still on Chase’s profile, and his latest tweet is only about 30 minutes old.

Chase Anderson @chaseanderson - 31m

People who say you should live life without regrets must never have hurt someone who meant everything to them…

I switch back to my messages and type one last one.

11:08 AM Lila: Maybe get 3.  I’ll see you soon and thx

I have to wipe the screen before I can hit send, my tears have splattered against the glass.  So much for waiting until I get home.  It’s going to be a long flight.

“Okay, so hold on, Harrison actually said that?  Like, he actually said he was willing to gamble your entire relationship on his poker hand?”

“Yes.”  I wasn’t sure how I would feel talking about it, but I’m surprisingly numb to Harrison’s betrayal at this point.  It’s only been a week but it feels like a lifetime ago.  Fresher memories of Chase have pushed all of that old pain aside and replaced it with fresh wounds. 

“Wow.  What did he have?”

“What do you mean?”

“His cards.  How good was his hand?”

I glance up to Evelyn to make sure she’s joking and then we both burst out laughing.  It’s good to laugh about it now, although we’ve already gone through most of the first bottle of wine while I cried right after getting home, so that has definitely helped.  Still, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to see the humor in the Harrison situation.

“I have no idea but it wasn’t good enough.  Although Harry sure seemed shocked that he lost.”

“Okay,” Evelyn says slowly.  “So let me see if I understand.  Harrison plays poker against one of the best poker players in the world and puts up his girlfriend as collateral.  And then he’s surprised when he loses?  Hell, Lila, I’m sorry.  If I’d had known how much of an idiot Harrison was I would have never introduced you two.”

I just shrug.  “We had some good times.  Live and learn.”

“I guess.  But…” Evelyn pauses now as she looks at me with a raised eyebrow, as if unsure about her next words.  “You know it’s not like that bet was binding, right?  You didn’t actually have to go with Chase…”

I swat her on the arm, hoping she doesn’t really think I’m that naive.  “Yes, I’m quite aware.”

“Okay, okay,” she says, raising her hands before grabbing the bottle and refilling both of our glasses.  “Just making sure.  So… then I guess you left with Chase because you’re just a dirty slut?”

This time I hit her even harder and we both almost topple over with laughter. 

“I mean, I totally understand it if that’s the case.  That man is so fucking hot.”

“I honestly had no intention of sleeping with him.  I just wanted to piss Harrison off, and I knew leaving with Chase would be the best way to do that.  I had no idea who he was at the time.”  I pause for a minute, reflecting as the smile fades from my lips.  “I guess I still don’t.”

Evelyn sighs as she brings her glass to her lips and takes a big swallow.  She knows most of what happened between Chase and me, as much as she could gather from me between my initial sobs.  At the very least, she knows he hurt me.

“So Chase lied about owning a house because he wanted you to like him, is that right?”

I shake my head.  “It’s not that simple.”

“What else did he lie about?”

“Denise.  He had an ex-girlfriend that he still talks to, a complete bitch.”

“And he’s still sleeping with her?”

“What?  No!” I almost spit the word out, almost offended by the notion.

“Okay…” She’s speaking slowly again, as if trying to work something out with a child.  “So he has an ex-girlfriend.  You have an ex-boyfriend who, newsflash, is also a big asshole.”

“It’s not just that, he lied about her.”

“Oh.  What did he say?”

I think back for a moment as I try to remember what exactly he had lied about in regards to Denise.  “He told me he was asking her about some jewellery for me to cover up a secret meeting he was having with her.”

“But not a secret meeting to have sex.”

“No!  She was his real estate agent and he was signing the papers for the house.”

“So it’s still the same lie, really.  It was still just to cover up the lie about the house.”

I purse my lips, unhappy with the way she’s turning this around.  “He never told me she was his real estate agent.”

“What did he say she did?”

I glare at Evelyn now.  “He didn’t ever tell me what she did.”

I can tell my best friend is keeping her face as innocent as possible as she looks at me.  “So, then he didn’t really lie about that, either?”

“It’s a lie of omission,” I protest with a pout as I throw back the last of the wine in my glass and grab one of the other bottles from the table next to us.

Evelyn takes a deep breath next to me and then settles back against the couch.  “Lila,” she says, resting her fingers lightly on my arm as if to comfort me, “you know I love you.  But I honestly think you’re over reacting to this whole thing.  I mean, unless you really just intend for Chase to be a rebound… but if that’s the case, I don’t know why he’s made you so upset.”

“No one intends for someone to be their rebound,” I argue.  My voice is hard, but quieter now.  I turn to look at Evelyn and she’s staring back at me with her wide hazel eyes that seem more brown than green today.  “He lied to me, Eve,” I say, hoping she’ll understand.  “Harrison lied.  I’m just tired of lies.”

“I know, hon,” she nods.  “I know.”

I can feel the tears burning at the edges of my eyes again as I lean against my roommate and she gives me a hug.

“I just worry that you’re letting your experience with Harrison influence what’s going on with Chase.  I get that he lied to you.  But is one lie always equal to another?  Do the sins of Chase equal the sins of Harrison simply because they’re both lies?”

“Shouldn’t they?”  I’m being stubborn now, annoyed at how logical Evelyn is sounding even though she should be just as drunk as I am by now.  But her glass is full and mine is empty.  I’m still holding the full bottle in my hand as I stare down at it, unwilling to meet her gaze.

“You tell me.  Harrison lied about things he was doing that he wanted to keep hidden because they were broken promises, they were negative and they were things he knew you didn’t approve of and he wasn’t willing to fix.  Chase lied about something that he was actively trying to fix because he was worried you’d judge him prematurely and he’d lose you.”

Evelyn has no right to be this logical when I’m trying to be upset.  I refill my glass and pick it up with a sigh.

“Whatever happened to What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas?” I ask, letting a little smile touch the edges of my lips in the hopes that she’ll take it as me admitting that maybe she’s got a bit of a point without me having to come right out and say it.

“That’s one way to go, if that’s what you want,” she smiles back.  She picks up her own glass and we both take a long drink.  Tonight isn’t a sipping night.

“I don’t know what I want,” I say softly, sinking into the couch and closing my eyes.  “In some ways I just want to forget everything that happened in Vegas after Harrison and just move on with my life.  But… Chase is a hard man to forget.”

“I can only imagine,” Evelyn replies.  “Which reminds me, you owe me some details on that.  Help me imagine.  I want to know everything about Chase.”

“I’ve told you most of it,” I reply, cracking my eyes to see my roommate grinning wildly at me.

“Not the good stuff,” she laughs.

I laugh back.  “I’ll need a few more drinks, but I’m sure you can convince me to spill the dirt.  Anyway, there’s no rush.  I’m back for good now.  We have all the time in the world to talk about Chase and his talents.  And make no mistake, he is talented.  And I’m not talking about poker.”

I laugh at my own joke but catch a look on Evelyn’s face that makes me pause.  The smile has faded from her lips as if something I’ve said has confused or upset her.  “What’s wrong?”

Evelyn shakes her head.  “Nothing.  Nothing.  We can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Um, we can talk about it tomorrow means it’s not nothing.  What?”

“Seriously, Lila, tonight is about you and your news.  We can talk about me tomorrow.”

My mind races back to the message she left me days ago.  The one I never returned.  “The text you sent me.  You said you have news about your job, is that it?  I’m so sorry for not getting back to you sooner, I was a shitty friend.”

“It’s fine, really.  You had a lot going on.  But let’s talk about it tomorrow, I don’t want to be a downer tonight.”

“Oh my god, did you get fired Evelyn?  Here I am going on about myself and-”

“No,” she reaches out and grabs my arm, giving it a little squeeze.  “I didn’t get fired Lila.”

Evelyn takes a deep breath, staring at me until I bug my eyes out and raise my brows to urge her on.  Finally she lets the breath out, followed quickly by one long run on sentence that takes me a moment to decipher before it all sinks in.

“I got a promotion, I’m going to be working as assistant to the CEO but I have to move to Chicago and I wanted to tell you but it all happened so suddenly and I’m actually leaving on Friday.”