Betrayal (7 page)

He moves us
further out into the sea to an area where we are shielded by rocks and replaces
his solid shaft with his fingers as he rocks into me until we both explode
sharing a moment that I will never forget.

I am wrapped
around him as we begin to bob back to shore, ‘so do you speak to your brother
now?’

‘We speak but
I guess we will never regain that trust, he betrayed me too’

‘Sure’ I agree
‘the baby, how old?’

‘Eight weeks’
he mumbles, ‘Daniel’ his eyes hold a faraway look as he gazes into the water,
an intenseness that sets his jaw twitching appears.

‘Sorry that
was insensitive of me’ I whisper my insides tingling with something I cannot
explain, oh yes that will be the guilt.

‘Not at all if
we are sharing then you should know’ his eyes return to me and he smiles
although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

‘So no other
relationships since?’ I probe attempting to move things along.

‘Not as such,
don’t get me wrong I am no monk’ he raises an eyebrow, ‘but nothing permanent’

‘No I imagine
especially in your line of work’ I feel a punch in my stomach at the thought of
Brad with another woman ‘I guess the models throw themselves at you regularly’
my eyes move down as I attempt to hide my jealousy.

‘They bore me
to tell you the truth the majority of them are shallow and fickle.  What about
you anyone since the idiot?’

‘No, I don’t
do casual…..well up until now’ I flush as I realize my words and he grins.

********

After our
conversation it feels as if we comprehend each other better as if we have established
a new level of intimacy that no one else is privy to.  We spend a huge amount
of time in each other’s arms exploring each other’s bodies and minds.  Brad was
so easy to be with he made no demands but was content just to be which was
extraordinary for me as I was of a similar character. 

Brad is
kissing up my body as I pant in the aftermath of my last orgasm.

‘Hmmm I could
spend twenty four hours solid enjoying your gorgeous body’ he whispers as his
teeth find my swollen nipple ‘and still not be sated’

‘Oh god, I
think you would kill me’ I gasp as I attempt to resettle my insides, I shove
him hard flipping him onto his back although I am well aware he has allowed me
to. He grins down at me as I straddle him linking my hands into his.

As I ride him
our eyes connect and the giggling halts, I grind slowly against him convinced I
have never and will under any circumstances ever feel this bond again with
another human being but am eternally grateful that I have experienced it once
in my life.

We enjoy a
couple of days out on tours during that last week but spent most of it either
on the Jet Ski’s or laying by the pool or in bed.  Courtney kindly allows us
space and spends most of her time with the American girls who she swears she is
visiting next year in their hometown of San Francisco.

As the last
day dawns my insides feel gnawed up with dread in more ways than one, I was
going to undoubtedly miss him we had grown so attached, inseparable even over the
past days.  The other obvious reason was the guilt of knowing that his baby
died and I was taking another away from him….well that is if I was indeed
pregnant.  If I wasn’t then I certainly had a problem as we had participated in
so much sex over the course of the past ten days.

I turn over
and the bed is empty beside me, my eyes locate the clock which informs me that
it is just after eight in the morning.  I frown before moving into the bathroom
and turning on the shower.  We had so little sleep last night aware that it was
our final hours, I soap up as I refuse to recognize the fact I am sad I am
leaving.  I am so busy at the shop at the moment I would normally be itching to
return and get back into the swing of things once again.

I towel dry my
hair as I stare into my reflection, I am as brown as a berry and my eyes are
alive for the first time in a long time.  I glance down at my breast to notice
a small mark above the nipple where Brad had bitten slightly harder than
normal.  My memory rewinds at the intensity of our lovemaking last night his eyes
transfixed on mine the whole time sending my body into melt down.  As if on cue
he appears at the doorway his handsome face smiling towards me, ‘good morning’
he mumbles at my reflection and I smile shyly towards him.  ‘That was some
night eh?’ his lips find my neck and kiss gently. 

I move my hand
up and thread my hand through his hair, ‘the best’ I whisper closing my eyes
against the emotion.

‘I brought
breakfast’ he mumbles into my ear.

‘Thank you’ I
smile emotionally up towards him.

‘It’s just
coffee and croissants’ he returns my smile.

‘Not for the
breakfast….’ I kiss him gently, ‘for everything, you are such a good man Brad
Thompson’

He gazes down
at me the smile disappearing from his face, ‘Maddie’ he murmurs ‘this doesn’t
have to be the end’

‘Yes Brad it
does’ I frown.

‘It doesn’t we
live in the same city for god sake we can see how things go’ he suggests.

‘Brad’ I warn
shaking my head ‘the reason this has been so special is because there has been
absolutely no pressure on us whatsoever to pretend it is anything other than
what it is.  Two screwed up people who found a connection without the stresses
and strains of everyday life.  I have had the absolute time of my life and I
will remember it always believe me but I will never trust again.  I would be a
nightmare girlfriend jealous every time some woman attempted to get her claws
into you.  We would destroy each other with our fuckedupness’ I smile resigned
to my theory.

‘We would have
fun trying’ he is attempting to lighten the atmosphere.

‘We most
certainly would’ I stroke his cheek affectionately realizing how easy it would
be to fall intensely in love with this man.

After
breakfast I leave Brad’s room with strict instructions not to wave me off
otherwise I may turn into a blubbering wreck.  Walking me to the door he
murmurs, ‘I am so honored to have met your acquaintance Maddison Connor’ and
kisses me gently on the nose, ‘take care of yourself sweetheart’  My stomach
drops at the endearment and I turn without looking back afraid he would see the
tears in my eyes.

The morning
flies and before we know it Courtney and I are in the reception area with our cases
beside us booking out of the hotel. 

‘Where’s
Brad?’ Courtney enquires gently, she has said very little since I returned to
our room, well Courtney’s room I having only slept in there for the first few
nights.

‘I told him
not to come down goodbyes are over-rated’ I lower my eyes and Courtney leaves
me be, she knows me too well.

********

Brad watches
her from afar as she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear in an anxious
gesture.  He is going to miss her, she is a total screw up but the pros would
surely outweigh the cons they are so great together.  She looks around as if to
search for him but he promised he wouldn’t do the whole waving off thing, she
appeared so delicate in his room as if she was going to cry at any moment and
he wasn’t good with emotional women.

His eyes move
over her tiny body and his insides churn shit what was happening to him?  She was
dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a white t-shirt nothing remotely sexy and
yet all he wanted to do was haul her over his shoulders and take her back to his
cave.  As he turns away he cannot evade the feeling that he is making a huge
mistake letting her go.

Life is a
little bit easier for Maddie when she returns home, she feels healed from the
last year’s events and all the dramas that have occurred since yet she carries
out her daily duties with an empty feeling inside as if she has left her purse
somewhere.

The night she
returned from her holiday she had laid in her bed and cried for the love she
lost in Brad, if only she had met him earlier on in her life they would have
been happily married with say four children and totally undamaged.  She prayed
that he had given her the gift of life not only to allow her to possess her own
family but because she would always have a reminder of him and their time
together.

She began to observe
her surroundings more than she did beforehand and notice people so she identified
that the holiday had been beneficial in a number of ways.  Customers that she
had been serving since the opening began to converse with her obviously feeling
comfortable now in her presence.

She pulled out
of the Notting Hill project deciding instead to look for a beach house near her
old family home in Cornwall to hopefully bring up her child by the water as her
parents did with her.

Although she
was convinced that she had been successful in becoming pregnant it wasn’t until
her head was down the toilet one morning six weeks later that she smiled and
rubbed at her abdomen.

‘Well hello
baby’ she murmured emotionally tears rolling down her cheeks. I have Brad’s
baby! 

Work was busy
so it took her another two weeks to visit her GP and get the pregnancy
confirmed and arrange her midwife appointment.  Her boobs were sore and swollen
and she was extremely tired not to mention how sick she was most mornings but
suffered through it smiling at the thought that she had her own family growing
deep inside of her.

********

Brad sat at
the dining table at Cameron and Lucy’s.

‘So how was
the holiday?’ Lucy enquires politely.

‘Great!’ I
mutter casually.

‘Haven’t you
been all around the Caribbean for the past six weeks?’ Cameron frowns.

‘Yes’

‘Then what’s
with the face?’ he chuckles.  Cameron and Brad were the best of friends now
despite their rocky start when Brad briefly dated Lucy during a break with
Cameron.

‘Come on Brad give?’
Lucy demands ruffling his hair as she places a plate in front of him.

‘Well there
was a woman’ he mutters grumpily.

Cameron laughs
hard clapping his hands together, ‘I knew it! I knew your day would come, come
on then it’s my turn to give you advice’ he pulls Lucy onto his lap and wraps
his arms around her possessively.  Lucy smiles in sympathy towards Brad drops a
kiss down on her husband’s head and taps for him to allow her up to serve the
dinner.

‘So you just
let her go?’ Lucy forks a mouthful of food into her mouth chewing thoughtfully.

‘She’s damaged
she told me herself’ I defend my actions.

‘Yes but if
you think there is something there is it not worth fighting for?’ she regards
her husband who smiles lovingly towards her.

‘I don’t know,
I haven’t felt like this before’ I place my fork down.

‘Was she hot?’
Cameron teases and Lucy glares at him.

 I roll my
eyes at him before answering ‘like Mount Etna my friend’ and he chuckles.

‘It’s great
Cam that you find so much humor in my heart ache’ I add, ‘I remember a time
where I had to assure you that your wife didn’t prefer me’

Lucy giggles,
‘seriously Brad do you remember what you said to me when Cameron was being an
idiot?  Go get him!  Well why don’t you practice what you preach?’

‘Because she
doesn’t want me….I suggested we carry on dating when we returned home and she
was adamant she doesn’t want a relationship.  She wants us to remember how good
we were together she thinks we will fuck each other up with our baggage’

‘What baggage
do you have?’ Lucy enquires curiously, ‘you never told me’ she frowns in
disappointment.

‘Well that is
because all you spoke about was this fella here’ I gesture to Cameron who grins
over towards his wife.

‘Remember how
Cameron managed to convince me to date him again?’ Lucy continues her eyes
serious.

‘He followed
you to and from work every day’ I shrug.

‘Yes, he never
gave up.  If something is worth having surely it’s worth a bit of hassle at the
beginning’

‘I would be
setting myself up for a fall’ I shake my head, ‘I assumed I would be able to
move on when she left and I flew to St. Lucia.  I purposely attempted to hook
up with someone to eliminate the memories but it felt as if I was cheating on
her…I couldn’t do more than flirt.  I no longer feel single does that make sense?’
I gaze at my friends across the table.

‘You
connected’ Lucy sighs holding her hand to her chest and I roll my eyes once
again towards Cameron ‘what the hell have you done to her?’ I ask.

‘Well
actually….’ Cameron grins, ‘we are pregnant!’

‘Congrats
mate’ Brad stands and shakes Cameron’s hand patting him on the back before
lifting his dear friend Lucy into a bear hug, ‘well done Lucy’

********

Nothing fits,
why does nothing fit?  By my dates I am between nine and eleven weeks pregnant
how can I be swelling already?  My lovely tan is a thing of the past I look
pasty and awful, my hair is lank and the new found sparkle in my eyes has
disappeared.  I have my first scan today and cannot do the buttons of my skinny
jeans up.  I yank them off and find a pair of looser ones and thrust my legs
through the faded denim.  Pulling over a cream blouse I brush my hair into a
bun and apply a considerable amount of makeup to brighten my dull face up.