Betrayal (30 page)

“Maybe it’s a lesson to me not to rely on anyone,” she said sadly. She had learned the hard way just how big a target she was and how naïve. “I guess it made me lazy about taking care of myself.” It felt good to realize now that she could fend for herself, although she had been thinking lately of getting a new assistant. Her life was too busy not to have one. But the thought of starting to look for someone else depressed her, especially after her experience with Brigitte.

“You have to trust someone in life,” he said, and she shook her head.

“Maybe not.” There were fewer and fewer people in her life now that she could trust. With her father gone, only Max, and she was very young. Tallie couldn’t lean on her and wouldn’t have wanted to, she was her child. But at a peer level, as an equal, she had no one, which made Jim’s gesture of friendship even more meaningful to her.

They reached the funeral home then. He parked in their lot, and
followed
her inside. He was wearing jeans and a T-shirt and running shoes, but he looked solemn and dignified. She was still wearing Max’s T-shirt, and shorts, and she didn’t care. What she cared about was what was in her heart, not on her back. That hadn’t changed. And Jim liked what was in her heart. She was a good woman, and he liked what he knew of her after their many conversations, time together, and everything he had learned in his investigation. He had come to respect her a great deal. She was nothing like the Hollywood film people he’d met before.

The funeral director on duty was helpful and polite. They looked at caskets and made plans. She selected a program that would be distributed by the ushers in church. And she had to pick a photograph of her father, but she already knew the one she wanted. She had to pick a suit for him to wear, buy a cemetery plot, write an obituary, pick music, speak to the church, and find a minister to do it. There were so many details to think about that her head spun.

She signed a series of forms, and an hour later they left, and Jim drove her to the cemetery, where they picked a peaceful spot under a tree and arranged to have her mother moved there afterward. Tallie bought four plots, to include herself and Max one day, which seemed awful, but she wanted to know that they’d all be together. She hated the things she had to plan now. Everything in her life was about loss and death at the moment. She couldn’t think of anything good that had happened in a long time. And afterward Jim took her to the Bel Air Presbyterian Church, to make arrangements with the pastor there. Jim spent the whole day with her. It was six o’clock when they got home, and she had to write the
obituary
that night. She was exhausted as they walked into the house, and she dropped her canvas plumber’s bag on the couch, and looked at Jim.

“Thank you. I could never have gotten through it without you.” He could see that she meant it, and her eyes looked huge in her face. If he had known her better, he would have put her to bed, but he didn’t, so he couldn’t suggest it. He made her a cup of tea instead and handed it to her, while she sat on the couch looking decimated. She smiled as she took it. It was exactly what Brigitte would have done. “I’m so sorry to eat up your whole day like this.”

“I have nothing to do this weekend,” he reassured her. “I’m happy to do it. Do you want me to go and get some groceries? You have nothing in your fridge again. Don’t you ever eat?” he scolded her, and she laughed.

“I just buy at the deli on the way home if I’m hungry. Hunt was the cook.”

“Well, maybe you should hire one. You’re going to starve otherwise. You never have any food here.” He was used to stocking a fridge for two growing boys. He couldn’t have fed a canary with hers. Their hamster ate more than she did.

“I hate having people around,” she said quietly. “I don’t like all that fuss. Or sitting down to dinner all by myself. I used to cook when Max was home, until Hunt moved in. He was such a good cook, that nobody ever wanted to eat my food again, not even me.” She smiled at Jim. “Do you cook?”

“Self-preservation. I had to feed the boys when Jeannie got sick, and then afterward. I’m better at barbecue, but I manage. I do really good takeout, mostly Chinese and pizza,” he said, and she
laughed.
“Why don’t I pick up something for you to eat tonight?” She looked blank as he said it. She wasn’t hungry and she hadn’t eaten all day.

“I don’t think I can eat,” she said honestly. “And I have to write that obit before tomorrow.” She needed to go to her father’s house to get the photograph of him for the program, but she didn’t have the heart to go tonight after what had happened there only that morning.

“You have to eat something,” Jim insisted.

“I’ll grab something later,” she said vaguely, and Jim laughed out loud.

“Yeah, like a lime. I’ve seen your fridge.” She laughed too.

He left a little while later, and she went to work on her father’s obituary. She was trying to remember all the important details of his life, and she kept thinking of Jim. He had been so kind to her all day, and she didn’t even know what to say to thank him. And at eight o’clock as she was writing furiously on her computer and moving things around, the doorbell rang, and he had sent her a whole Chinese dinner. There was enough for several people and leftovers the next day. She called to thank him, and he told her to be sure to eat it, and she promised she would. It was midnight when she finished her father’s obituary and was satisfied with it, and she ate the Chinese food then. She texted Jim her thanks again, and he didn’t respond so she assumed he was asleep.

She lay awake for a long time that night, thinking of her father and everything that had happened. And she still had to tell Max when she got back from her camping trip. Tallie was dreading that and knew what a loss it would be to her too. She adored him.

Jim called her the next day and asked how she was feeling. She thanked him for dinner again, and he asked if there was anything he could do to help her.

“I don’t think so. But thank you, Jim. You’ve been amazing.”

“Just call if you need me. And don’t forget to eat!”

She nibbled at the Chinese food that afternoon, and then went to her father’s to find the photograph, get him a suit to wear in his casket, with a tie, shirt, and shoes. The photograph she was using was of him in his fifties, when she was still very young. It was how she always remembered him, and she realized that she looked a lot the way he did when he was younger. She found a box of photographs of her mother too and decided to take them with her. She dropped off the suit at the funeral home, gave them the obit, and went home. And Max called her the moment she walked in the door.

“Hi, Mom. How was your weekend?” She sounded excited and happy and said she’d had fun with her friends. They’d gone rafting in New Hampshire.

“Mine wasn’t so great,” Tallie said with a sigh as she sat down, dreading what she had to say. “Max … it’s bad news.” She started to cry as she said it. “Grampa died yesterday. In his sleep. He didn’t suffer. He just drifted away.” Max burst into tears the minute she heard her mother’s words.

“Were you with him?” she asked through sobs.

“I was holding his hand,” her mother cried. “He told me he loved me, and then he fell asleep. We were in the garden, but he’d been very tired for the past few days.”

“Oh Mom … I’m so sorry … I’ll come home tomorrow.” It was
already
too late for her to catch a plane then, it was almost nine o’clock at night in New York. “I’ll catch the first plane tomorrow morning.” Tallie had already booked her a seat on it and told her what time it was.

“The funeral is on Tuesday.”

“Oh God … poor Grampa … and poor you …” Max was sorry she wasn’t there to put her arms around her. Her mother had been through so much. “Can I do anything to help with the funeral?”

“No, I took care of everything yesterday. It’s pretty much organized.” And the obituary going into the paper on Monday morning would tell everyone about the funeral on Tuesday, and there was visitation at the funeral home on Monday night. Interment would be private, like Hunt’s. Tallie didn’t want anyone at the graveside with them at the end, just she and Max. And she had realized that afternoon that people would want to come to her house after the funeral and burial. She could tell people about it at the church. She had to call a caterer in the morning, but she didn’t think she’d forgotten anything so far. She’d been very efficient.

She and Max talked for a while, and Max was arriving in L.A. at eleven o’clock. The time difference was in their favor coming west, and Tallie was relieved that they’d be together. It was too agonizing to face alone. It made her even more grateful that she’d had Jim with her the day before. It would have been infinitely harder without him. She didn’t mention it to Max, it didn’t seem important. But he called her that night to check on her.

“Did you tell your daughter?” He had been thinking of her all afternoon.

“I did,” Tallie said sadly.

“How is she?”

“Okay. Sad. Thank you for everything you’ve done, Jim.”

“Well, let me know if there’s anything else I can do. I’m just a phone call away.” She didn’t have the feeling that he was trying to take advantage of her, or the situation. He was just a kind man, who was trying to be a friend, and she was grateful.

Max was home the next day at noon, and she and her mother put their arms around each other and cried. Neither of them could imagine a life without Sam in it now. Tallie felt as though she and Max had been shipwrecked together, and were clinging to the wreckage and each other for dear life. All Tallie could hope was that they would reach safe harbor soon. She felt as though she had been out in the storms for too long. It had been months, but at least the grief she felt was pure, clean, and uncomplicated. No one had betrayed her, they hadn’t lied to her or cheated her, or stolen from her. She had just lost someone that she loved with her entire being. It was like having her heart sliced in two with a surgical knife. It was brutal.

Chapter 17

THE FUNERAL OF
Samuel Lewis Jones was elegant and solemn. Tallie thought he would have liked it. The flowers were white and looked lovely in the church, the casket was a dark mahogany, the church was full, and she had given the minister enough information about her father’s life that the eulogy was meaningful and moving.

And Tallie spoke briefly about the extraordinary man he was. All of his peers and close friends had died before him, so there was no one to speak of his distinguished career, his accomplishments, his victories, the kind of friend he was, and the kind of father, except her. But she did a good job. Most of the people who came were old clients of his, who had been much younger than he was, and were now older people, since he had retired ten years before. Some of the people Tallie did business with were there as well. She saw Victor Carson in a back pew, alone; her father’s beloved housekeeper Amelia was there; and so were a few of Tallie’s acquaintances and friends. It was a respectable showing for a remarkable
man
who had been much loved and greatly respected. And as she and Max walked out of the church holding hands with tears running down their cheeks, she looked up and saw Jim there, in a dark suit, and he nodded solemnly at her, and she nodded back.

They stood outside the church for a few minutes, and she invited people to come to the house later that afternoon. She invited Jim too, who said he didn’t want to intrude at such a delicate time.

“You won’t be. And at least you’ll get some decent food at my place for once,” she said in an undervoice, and he laughed and said he would come. He said a few words to Max too. And then she and Tallie left for the cemetery to say their last goodbyes to Sam. It was agonizing leaving him there, for both of them, and Tallie looked wrenched by it when they got back to the house. Several people were already there, and Max and Tallie moved among them, thanking people for coming. There were many Tallie didn’t know well, who had only known her father, but she’d been happy to see such a big turnout for him, and she thought he’d have been pleased.

Both Tallie and Max looked very serious in two black dresses Tallie had found in her closet. She felt like a scarecrow wearing hers, but she wanted to honor her father as was proper. And she looked beautiful anyway, even in the somber plain black dress, and Max looked pretty and young. People enjoyed meeting her, asked where she went to school, and what her major was, and she was proud to say she was going to be a lawyer like her grandfather. Tallie was proud of her too.

And Jim came about an hour after they got back from the cemetery. He had brought an armful of white roses, and asked one of
the
waiters from the caterer to put them in a vase. Tallie was touched by the gesture, and she and Max chatted with him for a few minutes, and then they had to greet other people arriving, and he talked to several people before he left discreetly a little while later.

Max commented on it that night, as she and Tallie were foraging in the fridge. “Jim really seems like a good guy, Mom.”

“He is. He helped me make all the arrangements on Saturday. He was a big help. I’ve never done anything like that without Brigitte.” But it had all gone very smoothly, and the caterer had provided a very nice spread at the house. Tallie had used them before.

“When’s Brig going to trial, Mom?” Max had lost track. They were sitting in the kitchen with their shoes off, eating leftovers. Talking about Jim had reminded her of it.