Betray The Bear (2 page)

“Everything.” Emotion jutted across the icy blue in his eyes
, and he leaned forward. “I want every fucking thing from you, Joanna.” His throat moved as he swallowed and seemed to try and gain control. He shook his head as if he were trying to clear it. “I loved you.”

She huffed the ghost of a laugh. “You don’t know what love is. You hurt me.”

“No, I tried to take care of you. I tried to make you my mate.”

“You hit me and then you chased me through the woods, Nathan. You were going to kill me.”

His breath froze, and he tilted his head like he was unsure if she were joking. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not playing whatever game you’re getting at.”

“When?” he asked, voice cracking. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “When did I hit you?”

Unbelievable. She stared at him with a
half-smile that said he was a complete douche-boob for trying this crap with her. “When you saw me escaping with Hannah. You were going to end me, Nathan. I saw it in your eyes. There was nothing there. No soul, no feeling, no recognition that what you were doing was wrong. You couldn’t have me, so no one could.”

“I don’t…I don’t remember that part.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m not saying I didn’t do it. Maybe I did, I don’t know. I just don’t remember. I remember…” His eyes looked a million miles away and his voice dipped to a ragged whisper. “I remember him cutting you, claiming you
, and I couldn’t get to you in time.”

“It’s what I wanted.”

“Are you still with him?”

“Of course I am.
Brody is my mate. For life, Nathan! It’s what I told you I wanted for two years and Brody gave that to me.”

“Come home, Joanna. I need you.” His voice sounded gruff and broken, and the tiniest bit of his hardened exterior
was showing tarnish and cracks.

She pulled her shirt to the side, revealing Brody’s
mark on her. “I am home.”

“I can’t stop a war if you stay. The only way I keep alpha is if I avenge your loss and annihilate Bear Valley.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she pleaded. “Just let me go.”

“It’s bigger than that now,” he yelled, slamming his fist on the table. His nostrils flared as he heaved breathe. He shot a warning glance over her shoulder and shook his head but when she turned around, it didn’t look like Riker or Blaine had moved. I
n a calmer tone, Nathan said, “We lost on our own territory to your betrayal. I was marred on my own land and had to bury nine of my men that day because of what you brought to us.”

“No. That was because of what you brought. You took Hannah, mistreated the mate of one of the most battle savvy alphas in the world. You have no one to blame but yourself.
”

“Please. You can still save me,” he said, and the brush of his fingertips touched her knee under the table.

She jerked back. “Don’t you touch me. No one can save you but you. I’m not your salvation or your cure. I was never yours and never will be.”

“Tell me what to do.” His eyes were wide and desperate and a little piece of her felt sorry for him. His bear was bloated with po
wer from running a clan without a council to keep him in check. Nathan was at war for his sanity now.

“Leave the Long Claws. Find a mate. A real one, not the three you screw to try and continue your line. Find someone to love you and love them back. Spend time away from the clan until your bear
settles. Run from being alpha, Nathan. Maybe this is what is supposed to happen. Your people are putting pressure on you to retaliate? You’ll kill so many, and then you’ll be doomed. How will you ever hope to be saved after a war like this?”

A slow, wicked smile crooked his lips
and the emotion drained from his eyes. “Run from alpha?” His voice sounded strange, inhuman. Power, like thunder rumbling through her body, filled the space in between them. “I’m born for alpha, mate.”

“I’m not your mate.”

“Eat your food!” he roared so loud she jumped.

He wouldn’t do this to her. She’d been cowed under him
for years, but not anymore. She was a Bear Valley shifter now and stronger than this. “You aren’t my alpha. Riker is, and thank God for that. He’s ten times the leader you could ever hope to be.”

“Come home with me now, Joanna, or so help me, I’ll drown those mountains in Bear Valley blood. You can save everyone. Just come home.”

She could end it all. There would be no war, no retaliation, no loss of life. There could be peace if only she could shut her heart down and live a cursed existence under Nathan’s rule. She’d known freedom though, and once uncaged, she couldn’t be confined again. “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t apologizing to him, but to all the people she would hurt with her selfish decision.

Standing, tears burned the backs of her eyes, but she blinked them back. Nathan didn’t deserve to see her so raw like this.
He’d only earned her frosty disdain.

“Do you love him?” The question sounded
strained coming from his tight lips.

She tilted her chin up proudly and let the truth infuse every word.
“With everything I am.”

His cheek twitched once and his eyes grew cold and empty once more.
“Then you and your new people will die for your love.”

Anya
Bure checked the mouth of the main road for the hundredth time in an hour. Nathan was due back anytime, and anticipation of hearing about his trip to visit Joanna had her clawing ruthlessly at the weeds in the gardens of the Long Claw Clan.

Two acres had been fenced in and the vegetables inside resembled a jungle with their towering plants. Most
days she hated working at the gardens. Nathan had given her the chore when she’d begged for a job to ease the boredom of waiting for him to need something from her. Instead of allowing her to clear pipes up in the mountain rivers for water power like she had requested, he let her pick weeds near his house. Today she was thankful for the assignment because from here, she had a great view of the road.

The churning of her emotions threatened to overwhelm her as she thought about Joanna. He’d gone into enemy territory alone just for the chance to see her again. Nathan didn’t know how to love, but if he did, Joanna would have his heart. A pang of jealousy stabbed through her and she wrapped her hands around a giant weed and yan
ked it from the earth.

Jealousy was a stupid emotion. That’s what she’d been taught since she was little. She was first mate of the alpha. Why couldn’t she just be happy with that?

Because of the others.

She straightened, stretching her aching back, and wiped perspiration from her forehead. She didn’t get jealous over his other mates, Greta and April, and she couldn’t figure out why. He was less tender with them perhaps, or didn’t seem to care as much. They were a business arrangement, and that important business was to bear him cubs someday.
But then Joanna had unintentionally turned his head.

Anya
didn’t even hate the woman. On the contrary, Joanna had been the closest person to a friend she’d had in a long time. She admired the woman for her strength to say no to Nathan where Anya had failed. Joanna had stayed aloof, even though Nathan pursued her with single-minded ambition.

Anya had fallen immediately for his promises and cunning bedroom manner.
Weak.

It was all a
bout sex with him. Perhaps she had mistaken that for love, but Joanna said things she couldn’t get out of her mind now. The woman had started an irreparable change in Anya, then left her to sort them out on her own. Now, she didn’t know if she could ever be happy with this life again.

A motor sounded from far off
, and she threw a silent thank you into the sky for her superior shifter hearing. Tidying her hair, she strode out of the gardens to get a better view of her mate’s arrival. Her mate? Why did that word leave a metallic taste in her mouth now? She’d never had trouble keeping up the farce before. Shaking her head, she tried to clear the unsettling thought. Nathan would know if she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to receive him.

Greta and April stepped up beside her. Greta twirled a blonde ringlet around her finger as if she were trying to perfect her already gorgeous locks, and April was smothering her lips in red lip gloss. Merit, the woman who would likely be Nathan’s fourth mate, used that color. She got most of his attention these days, and April had started dressing like her.
Anya felt bad for April’s insecurity. Pride had been the cost of their relationships with Nathan.

“Who d
o you think he’ll ask for first?” Merit wondered from behind. She stood leaned against the rough wooden fence that deterred bears from trampling their food supply. Her voice always sounded cruel, even if she seemed happy, and today was no different.

“Probably you,” Greta said, sounding defeated. Merit bullied her the most.

“Good girl,” Merit purred.

Anya felt like she was losing herself completely, and the first tendrils of bitterness curled around her
chest cavity. She’d been his first mate, and at the time he’d chosen her, she’d thought she would be his only one. With each addition to his harem, her heart broke a little more. Now, she didn’t feel much of anything anymore. Duty to her clan to continue Nathan’s line trumped all. What an empty existence.

A black SUV appeared at the edge of the woods and bounced forward until it came to a stop fifty yards
from them. Other members of the clan were gathering to greet their returned leader. Even with the strife Joanna’s escape and the battle with Bear Valley had caused, he was still beloved by most. The rest wanted him stripped of alpha, but Nathan was too strong. He was much too cruel now to be bullied from his rank. He would kill anyone who crossed him.

Would he kill me
if he found me inadequate?
The thought was an unwelcome fog that chilled her blood. She couldn’t be sure anymore. The loss of Joanna had done something awful to him. No, it was more than that. He’d been growing darker for the past year. Losing Joanna had only irritated whatever festering wound he was harboring in his mind.

He stepped from
the driver’s side of the SUV with a hard look about his features. No one could deny that he was an alluring and well sculpted man. That used to mean a lot to her when he’d first shown interest. He had fair blond hair and rippling muscle that covered his body. His sky blue eye color had been beautiful once, but now it was cold as ice. He didn’t look at her much anymore, and she swallowed hard as his gaze danced over her and landed on Merit.

Figured. Crossing her arms against a sudden chill on the breeze, she turned to go back to work.

“Anya,” Nathan said over the murmured welcomes of his clan.

She paused and turned, waited.

“You’ll go to my room and wait for me there,” he said in a deep, authoritative voice.

“Are you fucking serious?” Merit sounded completely offended.

He ghosted the vile woman behind her a hard look, then turned back to his new second-in-command, Brooks. Sometimes Anya thought Brooks, with his thoughtful gaze and quiet patience, would make a much better alpha than Nathan. He’d lost the last alpha challenge though, so that was that. The Long Claws were stuck with blood-thirsty, stubborn, domineering Nathan.

He didn’t check to see if she was obeying orders. She’d never disobeyed, though she wanted to more and more just to feel stronger.
Her parent’s voices filled her head on those occasions.
Anya, you’ll be mate of the greatest alpha. It will be the most important thing about you now. You must always make him happy, or you’ll bring shame on our family.

If they were still alive now to see her growing unhappiness, would they care? Both had been born and raised Long
Claws. Mating for love was a foreign concept to her clan. Maybe that’s why she’d mistaken the potency of her feelings. She hadn’t an example of real love to compare it to.

She crossed
he arms like a shield across her chest, and cast one more lingering glance at Nathan before she turned away. His house was in the back of the clan, behind a row of kit homes that had been built when the Long Claws won the land from the Kodiaks in a bloody battle. Her sneakers made scuffling sounds against the pavestone walkway, and she slipped through the door into the cool draft of the air conditioning.

A sprawling living room and kitchen took up most of the fir
st floor, but the second floor was where he meant for her to go. Her stomach clenched and filled with warmth just looking at the room atop the stairs. She’d had so much pleasure in this room with him, it was as if her body prepared itself for ecstasy despite the turmoil in her mind. No, Nathan didn’t know how to love, but he took care of her physical needs in a way she imagined no other man could. That had to count for something, right?

Knowing what was expected of her, she unhurriedly peeled off her shirt and unfastened her bra.
Her breasts bobbed free of their restraint and she sighed in relief. The fabric of her jeans brushed her smooth legs as she pulled them down, and when she was completely naked, she turned to a full-length mirror. The rich red and gold of the curtains and fabric of the room blurred away. No incense was lit yet, but the smell still clung to the room. Nathan had a bias against hair, and required she keep herself waxed completely smooth. He didn’t use her as much anymore, but she kept up the grooming habit just in case.