Beta Test (#gaymers) (15 page)

“How do you cope?” Ravi turned toward Tristan. “Seriously. How do you do it? You’re an adult. Yet, you’re still close to your folks, still trying to please them.”

“I’m all they have.” Tristan looked down at his hand. “Everything changed when Derek died. Everything. I can’t leave them.”

“You can’t live your life trying to make up for him either.” Ravi took Tristan’s hand and squeezed it.

“I know,” Tristan said, even though he didn’t, not really. Guilt and sadness had been his companions for so many years, he didn’t really know who he’d be without them. All he knew was how his parents’ disapproval cut like broken glass.

“I know it’s easier for me to say—I’ve got Lakshmi the perfect sister to fall back on. She went to the college my father picked, married the guy Dadi and my mom picked out, and had twin boys in short order. But, Tris, seriously, trying to make family happy is toxic.”

“It’s complicated. And if it were so easy, you wouldn’t be twisted in knots over this wedding thing.”

“So true. Why do we have to love them so much?” Ravi sighed, and Tristan joined him with a giant exhale. It felt like more than a release of air—it was letting go of feeling so darn alone in trying to please his parents. Sure, Ravi had kind of gone the opposite direction, but he
understood
, and that understanding was a powerful, almost tangible thing.

“Because they’re all we have. You only get one family.”

“Truth. I have tons of friends, but no one winds me up like my family.
Fuck.
I hate that one phone call from my mom has me feeling like a stupid kid. And we’re here on work, and I’m full of pain meds. I can’t even go get drunk and pierce something because she pissed me off.”

“Oh.” Tristan sat up enough to pat his pocket. “I got you something. Technically nothing’s for sale until tomorrow, but a tattoo and body art booth is right next to our new location. And I felt bad about you getting hurt...” He held out the little packet with two rings.

“You got me nipple rings?” Ravi’s mouth quirked like he wasn’t sure whether or not to smile.

“Um. Yeah. I’m sorry. It was a dorky idea...”

Ravi shook the rings out into his hand. “They’ve got little spaceships. Oh, dude, that’s so cool. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Tristan’s face heated.

“Help me get my T-shirt off over my stitches, and I’ll put them in. I might have to get some more rings tomorrow for my other piercings.”

“You have other piercings?” Tristan’s voice squeaked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Ravi leaned over and kissed Tristan square on the mouth. “Yup. I wasn’t kidding about doing it to piss my mom off. I’ve kind of grown out of it lately, but I’ve had my eyebrow done, both ears, one ear a second time, my nose, and I almost got my tongue done last year when Avani got engaged but chickened out at the last moment.”

“Darn.” Tristan put a world of regret behind the word, and Ravi laughed.

“You like that idea, huh? Maybe I’ll reconsider.”

“I’m not sure
why
I find piercings and tats so hot,” Tristan mused as he gently helped Ravi out of the T-shirt. “Almost as much as flashy dressing.”

“Flashy dressing, huh?” Ravi laughed before wincing as they got the T-shirt past the stitches. “You like guys with loud personas. I guess it makes sense. Does this mean I can talk you into buying something teal while we’re here?”

“No way. My parents...
I
wouldn’t be comfortable. But I do like looking...” He trailed off as he realized he was totally confessing to loving to stare at Ravi.

“Yeah?” Ravi kissed him again, slower this time and more deliberate. “And here I thought all I did was piss you off.”

“No,” Tristan said against his lips, and something zinged between them. The moment felt big and scary and charged with potential, and he wanted to imprint it on his brain. Maybe it was simply that they were solidly friends now, but he wanted to remember this kiss and how it felt to share even his silliest thoughts so easily.

Ravi pulled away enough to shake the rings free of the little bag. “I like you, I really do, but I’m going to put them in myself if that’s okay. It’s kind of tricky.”

Tristan was absolutely fine with watching Ravi fiddle with his nipples. Heck, the sight was enough to get him fully hard, and when Ravi preened with both rings in, he groaned.

“You like?” Ravi wiggled his eyebrows.

“
Yes.
” Instead of waiting for Ravi like usual, Tristan pulled him forward for a kiss, need clawing at his insides. His hands swept up Ravi’s sides, wanting to feel the rings under his fingers. Ravi leaned back, letting Tristan explore.

“Oh fuck.” Ravi pushed Tristan back on the bed, looming over him.

“Your injuries...”

“Aren’t to my dick.” Ravi gave a feral grin, and Tristan was lost.
That
was what the moment had been earlier—the sound of him falling off a cliff, because he was totally, completely crazy for this man.

* * *

Ravi looked down at Tristan. The guy was fully clothed, yet he seemed bared to Ravi, spread open for his perusal. The way Tristan could let go and hand the reins over to Ravi made him painfully hard. And after all the conversation and revealing more of himself than he really wanted, Ravi
needed
this, needed to reset with something familiar and comforting and where he knew the ropes, instead of the murky waters where everything felt new and different.

He wasn’t sure he liked feeling as if he could talk to Tristan for hours, as if he’d never get tired of sharing. Ravi was used to hanging out with friends, but he was usually the listener or managed to keep conversation on a more superficial level. This “let’s share our inner angst” business was a bit unnerving.

But fucking? Fucking was exactly what they both needed.

“You’ve got too many clothes on.” He tugged on Tristan’s shirt.

“I’m worried about your stitches—”

“And I’m worried about your pants.” Ravi unzipped Tristan’s fly to emphasize his point. “Don’t touch my head and everything’s cool. Promise.”

“Maybe you should lie back. I could blow you...” Tristan scrambled the rest of the way out of his clothes while Ravi took off his own pants.

“Maybe
you
should stop thinking.” Ravi pushed him back down. Nice as Tristan’s mouth was, he really wanted to be in charge right then. And judging from how hard Tristan was beneath him, he needed this too.

Their cocks collided as Ravi bent down to claim Tristan’s lips, and Ravi’s hips thrust instinctively. Oh yes. This was exactly what he craved.

Tristan’s head fell back, presenting his neck for Ravi to kiss and lick. He was careful not to leave marks, but he still enjoyed the desperate sounds his kisses forced from Tristan’s mouth.

“I love doing it like this,” Ravi panted. “Grinding together. Can you come this way?”

“
Yes.
” Tristan bucked up against him, arms holding Ravi tightly against him. “Harder.”

“Yeah? You like it a little rough?” Ravi could so deal with that, speeding up the motion of his hips, letting his movements get more desperate.

Tristan made needy little noises as they ground together. Ravi was all about respecting Tristan’s boundaries, but damn, he really wanted to fuck Tristan, see what he sounded like when Ravi nailed him.

But then Tristan writhed beneath him, cock dragging against Ravi’s at the perfect angle, and all thoughts of other acts fled. This was enough. This was perfect.

“Kiss me,” Tristan begged, his hands moving restlessly against Ravi’s back.

“Yes.” His sore head throbbed and his shoulder burned and there was nowhere else he’d rather be than right here kissing this man.

Their tongues tangled and Tristan nipped at Ravi’s lower lip. The kiss went from a nice accompaniment to the rhythm of their bodies to the song itself—a whole universe of sound and sensation and emotion passing between them.

One of Tristan’s hands snaked between them, flicked Ravi’s nipple ring.

“
Fuck
. That. Again,” Ravi panted against his mouth. He was close, too close, and he should slow down, make this last, but he was powerless against the need driving him.

“Mmm.” Tristan made the high-pitched whine that Ravi already associated with him coming.

“Yeah, baby. Come on. Tell me what you need.”

“This. Just this.” Tristan writhed beneath him. “Just you.”

Oh, that was an intoxicating thought—being enough for Tristan, exactly like this, being everything he needed. Then Tristan tweaked his nipple and Ravi was coming, hips undulating in long thrusts as the sensations washed over him. He felt Tristan go over too—his whole body stiffened and he breathed Ravi’s name like a prayer, exactly like Ravi had fulfilled all his expectations.

Tristan’s utter contentment spurred aftershocks rippling through Ravi’s body.

“Fuck.” He rolled off Tristan to collapse next to him. “Tell me again about how you’re terrible at sex?”

“That was...unprecedented.” Tristan sat up, grabbing his shirt to swipe at the mess on his stomach. “And maybe it’s that you’re
really
good at that.”

“Much as I like you thinking I’m some sort of sex god, I gotta tell you, it’s not usually that good with
anyone.
” And wasn’t that a sobering thought, the idea that what they had was special and different and when it ended, Ravi would be left missing this. Damn Tristan for raising the bar for what he wanted out of sex.

“Yeah?” Tristan grinned. “Maybe we bring out the best in each other.”

Ravi liked that thought even less, but the truth of it was undeniable. Tristan made Ravi want to try harder, be a better lover, better person.
How am I going to let you go?

“And if I want to keep getting the best out of you, I better feed you. And use my GPS to find some sort of pharmacy downtown.”

“Pharmacy?”

“Yeah. I need to get you a close-fitting shower cap. I know you by now. You’ll sleep better and be nicer tomorrow if you can shower, even if you have to be careful of the stitches.”

“Tris...” Ravi’s throat tightened. He didn’t know how to express gratitude for how Tristan was always thinking about what he needed and how he managed to make such thoughtfulness appear effortless.

“Feel up to walking to get food with me or want to rest here? I’m happy to bring it back.” Add oblivious to the list of Tristan’s endearing qualities. He seriously had no idea the havoc he was wreaking in Ravi’s life.

“Sure, I can come with you.” And even knowing how temporary all this upheaval was, Ravi was still desperate for more. More time together. More laughter. More memories to savor later. More Tristan.

Chapter Fifteen

Tristan woke up Thursday with Christmas morning-level anticipation—he felt giddy, the way he had when Derek was still alive and had carried him downstairs, the two of them sitting marveling at the tree and presents until their parents joined them. He couldn’t wait for Ravi and the rest of the team to see their booth. Robert and the others were scheduled to arrive that morning.

Which meant a second, competing emotion was at war in Tristan’s gut—the sort of deep melancholy at being told to pack away his toys. With the arrival of the team, the easy friendship he shared with Ravi would be gone, replaced with awkward looks and careful attempts to keep their sleeping arrangements on the down-low. “What happens in Seattle” was about to get a whole lot more complicated.

They’d had a make-out session again that morning, and Ravi seemed to share his desperation and urgency, each of them clinging together like it might be their last time together. And even afterward, when he was helping Ravi avoid getting his stitches wet in the shower, his hands had slowed and lingered, wanting to memorize all the dips and angles of Ravi’s lean build.

However, now they were headed to the convention floor with a respectable distance of space between them and a crush of other vendors also heading in. The con was headlined by big panels and demos—
Space
Villager’s session was set for the next day, and the expectation was for a standing-room-only crowd. The demo and panel would feature Robert and the other bigwigs as well as the top developers like Adrian, and that part of the development team was in charge of that presentation. Tristan and Ravi were mainly concerned with the booth on the convention floor, and knowing that in a few short minutes the public would start wandering by was a new kind of thrill.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the introvert? You’re awfully perky this morning,” Ravi said as they showed their badges to get into the huge space designated for the vendor booths. For the first time ever, they were in near-identical outfits—black
Space Villager
T-shirts and black pants. Of course, Tristan’s were ironed khakis and Ravi’s were expensive-looking tight jeans.

“I prefer behind-the-scenes mastermind.” Tristan laughed. “And I’ve never done anything like this before.” The giddiness that bubbled up in his chest had as much to do with Ravi as it did with the newness of a con.

“It
is
pretty awesome to see a plan come together.” Ravi followed him as he led the way to their booth—the endcap they’d been promised, at the intersection of two of the main thoroughfares funneling visitors through the sprawling landscape of booths, exhibits and dealers. In addition to the top-tier games like
Space Villager
, there were vendors offering video game memorabilia of all sorts: prints, jewelry, hats, T-shirts and toys. There was a large section at the rear of the space designated as a “kids’ area” with interactive activities, but the bulk of the real estate was taken up by the largest game manufacturers and hardware providers.

Their booth was adjacent to Animated Ink, a tattooing business specializing in geeky art designs, and across from a huge Sega display.

“Oh wow. This all looks terrific.” Ravi stopped in front of their booth. His wide eyes and approving smile made Tristan pull himself up taller. “And is it unwrapping time?”

“It’s unwrapping time. The social media blast is set to go live in fifteen minutes.” They shared a smile, one that went on a bit too long for collegial enthusiasm.