Bermuda Nights - The Boxed Set (5 page)

Jeff’s face darkened, and his neck muscles bulged with strain, but he could not move his arm an inch. Evan held him solidly in place.

A second went by, then two … then Jeff blew out his breath in fury. He went slack, as if he’d stopped fighting. His voice came out in a growl. “Let me the fuck go.”

Evan spread his fingers, and Jeff snatched his arm back, his other hand going instinctively to rub against the bruised skin.

Evan’s voice was low, edged with steel. “We have very firm policies on this ship to safeguard our passengers’ safety. I’m afraid, if you approach Amanda again, that I’ll have to call in security.”

Jeff’s face flushed, his eyes turned coal black, and he drew his eyes down me in disgust. He spat the words out at me. “He’ll get tired of you, Amanda. I bet he has a groupie every night of the week on this ship, and he dips his wick into every one of them. He won’t be around to watch over you forever. And then I’ll be there, waiting to take what’s mine.”

He raked me with his gaze one last time, then he turned and stalked out of the club.

Kayla bounced up to us, a glass of Champagne in each hand, her eyes bright with joy. “Finally got us those drinks, ‘Mand! Here ya go!”

I took the flute from her, put it to my lips, and drank the entire thing down in one long swallow. I staggered back, and Evan’s hand was there around my waist, steady, holding me up.

Kayla raised her arms up in victory, letting loose with a wild whoop. “There ya go, ‘Mand! You’re finally free!” She gave a playful punch to Evan’s arm. “Way to go, Evan, I think you’ve done it. You’ve set her loose.” She grabbed my empty glass, handed me the other full one, and swirled back toward the bar.

My knees wobbled beneath me, and Evan guided me back over to our table, settling me down into the chair. He dropped into the seat at my side, pulling forward to straddle my legs with his. He took up my hands.

“Are you ok?”

My breath eased out of me in a long, slow flow. I still couldn’t believe I’d done it. I’d sent Jeff away. In all my time with him, I couldn’t ever have imagined doing that, speaking up to him.

I thought of how Evan had been drawn into it all, and I flushed. I looked up at him, guilt coursing through me.

“Evan, I’m so sorry. Jeff gets that way when he’s been drinking, and he –”

He tilted his head to one side. “Are you apologizing for Jeff?”

The words dried up in my mouth. For so long that had been my way of living, my daily habit.

I nodded.

He raised his fingers to my cheek, gently running them down my skin. “God, Amanda, don’t ever apologize for someone else. You are only responsible for you. Nobody else.” His gaze hardened for a moment. “Jeff is a jerk, and a nobody, and he is in your past. Whatever he used to do to you, or however he used to treat you, that is behind you now.”

He tucked a stray curl of my hair behind my ear. “You control your future now, Amanda. It’s your choices which guide your path.”

The thought glowed within me, billowed, and I looked into his eyes.

His breath caught, and for a moment his lips floated closer.

The sound of drumsticks rapping came from the stage, and he turned, blowing out his breath. He gave my hands a squeeze, and then he was gone.

I closed my eyes, sitting back in my chair, the enormity of the moment washing over me.

The guitar eased through the babble of conversation, a rolling, bubbling brook, a familiar, comfortable, heart-felt call as the band slid into
Going to California
.

I turned my chair so I could sit back and just watch him. He looked up and smiled, then eased back into the flow of the music, and it was as if he were performing for me alone. It was just him, me, the fingers on the strings, and the rich, aching, haunting sounds which floated out across the room.

The music flowed, the room ebbed and flowed, and I blinked as the last notes of the last song echoed out against the dark walls. Sven’s voice was hoarse from his long night of singing. “And that’s it for tonight, folks! Be sure to enjoy your day on Bermuda tomorrow, and come back on board for our set tomorrow night! Boston Strong!”

The crowd roared back, the noise shaking the glassware hanging above the bar.

Kayla bounced up to Sven, a glowing apparition of pink and sparkles, and she giggled as he took her up in both arms and spun her around. She turned to look at me over her shoulder.

“Beads!”

And then they were drifting with the ebbing tide, flowing out with the sea of patrons returning to their rooms.

Evan had tucked his guitar into a soft black bag, and he slung it over his shoulder, coming over to me. He raised an eyebrow. “Beads?”

I stood, chuckling. “She means the Mardi Gras beads will be on the door handle,” I explained. “I’m homeless for an hour or two.”

He glanced at the doorway to the club, his brow creasing in concern. “Oh?”

“I’ll be fine,” I reassured him. “I’ll just hang out here, and –”

A rail-thin girl with heavy owl-eye makeup, looking barely legal to drink, staggered into me, splashing me with the martini she balanced precariously in one hand. She let out a shriek of laughter, then staggered back to her friends.

Evan brushed me down. “I have somewhere I go after gigs, to unwind. If you wanted to come along –”

“Sure,” I responded instantly, gathering up my purse.

He hesitated for a moment, his gaze shielding from me as if he’d slid on internal sunglasses. Then he nodded, took me gently by the arm, and led me out.

We crossed the length of the ship, down mostly deserted hallways. The occasional passenger we crossed seemed bleary-eyed and unable to hold a straight line. Then we reached the double doors to the Stardust Theater. He put his hand against it for a moment, as if contemplating something, then he drew it open, inviting me through.

The theater was vast, seeming even larger in the soft lighting. He led me up the side stairway to the balcony, drawing me along the row until we reached a nook in the front, tucked in the shadows. There was a curved, plush bench seat there, fronted by a small round table. He put his guitar to one side, then slid into the bench. His arm came up onto the back of the bench. I moved in after him, tucking myself in, and his arm came down along my shoulder as if it’d always belonged there.

I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder, and the world settled into place. After the cacophony of the evening, the silence seemed stunning.

I smiled. “This is nice.”

He nodded. “I found this spot pretty early on in my tour. If you think your rooms are tight, you should see the crew quarters sometime. We have the four of us stuffed into a space the size of a breadbox. You can’t inhale without three other people hearing it. It’s as if they can listen in on your very thoughts. And sometimes …” He closed his eyes. “Sometimes I just need to be alone.”

I nuzzled my head against his chest. “You’re not alone now.”

He gave a soft chuckle, and he pressed his lips against my forehead. “That’s quite all right,” he murmured.

I nestled closer into his nook. “Guess I’m lucky that Kayla put the beads out.”

A smile lit his voice. “You two must have been hell during high school,” he teased. “Thelma and Louise. The boys never stood a chance.”

I shook my head. “We were Charlie’s Angels,” I corrected. “There were three of us.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what happened to the third?”

Darkness descended on me, swirling me into its depths, and I let out a breath.

He drew me in, his lips pressing to my forehead again, holding there. “I’m so sorry.”

My voice was tight. “She … it was freshman year, and Tanya became obsessed with this senior. Eddie. Eddie seemed to have it all. Tall, dark, brooding, lots of cash. Drove a bright-red Ferrari. Tanya set out to catch him as if she were planning to climb Mount Everest. It was all she ever talked about.”

He nodded against me, letting me tell my tale at my own pace.

I eased against his sturdy chest, wrapping my arm around him. “He told her heroin would make their sex fantastic. Turn it into a mind-blowing trip like she’d never seen.” The ache delved into me. “And of course, she dove in. Anything for her Eddie.”

He twined a hand into my hair, comforting me.

Tears brimmed in my eyes. “I’m the one who found her. It was junior year, right before Christmas. We were supposed to go out shopping, and she never showed at my house. She wasn’t answering her phone, either. It was the middle of the afternoon, so I drove over there and let myself in. We were always visiting each other; were practically members of each other’s families. So we all had keys.”

Hot tears trickled down my cheeks. “And there she was, sprawled across her lavender bedspread. She still had some of her purple unicorns on one shelf. I remember it. She had on jeans, and a black lace bra, and her closet door was open as if she’d been deciding what to wear. But she was covered with vomit, and her eyes were wide, glassy, and not moving. And I just screamed … and screamed …”

He held me tight as the sobs shook me, as the horror of that afternoon dug into me, taking root, twisting me inside out.

At long last the pain eased a little, and I wiped my face off on his t-shirt.

His voice was rough. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. Sorry for you all.”

I slid my hand along his waist. “And you know the worst part? That bastard, Eddie, never even paid for it. He vanished. Turns out he’d been supplying heroin to half the school. A number of kids went into hard withdrawal when their supply dried up. But I suppose it was still better than what happened to Tanya.”

I pressed my lips together. “And most of the kids had been like Tanya. Hadn’t really been interested in starting. Did it because he lured them in. He convinced them that it was safe, that it was fun. Like riding a roller coaster, and you can just step off when the ride is done.”

His voice was a low growl. “It is
not
,” he countered. “It’s like a tapeworm. It digs into your system, and grows, and grows, and clawing it out can involve excruciating agony.”

He stilled, and his voice became tense. “Did you –”

“No,” I quickly reassured him. “Kayla and I stayed as far away from that junk as possible. We tried to get Tanya to quit, too, but she was just too hooked into Eddie. Hooked into her dream.”

He nodded, his body relaxing beneath me. “You can’t make that decision for someone else,” he murmured. “You can do your best to provide the path, but they’re the one who has to take that step. Or it will never stick.”

I blinked away the remaining tears, tilting my face to look up at him. “Thank you for listening.”

His breath caught, his pine-forest-green eyes glimmered in the shadows, and a deep groan shook through his body. “God, Amanda, you are so beautiful.”

I stretched up against him, brushing my lips against his, a butterfly’s flutter.

His groan grew deeper, and his hand slid along my waist.

I turned so I straddled his leg, half laying across him on the velvety bench, and I brought my mouth more firmly onto his. His lips parted in a strong inhale, and I slipped my tongue in, being driven on by a strong emotion I barely knew existed within me.

I wanted him. I wanted him with every ounce of my being.

His tongue slipped against mine, craving coursed through my sex, and I moaned in agony.