Bent not Broken (84 page)

Even though we were alone, it was still the first Christmas we’d spent together in years, so we’d decided to dress up for dinner just like we would have done had we been spending it at my family’s house. Right now, I was really enjoying that decision. Melanie moved around the kitchen, looking absolutely amazing in a red dress, her breasts just peeking out from the V-neck. The skirt swished around her knees as she made her way back and forth between the counter and oven.

I found it difficult to pay attention to the task in front of me. My body was painfully aware of every move she made, even though I was trying to give my regard to the very sharp blade coming dangerously close to the tips of my fingers.

She glanced over my shoulder. “I’m ready for those whenever you’re finished.”

“Just a sec.” I finished up quickly.

She pecked my lips. “Thanks.”

I sat back and watched as she spread them over the top of the mixture and slid the dish into the oven.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” I inspected the bottles nestled in the small rack and picked out a red that would go well with our dinner.

“Mmm, yeah. That’d be nice.” She moved on to prepare the salad.

I popped the cork and filled two wine glasses halfway.

“Here you go, beautiful.” I set the glass next to her on the counter, reaching up to massage her shoulders, regretting that I was so incompetent in the kitchen. I figured I could at least make her feel good while she made my favorite dinner.

Luckily, Melanie agreed, groaning at my touch. “That...feels...so...good.”

I kissed the back of her head, my nose immersed in her rich brown curls. Swimming in the perfume that was only Melanie, I allowed her aura to ground me. My nerves had spiked, just a bit, knowing where this evening was going. I just had no idea what her reaction would be.

All I knew was I wanted her. I needed to share my life with her—completely—not this messed up situation where I was awarded only a small allowance of her. I was already wholly hers, and I could not bear another day where she was not wholly mine. But above all of that, I needed her safe.

While we waited for our dinner to cook, we moved to the couch, sipped our wine, and immersed ourselves in conversation until the buzzer called us to dinner.

The casserole was every bit as delicious as I remembered, maybe even better. I was sure that impression had a lot to do with the fact that Melanie and I were spending our first Christmas together in nearly a decade. I was now a firm believer in the old adage that you could never truly appreciate something until you’d been without it.

We ate by candlelight. Melanie’s face glowed, not just from the flicker of the flame, but with her joy. The smile on her face never faded. Her cheeks were the perfect shade of rose, emitting waves of heat, drawing me in. I found myself constantly reaching out to touch the soft flesh, running the back of my hand over her precious face. We laughed and loved as we ate and drank. We celebrated us. This was a meal I would never forget.

“Merry Christmas, Daniel.” She looked at me, her expression soft—adoring. She took my hand under the table and ran her thumb over the back of my hand, her touch so calming yet always fire, never a contradiction.

I intertwined my fingers with hers and stood. Like a magnet, she echoed my movements and rose as well. “Merry Christmas, Melanie.” I kissed her tenderly, gently, savoring that constant sweetness that was Melanie. I lingered, manifesting my every affection.

I led her to the fire. The embers glowed red, the flames jumping, crackling, tinged in blue, providing the only light in the room. I helped her to the floor, staring unabashedly as she curled her long legs under her and settled down in front of me.

I didn’t know I was so nervous until I realized my hands were shaking.

Fumbling in my pocket, I pulled out the small box and tentatively placed it on the floor in front of her.

Melanie gasped, her eyes flitting between the box and me. “Daniel...I...I don’t have anything for you.”

As if I could ever want anything other than her.

“Shh, baby, you’ve already given me everything. And...it’s old.”

I’d held on to it for a very long time.

She began to reach for it and I stopped her. “I need to say something first.”

She looked at me, confused as she withdrew her hand. In quiet expectation she waited while I wrestled with how to best get this out.

“Melanie, sweetheart...you know how much I respect you, right?”

She nodded without hesitation.

“Good. Because I need you to believe I’d never try to control you. But I can’t let you go back there. It’s not safe.”

She immediately refused, just as I knew she would. “No, it’s not safe for me to leave yet. He’ll know why. We have to give it more time.”

“We don’t have more time.” I lowered my voice, running my fingers through the lock of hair that had fallen in her face, pushing it back in place. “We can’t hide this forever, and you can’t be in that house when he finds out.”

Almost imperceptibly she shook her head. I could see how badly she wanted to agree, but her judgment was clouded. Fear dominated, filling her with doubt.

“Do you really think anything is ever going to change, Melanie? The only thing these last two months have accomplished is making him tighten his hold on you. Another two months aren’t going to make a difference, either.”

She was silent, her eyes closed.

“Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

Tears broke free and streamed down her face. She whispered, “I’m scared.”

“I know, baby. He wants you to be. Don’t you see that? He knows exactly what he’s doing, knows exactly how to control you. You are so strong, sweetheart, but you have to use it the right way.”

She surprised me by cutting me off. “Okay.” She opened her eyes, nodding but still crying.

I grasped her face and kissed her, closed mouthed and hard. My relief was intense, overpowering. I pulled away and glanced down at the space between us, drawing her attention to the little velvet box. “Open it.”

She flashed me a soggy, full-toothed grin, and she dried her eyes with her sleeve. She picked up the box and ran her fingers over the velvet top. “Thank you, Daniel. You didn’t have to.”

Gingerly, she lifted the lid, smiling as she inspected the obviously antique ring, a relic from long ago. She freed it from its confines. “Oh, it’s so beautiful,” she whispered as she brought it closer, holding it up to examine the detail. She ran a finger over the thick band of white gold encrusted with diamonds that shimmered in the firelight. As she rolled it over, a cry escaped her mouth.

“Oh, my God, Daniel, is this?”

Chapter Twenty-Five

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t control the tremors that hit me, rolling through every muscle of my body with the onslaught of emotion.

It was the same inscription as my necklace, the intertwined D & M, except for the date running along the inside.

April 28, 2000
. I searched his face, his eyes so hopeful, full of his promise of forever. His voice cracked when he spoke, “Will you wear it?”

I was crying, probably too hard, but I couldn’t stop. I found myself only able to whisper his name, praying he could feel what this meant to me even if I couldn’t voice it.

He wanted me to wear my wedding ring.

“I’d had it engraved before...before the accident,” he said, rushing over the words before taking a deep breath. “I could never part with it because, in my heart, you were my wife. And I want you to know I intend to make that a reality...and soon. But for now, will you wear what was meant for you so long ago?”

My face felt flushed and my heart beat impossibly fast, pounding as it thrummed against my chest. Daniel’s love overpowered me as he asked me to acknowledge that day. Our day. A day we had physically missed, but a day our spirits had been present for, a day our souls had always honored. It was a day I confirmed as I nodded, raising a shaky hand to Daniel, my palm extended in offering. He didn’t hesitate to take the ring from my hand. He kissed my palm before he turned my hand over and slid the ring to its rightful place.

My entire being hummed.

I gaped at my hand resting in his, the ring a priceless reminder of this love that refused to die.

“I love you, Daniel. Forever.” I stared at him through the firelight, witnessed the love alight in his eyes. The energy grew thick, nearly visible at the fringes, a faint shimmer in the air as it enveloped us.

“You are everything, Melanie.” He never broke his gaze as he brought me to him, lying us down, side-by-side, face-to-face. His lips were unhurried and worshipful. He took time to revere all of me, leaving nothing in disregard, his love lasting deep into the night.

****

The rest of our vacation went by quickly, most of it spent in the cabin, content to be alone and without interruption. We’d only ventured out a few times, braving the snow and freezing temperatures. We’d walked down to the boardwalk, always hand in hand, browsing through the quaint stores.

We ate dinner out one night when Daniel insisted I deserved a break from cooking. We dined in a beautiful restaurant nestled on a hill that overlooked the lake. The view was breathtaking, almost as much so as the view from our balcony at the cabin.

We rang in the New Year by sitting snuggled up on the couch with a bottle of wine, the fire raging before us, sharing precious memories of our past and making promises for our forever.

I had never experienced anything so satisfying. My heart was filled to capacity, the joy within me almost overwhelming as it was reflected back in Daniel’s face every time he looked my way.

But as I strapped into my seat on the plane preparing to return to Illinois, I knew
this
was what I was looking forward to. As wonderful as the trip had been, I was going home.

Daniel borrowed my phone to call Patrick and Julia since he’d forgotten his charger, and his phone was dead. He let them know we were on our way home.
Our home
.

I made one last call to Mom before turning off the phone for the flight. She’d heard nothing from Nicholas the entire time and said all was well.

We were going to handle this as simply as we could. It was Monday and Nicholas would be at the office. We would get what little I needed from the house, and I’d leave my car there. I wanted nothing that belonged to him. I would take only what I had to have and forget the rest.

I would leave a note asking Nicholas to call so I could arrange to meet him at a restaurant or some other public place, in a place where he could cause no scene and do me no harm. Just to be safe, Daniel would be nearby in case I needed him.

I was going to tell Nicholas the truth. As much as I despised him, he deserved that. After all, I had been a willing partner in all of this.

The seat belt lights flickered on, and Daniel wove his fingers through mine. The plane began to move, readying to make its departure into the early morning light. As the plane took flight, we raced east to meet the sunrise. Faster than I could imagine, the captain came on and announced our decent into Chicago. Daniel smiled at me and squeezed my fingers, murmuring in my ear, “Ready?”

I exhaled nervously in anticipation.

Yes.

Finally—I was ready.

****

We departed the plane, both of us quiet, contemplative.

“It’s going to be okay.” Daniel pulled me from my meditation with his soft words and a gentle hand on my cheek. “Tonight is going to be hard, but you can do this, sweetheart. You pick the place and time. Don’t give him the option. You need to be the one in control of this.”

I nodded. Daniel’s suggestion made sense. “Um...there’s a little diner Katie and I go to. It’s always busy, and I think if you were in the back, he’d never see you.”

“Okay.” He tried to hide it, but I could tell that he was just as nervous about this meeting as I was.

“We’ll just leave a note when we get your stuff.”

The tram doors slid open. “I’ll see you at
his
house.” A small smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, obviously thrilled to voice that I no longer lived there. “I’m going to pop by the office to sign some papers for Dad. I’ll be about fifteen minutes behind you.”

“Okay...love you.” I kissed him once more before stepping onto the waiting tram. I raised my hand to return the small wave he gave me, grinning as I watched him turn to catch a shuttle to his own car.

I winced at the frigid wind stinging my face when I stepped outside. Chicago was every bit as cold as Tahoe had been. The sky was dark with heavy gray clouds, sagging in their promise of snow. I reached my car, struggling to get my suitcase into the trunk. I paid my parking fee and set out on my last trip to Nicholas’s house, unable to pacify the opposing emotions fighting to claim dominance. How could I be so eager to get away from there and so terrified to do it all at the same time?

It was just after three when I pulled up to the house. I opened the garage and parked the car in its spot.

I was officially car-less.

Shrugging, I pulled the keys from the ignition. Those little details mattered none.

I tugged the heavy suitcase from the trunk, figuring its contents would be the only clothes I’d take. I grabbed an empty cardboard box large enough to fit the few things I needed from the office.

I stepped into the house, silent and dim with the advancing storm. I went directly to the office and downloaded a few files from the computer while I rifled through paperwork. I made sure to take the large manila envelope that contained my birth certificate and medical records. There were a few pictures of Katie and me in frames on the desk, and I tossed those into the box as well before looking around to make sure I had everything I needed. It was amazing that everything that was important to me in the last nine years fit into one small box. The only other things I needed were the few pieces of jewelry that had belonged to my grandmother in the jewelry box upstairs and the treasured pictures hidden at the bottom of it.

I heaved the box into my arms and toed the door open, swinging it wide and stepping out into the living room.