Bent not Broken (36 page)

“Kiss me, Arsen. Make me forget,” she whispers softly against my mouth.

I keep my eyes open at first, watching how her lips part to welcome my kiss, only closing them when I taste her sweetness on my tongue. Kissing Catherine is fucking perfect.

Slowly, breaking the kiss momentarily, I take her t-shirt off and unhook her bra, then pull her closer to me until I can feel her breasts against my bare chest. Growing hard, one of my hands goes to the small of her back pushing her against me and hold her closer. I want her to feel how much I want her, how much I need her. It’s never close enough. She owns me. And I’d like to think that I own her too, even if it’s for a couple of hours each day.

I’ll take whatever I can get.

With our hands wrapped around our hair, we kiss for a long time. Both of us naked, Catherine lies down on her back and opens her legs invitingly for me. Christ, how the fuck do you say no to that?

I settle between her legs, but I don’t thrust into her right away. No, I like to have fun and get her moaning first. Kissing her temple, then her nose, eyelids, the pretty beauty mark next to her mouth, I make my way down to her collarbone. When I reach her breasts, I let my tongue play with her nipples, sucking them gently and biting them hard until I can hear her moan.

By the time I reach her belly, my fingers have been stroking her clit to prepare her for me. Sitting back on my knees without breaking eye contact, I bring my soaked fingers into my mouth and lick them clean. With her taste in my mouth, I smile when I see her blush like that. Catherine is so damn beautiful, and she has no idea of the power she holds over me. I lean down and run my tongue along her clit before she has a chance to move. So sweet, I breathe in her scent as if it were the last bout of air my lungs would inhale in this life.

“Put your legs over my shoulders,” I order, breathing between her thighs and watching her body tremble.

Never breaking eye contact, she rests her calves and heels on my back. She’s so damn perfect. I lower my mouth one more time and let myself go fucking wild on her pussy.

When I feel her gripping my hair, I look up and watch her as she tosses her head back into the pillow, thrusting her hips against my mouth again and again as I lick, slide, and suck.

“Fuck, Arsen! I’m…I’m...” she gasps.

I grip her ass with my hands and push her harder against my mouth. The essence of her drives me fucking insane because there’s nothing as sweet as the taste of your woman on your tongue.

In this moment, she is mine.

I put two fingers inside her and stroke her fast and hard until she comes undone, screaming my name into the room. I grin because I love making her come with my name of her lips.

After her body quiets down I move in between her legs once more. Spreading her open for me with one hand, I grab my cock in the other and thrust in.

Finally…

Home sweet fucking home.

Excruciating need making my body tremble. I wrap both my hands in her hair and make her look at me as I start moving inside her. I want to watch her face while we fuck. I move slowly at first, letting her body take as much of me as possible, but when I feel her tightening around my cock again I pull out. Gently, I turn her to lie down on her stomach as my hands grab her hips, and fuck smoothly into her from behind. I enjoy seeing the red marks that my strong hold leaves on her white skin, wishing for a moment that her fucking husband paid more attention and noticed them.

Jealousy fills me as I pick up the pace, fucking her harder, owning her harder, erasing him from her body. Feeling close, I fist her hair in my hands, tilting her head backwards and let loose. I can see how wet she is making my cock as I take her and I fucking love it. I rub her clit faster and start pounding her ass. In and out of her body. My body.

I own it.

Catherine cranes her neck to look at me as we move closer to the edge together. I shout her name as she screams mine and just like that we come together, as one entity, one body, one soul. I look into her excited eyes, and my mind finally acknowledges what my heart has known all along as the truth—I’m hers. I belong to Catherine. And I want her to be mine, only mine.

After I thrust a few more times, our bodies shiver and go slack. I wrap my arms around her tightly and pull her closer to my chest, moving us to lay down sideways. With our limbs tangled together, and my cock still inside her, I feel like I can fly. I nuzzle her neck and lick the salty sweat with my tongue, lingering on the spot behind her ear, and chuckling when I feel her tremble. I can’t help it. She is so damn sweet.

I murmur in her ear, “Well, hello there stranger. Fancy meeting you here.” I thrust my softening cock gently inside her. Lying on her side with my front covering her back and one of her hands pillowing her cheek, Catherine brings her free hand to link with mine.

“Do you ever get tired?” Laughter rings in her voice.

“Nope.” I let go of her hand and tickle her under her armpits. I can’t help laughing as she squirms under my arms like a fish out of water. She’s so ticklish. As we laugh, I slide my cock out of her. I don’t want to, but this is about to turn into a major war and I don’t want to lose. I hate losing. Catherine distracts me when she runs her tongue along my nipple and sucks it into her mouth, knowing full well it will screw with my mind. A moment later, she’s straddling me with both my wrists locked in her firm grasp above my head. I could break free of her hold in the blink of an eye, but I like this playful side of my Dimples so I let her get away with it. Her blonde hair cascades down her shoulders, showcasing the creamy whiteness of her skin, and her body is perfect to fucking feast on it. Her pretty green eyes don’t look like shards of ice anymore. They are shining brightly with excitement and hopefully with love.

She owns me.

She lowers her lips to mine, and as we kiss, I don’t notice that her hands have let go of mine until it’s too late. Her hands may be small, but those fingers can tickle!

I lock her legs with mine and flip her on her ass. Better. The sight of her mouth is driving me mental, so I kiss her again. I want to eat her. I want to devour her. Suddenly, I can’t move.

I can’t breathe.

I love her.

This woman is it for me. I thought Jessica was the love of my life, and maybe she was, but I can’t keep denying that I’ve fallen in love with Catherine. The truth paralyzes me, humbles me, yet it sets me free. And it makes me feel powerful, too.

Superhero fucking powerful.

“Thank you, Arsen. Thank you for making me forget, for making me laugh again, for what you did back at the bookstore,” Catherine whispers. I half groan, half growl, and pull her up on my lap. As she straddles me, she wraps her arms around my neck, winding her fingers through my hair and giving it a slight tug. I tuck an arm under her delicious ass and the other around her waist, pulling her as close to me as possible.

Feeling like a girl with butterflies in my stomach, I close my eyes and nuzzle her neck, licking her ear. “I want you to be happy again, Catherine. I really do. And I want to be part of the reason that you are.”

Catherine closes her eyes for a moment and seems to consider her next words carefully. When she opens them, gloom stares back at me, prickling my skin. A bad feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.

“Please, don’t go there. Don’t ask me for more. I-I can’t…”

Fuck, that hurts.

“Why the hell not?” I ask because I’m a masochist and I know her answer will be a punch to the gut.

“Because I’m married. And I love him.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I did ask, though.

I sneer. “It didn’t look like you loved anything but my cock when you were blowing me before.”

My words make her flinch. Well, hers make me sick.

“Oh, Arsen. Don’t say that…don’t be cruel. You knew I was married.”

“Are you fucking shitting me? Of course I knew it! I just had no fucking idea that it was going to hu—”

I stop myself before I say words that I will regret. Letting her go, I sit up on the edge of the bed, turning away from her.

“You know what? Forget I said anything. Never mind. It doesn’t matter, right? We’re just having fun. Screwing on the down low when you’re not pretending to be Perfect Cathy, the wife of the mighty Benjamin Stanwood.”

“Arsen…” Her voice breaks.

“Nah. It’s okay, Cathy. I fucking get it. I get it. I’m your mid-life-fucking-crisis ten years too early. Instead of asking Ben to buy you a diamond necklace, you chose to fuck me. And why the hell not? Diamonds won’t make you scream and come as hard as you do when you’re riding my fucking cock.”

Grinding my teeth, my body shakes as I try to control my temper. I don’t want the venom brewing inside me to poison us beyond remedy, but I do want to hurt her. I want to break her, shatter her.

Quid pro quo, quid pro quo, bitch.

I’m breathing hard as I clench my hands into tight fists because if I don’t, I may tear the place apart. Christ, this hurts.

As I’m trying to get myself under control, I feel Catherine move and get off the bed. Maybe she’s had enough? Good riddance. I’m done. Closing my eyes, I bring my hand to the back of my neck and rub it. Soft, warm hands cover my knees.

“You don’t understand. You can’t. I-I don’t understand it either, but this thing between us was never supposed to be. It wasn’t supposed to happen. It’s wrong, so very wrong. I lo—”

Catherine checks herself. “What do you want me to say to you? What do you want me to do? You-you say pretty words, Arsen, but they don’t mean a thing. They are just empty words. You make love to me, you fuck me, you do everything you want to me, and I let you because I love it. I love being with you.”

She looks down at her hands, then meets my gaze once more. “You make me forget. You make me feel happy, you make me smile and giggle like a teenager…but what you don’t realize is that my marriage was exactly the same way before it got tough, before it started to hurt me, before every single miscarriage tore a bigger hole inside me.

“My marriage was not just good, Arsen. It was amazing. And it’s not Ben’s fault at all that I’m here lying naked with you. Ben is still the same man. It’s me who changed. It’s me who chose to cheat on my husband of six years. It’s me who chooses to answer your every call and drive myself here. No one is forcing me to take my clothes off and get on my knees in front of you…it’s me. It’s all me.”

“Catherine…”

“No. Let me finish. So what makes you think that you’re any different than me? Than Ben? What makes you think that you have what it takes? Do you want me to leave Ben and be with you? YOU are the one having fun, Arsen. So when you claim th-that I think you’re only my fuck toy and nothing else…I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I don’t know what you want from me.”

I look into her brilliant eyes and I lose it. I begin to beg like a fucking child.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. Just don’t go tonight. Stay with me…tell him that you’re spending the night at Amy’s. Don’t go back tonight.”

She shakes her head. “Are you even listening to me?” she protests, her voice rising. “No. You know that’s impossible. I can’t. I must go home. Ben is starting to suspect something is going on. I need to—”

“Leave and play the role of the fucking perfect wife, huh?” Anger replaces my need for her. I spit the words as if they are acid on my tongue.

“Yes,” she states simply.

“Let me ask you something. Do you play it at night too? When you leave my apartment after having been with me, do you go back to your perfect three million dollar home in the suburbs of Westchester and fuck your husband?”

I watch her blush as she lets go of my knees. Kneeling on the floor with only the sheet wrapped around her body, Catherine speaks. “That’s none of your business.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Yes, it’s my business. You’re mine!” I shout, anger flowing through my veins, making me burn on the inside.

“No. I’m not. I’m Ben’s. I’m married to him. Not to you,” she speaks quietly to the floor.

“You know what? Fuck you!” My head is throbbing, and it feels like it’s ready to explode. Standing up, I try to get away from her as quickly as possible.

“No. No. No. Please, Arsen…don’t go,” she pleads desperately. I look down at her on the floor and see the pain expressed vividly on her face. Fuck. I can’t see her hurting like this and not do anything about it.

Sitting down on the floor, I pull her naked body next to mine. With her slight figure wrapped in my arms, the situation doesn’t seem as hopeless as it truly is. It doesn’t hurt as much either. When I feel like I can breathe once more, I listen to her speak as I rock us back and forth.

“Please, Arsen, don’t be upset. Let me think. Give me time to make sense of the mess I’ve made of everything. Please, understand that I can’t just up and leave Ben. I-I…he doesn’t deserve it. I need time to think, Arsen. I need time. Please don’t force my hand like that. Please, I beg you. I-I mean…does this even mean something to you? How do I know that you’re just not playing around?”

“What the fuck, Cathy? Does it feel like I’m playing around? Like I don’t give a shit? I’m at your constant beck and call!” I shout. After taking a deep breath and calming myself down, I continue, “Do you care for me? Do you care for me at all?”

The words are torn out of my chest.

Ripped from my soul.

“Yes. So much, Arsen. So much. B-But that doesn’t change one thing. Not one thing,” she repeats.

There are no tears shed, no blood spilled.

Nothing.

Just the truth between us. And it hurts. It hurts so fucking much because there’s nothing I can do to change it. Nothing I can do to make her not love her husband and love me instead. Nothing I can do to make her leave him and take me instead.

Nothing.

I’m bleeding out for her.

The afternoon glow has disappeared from the room, and in its place a cold darkness has settled around us. As I rock our bodies, not sure who’s trying to comfort whom, something strikes me as pretty damn hilarious. Not fifteen minutes ago, I felt like I was in fucking nirvana. Laughing, falling in love, not feeling like such a failure for the first time in my life because of her.