Bent not Broken (289 page)

He was walking down the parking lot at a fast pace. I had to jog to catch up to him. Where was he going? It was
his
car we were just in. When I was finally close enough, I reached out and grabbed his arm. “Marcus, please don’t walk away—talk to me.”

He stopped, turned, and looked down at me. “Why? What’s the point! If I poured my heart out to you at this moment, would it make a difference? Will it change your mind? Will you take me back?”

I wanted to, but I couldn’t. “
No
.”

“That’s what I thought!” Pulling from my grip, he went back to walking down the lot.

Hurriedly rushing back to his side, I began to feel angry. “How could I? After what you did? You lied to me,
remember
? You kept a secret from me. You knew my brother.
Worst
of all, you know who killed him, yet still you work for
him!
”

He stopped again. Biting his lip, he turned to face me. Lowering his head until he was only inches away from my face, he looked me straight in the eye. “Yes, and I’m
sorry
for that. I knew that it would be hard for you to accept it. Can you only imagine how difficult it is for
me
to work for
him
, knowing that he
killed
my father?”

I froze, tilting my head. I studied him, trying to rationalize what he just said. “Are you saying that Lou Sorrento murdered your father?” His eyes grew baffled as he realized he gave away something he wasn’t supposed too. Straightening, he shook his head, and turned walking back to his car. He picked up the pace at almost a jogging speed.

“Marcus!” I yelled after him, I had to run. Meeting up with him once again, I brought myself in front of him, placing my hands on his shoulders to stop him. I’d never been more confused in my life. If Lou killed Marcus’ father, why would he still be involved with him? He’s obviously trying not to let me in. “You’re shutting me out
again
, Marcus. This is why our relationship was the way it was. You kept things from me. That’s how someone loses trust in another by keeping
secrets
.”

“My
secrets
, Mia, are meant to be kept hidden because in the end, they could potentially harm you.” Shaking his head, he looked away from me. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe this should just be what it is … closure.” He brought his eyes back to me, and tears sprung to my eyes.
This
is it. This is finally the end.

“I will always love you, Mia. You’re the love of my life.” Cupping my face with both his hands, he brought his forehead to mine. “No minute will ever go by without a thought of you. If I can’t have you physically, you will always be a part of me spiritually in my dreams and memories.”

He was leaving me. “I love you Marcus.” I sobbed.

Bringing his lips against the side of my mouth, he mumbled, “I know,
baby.
Thank you for loving
me.
Thank you for showing me what
true
love is. I will
always
cherish you for that.”

Before I could protest, he was gone, leaving me alone in the middle of the parking lot with aching tears.
He
left
me
this time, and it felt like the earth swallowed me into its core: I was buried alive and suffocating.

I’m not sure how I made it to my car. I’m not sure how I found the keys and entered the vehicle, and I’m not sure how I made it all the way home. The entire ride was a huge haze. My entire life would never be the same. In fact my future looked like nothing but one huge block of blurriness.

Chapter Twenty-Five

When Marcus left me standing in the parking lot, I was sure my life was over and I wouldn’t know how to breathe or live again without him. Well, there I was thirty days later, and I was still alive and still breathing. A day hadn’t gone by without my mind drifting off to him. I still cried sometimes, but I was a little grateful it wasn’t every night anymore. The first two weeks were hard,
really
hard. Jeremy had to fall asleep with me to make sure I didn’t suffocate with my face buried in the pillow as I sobbed till I drifted away.

He spent a lot of time with me, and I was grateful for that. It made Stacy extremely jealous, and soon they broke up. I felt horrible. I told him to go win her back, that I was fine, but he assured me it was more than just me. He also said that if a girlfriend of his couldn’t accept his being there for a friend, then she was no girlfriend at all. I loved him for that also. He was just too good to me. Honestly if it weren’t for him, my mother, and Megan, I’m not sure I would’ve made it this long.

Megan is my cousin who moved here from Philadelphia. She was staying with my mom, and although her upbeat, bubbly personality was totally the opposite of mine, we hit it off right away. We’re similar in age, and I was helping her fill out college applications. She was able to find a job as a cocktail waitress at one of the local night clubs. Megan was beautiful: she was tall, slim, had light brown hair and the lightest brown eyes I’d ever seen. I wasn’t sure if they were hazel, but they turned to a small hint of any light color she wore. She came over to my place a lot, and I was sure it was because she had a thing for Jeremy. He, of course, didn’t mind her company as well.

The three of us became close, doing everything together. We watched late movies, went shopping, and went out to dinners. Though they kept my mind occupied a lot, there was always something missing. They would crack jokes, and I would watch them goof around. I was the third wheel, never chiming in on their jokes and never laughing at them either.

Megan said I needed to lighten up and get loose. If she only knew the person I was before Marcus and I broke it off, maybe she would understand. I never told her about Marcus. Well she knew that I had gotten my heart broken and that I was trying to heal from the aftereffects. Jeremy and my mother made sure not to bring him up in any way, afraid that I would run into the other room crying. Seriously it was ridiculous.

This was the last weekend before school began, and I knew that I would be swamped once Monday came around. This was Jeremy’s last year, and he would soon graduate, pass the bar, and go off on his merry way to become a successful attorney. I knew he’d be a great one. He wanted to practice contract law. I thought it was boring, but he has an eye for viewing documents and catching things that most people would miss, and he’s at great negotiating.

I wasn’t sure what type of law I wanted to practice once I finished. Maybe I’d start off in general law, doing a little bit of everything until I found out what I really wanted to do. I was viewing my roster that came in the mail. Criminal Law II and Ethics were my courses that semester. Fun …
not
.

“I have a
great
idea!” Megan burst through the door. Her ponytail swung side-to-side as she made her way over to me by the kitchen island. Raising my eyebrow, I watched as she threw her purse on top of the counter. She had a habit of coming in without knocking. I guess it was my fault for not locking the door.

“What’s your great idea?” I asked, placing my roster down.

Jerking straight up, she pressed her hands together with the biggest oh-my-God-no-one-could-possibly-be-this-happy grin. Shaking my head, I allowed her to continue. “We are going to Club21 tonight!” She began to do a jumping up and down dance.

“No!” Okay, so maybe I kind of overreacted, but there was no way I was going to
that
club. No way at all.

Her hands fell to the counter, and her lips pouted. “
Why
? I thought it would be great before you started school.”

Shaking my head, I was not backing down. “No, and out of all clubs why did you choose that one? Why can’t we go to where you work?”

“Because I called out sick tonight, so I could take you out. Besides, a co-worker of mine told me about Club21. Her cousin works for the owner, so she was able to get me VIP tickets.” She flashed that smile again as she pulled out two tickets from her back pocket.

“What’s her cousin’s name?” Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t care, but I did wonder if it was someone I knew or someone that was possibly new or his
ex
-assistant.
Grrrgh
.

“I don’t know, but she’s going to be there. Her cousin is throwing her a birthday bash. She really wanted me to go, and I thought it would be nice to take you out.” She pouted again. “Oh come on, Mia, you act like an eighty-year-old woman sometimes. You need to go out and have
fun
. You’re only twenty-four.
Gosh
, I would hate to see how you act when you’re thirty!”

I most certainly do not act like an eighty-year-old woman. I gave her a wicked glare for that rude comment. I’m just more laid back. Y
eah
, that’s it laid back. I’d rather sit at home, reading a book, or watching a movie, sipping on wine or coffee far away from the outside cruel world.
Oh
my God, I do act like an eighty-year-old woman! Narrowing my eyes at her, I watched as she placed her folded hands under her chin, pouting her lips and widening her eyes. She was giving me the most pathetic puppy face I’d ever seen. She even went as far as to whimper like a crying puppy.

“
Fine!
” Giving in, I rolled my eyes again.

She squealed and ran to my side, jumping up and down. “Oh we are going to have so much fun!”

I shot a pointed stare and brought a finger up, “
But
if I say let’s go, you have to promise me we go. Promise?”

“Of course, Mia, but I’m sure you’re not going to want to leave. I heard it’s a really nice place. Come on, let’s go
beautify
ourselves.
Oh
and I’ll need to borrow something of yours.” She bit down on her lip and then giggled. I shook my head, and we headed to my bedroom to “beautify” ourselves. I just hoped that night would go down smoothly.

****

“This is called a
club.
In here you can act your
age
.”

Megan’s sarcastic tone ripped through the pounding music and through my hazy daze. Since we walked in five minutes ago, I had done nothing but search around the dance floor, by the bars, up towards the VIP rooms, and everywhere else to see if I could find anyone I recognized. Well I was more eager to see if I could find
one
person I recognized; I could care less about anyone else.

“Huh? What? Oh, yeah, I know.” I returned my attention to her, and she rolled her eyes before grabbing two shot glasses from the bartender.

She handed me one. “Here, this should loosen you up.” Tossing her head back, she chugged down the shot without hesitating. She scrunched her face for a second and wiggled her shoulders. “That was good!”

Shrugging, I saluted with my glass and chugged back the shot. The warm liquid soothed my throat but burned once it reached my chest. I shimmied like Megan hoping, it would help the burn. It didn’t. I was also sure by her amused expression that I made a sourpuss face. “Atta girl!” she shouted over the loud music.

We took a few more shots before heading to our VIP room. Nothing was different: it was exactly how I remembered it. Megan’s co-worker, Jasmine, was completely hammered by the time we entered. Her cousin, the one who works for the DeLuca firm, was there as well. To my surprise, I didn’t recognize her. Thank God! She probably worked in one of the other departments.

After some shots and a few Cosmos, I was beginning to loosen up. I hadn’t felt this
good
in a while. The room was occupied by fifteen other girls. Jasmine wore a pink and zebra print sash with “Birthday Girl” printed in glitter across it. Her tiara was slanted on her head. It had been straight at one point during the night.

The other girls were close to my age, and I was surprised to learn that we had a lot in common. Who knew that girls were actually
fun
to be around? As the night progressed, I bravely danced with them on the dance floor, took more shots, played karaoke in our private room, took more shots, danced some more, and had more shots!

Before I knew it I was laughing,
really
laughing. I hadn’t had this much fun since … Well I couldn’t even remember when I had this much fun! I was being myself again—something I thought would never happen. It was as if the cure was tequila, music, and a girl’s night. Could it be possible that my life would go back to normal? Could I eventually go a day without crying over him? And then it hit me—no, not a reverie—the aching and pounding of my bladder. Standing, I made my way to Megan and grabbed her arm. “I have to go to the bathroom, come with me!” I yelled over the music. She nodded and grabbed her clutch.

No matter how modern and huge a club is, there is always a line at the ladies’ room. I was considering going to the first level where the dance floor was. Though not wanting to chance losing my spot, I stayed put. Staring at the men’s bathroom across from me, I even highly considered walking in. There was no line, and I had yet to see anyone go in or out. Megan must’ve sensed my thoughts as she stared also at the men’s bathroom door. “You thinking what I’m thinking?” I nodded.

“Come on then.” Grabbing my arm, she dragged me across the hall. Stretching her other hand, she reached for the door. Before she was able to touch it, the door swung open. Losing balance, she released my grip and fell into a firm athletic male. Megan’s scared-then-pleased expression forced me to burst into laughter. She giggled as she flexed her fingers along the muscular bicep. Looking over her shoulder at me, she wiggled her eyebrows. It made me laugh even harder. She finally looked up at the man she had landed on, and I followed her gaze.

My mouth dropped, and I stood frozen. My laughter instantly came to a halt, and I believe my heart stopped beating.

“Hello, Mia.” The familiar voice brought my chest back to life and sped up my heart. Extending his arms and firm grip around Megan’s shoulders, Jimmie pulled her away. She looked up at him and then back down at me.