Bent not Broken (182 page)

We lose it then, while Papa just shakes his head, looking amused. “Lord sakes, what did I miss?”

****

Fiona has come once a week since the Inn opened. Every time she comes she says she just needs to get away for a night, but I think she’s lonely in her big old house and likes our company.

“Caroline, this is the best coffee cake. I just can’t make it like this.”

“Ruby is the best cook in the whole wide world,” I boast.

“I’m inclined to agree,” Fiona says with a smile. “I’m bringing my grandson Bobby with me next time I come.”

She says this every time. He has yet to come.

“Bobby would think you’re a looker, all right.”

She also says this every time. And I change the subject every time.

“Would you like some coffee to carry out to the garden? It’s a pretty day out there.”

“He always has a book on him, just like you.”

And it never works.

“One can never have too many books.” I smile at her.

“You think you’d go out with him, Caroline? He needs a good girl like you.”

She studies my wild hair as she says it and I can see her mentally straightening it out once she has me hitched to her grandson.

“No, I don’t really date,” I tell her. “Now, I better get to work on that garden. Can I get you anything else before I head outside?”

“You better start if you want to have a family!” Fiona insists.

She slowly gets up from her chair and weakly pushes it to the table. She’s a tiny thing.

“I already have one.” I give her arm a squeeze. “In fact, I better get to my daughter right now,” I throw in for good measure.

“You have a daughter? I didn’t know you were married!” Fiona looks shocked and dismayed. “Where’s your husband?” She looks around, like he’ll suddenly appear out of the crown molding.

“I’m not,” I say quietly. “But I’ve got Gracie—you’ve probably seen her running around here, although we do try to keep her out of the guests’ way.”

I see it in her eyes when it registers.

“Oh,” she says. “Oh.” She takes a step back. “I thought she was Ruby’s grandbaby or something,” she says softly.

“Well, she pretty much is,” I say.

Her lip curls up and she looks at me with disgust. “Well, first of all, I feel physically sick for all the times I’ve thought you would be a nice girl for my Bobby,” she says. She shakes her head and looks like she just might vomit at the thought. “But second…you oughtta be ashamed of yourself—getting on with some colored boy like that, bringing a child into your sin…it’s just wrong! What a horrible mother, to bring a child into a world that will just be confused their whole life of where they really belong…which is nowhere.”

I double over when she says that. It physically takes my breath away and I can’t get it back. When she walks out of the room, I slide onto the floor and hold my head in my hands, trying to make sense of what just happened. I wish I could say her words just bounced off of me, like a penny pinging off the sidewalk. Bounce, bounce, bounce. But they don’t. Not the things she said about me—I left my pride in the fields long ago—but about my baby. God, I hope she isn’t right.

Gracie runs in the room just then or I might have continued my downward spiral. She sees me on the floor and crawls right in my lap.

“I love you, baby. Listen to Mama. You belong to
me
. You are just what I needed. And what Papa and Ruby needed. And I will always be helpin’ you find your place. Do you hear me?”

I hug her until she squirms. She grins from ear to ear and pats my cheeks and then she’s off again.

I finally get up and mentally shake off my shame. There’s no time for that. There’s too much to do.

Fiona checks out by 11 and that’s the last time we see her.

****

I haven’t tried to keep the truth about Gracie a secret, but I haven’t gone out of my way to draw attention to her either. It’s a sorrow that will always follow me, because I will never understand it. Never. And now I have a little one to protect. Every day I kiss her face and tell her I love her beautiful brown skin. I tell her she’s beautiful and just the way God made her—perfect. And after the Fiona episode, I’ve added in that she
belongs
. Just in case she ever doubts it.

But it’s a physical pain in my body that occurs every single time anyone says one word against my child. It hurts more than all the other painful things I’ve gone through put together…I guess that’s what it’s really like to be a mama. I never knew it would be that way.

The underground passageway Papa showed me that day serves as a reminder that there are people out there with twisted thoughts. And they might be dressed up in a nice suit or a pretty dress. They might be people at church or the old lady who works at the corner mart. Sadly, they might even be a friend.

But then there are people like Papa and Ruby, who have so much love in them. Their hearts are color-blind.

****

Davis Jones comes looking for work one gorgeous October morning. I’ve never seen him around town before, but he says he’s lived in Bardstown all his life. He looks to be around my age, give or take a year or two. We make small conversation and then he gets to the point.

“Do you have work, by any chance? I can do anything you don’t want to do around your property,” he tells Papa.

Papa looks at me.

“Those things
are
startin’ to add up,” he says.

We’ve been talking about needing to hire an extra hand for some of those things.

“I can fix anything, make it look and run good as new. Paint, uh…well, just whatever, I can do it,” he stops awkwardly and clears his throat. “I added the new patio over at Shelby’s…”

“Oh, that looks real nice!” Papa perks up. “
Real
nice. You did a fine job!”

I give Papa a subtle nod. I have a good feeling about Davis. I can tell Papa does too.

“Do we have enough work to keep him busy, Caroline girl?”

“Yes, sir, there’s the doors in those two bedrooms that need to close right and some painting around the house. We’ve talked about extending our patio too, but we might need to wait until next spring for that,” I tell Davis. “However…Papa—four-season porch!”

His eyes light up. He’s been dreaming about turning the screened porch into a four-season porch since our first breakfast out there.

Papa throws his hand out to Davis and they shake on it.

“Job’s yours,” Papa says.

Davis does the outside tour with Papa and when they come back in they’re ready for coffee. Ruby meets Davis then, and as soon as the cake comes out of the oven, Gracie’s head pops out of the little playroom we’ve set up off the kitchen.

“Gracie, this is Davis. Can you say hi to Davis?”

“Hi-to-Davis,” she says in one breath.

He leans down and shakes her hand. “Hi Gracie. I like your name.”

“I yike yoah name,” she repeats. Or maybe she means it. “Mama? I sit Todavis?”

We all laugh and then she does too.

“It’s just Davis, baby, and yes, I think he will let you sit by him.”

Davis shyly smiles at us both and nods. “I’d like that.”

The five of us squeeze in at the kitchen table to have a bite of orange marmalade cake with our coffee.

I think Davis will fit in around here just fine.

****

Truth is, I don’t know what we ever did without Davis. It’s only been a few weeks and already he has filled a void we didn’t even know we had. He finishes projects quickly but not without precision. He takes pride in his work but doesn’t seem to need validation or direction, he just sees what needs to be done and does it.

He’s a guy of few words, but the kindness is evident in everything he does say. And Gracie is crazy over him, so obviously he’s a good egg.

He’s in the kitchen before me every morning. Ruby won him over with that cake and right away, she knew she had someone else she loved to feed. He might be the only one who can out-eat me, that remains to be seen. We haven’t had a boiled shrimp dinner together yet.

This morning when Gracie and I come in, she hops out of my arms and runs to sit between Davis and Papa. They love on her and she eats it up.

I dish up some scrambled eggs and set the plate in front of her. I’m getting my plate ready and pouring coffee when I look back at the table. Papa and Davis have papers in front of them. “What are y’all workin’ on?”

They look at each other guiltily and my eyes narrow. “What are you up to?”

“Well, I thought about just doing it as a surprise, but that’s probably not gonna work since you’re so nosy.” Papa laughs and wipes his eyes. “Davis is gonna work on the attic, Caroline. I’ve had somethin’ cookin’, but want to know if you like the idea.”

He has me all curious now.

“Spill it!”

“Well, what do you think about making that for you and Gracie up there? It would give you so much space and you’d have the ceilings you like so much.”

He grins at me when my mouth drops open.

I poured over magazine after magazine with him while we were getting ready to open the Inn. Attic ceilings are my favorite thing in the world.

“I would love that!” Tears fill my eyes and I get embarrassed then. “
Thank
you. Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. It won’t take much to get it fixed up. It’s already insulated pretty well. There’s room enough for several bedrooms up there, so you and Gracie will have lots of space. And we can go through all the things up there in the next week or so before Davis gets started on the floor. That
is
gonna be a job.”

I shake my head. “You’re something else.” I go over and hug his neck and wipe my tears before they fall in his hair. “Thank you, Papa.”

“Oh, I’d do anything for my girls.” He pulls Gracie into our hug.

Ruby pats my back and smiles at me. “Who woulda thought we’d find a family like this?”

I reach over and hug her. The tears keep coming. “God must have known we needed a do-over!”

“Speaking of Caroline’s room, Ruby, I was thinking you’d probably like to move into that one…give you more room too.”

Ruby looks at me and then Papa and back to me. And then she starts to blubbering.

“I ain’t never had so much love in all my life. I am filled to the tips of my toes with all the goodness,” she cries. “I love the room I’s in. It’s the most beautiful room I ever did have. I wouldn’t know what to do with all that space in hers,” she cries. “But the fact that you said it, Dr. H, that means the world to me. It do.”

“Well, maybe if you moved to Caroline’s old room, Davis here could move into yours…” Papa looks at Davis with his eyebrows raised.

Davis looks up with a stunned expression. His top lip gives a little tremble. Oh my, we’re a mess this morning.

Papa says quietly, “I don’t know your story, Davis, and I don’t have to know...but I know you need a place. You’re welcome here in this hodgepodge of a family.”

Davis shocks us all by wrapping his arms around Papa and then grabbing me and Ruby. Gracie is squished in the middle, but she doesn’t mind. She knows it doesn’t get any better than this.

Chapter 25

Isaiah

“Do you have that last kitchen box, Isaiah?” I hear Mama calling from the dining room.

“Yes, ma’am. Right here.” I pass her and take the box to the kitchen.

“Thank you, son. It’s coming together! Look at this pretty view out our window.”

“Mm-hmm.”

I look out where she’s pointing but can’t really focus.

We’ve moved again. Someone set our house on fire in Tulma a little over a year and a half ago. I wanted to be there in case Caroline ever came back, but Mama never felt safe there again. Everyone—even the police—knew it was Les’s family, but they never found any proof, so we got out of there. We decided on Memphis after I brought Mama on one of my trips and she liked it, but it took time to find a house that we could afford. It’s a lot more expensive here.

We like it here, far better than Tulma. I’m in my second year at the U of M, studying business, so I can run my own construction company. During the summers, I’ve worked with Dan Carson ever since he sobered up.

When Caroline first left, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Anytime Tulma started suffocating me, I’d drive over to Memphis and check on Dan. That first weekend when I found him was hell. I didn’t even know if he’d remember me when I went back the second time, but he did. He let me in the door every time. I raged against him for leaving his daughter. He agreed he was a worthless son of a bitch. I talked maniacally about Caroline, while he wept maniacally. We’ve been a mess together ever since. Except he’s gotten so much better.

I guess I’m better too, but it’s like she’s looking over my shoulder, or just around the corner, just far enough out of my reach that I
feel
her, but when I look, she’s not there. It’s how I imagine it would feel to be haunted by a ghost.

“Isaiah?” Mama’s hand is waving in front of my face.

I blink. “Sorry, Mama. What were you saying?”

She shakes her head and puts her hand on my arm. “It’s time to move on, son. A new start. We’re settled…doesn’t it feel good? This is our home now, we don’t have to look back or move in a few months…we can just look ahead. Right?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“Why don’t I believe you? You still have that distant look in your eye that lets me know you’re not fully here with me yet.” She lays her head over on my shoulder. “I know you wish you could find her…but…I don’t think she wants to be found.”

Her words burn a hole in my chest. I know she’s right.

“Dan still looks for her too. He wants to make it right with her.”

“As he should…but you’re a different story. He left her;
she
left
you
.”

“But she thought she was doing what was best for me. She was scared. I know she needs me.”

“She did do what was best for you. You didn’t need the heartache of fighting with someone at every restaurant you go in or the glares you’d see whenever you held hands walking down the street. Neither one of you did. Neither one of you need to go through any more hardship. Life has dealt you both enough of that without having it every day, staring you in the face.”