Beneath the Twin Moons of Haldae (7 page)

“I know,” Kris interrupted him, keeping as calm as he could. “By asking me in here you accepted me as a man. You will have to accept my word too.”

Again, he let the threat of his wounded honor hang over the room. Again, it was Elder Aliana who calmed things down.

“We don’t say you’re lying, of course not. What we wonder is, what if
she
is lying? What if she has seen more than she lets on?”

Kris shook his head. “She couldn’t—”

Elder Aliana kept her smile, but her voice strengthened. “Ah, but it’s the job of spies to see more than we believe they do. I think we’ll need to assess her ourselves.”

Around the table, her peers nodded their approval. Elder Sarly stood and walked to the door; opening it, he addressed the guard on the other side. “Prepare the children’s chamber and lead our… guest there.”

Repressing a curse, Kris stood, his hands flat on the table in front of him. “I want to be there.”

“It is not necessary—” Elder Aliana started with a smile.

“But it is my right.”

“You are not a part of the
circle
yet,” Elder Domka pointed out, sounding on the edge of exasperation.

Kris didn’t back down. “It is only a formality. By shifting to my final form, I became a man. I am a member of the First Family. These two things combined make me a part of the
circle
of Elders, not the smelly herbs and chants of a ceremony.”

Shocked and resentful eyes turned toward him from all around the room. The
circle
did not look kindly on anyone who tried to deny its power or history. At the same time, Kris was right, and they knew it.

“Of course you can attend,” Elder Sarly said with a thin smile. “But you’re much too involved in the proceedings to be allowed to participate. I call on a vote to silence
Elder
Kris when we question the stranger.”

“Seconded.”

The vote only took a few seconds. It was unanimo
us. Kris wasn’t happy, but he consoled himself with the thought that, at least, he would be there for Zaren.

Chapter 7

Unexpected

Sitting on the ground beneath the roof of leaves Kris had woven for her, Zaren sighed in boredom. With nothing to do other than watch the rain fall and munch on the fruits Kris had been picking as they walked, time seemed to stretch on and on. Though it couldn’t have been raining for more than an hour, to Zaren it felt like much longer.

Suddenly, the past two days felt like an acute waste of time. If only she had had anything to record her observations or even take notes… If only she had had the means to make Kris understand her, and to understand him in return… There was so much she wanted to ask him, so much she wanted to know about him.

The thought made her frown. She shook her head lightly to call herself to order. There was much she wanted to know about the
planet
. That was all. She was learning to observe and report on untouched civilizations. That was what she had set out to do, wasn’t it? She had wanted to discover new places, new worlds, and figure out where she belonged. Personal questions to her guide were not part of the equation, especially when she wasn’t even authorized to make contact. And still…

With a small groan of frustration, Zaren buried her face in her hands once more. Authorized or not, whether it was part of her job or not, she didn’t want to ask him about his people. She wanted to ask about him. Why he was alone in the woods. Why he kept disappearing when they stopped for a moment. Why he was so kind to her when he knew little more than her name.

Part of her wanted to think that it was in his people’s nature to help others, to be generous and welcoming. Another part was sure it was just who
he
was. It was in
his
nature to be kind—and not to everybody, but to her. She felt a little silly for even thinking it, but she liked to believe that he was helping her because he liked her.

But then, if he liked her, why did he keep leaving her alone?

She shook her head again. These kinds of thoughts weren’t helping anything. Neither was her attraction to him. Soon, she’d be going home, and she’d be in enough trouble then without having to explain why she had let herself become too close to a native.

But what if she wasn’t going home, whispered a little voice inside her, and she felt a pang of something that wasn’t completely fear.

A gust of wind shook the makeshift shelter. Zaren shivered and rubbed the goose bumps on her sleeveless arm. She wished she could start a fire, but the smoke would fill the shelter right away, and she didn’t have dry wood anyway. Digging into the fruit bag, she pulled out the blanket she had taken from the cave and wrapped it around herself. Just as she was settling again, she froze. She thought she had seen something outside. She looked again, squinting as though looking more intently would dispel the curtain of rain that made everything seem gray.

Her throat tightened. Not everything
seemed
gray. Some things
were
gray. Like the fur of the large wolf crouching a few paces from the shelter.

A flash of fear coursed through her once more. It was the same wolf again, she told herself, pushing back her panic and holding on to her shredded calm by her fingernails. She recognized it. And if it hadn’t attacked her so far, it stood to reason it wouldn’t attack her now. Even the first time, in the water when they had been so close, it could have bitten her but it hadn’t even tried.

She fingered the torn edge of her sleeve absently beneath the blanket and frowned. Suddenly it occurred to her that it might not have been in the water to hurt her—but on the contrary, to help her. If it had grabbed her sleeve and pulled her to the shore, that might explain how her garment had been torn. The fabric was usually very resistant.

Still frowning, she peered at the wolf intently, her fear now forgotten. The wolf was lying down at the foot of a tree, its head resting on its extended paws. It was soaked, but the rain didn’t seem to bother it. It looked back at Zaren without moving, the intensity of its dark eyes only broken when it blinked. It couldn’t be a coincidence that it kept appearing whenever Kris left her alone. It certainly looked like a wolf, but its behavior was more like that of a dog. Maybe it belonged to Kris. Maybe Kris hadn’t been leaving her alone, after all, and had left the wolf with her to keep guard.

Maybe she was deluding herself. But for some reason the thought that the wolf was there for her when Kris couldn’t be was even nicer than the realization that it probably wouldn’t attack.

* * * *

Beneath her shelter, wrapped in a blanket, Zaren suddenly smiled. Kris was so surprised he raised his head, tilting it sideways to try to get a better look at her. Was he imagining things or was she really smiling?

Moments earlier, he had caught a whiff of her scent, and it had held the acridness of fear. He knew she was afraid of his wolf form, and he would have remained out of sight if he could have. He didn’t dare, though. Shifting had been different, this time, maybe because he had fought back the change for so long. It would be easy to forget who he was, forget he was human, and give himself totally to the wolf.

He would need to do that, eventually. That was the only way to settle on his final form, and by now he was almost certain that it would be the wolf. He couldn’t afford to do it now, however, not when Zaren was so close, not when her scent was all he could smell even under the heavy rain. If he let go of himself now, he might hurt her. He would rather let his mind be torn apart than risk it.

Remaining here, close to her, close enough that he could see her, was the best way he had found to cling to his human mind. The only way. He hated that she was scared of him, but at least her fear helped him remember why he had to remain focused.

But this smile…

Why was she smiling, he wondered, astonished. Her eyes were still on him, and she didn’t move when he raised his head. If anything, he would have expected her to reach for the knife yet again, as if such a weapon would stop a wolf his size from attacking anyone. But no, she wasn’t reaching for the knife, wasn’t doing anything but looking at him. Smiling.

Somehow, the thought that she wasn’t scared of him anymore made him happy. He hated the scent of her fear. And it was just as effective for keeping his mind to wonder what had changed to make her smile as it was to worry about hurting her.

Another half hour passed before the rain finally let up. When it did, Kris stood and shook the water out of his fur before trotting out of sight so he could change back to his human form. It wasn’t as difficult as he had feared; maybe the urge to shift again wouldn’t become too strong too fast, this time.

He returned to Zaren, and found her in front of the shelter, still wrapped in her blanket. Her head thrown back, she was peering up at the sky, barely visible through the canopy of leaves above them. She looked at him as he approached, and her lips curved onto a smile much brighter than the one she had given him as a wolf. Still smiling, she said his name. Something fluttered in Kris’ stomach. He cleared his throat and indicated the way with a slightly shaky hand.

* * * *

Ilona Brink stood, poised and graceful. Her eyes swept the room before resting on Zaren. Immediately, Zaren dropped her gaze, looking down at the glass and pitcher in front of her. She refilled her glass before taking a sip. She was almost surprised by how good the water felt, even tepid as it was. Her throat was parched. How long had she been talking? She drank again.

“We’ve been at it for a long time now,” Brink was saying. “Why don’t we take a break? Let’s start again in fihen again fteen minutes.”

As she looked up again, Zaren almost wanted to ask the council to keep going with the hearing. She wanted it to be done and over with. She wanted them to decide if she had been at fault and put an end to her fears, one way or the other. They were already leaving the room, however, and there was nothing she could do to hold them back.

Loic rested a hand on her shoulder as he stood. “Go out and get some fresh air. You’re as pale as though you were space-bound.”

She tried to answer his grin in kind, but doubted she produced anything close to a smile. Taking his advice, she stepped out of the room and found her way to the gardens. Specimens gathered on a multitude of worlds greeted her with a symphony of colors and scents. Somehow, though, they weren’t nearly as beautiful as Haldae’s woods, so lush in her memory. Sitting on a stone bench, she pulled out her communicator and slipped it in her ear to listen to her messages.

Her mother’s voice was first. She sounded cheerful, but the fact that she called in the first place meant she had guessed Zaren was anxious.

“Hello, sweetie. Just called to see how your hearing is going. Your father says hi, too. Let us know when it’s over, we’ll come pick you up and go for dinner or something.”

She sighed. Whatever the outcome, she doubted she would feel like having a fancy dinner when she was done here.

The next message was from one of her friends. She was a trainee as well, and had been on a mission ever since Zaren’s rescue.

“Hey, girl! I heard. Every trainee I know is talking about you! Give me a call when you’ve got time. I want to hear all about your big adventure!”

With yet another sigh, Zaren pulled the communicator out of her ear and shut it off. She wished it could have been as easy as her friend made it sound. She wished she could have told someone about all of it—told someone how her heart felt like it had been torn from her chest.

“This is a beautiful place, isn’t it?”

Startled, Zaren looked up to see Ilona Brink approach her. She was barefoot beneath her long robes, Zaren noticed with a jolt of surprise.
It reminded her of Kris and her heart ached.

“Peaceful, too,” Brink continued when Zaren didn’t reply.

She came to the bench and sat beside Zaren. They were silent for a little while. Uncomfortable, Zaren wondered what to say or even whether to stay there. Surely if Brink wanted to resume questioning her, they would have returned to the chambers?

Just as Zaren was about to stand and excuse herself, Brink cleared her throat quietly and said, her voice warm an
d forgiving, “I doubt you have realized it yet, but this is not going too well for you. What is it you’re not telling us, child?”