Beneath the Palisade (22 page)

“It’s starting to get really beautiful, isn’t it?” The respect for the landscape was impossible to miss in Ian’s voice.

“Yes. I can’t believe how different it looks here, and we’re only a few hours out of the city. Does it look like this where you grew up?” He had a million questions for Ian floating around in his head, and the answers couldn’t come soon enough. He had been trained to replace unknowns with fact. The more he knew about Ian, the more comfortable and relaxed he would feel in their relationship.

“Yeah, in a way it does. What I miss most about home are the wooded hills and valleys and the beautiful clear lakes. You’ll see. We’ll plan a trip there sometime soon. If it works out, we’ll try and make it back for the reunion. I haven’t heard anything about it yet. Some years we just skip it. Not sure why. Our immediate family usually figures out a time in the summer to get together.”

What was Ian’s family like? He wanted very much to meet them. He longed to be included in their plans. To be a part of them. He’d heard bits and pieces here and there, but it wasn’t enough. It was in his nature to speculate, to formulate an image, and based on what he’d learned from Ian, he pictured the Burke family as loving and caring. Simple, in a way meant to compliment. Ian had values, deep-rooted traits Harper recognized from his own upbringing. There were things in life that mattered and many more that didn’t. He felt confident both he and Ian had been blessed with a knack for valuing what really counted. Maybe this shared knowledge would help them navigate through their years together with more joy than pain.

“Harper, what are we doing today?” Ian remained snuggled up close.

“I’m trying to sort that one out myself.” He was thankful Ian had initiated the conversation. Where and how to fit it into the day had eluded him, but nevertheless, he knew it was an important talk they needed to have.

“Here’s what I’m thinking.” Ian moved himself over to his side of the seat. “I think there’re some questions we need to ask each other, answer them as best we can, and go from there. The biggest one in my mind right now is, are we both willing to give up our lives in the city and relocate? I’ll go first, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind. What’ve you been thinking?”

“We’re relatively young. The way I look at this, it’s nothing that has to last forever. To me, it’s more of an adventure.” Ian adjusted the air vent so it blew directly on him. “Where I run into a problem is when I think of this in permanent terms. I’m game for adventure, but I’m not necessarily seeking a permanent change. Some aspects of my life I could easily say goodbye to, others not so much. So if I approach this as temporary, it’s easy for me to deal with now.”

“Have you thought about this enough to elaborate?”

“Yeah, I think… so….” Ian sneezed. “Excuse me. I would miss having my friends close by. I really depend on them. Having you in my life will make being distanced from them easier, but it still would be tough. Does that make sense?”

Did it ever. Despite his attempts to not go there, it produced a pang of jealousy he was ashamed of. It brought to light the fact friends hadn’t mattered much to him before meeting Ian. How could he have been so blind? “Ian, seeing you with your friends was a revelation to me. I hate to admit this, but on a very selfish level, it makes me kind of jealous. Well, jealous and sad. I should have paid more attention to nurturing friendships along the way.”

“You don’t need to go there, Harper. We’re not identical twins, and I hope we never will be. We all have different needs. I can flip that around and admit jealousy in seeing how devoted and dedicated you’ve been to your career. I’ve never had that kind of focus.” Ian reached over and squeezed his shoulder.

“Would not having your friends close by be a showstopper?” He braced himself for Ian’s response.

“No. Part of me hates living in the city. I’m happy enough with all I have going on so I don’t think about it that often. But I sure do miss what we’re looking at now. I miss the north woods. It’s a big part of who I am. Can you imagine growing up with all this beauty surrounding you? Some of the kids hated it. I didn’t. You know, it’s funny, I think that’s why Andy and I became such good friends.” Ian laughed. “You think we bopped each other in the woods and frolicked through the meadows naked. You were thinking that, weren’t you?”

“It hadn’t entered my mind until now. Did you fuck each other silly in the woods? That’s kind of hot.”

“Yeah, we tried everything. The woods were a great place to explore. Darn, now you ruined it.”

“I did not ruin it. You did. You’re kind of edgy and sensitive today, Ian Poo. What’s up with that?”

His inquiry was met with silence. He had meant for his comment to be more of a tease, not an accusation. Now he wasn’t sure how it had been received. Better to let this one flop around for a while before pursuing it.

“I’m thinking ahead.” Ian shifted in his seat and continued to look out the passenger window. “In my mind, I already have us relocated to the North Shore. I can see us running our B&B as clearly as if we were actually doing it. I have a hard time separating fantasy from reality sometimes.”

Owning and operating a B&B was an idea Harper was more than willing to pursue. Unlike Ian, he hadn’t ventured much further than that. Ian had already projected himself there.
Maybe that’s the way he processes change. Interesting.
“Ian, placing yourself in the scene isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
I’ll do the same thing, but it won’t be until it’s a done deal.
Ian’s test driving.
“In a way, you’re already living the change. Contemplating and evaluating how this change will compare to what you have going on now. I think that’s an amazing technique.”

“Sometimes it can be a real pain in the ass. I get these preconceived notions of what something is going to be like, and when it’s not what I’ve envisioned, well, I don’t do so well.” Ian chuckled, sounding relieved he’d gotten that off his chest.

“I look at today as a fact-finding mission. We have this idea that might work, might not. Let’s see what… oh my God….”

“Oh God, what?” Ian swung his body around so he could see.

“Tiffany Marks. The billboard.”

“Holy smokes, are those ever going to be lost on us.” Ian looked over, awestruck.

“No kidding.”

Tiffany Marks, the realtor Brent had hooked them up with, had clearly identified her marketing strengths—a pair of gargantuan breasts. Like marsupials nestled snug inside their mother’s pouch, Tiffany’s crowd pleasers stretched her fuzzy pink angora sweater to the limit.

“Wow!” He giggled. “I don’t know what else to say. Does it have anything to do with storing energy to help get through the long winter?”

“Stop it, Harper.” Ian laughed. “I can’t go there or I’ll never make it through our meeting. Besides, tits that big can be a disability.”

“Oh, I know,”—he fought hard to control himself—“but something tells me she’s coping just fine.”

A small sign announced they were entering an accident reduction area.

“Don’t say it.” He and Ian weathered another round of uproarious snorts and silly laughter.

“Oh man, this is going to be tough,” Ian admitted when he was finally able to talk again.

“How about you go in and I’ll wait in the car.”

“Not a chance,” Ian protested. “We have to face our demons.”

“Wow! I don’t know, this could be bad.”

“She’s probably very sensitive to people’s reactions to them,” Ian cautioned.

“Shut up. You’re not helping.”

The tension in the car generated by Tiffany’s big sisters was thick enough to slice with a knife. It got worse when Harper exited the freeway and turned onto the county road leading them to her office. He didn’t dare chance a word for fear it would set off another round of debilitating hysterics. It was likely Ian had fallen silent for the same reason. One could only hope poor Tiffany had a good sense of humor. There was little doubt in his mind she was going to need it.

I
AN
braced himself. They had sat in the parking lot of Marks Realty for as long as they dared, until the fear of being noticed got the best of them.

“You ready?” Harper asked in a shaky voice a few feet from the entrance.

“I have a plan. If we go off in there, we’ll make some dumb excuse a friend of ours called on the way up and told us something really funny.”

Harper turned in his tracks and headed back to the car. “You call that a plan?”

“Come back here. This was your idea, not mine.”

He waited for Harper to join him at the door. “Listen, we don’t know this broad from Adam… Eve, I mean. If we blow this, we blow it. We’ll just get up and leave. No skin off our butts, right?”

“Okay, I’m all over that. And we’ll send flowers or something if it’s real bad.” Harper coughed and needlessly adjusted his T-shirt.

“Ready?” Ian stepped up to the door, rubbing his hands together.

“Ready.” Harper stepped in front, opening the door, forcing Ian to enter first.

The little waiting area was tastefully decorated in a variety of beige tones. A large reception desk filled most of the room. A small seating area was arranged on the opposite side with a large potted plant separating the two spaces. There wasn’t a soul in sight.

“Are you sure she knows we’re coming?” He looked over to Harper for a confirmation.

“Brent set up the appointment last week. He’s usually very efficient when it comes to this kind of thing. Let’s sit down for a minute and see if anyone comes out.” Harper sat in the seat nearest the window.

With an overabundance of caution, Ian took the seat furthest away from Harper. Several minutes passed before they heard the sound of a toilet flushing. No way was he going to chance a look in his companion’s direction. Footsteps on the beige Berber signaled the arrival of someone. Once again, he braced himself.

Unless she’d undergone a radical makeover, the woman who entered the room could never have been confused with Tiffany. Gangly, she had absolutely no chest. Dark brown polyester slacks battled a turquoise and purple satin top. The lady’s hair was stringy gray-blond, and if any makeup had been applied, it was impossible to detect. Thick round glasses completed the look.

“Hello, I hope you haven’t been waiting long. Breakfast hasn’t agreed with me, if you know what I mean.”

Harper stood. “Hello, I’m—”

“Ian Burke.” The woman cut him off. “Is that you, Ian?”

Harper looked over for an explanation.

“I’m Ian,” he answered, unsure of what was happening.

“Ian Burke, well I can’t believe it. You don’t know who I am, do you?” The woman chuckled, stepping in front of the desk.

“I’m sorry, I don’t. Do we know each other?” There wasn’t a single thing about her familiar to him.

“Well, it’s been a few years now, but we went to school together. I’m Eunice Larson. You haven’t changed a bit.”

Eunice Larson? Oh God, really? You’re Eunice Larson?

“Of course, Eunice! Eunice Larson…. Harper, this is Eunice Larson.” He hoped his face somehow communicated to Harper how unwelcome this unexpected reunion was. “She and I went to school together. Can you believe that?”
I can’t. “
Eunice, this is my partner, Harper Callahan. Harper… this is… Eunice.”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you.” Harper smiled, nodded, and sat back down, leaving Ian to deal with Eunice on his own.

I’ll get you for this.

“Ian Burke, you look great. He probably knows this,” Eunice purred. “I had quite the crush on this guy back then. He was such a stinker. Wouldn’t have a thing to do with me.”

“He’s still a stinker,” Harper piped back.

“Well, as you can see,” Eunice warbled on, stepping around to the other side of the desk, “I wasn’t about to confine myself to little old Buchannan. Not this girl. I need to be where the action is. Took some classes in real estate and never looked back.”

“Well,”—Ian staggered over and sat in the seat next to Harper—“I’m glad things have worked out for you.” There wasn’t much he could say. Eunice had achieved her goal, and he was happy for her. She hadn’t been given much to work with.

“Oh, Ms. Marks called a few minutes ago. She was tied up on a closing, but she’s on her way back from Duluth. Shouldn’t be more than a few minutes, I would think. Do either of you care for coffee? We have some diet soda in back too.”

“I’m good. Harper?” He wasn’t thirsty. He wasn’t anything. He was numb.

“A diet soda, please.”

“Be right back. Ian Burke, I can’t believe it,” she mumbled on her way out of the reception area.

“Wow. Small world, huh?” Harper jabbed him in the ribs.

“Too small.” He slapped Harper’s hand away. “Eunice Larson—”

“She’s still sweet on you.” Harper gave him another jab.

Before he had a chance to counter, the door to the office swung open and Tiffany Marks made her entrance.

“Gentleman, I’m so sorry for keeping you waiting. I’m Tiffany. And you are… let me guess, Harper?”

“Harper Callahan.” Harper extended his hand.

“Nice to meet you. That makes you Ian, right?” Tiffany winked.

“Ian Burke, nice to meet you.”

“Terrific. Has Eunice been out to greet you?”

“Boy, has she ever.” Harper was on a roll.

“Good. Let’s head back to my office, and we can discuss what you have in mind.”

Ian shot Harper his best “you better behave yourself” look and followed Ms. Marks down the hall. Her boobs didn’t seem quite as big in person. He made a note to ask Harper if he thought she’d had them digitally enhanced. He couldn’t help but notice the restroom door was closed.
Poor Eunice.
Rounding the corner, Harper pinched his ass so hard he yelped.

“Everyone doing okay back there?” Tiffany asked over her shoulder.

“Just excited is all,” Harper answered.

“Okay.” Tiffany motioned them into her office. Another celebration of beige. “You guys take a seat, and let’s get busy. What can I do for you?”

Ian shot Harper another look. He hoped, without any confusion, it would communicate to him he’d better start talking if he knew what was good for him.