Beloved Beast (8 page)

“I
don’t believe it!”
said Crissy, shaking her head. “You’ve saved my life several times, dealt with the worst of the Mafiosi, fought with an alligator and now you’re saying that you’re
afraid of flying
?”

“Can you just be quiet and pour me another whisky,
please
?” groaned Ramon and he leaned back in his seat, eyes closed.

“Where are we flying to anyway? Rio?”

“No. Campinas.”

“Does your family live there?”

“Not right there. We have to drive for another two hours – can you pour me another one? I think it’s working a bit.”

“Do you want to be drunk when you arrive in Campinas? You’re already tipsy.”

“Don’t argue with me, Crissy,” snarled Ramon.

Crissy sighed and poured another drink into Ramon’s glass. She looked around the luxurious private jet. It felt more like a lounge in a villa rather than an aeroplane cabin. The bathroom alone was big enough to hold a party in. This could not be compared with the narrow, unpleasant toilets on charter planes.

“Your friend must have a lot of dosh,” she said.

“His family is one of the wealthiest in Saudi Arabia,” explained Ramon.

“Ah, I thought he had something Arabic about him. I just thought that they always wore those head-cloths.”

“Djamal was born and raised in Florida. He’s more western than many Americans are.”

“How did you meet him? He hasn’t got anything to do with the Mafia, has he?”

“No, he deals in straight business. At least, no more dodgy than all other big businesses. I got to know him years ago at a horse racing event. We got on straight away. I haven’t seen him for a long time.”

“And yet you were sure that he’d help us?”

“Djamal would give up his last shirt for me. I once helped him with a young stallion that couldn’t be tamed.”

“You can deal with horses?”

“Yes, horses and dogs like me – even if they’re complete monsters with everyone else. Even Mario’s guard dogs were like lap dogs with me,” laughed Ramon. “That used to make Mario so angry. He was so proud of his clever rottweiler.”

A blond air hostess appeared in the cabin.

“We’re landing shortly,” she said.

“Thank you,” answered Ramon, relieved.

Crissy stood at the open window and looked out into the dark night. It was muggy. There was not a breath of air. She could hear only the sound of the crickets. Everything was so quiet and tranquil.

Ramon stepped up behind her and put his arms around her. He put his chin on her head.

“Your family’s really nice,” said Crissy.

“They like you. They’ll take good care of you.”

“Please don’t go,” she whispered. “You can’t leave me here alone. I need you. Please!”

He turned her around in his arms and looked at her.

“I’ll stay for a while longer. But I can’t stay forever. It’s better this way.”

He kissed her with great tenderness. Her heart was aching and she hugged him, sobbing. They sank down to the floor and tore one another’s clothes off. Ramon pulled Crissy up onto his lap, so that she sat facing him, and he entered her. Crissy wrapped her legs around his hips and threw her head back, so that he could caress the sensitive part of her throat. He bit playfully into her neck and she giggled.

“I like it when you play the vampire,” she teased.

Urged on by these words, Ramon continued with his nibbling caresses along her neck to her ear lobes.

“Come on, ride me, babe,” he murmured into her ear before he began to tease her ear with his tongue.

Crissy got goose bumps and shuddered. She began to move rhythmically and Ramon spurred her on until they both climaxed, before Crissy fell on top of him, sweating and out of breath.

When Crissy’s period did not arrive at the usual time she blamed the upset of the last few weeks, but when, on the third morning, she was sick, she gradually began to realise that she could be pregnant. This thought filled her with mixed emotions. On the one hand she was pleased about it, but on the other hand Ramon was still determined to leave her soon. They had enjoyed every minute of the last three weeks together, in the clear knowledge that it was about to end.

Would the fact that she was expecting a child make him change his mind? Surely he would want to see his child grow up. She began to feel a sense of hope and she wondered anxiously when and how she should best tell him. It was so important that she did not make a mistake now. The child may be her last chance of persuading the man that she loved to stay.

Crissy snuggled into Ramon’s arms. Her heart was still beating heavily from the love act and she was flustered because she had decided to tell him about the baby today. To be certain, she had bought herself a pregnancy test in the village and she had done the test straight away. The result had confirmed her suspicion. She was expecting Ramon’s child.

Ramon sighed and hugged her tighter.

“Crissy, I’ll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning,” he said
hoarsely.

Crissy’s heart nearly stopped beating and she felt sick. Tears filled her eyes.  

“I … I wanted to tell you something this evening,” she sobbed. “I’d hoped …”

“Crissy, please. Be reasonable. I’ve explained my reasons to you. I’ll go, no matter what you say. I can’t stay with you. It wouldn’t be good – not for either of us. After a while you’ll see that.”

Crissy jumped off the bed.

“You can’t go! Not now that …” She put her hands over her face and sobbed.

“Now what?”

She took her hands away from her face and looked at him in despair from her tear-filled eyes.

“Now you’re going to be a father!” she cried.

Ramon looked at her, stunned.

“You … you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, you hare-brained ass-hole!”

“But how …”

“
How
? Do I need to explain that to you? You damn well knew what could happen when you put your damn cock into me!”

Ramon jumped off the bed, too and began to dress quickly.

“Where are you going?”

“I need air!”

Just in trousers, grabbing his shirt, he rushed out of the room and slammed the door shut. The sound of the slamming door cut Crissy’s heart in two. This was not how she had imagined it. She collapsed in despair and sobbed helplessly until the door opened and Marina, Ramon’s aunt, came into the room and helped her back into bed.

“My poor girl,” she murmured, and covered Crissy up carefully. “I wish I could help you. Juan and I have tried to talk with him but he’s always been obstinate. He is so afraid of emotions. This silly boy.”

“I had … I had hoped that at least because of … because of the baby …”

“You’re pregnant?”

“Crissy sobbed. She could not speak, so she nodded.

“And he’s still going to leave tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. He ran out of the room. But I’m afraid …”

“Be sure that Juan and I will now definitely persuade him. Now just get some rest. In your condition all this excitement is not good. I’ll bring you some hot milk.”

Later Crissy heard Ramon return. Juan and Marina were clearly in the kitchen because she heard Juan telling Ramon to sit down. Crissy crept to the door, her heart pounding and she opened it a little so that she could listen to the conversation.

“Marina’s told me that the little one is pregnant. Is that right?” asked Juan.

“Yes, that’s right. At least, that’s what she told me today.”

“What do you plan to do now?” Marina joined in.

“I’ll leave early tomorrow,” answered Ramon tersely, and looked past Juan. He had gone over everything during the last two hours. The best thing for him to do was leave. The child should not grow up with a monster as a father.

Juan banged his hand down onto the table.

“You
damn
bastard! I had rated you with more decency and guts than that! If you shagged her and the kid is yours, then you need to deal with it!” he shouted, outraged.

“He’s right,” said Marina, somewhat more quietly. “You must think of the child now.”

“I am!” said Ramon, quietly but firmly. “I think I’m the only one here who’s really thinking of the child. How much do you think the child’s going to suffer if its father’s a monster? It’ll be bullied and Crissy will suffer, too. I’m only doing what’s best for everyone. I’ll fulfil my responsibilities. You should know me better than that, uncle. I’ll send Crissy enough money every month for her to be able to afford a beautiful house and a nice life. When the child is old enough I’ll pay for a private school for him or her. It’ll have everything it needs. And Crissy will be a wonderful mother to the child.”

“The child just won’t have a
father
” said Marina disapprovingly.

“I’ve already told Crissy that she’ll find a better man at some point,” said Ramon urgently.

“She loves you!” Marina gently objected.

“And I love her. I love her more than my life – her and the child. They will always be in my heart,” said Ramon hoarsely. “It would be selfish of me to stay here and have them for myself. I can’t offer them a normal life. Please don’t try to change my mind. I’ll do what I think is right.”

“I can’t say that I think your decision is right, but I do understand,” said Juan. “We will look after them.”

“That’s why I brought her here,” said Ramon. “Thank you. As soon as I can I’ll set up a standing order with the bank so that she gets enough money every month. Also, please help her to find a house. When you’ve found one, tell me and I’ll deal with paying for it and putting it in her name. You have my email address. I’ll check it once a week.”

“You can count on us,” said Juan.

Marina was sobbing. Reproachfully, she looked first at Ramon, then at her husband, before leaping up.

“
Men
!” she bellowed. “I don’t understand you! What was the Lord God thinking when he created you with so little sense and feeling.”

Crying loudly she ran out of the room.

Crissy stood at the door, her heart pounding. Tears streamed down her face. She could not believe what she had just heard. Why was he so damn obstinate? She could
damn well
decide herself whether she was prepared to live with a monster, and she was! She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Quietly, she closed the door and staggered over to the bed, her legs shaking. A while later she heard the door opening and Ramon came into the room. He undressed and slipped into bed next to her.

“Crissy,” he whispered.

She turned slowly towards him and looked at him. He had tears in his eyes, that shimmered by the light of the moon pouring into the room. He leant over her and lowered his mouth to her lips. First he kissed her very gently, then the despair that he was feeling took control of him and he kissed her like madly. Their tears combined and gave the kiss a salty taste. He moved between her legs and entered her. They made love with all the desperate yearning and sadness that they were feeling. Deep scratches covered Ramon’s back where Crissy had dug her nails into his flesh. As she climaxed, she knew why people called the orgasm a ‘
little death’
, because she felt that she had almost lost consciousness. Ramon called out her name, as he lost himself in her and shortly after that they fell asleep with exhaustion, tightly wrapped around one another.

When Crissy woke up the bed was empty next to her.

“No!” she cried out in desperation.

That could not be. He could not have left. Her heart pounded against her chest and she felt dizzy. She sat up and held her head. Everything was turning. She heard someone coming into the room and rushing to her bed.

“Sweet Crissy,” she heard Marina say. “Is everything OK? Say something. Crissy? – Juan!”

Juan rushed into the room.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know,” sobbed Marina. “She’s in trauma, I think. Fetch the doctor. Hurry!”

“I
think I’ve
found them,” said the detective.

Crissy’s face lit up.

“Really?” she said and closed her eyes for a moment. That’s good news. Can we go there straight away?”

“Yes, of course. I figured on that and I’ve booked a boat for today.”

“I’m just popping up to my room. I want to get changed. I’ll be back down in half an hour. Order anything you want.”

“Thank you. I’m very happy with my coffee. Take your time.”

Crissy hurried upstairs and quickly shut her motel room door.

Her son, Nico, looked up from his comic and looked at her expectantly.

“Has the detective found my father? He asked.

“Not your father, but his best friends who live very near his hut.”

On his sixth birthday Crissy had told her son the truth about his father. She felt that he had a right to know who his father was. She told him about the disfigurement, too, and that this was the reason why his father did not want to live with them. She wanted him to understand. Nico was a clever boy. With skilful questioning he had found out everything that he needed to know and he had come to the conclusion that he wanted to meet his father.

“I hope Dad still lives in this hut.”

“I should think he does. And if he doesn’t, then Jeanette and Brodie will definitely know where he’s living.”

“Are we going right now?” asked Nico.

“Yes. I just want to quickly get changed.”

“Mum?”

“Yes, Nico? What is it?”

“If it turns out that he doesn’t want to see me, I mean, it wouldn’t be a problem for me. Don’t worry about it, Mum.”

“First we need to find him, don’t we?”

The boat steered towards the bank. Crissy’s heart was racing wildly. The house with the store room that she and Jeanette had hidden in seven years previously – everything looked exactly as she remembered it.

Brodie came to the door, Jeanette just behind him.

When the boat had been moored and Crissy went onshore with Nico, her friends’ faces lit up.

“It’s you!” called Jeanette, and she came towards them, her arms outstretched.

They hugged, laughing and crying at the same time. Then Jeanette pulled away and looked down at Nico. Smiling, she put her hand out to him.

“And who are you, little man?”

“Nico.”

“Pleased to meet you, Nico.”

In the meantime Brodie was with them, too. He shook Crissy’s hand.

“I’m pleased to see you again, Crissy. Come on into the house. I’ll make some tea with the young man here and you can chat with Jeanette.”

Brodie had gone to cut some wood for the stove. Crissy knew that they always had enough chopped wood to hand. He obviously wanted to give her a chance to talk with Jeanette. Perhaps that was a good idea, she thought.

“Sit down,” said Jeanette. “You’re looking good. Brazil obviously suits you.”

“Thank you. Yes, Brazil is beautiful. But it’s been hard all these years without …”

“A nice boy,” said Jeanette, glancing out of the window to where Brodie and Nico were just splitting a log.

“Yes. He’s a great lad. But he desperately needs a father,” said Crissy, her heart pounding as she plucked up the courage to ask the decisive question: ”Is Ramon still living in his hut?”

Jeanette sighed. She took Crissy’s hand and looked at her with sad eyes.

“Ramon is dead, Crissy.”

It took a while for Crissy to take in this information. She stared at Jeanette, speechless, incapable of responding.

“I’m so sorry,” said Jeanette, and she squeezed Crissy’s hand.

“But the money is still coming into my bank account every month.“

“He arranged everything so that you’d carry on getting the money every month. In addition, on his twenty-first birthday Nico will get a hundred thousand dollars. Ramon wanted the boy to be able to make a life for himself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean – he arranged things? How did he know that he …” Crissy sobbed violently. “… did he …”

“He wasn’t the same any more, after he returned from Brazil. He was suffering terribly. Nothing could make him happy any more and he cut himself off more and more. We would often not see him for weeks on end unless we rowed over to him. He went to Brazil three times to see you.”

“I … I didn’t know that. We didn’t see him.”

“He just wanted to see you both – to check that you were both fine. He always came back with a load of photos. The pictures of the boy were the main things that kept him going. He was so proud of his son. I remember that when Nico was probably about three years old Ramon showed us pictures here. There was one of the boy in an ice cream parlour. Ramon would look at that photo for ages and kept on asking: ‘Does he look like me?’ ‘Doesn’t he look like me? That’s my son.’ “

Tears ran down Crissy’s face. She had come too late. She could not show Nico his father any more. She did not even have a damn photo.

“When?”

“About two years ago,” answered Jeanette quietly, without looking at Crissy.

“Is … is there a grave where I …”

“No! He didn’t want one.”

“How should I explain that to Nico?” sobbed Crissy.

Jeanette shrugged her shoulders helplessly.

“I wish I had better news for you.”