Beloved (10 page)

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?” Ashton continues to question me. She’s been grilling me for the last hour.

I haven’t seen her at all over the last few days. She’s been staying at the lab because of the clinical trials, and the one night she was home, I had a dinner meeting with the other publicists from my office. By the time I got back, Ashton was already passed out. Needing some girl time, we decided to spend the weekend relaxing before I have to deal with Jackson again. We’re now on our second bottle of wine. During our first bottle, I was a mess—trying to form words while rehashing all the details about Neil and Piper, then about Jackson. She was quiet and listened to me get it all out, constantly filling my glass and offering me silent support. However, during the consumption of bottle number two, we’ve moved on to complete giddiness and feeling no pain. We’re now laughing over all the stuff I was upset about an hour ago. Of course, Ashton finds it highly entertaining—I find it disturbing and unfair.

“I don’t know, Ashton. What the hell was I going to say? I tripped over a chair and fell on a ridiculously hot guy? I felt stupid enough. I didn’t need your shit too.” I laugh and gulp my wine.

“Only you! I swear this shit never happens to anyone else I know. So what are you going to do? I mean he’s hot and he’s obviously sexually attracted to you.” She raises her eyebrow and grins.

“I’m not going to do anything. He’s my client.”

“So? Who says you can’t service your boss?” She winks and giggles.

“I can’t believe you. You would never sleep with the doctors in the lab, would you?”

“Who says I haven’t? Plus, they’re all ugly as shit. If there was a hot one, I’d totally play doctor and let him cure me.” She lays her hand across her head in mockery.

“You have issues.” I groan at the sheer ridiculousness of my situation. “What the hell am I going to do?”

“You’re going to do what you always do—you’ll go in there and fight all of your emotions and kick some corporate ass. Then you’ll come home and wallow in your Ben & Jerry’s, be miserable, and cry yourself to sleep. Eventually, you’ll waste all your chances for a real connection and sabotage your own happiness.” She shrugs and refuses to break eye contact.

I gasp at the cruelty—and accuracy—of her statement. “What the hell, Ashton?”

“Sorry, Cat, but it’s true. You knew things were wrong with Neil, but instead of leaving him, you got engaged. Before him there was Eli. You stayed with him for years because he was safe and you thought you deserved the sheer
hell
he put you through. I’m not trying to hurt you.” She scoots over and puts her arm around me, pulling me into a hug. “I’m just telling you that whether this guy was your client or not, you’d find a reason to destroy yourself over him.”

My heart clenches at her words. It hurts so much coming from Ashton. I know she loves me, but I hate what she’s saying. “I don’t understand why every guy I meet or date lets me down.”

“You need to stop looking for this perfect guy. You need to get out of your own head and start having fun. Once the product is released, who knows where you and this Jackson guy will be? Maybe you’ll like him. Maybe he’ll be the world’s biggest piece of shit. Either way, you need to figure
you
out before you fret about all this. Monday morning, go to your meeting, be the kick-ass girl I know you are, and blow them all away.” She smiles reassuringly before picking up the empty wine glasses and bottles and heading into the kitchen.

I grab a pillow and clutch it to my chest. She’s right. It’s not like I even know Jackson or have any connection to him, other than this crazy feeling I get when I’m around him. I need to focus on my life for once. I don’t have to take anyone else into account. The realization is liberating. Now I need to figure out a way to make my body stop reacting to Jackson and all his sexiness.

For the third night in a row, I’ve slept like complete shit. I tossed and turned all night, tormented by images of Jackson and me rolling around in my bed. It was pure heaven. Then I woke up and realized none of the amazing things he just did to me were real. Now I’m all keyed up and have to go to a meeting where I’ll spend the majority of my time trying not to stare at his gorgeous face. I groan and roll over, punching my pillow, wishing that I could call in sick today. But I’m no chicken shit, so I throw my covers off and head into the bathroom.

I strip out of my clothes and enter the waterfall shower, turning on the side jets. The hot water relaxes my muscles as my mind wanders to—who else?—Jackson. I need a plan on how to handle him—he makes me feel too much. He’s even taken over my subconscious while I sleep. Last night’s vivid dream of Jackson touching me, licking me, and claiming me rushes back, rekindling my need for relief. I close my eyes, letting the steam envelop me as I start to remember the way he played with my body, as if he’d been doing it for years.

The warm scent of my vanilla body wash relaxes me as I gently rub the soap over my curves. I lean back against the cold shower tiles and slowly move my hands to my breasts, circling the soap, imagining it’s his mouth on me. My nipples harden as I tease myself. I start to gasp and moan, fantasizing that his hands and voice are coaxing me on, telling me how much he wants me. The demand to release becomes stronger as I get lost in the sensations. My hand slides down my slick skin until it finds my clit, circling the bundle of nerves, pushing me further and further into ecstasy. My muscles clench as I envision Jackson’s fingers, his body covering mine and entering me. I insert one finger, climbing higher, higher, moaning and quivering. My release comes fast and hard as I increase the friction, finally erupting. I’m panting as bursts of light blur my vision.

Eventually, I come down from my euphoric state, finish my shower, and manage to dress myself without any major catastrophe. Hopefully the release will alleviate some of the tension in my body and make it easier to deal with Jackson. I make it to the train without a minute to spare, but at least it’s nice and quiet. I’m hoping I can hold on to this blissful feeling all day.

Once I arrive in Manhattan, a new set of emotions overcomes me. Raw strength and determination flow through me. There’s something about working in New York City. You can almost feel the power in the streets. It’s a breeding ground for success. Being here, working here, living here—it’s invigorating.

Standing in front of Jackson’s building, I see my reflection in the glass. I certainly look the part. I have on a soft cream blouse tucked into a pair of high-waisted gray suit pants. My long hair is pin straight, my dark brown eyes look soft with only a wisp of mascara, and sheer lip gloss accentuates my lips. My black heels elongate my tiny frame, making me feel tall and bold. With my posture straight, I enter the office, heading up to face Jackson and start kicking ass.

The same sweet receptionist guides me back to the conference room where my initial meeting was held. I’m a little early, so there isn’t anyone else in the room yet. I’m removing items from my bag when I hear the door click open. Jackson’s voice floats through the space.

“Yes, I’m aware of your opinion on the matter. However, I’ve made my choice.” He sounds irritated.

A second voice responds, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. It’s a female, though, and by her tone I can tell she’s trying to make him listen to her.

“I don’t care or agree with you,” he responds to whatever the comment was. Another long pause as I strain to hear her response. The door inches open a little more.

“Well, Ms. Carlson, it’s a good thing I’m the CEO.”

Shit! Piper! My blissful mood drains away.

The door opens and Jackson steps aside to let Piper come in first. She looks up and grimaces when she notices me standing here. Jackson enters. It’s as if the world stops moving. His presence would cause the energy in any room to shift, but I can’t help wondering if I feel it more intensely than everyone else. It’s—he’s—intoxicating.

He looks over at me and smiles. “Good morning, Catherine.”

“Good morning, Mr. Cole.” I smile and look at Piper. “Good morning, Piper. Nice to see you in a color other than nude.” The last thing I wish for her is a good morning. However, pleasantries are necessary, and I refuse to let her to take yet another thing from me. But I allow myself the small dig.

She snorts and rolls her eyes.

Bitch
.

Jackson doesn’t notice her catty behavior. He sits at the head of the table with Piper to his left and me in the chair on his right. He’s so close. I can feel the heat radiating from him.

“Okay, let’s get started,” Jackson says.

We spend the next hour debating and discussing the best way to present the soon-to-be-released makeup line. Piper tries to undermine my opinion at every turn, but I hold my ground. Jackson sits back and interjects only when he feels the need. It seems more like a volleyball game than a meeting. After another hour, she’s finally done arguing and agrees with my vision on how to get the company on track.

“Well, ladies, I think we’re about done here. It’s been rather entertaining.” Jackson chuckles and stands, gathering his papers as he does.

Piper leans over to him, trying to keep her voice down. “Mr. Cole, I really think we should talk privately about our options.”

A flash of irritation cross his face as he gruffly replies, “Piper, again, I’m well aware of your opinion and the answer is no.” Jackson meets my eyes and grins.

I sigh and flush with embarrassment.

“Mr. Cole—”

He raises his hand to stop me. “I asked you to call me Jackson.”

Piper stands there slack-jawed with her arms crossed.

“Yes, sorry. Jackson, I’ve arranged everything for Friday’s trip—”

“My secretary will send you the details. I’ve already arranged to have a car pick you up and take you to the airport. You won’t need to worry about anything.” He tucks his materials under his arm and pushes in his chair to leave. As he approaches the door he stops, turns to me, and smirks. “Expect to have dinner while we’re there.” He winks and exits.

Dinner. Of course. I’m never going to avoid this man. He’s going to take full advantage of our time together in Virginia. There is no escaping him. If he’s persistent enough, I may not be strong enough to resist him. I’m barely hanging on as it is. Except there’s the small problem that he’s my client, and I could lose everything I’ve worked for if anything happens between us.

A cough breaks me from my thoughts and I realize I’ve been staring at the door. I look to see Piper glaring at me. “Are you dating him?” she asks in a condescending tone.

“Excuse me?” I stand so I’m eye level with her, looking at her incredulously. Surely she isn’t talking to me like that.

“I asked if you were dating Jackson Cole.” She walks toward me and places her hands on the table, leaning in. She raises her eyebrows, waiting for my response.

My eyes widen at her challenge. I glare right back at her with unadulterated hate. “You’re insane—and a whore, but we’ll revisit that in a minute. Are you seriously talking to me right now?” I’m seething. My body is shaking at her asinine question. She slept with my fiancé and now she’s going to stand here and give me shit? I don’t think so.

“I’m just surprised, Catherine. Is that how you beat out Neil for this account?
His
numbers were flawless. He deserves to be here, not you,” Piper states, tilting her head to the side as she narrows her eyes accusingly.

“Well I’m glad you think so because Neil stole
my
figures!” I step closer to her, radiating anger. First, she has the nerve to insinuate that I won the account because I’m sleeping with Jackson. Then she brings up Neil’s stellar figures. “I seriously can’t believe you have the balls to address me, let alone accuse me of something. It’s none of your business—any of it—but for the record, I got this account because
I’m
the better choice!”

She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Well I guess
I
was the right choice for Neil.”

“Wow, Piper, you want to go there? Good, have him! After seeing what he’s capable of, I’m glad we’re done.” I clench my hands, desperate to punch something or someone, like the blond bitch in front of me.

Her eyes flash and venom fills her voice. “You think you’re so fucking smart, don’t you? You think I give a shit about what
you
think or what you’re happy about?” She steps toward me, grinning. “I fucked your fiancé for four months and you had no idea.”

My hand flies to my throat. “Four months?” The words slip from my mouth. My stomach plummets and I grab onto the chair for support. Four months of Neil sleeping with her and then sleeping with me? I’m such a fool. I thought it was a one-time thing, not an affair! My chin quivers as I drown in pain and betrayal, but I won’t let her see me cry.

“Not so smart now, huh?” A victorious smile spreads from one cheek to the other, and I want to slap it off her arrogant face. That’s all it takes for the tightly pulled thread of my control to break. What the actual fuck? Where I was upset a few moments ago, right now my blood is boiling. I won’t break down any further in front of this piece of trash.