Believe (18 page)

“I like it too, but you need to tell me what you want. And there has to be trust. I need to trust that you’re telling me when something hurts you or upsets you. And you need to trust me. Okay?”

She nodded again. “You haven’t hurt me. But…I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Whatever you want.” He caressed her cheek. She sat up to meet his touch.

“I want to be your angel.”

“You are, kitten.” He smiled.

She leaned her cheek into his hand, her sweet, shy expression making it difficult to focus. “But I want to be…not just a good angel, a naughty angel too. A naughty angel who does what you want me to, I mean, in the bedroom.”

Her cheek warmed under his hand. The heat coursed through him, centering in his shaft. “Pink is your safeword. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

He stood. The way she licked her lips, her hands inching toward his erection—what she wanted was clear. “Get up.”

Lita threw off the blankets and hurried to stand in front of him.

“Good girl. Take of your clothes, then mine.” His arms strained with the effort of not touching her.

She peeled off her nightie. Her skin glowed in the low light, her curves calling to be touched. She knelt and pulled off his briefs. She licked and kissed her way up his legs. He twined his fingers in her hair. With a quick pass, she ran her tongue around his shaft. She took it in her mouth. He moaned as her warm mouth enclosed him, her eager tongue circling and darting along his length. She sucked and licked, lapping him up like a hungry stray drinks milk. He closed his eyes and tensed his thighs. He would come inside her, gazing at her, showing her, seeing her.

He grasped her shoulders. “Up, kitten.”

She whimpered. He looked down at her and smiled. “In bed.”

Her curves jiggled as she rose and slid into bed. Lorenzo caressed her cheek. There was still something in her eyes…He wasn’t going to second-guess. He had to trust Lita, their love.

“I meant to tell you…” Lita gripped the sheet.

He didn’t want to talk about anyone else again, not now. “It doesn’t matter. No one—nothing—can come between us.” He needed her, now.

He kissed her, long and hard, while he explored her body. Straddling her, he pressed her hands down then released her so she could wrap herself around him the way he liked. They pressed together, kissing and caressing. He had wanted to take this to a dirty, rough conclusion, but…there would be plenty of other times for that. Now he needed to be inside Lita, to have her soft, willing body under him. He parted her thighs. She quivered in anticipation.

“Tell me what you want,” he said gazing at her.

“You.” She moved her hips into him. He held her closer, stilling her. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He smiled and kissed her. “What do you want?”

Her brows pushed together. “You inside me.” Her voice was hushed.

He held up two fingers. “This is me.”

She closed her eyes. “I…” she whispered.

He leaned closer, their bodies as close as possible, his ear by her lips. Her soft breath entered his ear. He relaxed into her.

“I want your hot, hard cock inside my wetness.” Her quiet, quick words pulsated through him.

He gripped her hands and rammed his cock home. They moaned together. No one compared to her, and she was his. He was hers. As he rocked inside her, his body lightened, lifted at every touch, every movement. They embraced, a complete union. Nothing would ever get between them.

“Lorenzo,” she yelled. She tightened around his shaft. She kissed him. He came. Came home—a home full of love and peace. He rolled on his side, bringing Lita with him. Holding her tight, he fell asleep.

Chapter Seventeen

Lita snuggled against Lorenzo, disappointed he’d put his pajama bottoms back on last night when he’d gotten up in the middle of the night after they’d made love. And not just any making love, but a naughty, hot, loving, amazing, scream-his-name experience. His stomach tensed. She glanced up at him.

“What time is it?” he asked as he opened his eyes.

“Eight.”

He sat up, which forced Lita to move. “I promised to meet Nico for a run and go over some business.” He kissed her. “Then I have to go to the office.”

She smiled and rubbed her stomach as she watched him stride toward the bathroom, stretching. She couldn’t stop watching him, the way each muscle flexed, biceps curving into his shoulders, hinting at his strength, his smooth back, his tight rear shifting under his dark striped cotton broadcloth pants as he walked. She yearned to ask him to come back to bed, but he was already in the bathroom. The water pattered softly in the shower. She rose and pulled on her robe.

By the time she reached the shower, he exited, pulling his towel around his hips. She stepped back and admired his masculine form. She put her hands on his chest, almost giggling at the way the tiny hairs tickled her fingertips, except the hard slickness of him negated her girlish feelings. She looked up at him. He took her hands in his.

“I’ve got to go, Lita.”

He walked to the sink. She licked her lips. His scent seduced her.

“I understand,” she said. It was just as well. She had to do that errand today. She shrugged off her robe and got in the shower. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have anything to talk to him about.

Lorenzo kissed her goodbye after she came back into the bedroom to get dressed. Everything would be fine. Lorenzo had said nothing could come between them.

Lita dressed and went downstairs. Uncle Enzo sat at the kitchen table with the morning paper.

“I made coffee and toast. Would you like some?” he said. “Celeste said she’d see you later.”

She thanked him and helped herself.

After she finished eating quickly, she cleared up. “I need to go to the store. Do you need anything?” Lita asked.

“No, thank you. Would you like some company?”

Lita shook her head. She needed to be alone. They said their goodbyes and Lita got her purse. She had to resolve this.

She drove down the hill, away from North Beach. Only a five minute drive, but it made all the difference. When Lita shopped near home, she often ran into someone she knew from church, or a family friend, or even a cousin. As she went into the drug store, she wondered again how her neighborhood felt like a small town sometimes, even though it was in such a crowded city. But that was one of the things she’d always appreciated about it—the diversity of the neighborhoods and the security of the closely situated buildings.

When she got home, she put her purchase upstairs. It would have to wait. She and Uncle Enzo went to meet Celeste and then went for a walk. They strolled in the square, the leaves green, spring flowers blooming bright, people’s clothes reflecting the warm season.

While they stopped to talk to acquaintances, Lita wondered at the different people, from the older couple doing Tai Chi to the stylish young mother pushing a stroller, the old Italian man sitting, his cane propped beside him, on the bench, to the young guy in a black tank and black jeans standing on the grass spinning pizza dough. They went into D’Angelo’s Market. Uncle Enzo and Celeste were taking Michael out to lunch. Lita hugged them all goodbye and walked home.

She barely saw anything—she was focused on what waited for her at home.

***

Her hands trembled as she threw away the test in the outside trash. Then she realized how secretive and silly she was being. She had to tell Lorenzo anyway. When she re-entered the kitchen, Lorenzo appeared from the front hall.

“Have a good run?” she said.

“Yeah. Nico says hi.”

“How is he? Vincente and Gina having a good honeymoon?”

“Fine. Where’s Uncle Enzo?”

“Lunch with Celeste. He’ll be back for dinner. Have you eaten?” He’d said he had to go to the office, but she didn’t have the energy to question him, or to make a fuss when she’d been keeping something this huge from him.

Lorenzo shook his head. Lita prepared them some veggie pitas with hummus. They chatted for a while. Lorenzo cleared the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher.

“Do you remember when I said last night I meant to tell you something?” she said. She must’ve gotten pregnant on their honeymoon—she’d forgotten to take her pills regularly. It was easy enough to forget at home, but being in a new place, focused on Lorenzo and enjoying each other…Even he’d forgotten to pack her pills for the trip to Carmel. She clasped her hands.

“What?”

“I meant to tell you I sometimes forgot to take my pills.” She twisted her napkin in her hands.

“Why are you telling me?” Lorenzo stood, rigid, his arms crossed.

“I’m pregnant.” Lita rose and walked to him.

“You said you’d wait.” Lorenzo clenched his jaw.

“I meant that. I thought it would be okay to double up sometimes. Even you forgot to pack my pills on our trip to Carmel.” She wouldn’t look at him.

“So it’s my fault? You should’ve said something,” he shouted.

“Don’t talk to me like that,” she said.

He pushed out a breath. “I’m not ready to be a father. You knew that.” His teeth ground together as he forced out the words.

She touched his arm. “I didn’t mean to get pregnant now. I know you don’t want to be like your father, but you’re not.” She stepped in front of him. “Our baby is not a fault.”

His expression blanked out, his eyes vacant. “How long?”

“I don’t know. I just took the test this morning. I was late, when we came back from Carmel…but I thought—”

He shrugged her off and strode from the room.

“Lorenzo, please, we need to talk…” She rushed after him.

“You and your talking.” He turned on her in the wide foyer. Paintings of Italy, of the places they’d been on their honeymoon, surrounded them. “You want to talk, but you don’t tell me…” He pulled his hand through his hair.

“I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you last night, but I wasn’t sure...I hadn’t taken a test yet. And last night was so good, I felt right and secure. Please, what can I do? I want to be here with you. I want us to be okay.”

He sat on the stair and put his head in his hands. “I can’t. Oh, God.”

Lita sat next to him. She slid her arms around him. A tear dropped onto her hand. Her throat tightened. “I love you, Lorenzo. I trust you with my body, my heart, my soul. You’ve helped me believe I’m enough.”

“He was a murderer, my father. He killed—animals, people, love. When you said you were pregnant, I thought, maybe she could get rid of it. Oh, God.” He pressed his hands into his eyes.

Lita swallowed the queasiness. She had lots of thoughts, thoughts that weren’t true, weren’t who she was, or wanted to be. He’d helped her see that. She could help him see one stray thought didn’t make him like his father. “Do you want me to do that?”

He sucked in a breath, placed his hands on his knees, and faced her. “No. Never. When you said you wanted my baby on Easter, I wanted it to. But wanting something doesn’t mean you should have it.”

“Do you want to leave?” She studied him, his stricken eyes, his determined mouth, his clenched jaw.

“Do you want me to?”

“No. I need you.” She kissed his temple.

He let out a breath. “I need to make a call. I’ll be in the living room for a few.”

She nodded. “I’ll be here.”

The grandfather clock ticked. She glanced at it, the sun moving in its clockwork sky. Her stomach clenched. Lee would be here any time now. She rose to go to the kitchen and call him. She and Lorenzo needed to be alone.

The doorbell rang. She ran to answer.

“What’s up, sweetie?” Lee said. Something was up. He only called her sweetie when he had bad news or on some special occasion.

“You’re early.” She glanced toward the closed door of the living room.

“I said I’d be here in the afternoon. We have to talk. Where’s Lorenzo?”

“He’s on a call. This really isn’t a good time.”

“I see.” Lee gave her his older brother glare. “I arranged to meet you both. Seems like he wants to avoid this.”

“He’s not.”

The pocket doors opened. Lorenzo stood taller, more like his usual self. “Lee. Can we talk another time?”

“No, I want to do this now.”

“Fine. Ten minutes.”

Lee shook his head, his posture rigid, not like his usual self, or who he used to be. “Let’s go in there.” He motioned to the living room.

Lita grasped Lorenzo’s hand and they walked into the cozy room, sitting together on the sofa. Lee stood on the other side of the coffee table.

“Lita, I don’t want to hurt you, but I have proof he’s been up to his old ways.”

She leaned into Lorenzo. “No, I don’t believe you.”

“Sweetie—”

“What proof?” Lorenzo squeezed her hand.

“I hired a detective.”

“So? Sometimes I go out after work with Gianni for a drink. I have business meetings with people, some of them women. You can’t have proof of something I didn’t do.” Lorenzo met Lee’s stare.

She scooted even closer to Lorenzo.

“So you’re too smart to do anything incriminating in the open,” Lee said.

“No. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Lita.”

“I saw the photos,” Lee said.

“Go ahead, show them to Lita. So women got close to me. I never touched them.”

“And yesterday you missed work to go to a building downtown. Were you seeing one of the ‘masseuses’?” Lee chided.

“Stop it, Lee.” Lita shook her head.

Lorenzo crossed his arm, enfolding Lita’s arm in his. “There’s more than one business in that building. I saw a therapist.” He pulled out his wallet with his other hand and threw a small card on the coffee table. Lee picked it up, read it, and tossed it back down. Lorenzo glanced toward the door. Lita rubbed his arm.

She exchanged a look with her brother. She saw in his eyes that he also knew what it had taken for Lorenzo to tell them he was seeing a therapist. “I love you, Lee. And I’m so thankful to you for protecting me and looking out for me all these years. I know I’ve given you reason to think I would do what you say about Lorenzo, but I’m not a teenager anymore. Lorenzo and I are married. We love each other. We protect each other. Please, don’t make me choose. This time it won’t be you.” Lee’s expression softened. Lorenzo leaned into her slightly. “I think you should go,” Lita said to Lee.

“Me too,” Lee said. “Janetta was right.” Lee sighed. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved. I thought you were still my little sweetie. But you’re a woman. A married woman.” He rose. “But you’ll always be my sister. I won’t push you anymore. I don’t want to lose you.” He kissed Lita’s forehead. “I guess you two need to work this out—or not.” He shrugged.

They sat silently, listening to Lee’s retreating footsteps and the front door closing.

“You’ve been seeing a therapist?”

“Just one appointment so far. That’s who I just called. He says I can come in. We, actually, if you’re willing.”

She eased her fingers into his coarse, thick hair and pressed her lips to his. She took their kiss deeper, teasing his lips with her tongue until he opened to her. She pulled back with a contented breath. “Yes.”

He caressed her cheek. In a slow, gentle movement, he eased his hand down, pressing his hand over the heart necklace he’d given her. “I want to believe.”

She placed her hand over his. Then she pulled him up with her.
They’d get through this—
la grazia dell’amore
had brought them together, and it would work its magic again.