Being Zolt (6 page)

“We found Chris’s personal video journal. He only made one entry about two months before his death. It’s fucked up, Z-man.”

“Fuck.” I closed my eyes and exhaled. I opened them and asked, “How fucked up?”

“Apparently, Jacob found himself in some serious shit and turned to Marcus for help. In return, Marcus wanted Irelyn. However, Chris doesn’t say what kind of trouble Jacob found himself in.”

I stiffened and the hairs on my neck rose. “Are you shitting me?”

“I’m not. He talks about how angry he’d been with his father and how he wasn’t about to let Jacob give Irelyn to Marcus. Soon after, Chris died.”

“Marcus had Chris murdered, didn’t he?” My stomach hit my feet, and I had to wonder if Irelyn knew.

“My best guess is, yes, he did. I’m also guessing Wilkes knows the truth.”

“Shit, T, what kind of father does that to his daughter? To his son?”

“A man who is in serious trouble and doesn’t see any way out.”

“This will kill Irelyn.” I shook my head, not relishing having to tell her.

“She knows, Z. She has to. Let’s think about this.” T sat back in his chair and stroked his bald head. “If I’m Marcus and I want Irelyn to play by my rules, I’d need her to see exactly what I’m capable of, which is why she lied to you.”

“So, he told her the entire sordid story and scared the shit out of her so she’d lie.”

“Yep. Anyway, Irelyn needs to watch the video. She needs to hear it from her brother’s mouth. Then, I suggest we go to Quebec and see her father.”

“Oh, God.” I clasped my hands behind my neck.

“You need to be there for her, Z-man. But we have to do this sooner rather than later. Peter Campbell isn’t going to give us much more time before he involves the authorities. Once that happens, we lose all the ground we’ve made. Marcus has connections—deep connections. It’s how he buried the investigation into Chris’s death. How deep and far those connections go is anyone’s guess. Too much longer, and Campbell is going to tell us to fuck off.”

“What about the auction? Has there been any movement on that?”

T scrolled through his phone and handed it to me. “We intercepted this email today. Marcus rerouted the messages to a different IP address, but my tech guys are brilliant. He probably knows we’re watching him, but I’m certain he has no clue just how deep we are.”

“Just how deep are we?” I asked.

“Jackson turned up some dirt on one of Marcus’s goons. He’s got the dude’s balls in a vise grip and made him sing like a songbird.” T-bone shifted in his chair and adjusted himself.

We both did. Men hated to think of any man’s balls being squeezed to the point of pain, even if metaphorically.

“A high-pitched songbird, I’d imagine.”

“Word. Anyway, as you can see from the email, he’s drumming up interest and hasn’t set a date yet. I can imagine he’s got a few sick fucks chomping at the bit to bid on Kenna’s virginity.”

“What the hell? Marcus has no boundaries, does he?”

“I haven’t told Campbell. Like I said, we need him to let us do what we need to do. Interestingly enough, he’s still advertising the sex club at the O’Shea Ranch. Makes me wonder why Marcus feels so secure there? And it tells me he has no idea we recently visited. Has Irelyn said anything about her time with Marcus?”

“No. Last night, she had a nightmare that scared the shit out of me, but she won’t talk about it.” I played with the letter opener, twirling it between my fingers. “I wish she’d open up, but far be it from me to push her. Denial is a mighty large river.”

“And you’re the poster boy for staying on shore,” T-bone laughed.

“Ha! So what do we do about Kenna?” I asked, ignoring T. “Irelyn is drowning in guilt about leaving Kenna and Delaney behind.”

“Well, that’s what I want to ask you about. What do you think about having someone show interest in Kenna? I have a former client who owes me a favor, a big favor. We could get him invited to the auction. This wouldn’t be a surprise since he’s been known to swing in some questionable crowds. All we have to do is set up a bank account showing the available funds.”

“And that’s where I come in,” I said, tossing the letter opener on my desk. “You want me to fund the account.”

“You’re a smart man, Z. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.” T-bone pointed his index finger at me. “If you don’t do it, then I have to tell Campbell. I’m confident we can extricate her that night.” He checked his Rolex on his wrist. “I have to go. The wife has a doctor’s appointment. I don’t want her driving by herself.”

“She’s due anytime?”

“Yeah, next week.” T-bone beamed, and I had to smile at the large, black man sitting opposite me. The proud daddy-to-be gave me a goofy smile, and I had to remind myself this face used to stare down an entire defensive line on the football field.

He walked to the door with me following.

“So, I’ll touch base with you after I talk to Max and see if he’s willing to play with us. I’m sure he won’t pass up the chance, the kinky asshole. You’ll talk to Irelyn about going to Quebec?”

I nodded. “I will when she wakes. I’m letting her sleep. By the way, thanks for dealing with that woman the other day.”

T-bone opened the door. “What, you don’t want Irelyn to find out we found you drunk and naked in your apartment with some random woman?”

“You were what?” Irelyn said, appearing out of nowhere. Her eyes narrowed in my direction.

T-bone spun around. “Irelyn. Uh, hi. How are you?”

“Fine. So you found Zolt drunk and naked with a woman?”

T shrugged and kissed Irelyn on the cheek. Without a word, the big man made a hasty exit.

So much for my offensive line. It just crumbled in front of my eyes,
I thought ruefully.

“Zolt?” Irelyn asked. Her hurtful tone made me cringe.

My mind scanned for possible answers. In the end, I decided to tell the truth.

“I lost it after you called. I threw my phone against the wall then left, driving to the closest bar. I picked up a woman, took her to my apartment where we got fucked up.”

“So you partied with her?” Her eyes were no longer narrowed but pain-filled.

“Yeah.” My eyes drifted downward, and my stare landed on my shoes. I couldn’t stand to see the hurt in her face; hearing it in her voice killed me enough. “Brody and T showed up hours later and kicked my ass.”

“Did you fuck her?” Her voice cracked, and so did my heart.

“No. I wanted to; needed to. The plan had been to fuck you off my mind. But when I tried, I couldn’t.”

“Oh.” She wiped a tear from her face.

Then I did the worst thing possible. Instead of sanctioning my response and walking away, I got pissed. In reality, my anger came from me being so weak.

“Hold on a moment, you don’t get to be upset about this. As far as I knew, you left me and were marrying Marcus. So don’t you dare start with the waterworks?”

I heard my dickish words fall from my mouth, but that didn’t stop my lips from flapping more vitriol in her direction. I wish I could blame it on my shadow self or even Crazy Zolt, but this was all me.

“I didn’t have a choice. I—”

“Neither did I. You left.”

“Only after you flipped out. But I didn’t run to Marcus.”

“I didn’t know that, did I?”

“You have no idea what he did—what he said.” Tears streamed down her face.

Once again, I’d brought Irelyn to tears. Why did I have to be such a fucking bastard? “You’re right. I have no idea what happened because you haven’t told me.”

“He killed my brother, Zolt. He bashed in his head without so much as a thought. The man I let take my virginity murdered my brother, and he threatened you and Kenna. So, yes, I went with him, and I did exactly what he wanted me to do. You know why?”

I shook my head, once again shocked by my own inability to shut the fuck up.

“I did it to save you. I couldn’t let him hurt you again, not when I had to power to stop him. And yeah, you’re probably right, I don’t have the right to be upset, but I am. Screw this!” Irelyn ran from the room, slamming the door behind her. A minute later, I heard another door down the hall slam, as well.

“Well, shit! Way to go, Hamil,” I said to the now-empty room and hit myself on the forehead with my palm. “Stupid dick!”

I flung myself on my bed, cringing when the harsh motion pulled the welts on my back. The sores were well on their way to being healed, but I still had some stinging pain, and flinging about didn’t help matters. I buried my face in the pillow on the massive four-poster, oak bed and cried.

Zolt had a point. I really had no right to be upset. At least he hadn’t slept with the woman. Still, hearing he wanted to screw someone so soon after I left hurt.

“Stupid twit,” I mumbled into the pillow. Honestly, what did I expect?

Rufus jumped on the bed, startling me. I hadn’t realized he had followed me in the room.

“Hi, boy,” I said, turning over so I could stroke his head. “Here we are again. Grieving for Chris. Grieving for Zolt. And grieving for myself.”

Rufus whined and rolled on his back for a tummy rub. I swear the dog understood English, and I know he still missed Chris.

“Irelyn,” Brody said through the door. “Can I come in?”

I let out a long sigh and sat up, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

Rufus barked and jumped off the bed. He headed for the door and barked again. The damn mutt had dog-handled me again.

“All right,” I said, giving into Rufus. “You can come in.”

Brody came in and gave Rufus a pat on the head. He shut the door and put his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts. His dark hair stood on end as if he’d been running his fingers through it.

“What did Zolt do now?” His sexy lips, the same as Zolt’s, were curved down in a frown.

“It’s not his fault.” I pulled my knees to my chest. “I overheard him telling T-bone about the woman he had at his apartment, and I got upset. It’s not fair for me to point fingers and call him out because I have enough of my own shit to be blamed for.”

“Zolt did what Zolt always does; he acts out when he’s overwhelmed. Sex is his go-to device. So is numbing himself. Calling him on it probably made him defensive.”

“I just didn’t think he’d sleep with someone else.” I shuddered at the thought.

“He didn’t, but that doesn’t excuse what he did. We’ve been talking some, and I think he’s ready to start therapy. I truly believe his usage will go down once he deals with his past. But his physical pain is real, and it’s here to stay. He’ll always need some type of pain relief.”

“I know. He did mention that he’s had some revelations since I left.”

Brody pulled up a chair and sat alongside the bed. “Irelyn, I hate to push, but I hoped you might want to talk with me. I can understand if you’re not ready to talk to Zolt, but T-bone needs all the information he can get.”

I exhaled and bit the side of my lip. “It was bad, Brody. Really fucking bad.”

“I’m sure.” He reached over and squeezed my hand. “Why don’t you make yourself comfortable and tell me about it.”

“So, lie on your proverbial couch?” I laughed.

“Something like that.” He grinned back.

I stretched out on the bed and clutched a pillow to my chest. Brody was right; I needed to tell them what happened, especially if it could help Kenna.

“Marcus is the king of the mind-fuck,” I began, my hands squeezing and twisting the pillow as I recounted my story. I told him everything, from how he’d fed me all the foods I hated to not giving me any clothes to change into.

Brody’s brow furrowed, creating a line between his brows. “Wow, what a cocksucker!”

“Is that your professional opinion?” I laughed, liking that Brody could lighten the situation some.

“Yes, it is. Cocksucker is a technical term.”

“Ha.”

“Marcus used classic torture techniques. He stripped you of your dignity by not giving you clean clothes and by limiting your basic hygiene, then he used light and visual stimuli to further push you off-balance. Quite frankly, I’m surprised you’re not in the fetal position drooling. You, Irelyn, have a strong fortitude of spirit and survival instinct.”

Brody touched my hand again, stilling my abuse of the pillow. “What he did was terrible, but you survived. You’re here with us and safe. Zolt is here and he’s fine, too.”

“Is he fine, because I’m not so sure. I think what happened with me just brought everything back to him.” My heart clenched at the thought I’d done something that had brought him pain.

“Irelyn, Zolt is going to be okay. You both can get past this but not by denying it. My brother is a living example of what happens when you let your past reign over you. Either you deal with it or it deals with you.”

“I did grief counseling after Chris’s death, and I’ll most likely need to do some more, given my earlier reaction. Keeping it together while I was there was essential. Now that I’m here, I’m finding it harder to do so.”

“You can talk to me anytime, but try to talk to Zolt, as well. The two of you are in this together. You guys won’t survive as a couple if you don’t, Irelyn. You have to tell him what Marcus did so the both of you can come to terms with it.”

Brody rose from his chair, leaned over and kissed my cheek. Then, he reached in his pocket and pulled out a prescription bottle. “Here’s your Ambien.”