Being With You (The Redemption Series) (16 page)

Tristan had worn a simple pair of faded jeans with a tight fitting black t-shirt and a pair of black Vans skater shoes. He had a plain thermal jacket on and nothing else spectacular. He laughed at her compliment and held his legs out one at a time to play it off, “I’m dressed about as casual I can get, Peyton. But you look like you could be walking a runway in Milan with that get up.”

Caleb must have been listening to their entire conversation and yelled up the stairs from below them, “If you too don’t stop with the fucking mushy shit, I’m gonna puke. Get the fuck out of her before I decide to beat the shit out of Tristan for looking at your clothes, Pey!”

With a groan, Peyton grabbed her coat, and practically pushed Tristan back out the door, letting it slam shut when they were outside. “He’s only been home for ten hours and I’m already on the verge of poisoning him with cyanide in his lasagna bolognese.”

Tristan laughed, but gave her a little hip check as they walked to lighten the mood, “Remind me to never eat your lasagna.”

Peyton turned to look at him, and gave him the sweetest smile before she laughed heartily. They’d made it all the way to his Jeep and he was opening the door before she told him, “God, I missed your weird sense of humor, Tristan.”

Tristan gave her a kiss on the cheek before she hopped into the passenger seat and she smiled again like the last fifteen minutes had never happened.

Tristan felt whole again when she looked at him like that. With as much love, kindness, hope and understanding filling her green eyes. Knowing he needed to take things slow, but yet needed to make sure she knew where he stood right now, he quietly told her, “Peyton, I just missed you.”

T
he pair decided to eat dinner at a small pizza place all the way across town. Peyton told him they had the best thin crust pizza with real homemade tomato sauce…she was right, too. It was perfectly crispy with just a light brushing of olive oil, and the buffalo chicken toppings were freshly prepared as they watched. It was a complete and utterly delicious meal, and Tristan knew he’d just found his new favorite place to eat. After his own haunt, of course.

The entire pizza was devoured between the pair, with Tristan eating most of it. Peyton picked at her food, hardly saying anything during the awkward meal. He’d ask her a question, and she’d of course answered with a smile, but hadn’t started any conversations on her own. He didn’t notice it at first, but after a good twenty minutes of a one-sided conversation, Tristan was starting to think something was wrong.

“Peyton, what’s up with the quiet act? I’ve never had to be the one to make conversation with you. Usually you’re talking a mile a minute.”

Her head snapped up to attention and Tristan could see that her green eyes were filled with an unnamed emotion, which could have easily been fear or hurt. He wasn’t sure. Either way, she didn’t look too happy.

“Hey, baby…talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

Peyton gave him a pained smile and sighed. “I’ve kinda psyched myself out, I guess. I didn’t plan on stopping at your work last night, but something made me pull into that parking lot and I didn’t think before I walked in. This time, I obsessed, worried and just plain ol’ freaked myself out about what I would say, and what I wouldn’t say… I’m kinda nervous.”

Tristan nodded, but he didn’t completely understand why she was nervous around him. She’d been perfectly fine at the hospital and last night at the bar, but she already explained those were different circumstances. This was a planned date, with all the normal nervousness, but he’d hoped that Peyton would still at least be comfortable with him. Maybe not enough to sit in his lap and curl up into a ball like she used to, but at least not be afraid to start a conversation.

“Did I do something to make you afraid of me? Or at least afraid to talk to me?”

She shook her head and looked down at her lap. “I’m trying to not smother you, Tristan. I know now that I was way too over the top when we were together about trying to take care of you. I can sense it when you think I’m being overbearing, and I could feel it a couple of times when you were in the hospital. Even though it was my job at the time.” The corners of her mouth curled up as she laughed at her own joke, but she quickly sobered again.

“I crossed the line between caregiver and smotherer when I first met you. I know that now. But it wasn’t just because I wanted to take care of you…I liked being needed so much. I took it way too far, and pushed you away. I’m trying this time to curb my need to be mothering when we are together so I don’t do it again…”

Peyton had a pleading look in her eyes, and teased him, “But it’s hard! I get paid to be this way all damn day, and then I have a hard time flipping the switch when I’m done,” she playfully whined.

Tristan chuckled at her antics, then grabbed a hold of her hand and pulled her arm across the table. He was lightly making patterns on her skin as he watched her facial expressions changing, and he could feel her skin pebble under his touch. When she closed her eyes and sighed from somewhere deep inside her chest, he knew she was back with him and just him. Not letting her mind get the best of her and just living in the moment.

“Do you feel that, Peyton?”

Her breathing had accelerated and she sounded raspy as she answered, “Yes…you’re giving me goosebumps.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

She was really getting into it now, and just shook her head as he continued to draw on her arm. “No, it feels good.”

Tristan pulled her other arm down and repeated the patterns on both her arms, making her start to squirm in her seat. “Peyton, would just anyone’s touch do this to you?”

She shook her head again and was making bigger movements as she wriggled about. “No, baby. Just you…only you.”

“Why, Peyton?”

“Because I trust you and feel safe with you.”

“Good,” he released the hold on her arms and her eyes flew open as she pulled them back against her chest. She looked up at him with pure desire all over her face…no more of the worry or the angst or the questioning looks. It was a hunger for him that he needed her to feel again, because he’d felt it every day since they’d been near each other again.

“Peyton, if you trust me, then please don’t over think this. One step at a time…Don’t be afraid of being honest with me, and I’ll be honest with you if I feel boxed in again. Okay?”

She nodded and added, “Baby steps. I can do that.”

Tristan smiled. “Good. Wanna get out of here? We can go to a bar for drinks?”

Crinkling up her nose and shaking her head was a pretty good indication she didn’t want to do that. Or the next things he suggested…“Movie? The mall?”

Finally, he asked, “Our beach?”

Peyton laughed at that one. “It was freezing the first time we went there in November! Can you imagine how cold it would be in February?”

Tristan held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, I’m out of ideas then, fancy pants. Whatcha got?”

She yawned before telling him, “You can come to my place and we can sit in the sunroom and have a margarita.”

Tristan violently shook his head. “Nope. Not going anywhere near your meathead brother. That dude wants to kill me, Peyton!”

She smiled, but didn’t deny it. Instead, she just shrugged. “You’ll have to get used to it. He told everyone I was dating he would kill them. I think he even told our neighbor he would kill him if he planted a tree near our fence. He wants to kill everybody.”

Tristan gasped in mock horror. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Oh buck up. Just wait until you meet my other brother. He doesn’t threaten to murder, he usually warns he’s gonna cut off your jewels.”

Tristan lay his head down on the table in between them and said against it. “Christ. I’m gonna die a eunuch by the military’s finest. Just lovely…”

Thank everything that is holy that Caleb wasn’t there when Tristan and Peyton came back from dinner. In fact, there was a note on the refrigerator that he was “out for the night.”

Tristan had offered to stop at Gabriel’s Supper Club to get the necessary ingredients for something other than margaritas, but Peyton was insistent. She wanted something simple and tart…something that she could control the amount of booze in, which he agreed would work, but he didn’t really like the taste. Give him an apple mead beer any day over the mixed stuff and he was happy.

What they were drinking didn’t really matter anyway. As they got closer to her house, Tristan was feeling pressure in his lower side that at first he thought was from his seatbelt being too tight. Then, as it spread about, he knew it was a case of bad gas from the spicy pizza he’d just eaten mass quantities of and he was losing his desire to have a drink.

“Peyton?” Tristan asked once they got settled in at the Adirondack chairs in the sunroom. “I’m not feeling too hot right now. I better pass on the booze for tonight.”

As soon as the words were out, Tristan wished he could pull them back in. Peyton’s caregiver side took over in an instant. “What’s wrong? Do you have a fever?” she reached out to feel his forehead then continued, “When was the last time you peed? What color was it? Did it smell? Did it…”

Tristan stopped her with a quick tug on her ear. “Peyton,” he said sternly. “If you need to know, the pizza didn’t agree with me and I know things are gonna get stinky soon. I was trying to be polite and not wreck the good mood we had going on…”

“Oh,” she answered and looked down sheepishly. “That was my overbearing thing, wasn’t it?”

Tristan smiled at her, but stood up from his chair anyway. He was feeling worse as the seconds passed, and he wanted to go before he embarrassed himself. “Yeah…I know it’s your whole natural nurturer thing you got going on,” he waved his hands around in front of her playfully, like a hand dance, and it got a smile back on Peyton’s face. “It makes you a wonderful nurse, but just tone it down with me. That’s all I ask.”

Peyton’s smile grew bigger and she crinkled up her nose. “I can do that,” she said on a quick release of the breath she was holding. “You know, I do have a bathroom here and I’m familiar with bodily functions, sweets. It’s a natural part of life…you are more than welcome to use my brother’s bathroom and stink up his part of the house if you like.”

Tristan tossed his head back and laughed. Once he calmed down enough to speak, he told her, “As if I don’t have enough problems, Peyton. No, sweetheart. I’m gonna take a rain check on the drinks.” He leaned down to give her a kiss on the lips, but was surprised when she pulled back; things were going pretty well, and he thought they were maybe getting back on the same page again.

He frowned, but calmly asked, “Hey, you okay?”

Peyton smiled, and it was an honest to goodness smile, making him feel a little bit better about the rejection. “Yeah…I was hoping we could talk about this while we had a cocktail, but if you need to go, then I’ll tell you now, and we can talk about it when you’re up to it…”

She stood from her seat and paced in front of him for a few seconds before she stopped directly in front of him and grabbed a hold of his hands in hers. The top of her head barely reached his nose, and she looked so frickin’ cute standing toe to toe with him…all serious-like. But it still made him nervous, and he knew he was frowning as she spoke.

“I am ready to try again if you are, Tristan, but I do have a favor to ask.”

“O-o-kay…” Tristan answered with a drawn out exaggeration.

“I’ve only briefly talked to Susy, and she is a wonderful girl that really does think the world of you, but I’m afraid that we can’t move forward with you two living so closely together.” Tristan couldn’t help the nausea that was rising in his gut as he considered what Peyton was insinuating. He was at a loss without Susy, and even though they were no longer sleeping together, that didn’t mean they weren’t best friends who cared about each other. She was one of the better parts of his life right now, and he didn’t want that to change.

His facial expression must have given away his feelings because Peyton started back pedaling. “Tristan…I didn’t expect you to remain celibate when we were apart, and I’m not asking you to never see her again. But if you want to try things again, I would ask that you and Susy keep a bit of distance between you…for my own sanity and Susy’s as well. It has to be hard just switching gears and going from enemies, to friends, to roommates, to sexual partners and then back to just friends again.”