Being With You (The Redemption Series) (10 page)

Tristan prepped for the evening for what must have been hours before he realized he hadn’t spoken to a single person since he walked through the door and said “Hey” to Gabriel.

The typical weekend crowd was light, and Tristan was finding himself bored. There were quite a few families and groups eating in the dining room, but only a couple of people at the bar. He was stalking back and forth, looking around for something else he could stock in the coolers to keep himself occupied. Usually when they weren’t swamped, he would shoot the shit with one of the patrons, but no one was really in a talkative mood tonight. That coupled with the bad tippers, and the absence of his little Sus, he was plain ole’ in a shitty mood.

“Hey barkeep, need a tap beer and a glass of house wine, please…”

Tristan turned around to reply with a smile, and instead of a standard greeting, he nearly split his face in half with the mile-wide grin as he realized who was talking.

“Well, fuck me…Chris Lake. How ya been, man?”

His blond friend removed his arm from around the petite chestnut-haired beauty next to him and extended it out to Tristan. “I’m good, Tristan. Real good. You remember Sara?”

The cutie trained her eyes on Chris for a second, who nodded slightly before she reached over the bar to shake his hand in greeting as well. “Hey, Tristan. How are you?”

Her question wasn’t laced with seriousness, like most people who knew of his past. It was more a conversational request and didn’t make him feel like a fucked up freak. These two people were the closest he had to friends, other than Susy and Chris fucking hated him the first time they’d met. It made Tristan chuckle now to see Chris greeting him so warmly.

“What’s so funny, fucktard?” Chris asked playfully, and Sara elbowed him, ducking her head in embarrassment. “Christopher Joseph!!! There are little kids eating dinner with their families in here. Watch your language!”

Tristan was aware that the last time he spent any time with the couple that they were actively participating in a Dominant/submissive relationship, but Sara called him Master, if he recalled. Even an outsider like Tristan knew that she wasn’t supposed to talk off-handed to her Dom, and he waited for the scene that would soon ensue.

Instead of seeing anger crossing Chris’ face, it was a look of pure love that showed as he pulled Sara closer to his side and kissed the tip of her nose. “Yes, dear…Sorry.” He released her and motioned for her to sit on a barstool, and Tristan went to get their drinks while they got settled.

A quiet “ouch” reached his ears and he turned just in time to see Sara rubbing her behind before she sat on the raised chair. He could only chuckle to himself at the murderous look on Sara’s face and went back to his work. When Tristan turned back around with their drinks in his hands, Chris had his hand possessively wrapped in Sara’s hair, and was tugging her in to the point she must have been in pain.

Tristan didn’t want to interfere, but it still made him nervous to see someone being so aggressive with a woman, friend or not. Chris pulled Sara’s face close to his, whispering something that made her blush crimson. He let go of his hold, and she adjusted herself in the chair and looked down at her lap. Tristan set their respective glasses on napkins in front of them, and could see a smile on Sara’s lips. When she looked up to take her first sip of her drink, she gave Tristan a wink and he relaxed. The things that happened in their relationship weren’t things he would ever be able to understand, but he was okay with that. Everyone had the right to their own kink.

“How’s business these days?” Chris asked, bringing Tristan out of his thoughts.

Tristan shimmied his head about a bit and answered, “It’s pretty good as far as I can tell. Tips are good, Gabriel treats us all well, and we’ve stayed busy this far into the winter.”

Chris nodded in agreement, “Yeah, this place always did have good food, but the owner can be a bit of a feisty fu…man…” he stuttered, but finished without swearing again, looking over to Sara with a grin on his face in triumph.

Tristan answered hastily, wanting to defend Gabriel. “He acts tough, but he’s a softie. Treats us all like we are family.”

Chris smiled wildly and added with a raise of his beer glass, “That’s awesome, man. Glad to hear it. Still livin’ with your uncle?”

Tristan shook his head and laughed without mirth. “Oh come on, Chris. You know I moved out of there. I know Dominic has you watching me…no need to fluff my feathers with shit.”

Chris just shrugged and took another swallow of his drink. “Well, it would be easier to keep tabs on you if you would accept one of our dinner invitations, dickhead. Then I wouldn’t have to be covertly stalking you every day.”

Knowing he was being egged on, Tristan just laughed. “For fuck’s sake, Chris. I’ve been busy.”

Sara huffed, bringing the men’s attention to her and she raised her eyebrows at them both. “Honestly…you’d think you two were raised in a barn the way you talk.”

Chris tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and answered seriously, “I’m sorry, little one. I promise to be more mindful.”

“Thank you, Master,” she whispered, but Tristan was standing close enough that he could hear. The way Sara was looking at Chris with such adoration in her eyes, he felt like he was intruding on a private moment and had to look away.

He could feel the love pouring from the pair, and Tristan couldn’t help but think about the one woman in his life who looked at him in that way. The trust, the adoration, the need to be next to each other for more than just physical comfort…

Chris’ words cut through his hazy thoughts. “So, have you heard from Peyton lately?”

Tristan’s head snapped up to look his friend square in the eyes, but it was hard to mask his feelings right then.

Shock
.

Chris must have learned how to read minds in the past few months, because that was the name of the person that was coursing through his brain right now…
Peyton.

T
here was an awkward silence that must have stretched on for quite a while before Chris asked Tristan again, “So…anything? Is she still living in Colorado?”

Flashes started going off in his mind of his short time with Peyton…most of them were fuzzy thoughts interspersed with the few good times they’d had together. But it was a cold stark reminder that most of their relationship was based on her ability to take care of him, and being the one to help him gather up what was left of his life and work to put it back together. There was little he could remember that didn’t remind him of being totally dependent on her, and it made their relationship weak as water.

But that didn’t mean he hadn’t loved her…quite the contrary, actually. There were so many emotions balled up inside him regarding the little spitfire, but he couldn’t find a way to untangle them all. It nearly cut his barely there heart out when she walked away from him, but he’d forced her to; he knew that his ability to take care of himself was a key component to getting back to some semblance of normalcy without his fucking disease gripping him tightly around the throat.

Chris snapped his fingers together to pull Tristan out of his reverie. “Hey,” he laughed, “you zoned out on us.” He spun Sara in her chair so she was facing him. “Little one, could you please excuse us for a few minutes? Not that you need it, my gorgeous fiancée, but could you check your makeup, or freshen up, or whatever you call a bathroom break?”

Sara smiled a mile wide and told him, “Sure, Master. I think I saw one of my friends from school in the back room when we first got here. I’ll go say hi.”

Chris slid to his feet and helped Sara out of her chair and gave her a chaste kiss before she walked away from the pair, leaving Tristan feeling nervous about what Chris wanted to ask without Sara around. He had no intention of rehashing his one bad experience in the BDSM world again, and hoped the man had let that night go. They’d become decent friends since that initial interaction, but he didn’t feel like sharing anymore of his fucked up thoughts about himself and the girl he’d injured. Especially not right now when he was feeling crappy anyway.

“Have you reached out to Peyton at all since you two broke up?”

Tristan shook his head. “No. She and I needed to get away from each other, Chris. I’m sure she’s not pining away for me, anyway. She’s better off without me…”

“Bullshit,” Chris called out after he finished his beer and slammed the glass back onto the bar. “I don’t have a fucking clue what happened between the two of you, but I know she’s not better off without you. So don’t give me that shit.”

Tristan spit back quickly, “She is. That woman needs to have a house in the suburbs, a husband and two point one kids and a dog in their fenced in yard. Everything someone as kind and pure as her deserves. Not some fucked up piece of shit like me.”

Chris pulled his head back in shock and rolled his eyes. “Wow. Self-loathing much? It’s time to reel it back in, buddy. Don’t you think that my gorgeous fiancée with her future laid out in front of her and hundreds of men with way more money than me and a lot more potential could be lining up to take her home?”

Tristan was hesitant to answer, knowing where this was going. He sighed dramatically and told him, “I get it, fuckwad. But you will take care of Sara for the rest of your life and know that someday you won’t have a mental break and possibly not be there when she or maybe your kids need you. Peyton deserves that and I can feel that she craves it.”

Chris told him without pause, “You deserve to have a normal life, too, Tristan. We don’t really get to choose who we give our hearts to, it just happens. But once it does, there is nothing to compare it to.”

Tristan was having a hard time with the touchy feely shit, but Chris wasn’t letting this go. He decided it was time to say the words that filled his mind, his heart and his soul, but he hadn’t uttered out loud or completely let himself think about fully, or it would tear him apart. “She is better off if she gives herself to someone else. With me, I would have only given her heartache.”

Choking on the last of the words like they were acid in his mouth, Tristan grabbed Chris’ near empty beer glass and went to refill it. He was glad for the distraction and needed to figure out a way to get the man to shut the fuck up. There was no way he wanted to continue this line of questioning about a part of his past he’d locked up and done everything to let go of. Including moving on as best he could…even if a lot of his dreams included Peyton. Not just his nightmares, but his infrequent dreams of peace and happiness as well. Didn’t fucking matter…she was gone now and living her life again.

Without him in it.

Maybe even with some other guy…another man was holding Peyton while she slept, brushing her hair off her face as she slept peacefully in the night, making love to her…

Christ!
He slammed his hands against the counter and stormed around the bar, determined to get as far away from Chris and this line of thinking. He could handle envisioning Peyton moving on without him, but seeing someone else touching her gorgeous skin and imagining her calling someone else “Baby” was more than he could handle.

He barely made it to the back office with his temper in check; it was at a full rolling boil by the time he made it inside’s Gabe’s office, and he had to resist the urge to slam the door with all his might. “I gotta fucking go, Gabriel. I’m sorry. I can’t do this tonight.”

Gabe stood up from his chair and was around the desk in a flash. “All right…okay. But let me drive you home. I’ll take over the bar when I get back.”

Tristan shook his head vigorously. “No need. I’m not going home. Let me get my shit worked out tonight and I’ll be back tomorrow for my shift. Just no questions tonight, okay?”

Gabriel reluctantly nodded and followed him out to the bar area. Tristan didn’t even stop to talk to either Chris or Sara, who were both standing next to each other, wearing the same pained looks on their faces.

He could hear a scuffling behind him and turned to see Gabe holding Chris back with a hand on his shoulder. “Let him go, man. He needs his space right now.”

Tristan watched the emotions crossing Chris’ face until he finally relaxed and nodded his head in agreement. It was the last thing he saw before the door shut behind him. He headed for the next street over to a neighboring nightlife bar that would be filled to capacity where he could blend into the crowd and drown himself in a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.