Behind Your Back (12 page)

“Good deal. Hey, I’ll see you on Tuesday?”

“See you on Tuesday.” I get to the parking garage and change out of my work clothes and back into my jeans and hoodie.

I look down at my phone and consider calling Saige. And then I want to punch myself in the head. What the hell is wrong with me? I saw her less than an hour ago and now I’m like a junkie who needs a fix.

Right now I need to detox. Get her out of my system this weekend so I can come back with a clear head.

I head home, but don’t stop at my apartment. I keep walking. My stomach rumbles, but I can get food later. The air is cool against my skin and it’s nice. It’s helping wash away my heated thoughts about Saige. I have to stop thinking about her red lips and creamy skin and her taste on my tongue. Not to mention the feeling of sliding into her and the sounds she made when I did.

Fuck. Me.

I definitely need to stop thinking about that.

My mind drifts away from Saige and I’m hit with a memory of my mother, standing in the kitchen sweeping the floor and singing. When I was younger, I used to think she was Cinderella because she always sang when she cleaned and she had blonde hair. I didn’t get any of my coloring from her, but I got a lot of her features.

When I think about her, I try to remember her like that. A broom in her hand and her clear voice cutting through the air, sun from the window streaming in behind her and making her hair glow.

But then a shadow swoops in and I see her on that same floor. Dead. Her blue eyes open and lifeless, her hair mingling with sticky red blood.

I shake my head back and forth a few times, but it does no good. My feet take me forward and I realize it’s late. I should go home. Feed Leo. Go to bed.

Sighing, I turn around and walk back the way I came.

Loneliness gnaws at me again. I have Cash and the rest. I have Lizzy. I always told myself that needing people makes you weak. I can’t let myself care because people are always taken away from me when I care. Lizzy is the one exception to that rule.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I just assume it’s Cash. Nope. Another text message from my stalker.

You didn’t think I was going to give up that easily, did you?

“Fuck,” I say under my breath. This asshole isn’t going to give up.

I head back to my apartment, on high alert. As soon as I get inside, I lock all my doors and then the windows. I’m not scared, just cautious. Grabbing one of the extra burner phones, I call Cash.

“Yeah?” he says, sounding irritated.

“Got another text.” He swears and I hear rustling. And then a female voice. Oh.

“Hold on,” he says. The sound is muffled and then he comes back on.

“Were you in the middle of something?”

“Someone, actually,” he says and I can hear the grin in his voice. Cash has no problem getting someone in his bed. Women are crazy for Cash.

“And you answered my call, I’m touched,” I say.

“Shut the fuck up. I wish you would have waited a few minutes longer, but I’ll survive. I don’t think she’s going anywhere. I took good care of her.”

“I’ll be over in a few,” he says, sounding tired.

“You know what, don’t even worry about it. We’ll deal with it tomorrow. Go back to what you were doing.” I shouldn’t have called him. I can defend myself if whoever it is shows up at my place. I don’t need Cash to come over and hold my hand like a fucking toddler.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Forget about it.”

“Okay, thanks man. I owe you one.”

“Whatever. At least someone’s getting laid.”

“You could get laid if you wanted to. I hear there’s a certain redhead who has a crush on you.” I roll my eyes. He sounds like he’s in junior high.

“Shut up and go bang your girl.”

He hangs up and that’s the end of that. Leo comes and rubs himself against my legs so I go to feed him.

The old burner phone buzzes with another message.

Are you scared yet?

No, I’m not fucking scared. Annoyed, but not scared. I don’t get scared anymore. Against my better judgment, I type a reply and send it.

I’m not afraid of anything. Least of all you.

My hands shake and I can feel the annoyance increasing to anger. I go to my closet and pull out the standing punching bag. I warm up with a few jabs on each side and then move into a sequence of jabs, crosses, uppercuts, hooks and kicks.

In no time my skin is slicked with sweat and I have to keep brushing it out of my eyes. Blood runs down my hands from my cracked knuckles and I know that I’ll be bruised tomorrow. Good. I like having something to show for a good workout.

I go hard until I have to take a break, bracing myself on my knees and trying to get air back into my tired lungs.

I stand up to find Leo watching me, his head turned to the side as if to ask me what all that stuff was.

“You have claws. I don’t,” I say and then cringe, because I don’t want to be one of those people who talks to their cat. Of course Leo doesn’t answer, but he runs and brings me his ball. I flop down on the couch and toss it for him.

He brings it back and drops it in my lap. I’m thinking I should probably take a shower and go to bed, but my mind is still running in circles.

I need to get out. Out of the apartment. Out of my head. Even though I’ve just come back, I get up again. Leo cries, but I pat him on the head and leave him some treats.

“Sorry,” I say as I close the door and start walking toward the parking garage to get the BMW again.

Then I change my mind.

I go for the Rolls instead. It’s the most expensive car we have and it’s reserved for only the very most special jobs. But tonight, I need it. I put the top down and listen to the purr of the engine as I head for Saige’s apartment.

Eleven

I
t’s very late, but her lights are on. If she can surprise me, I can surprise her. I just… I need to see her. I can’t explain why.

I buzz and the front door opens, so that’s a good sign. I reach her door and knock and the door opens immediately. She’s wearing a variation on the outfit from earlier. Different shirt, this one a baggy t-shirt that barely conceals anything and a different pair of shorts. Her hair is up in a messy bun and her eyes are a little puffy.

“I’m sorry,” I say automatically, realizing how fucking moronic I’m being. What the hell is wrong with me?

“You’re lucky I was up cramming or else I wouldn’t have let you in. I guard my sleep ferociously, when I can get it.” She leans on the doorjamb and I just want to take her hair down and run my fingers through it before finishing what was interrupted earlier.

“I don’t really know why I’m here,” I say, and kick myself for being honest with her. She yawns and rubs her eyes.

“Well, you’re here now. What do you want?” She had no idea what she was asking with that question. I shouldn’t have come. It’s getting hard to breathe with her here like this. Fucking with my head again.

“Would you like to take a drive with me?” I hold up my keys.

“Take a drive with you?”

“Ever ridden in a Rolls-Royce?” That perks her up a little.

“That’s my father’s favorite car. He let me borrow it for prom when I was a senior.” I paste a smile on my face and hold out my hand.

“Come on. Maybe I’ll let you drive.”

She smiles and grabs a coat from a hook right by the door.

“I just have one request,” I say before I can stop myself.

“What’s that?” she says, buttoning the front of her coat. Her shorts are so short she looks like she isn’t wearing anything underneath. Fuck me again. I don’t need that image in my head.

“Turn around,” I say, and she does, puzzled.

I grasp the elastic keeping her hair up and pull it until her hair tumbles down over her shoulders.

“There,” I say and she turns to look at me over her shoulder. I suck in a breath and hand her the elastic.

“That was it?” she asks, putting the elastic in her pocket.

“Yes,” I say and then I have to turn away from her. She follows me to the front of the building and I open the car door for her.

“Oohhhh, this is gorgeous,” she says, brushing the hood of the car. “This must have set you back a few bucks.” The only reason this car is in the arsenal is because of Cash. He made the case for it and none of the other guys argued.

“A few,” I agree and we get in and I put the top down. That was why I wanted her to wear her hair down.

“If you get cold, there’s a blanket in the backseat,” I say, worrying about her bare legs.

“I’m fine,” she says, looking at the dashboard and around the rest of the car.

“My dad would love this.” I cringe inwardly. I don’t want to talk about her father. So I start the engine as Saige settles back into the seat and sighs in contentment.

“How long can you be gone? I don’t want you to get behind.” I don’t really give a shit about her study schedule, but I want her to think I do.

“I was almost done. We can stay out as long as you want.” I don’t like that she puts it that way. If I’m honest, I want to drive and drive and never come back. Just take her and the car and go. It’s never that simple. I’d have to stop and get Leo though. And Lizzy. I’d have to go see Lizzy.

People in books and movies are always taking off, leaving everything behind. But real life isn’t like that. You have connections. Obligations. Ties that can’t be severed. I wouldn’t let Saige become one of them. But tonight, I am going to take her for a drive. Just a drive. Nothing more.

I turn onto the street and start driving. I head out of the city and Saige doesn’t say anything. She brings her feet up on the seat and leans back. Her hair flutters in the breeze and I have to force myself to stop looking over at her. I drive until the headlights coming at us lessen and I can let the engine do what it was built for.

I push down on the accelerator and Saige laughs as the car shoots forward. Her arms go up and she lets out a scream.

I find myself unable to stop smiling as she turns and beams at me. Her hair is all over the place, but she doesn’t seem to care.

I recognize a sign up ahead and if we keep going, we’ll eventually hit the coast.

“This car is fucking amazing. I didn’t get to do this at prom. I was so worried that something would happen to the car, I drove twenty under the speed limit,” she says as I slow down and take the next exit.

“I don’t take it out much. It’s just for special occasions.”

“Oh really? And what makes this a special occasion?”

“You tell me,” I say as I turn left and into a neighborhood. Most of the houses are dark, with the exception of the blue glow of televisions or light from bedside lamps.

“No, I want to hear why,” she says, trying to keep her hair out of her eyes and failing. “If I answer first, can I put my hair up?”

“Sure,” I say.

She twists her hair around, smoothes it and has it back up in a bun before she speaks again.

“This is a special occasion because… it’s a full moon.” She looks up and I realize she’s right. How did I not notice? The moon is clear and bright in the sky and washes her skin with cool light.

“And?” I say.

“And what? That’s not a good enough reason?”

“No, I suppose it is.”

“Your turn,” she says, tucking a runaway strand of hair back from her face.

“It’s a special occasion because…” I don’t want to tell her the truth, but I can’t come up with something else to say.

“Because you’re here with me,” I finally say.

She laughs again.

“You are full of lines, Quinn Brand. But somehow I believe you when you say them. You’re sincere, aren’t you?” Now that makes me want to laugh. She has no fucking clue.

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be, Saige.” She snorts, and it’s a cute sound.

“You’re terrible, you know that?” Yes. I did know that. More than she could possibly imagine.

We lapse into silence again. I expect her to ask me where we’re going, but she doesn’t. So either she knows, or she doesn’t care.

I finally pull into an empty parking lot at the edge of a beach. The dunes wave in the wind and the moonlight makes the landscape alien-like.

She turns to me as I cut the engine.

“Wanna go for a walk?” I smile, remember what happened last time I asked her that.

“Sure,” I say as we both get out of the car. She slips her shoes off and sets them next to the car and I do the same. She’s still wearing her shorts, so I lean down and roll up my jeans as best I can before taking her hand and strolling toward the wooden ramp that leads down to the sand.

“I’ve never been to the beach at night,” she says, inhaling deeply. The air is spiced with the tang of the ocean. It’s one of my favorite smells in the world. My mother loved to bring us to the beach. She’d chase us around with the sunblock and I’d help Lizzy make castles before heading toward the rocks and searching for crabs.

“Hey,” Saige says, tugging my hand and bringing me back to the present.

“Hey,” I say, giving her a smile.

“You’re lost in your head again.”

“Guilty,” I say. She might not be able to read my mind, but she can get pretty damn close.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. I know you’ve got a lot going on up there.” She taps the top of my head and her fingers linger, brushing over my scalp. I stand still and let her touch me because it feels damn good.

“Probably not as much as you think,” I say and she drops her hand.

“Now you’re being modest? Interesting.” I’m not sure why that’s interesting, so I start walking and she follows me.

The sand is chilly without the sun to warm it and I hope she’s not freezing.

“Want to see how cold the water is?” I ask and we walk to the water. It laps over my toes and she sucks in a breath.

“Yeah, that’s brisk. I don’t know if I could go in,” she says, cringing. “I don’t know how people do those polar dips. That’s a recipe for hypothermia if I’ve ever heard one.” I stay in the water, wading in until it’s up to my ankles. My feet numb quickly and I wonder what she’d do if I just kept walking and went all the way in.

“You’re crazy,” she says behind me and I turn and see her over my shoulder, arms wrapped around herself. She’s cold.

“No. Just cold-blooded,” I say with a grin.

She rolls her eyes.

“Come on, let’s walk so I can get warm.”

I get out of the water and this time I follow her over the sand, purposefully avoiding her footprints. She has exceptionally small feet.

“Do you need my jacket?” I ask.

She shakes her head.

“No, I’m fine now that I’m out of the water.”

We take our steps in silence. The lap of the waves calms me and I realize I’ve been stupid. I shouldn’t have showed up. I hope she doesn’t think I’m desperate, or the kind of guy who will just show up whenever he wants. Even though I did it already. I don’t want her to think I’m obsessed with her. That kind of infatuation is dangerous and would probably drive her away.

Basically, I need to calm the fuck down.

She bumps my shoulder with hers.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing much. You?”

She sighs.

“You don’t like personal questions, do you?” No, I don’t. Because I don’t want to slip and accidentally tell her the truth. Again.

“Does anyone?” She hops over a clump of seaweed.

“Some people don’t care. And then some people can’t tell you enough about themselves and you do whatever you can to get away.”

“I know what you mean. I guess… I just don’t like people knowing things about me that I think are personal.” I didn’t mean it to come out like that, but she doesn’t seem offended.

“It doesn’t bother me. At least not right now. But someday I’m going to want to crack you open and look at your insides, Quinn Brand.” She grins at me and I can’t ignore the trickle of unease that drips down my spine.

“That sounds painful,” I say.

“Getting to know someone can be sometimes.” We walk all the way to one end of the beach and I can tell she’s freezing, despite what she told me earlier.

“Ready to go back?” I say as we turn and head back to the car. Her arms are folded around herself, her hands tucked into the sleeves of her coat.

“Sure,” she says. “I guess I should have put on some pants.”

“Sorry, should have warned you.”

“It’s okay.”

We go back to the car and I open the door for her before rushing around and getting in the driver’s seat, turning the car on so I can get the warm air moving for her. She shivers as I put the top up.

The vents blast hot air like breath and she puts her fingers up to them.

“Why did you have to see me?” she asks, and her voice is so quiet I almost don’t hear it. I really don’t know how to answer this question. Not in a logical way.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I just… did.” She nods and seems to accept that answer.

“I’m glad you did. I was worried things were going to be… weird after our first date. I’m not normally like that, you know.” Actually, I didn’t. I know so many other things about her, but I didn’t know that.

“Don’t worry about it. I was worried you wouldn’t want to see me again. Wham, bam, thank you, sir.”

She snorts and sits back in her seat.

“So, tell me something, Quinn Brand.”

“Sure.”

“Who are you?” My blood freezes in my veins and I have a moment of panic before I smother it. She can’t possibly know what she’s asking. I struggle to put a smile on my face before I answer her. It’s a good thing it’s dark and she’s not touching me so she can’t see how fast my heart is racing.

“I’m a guy who thinks you’re painfully beautiful.” She is. I saw it in those first pictures and I see it even more now. Awfully, horribly, painfully beautiful.

She smacks my arm and rolls her eyes again.

“One of these days you’re going to give me something other than a standard line. One of these days, Quinn.” Maybe. But I doubt it.