Behind the Tears (Behind the Lives) (39 page)

“I won’t cause trouble, I promise,” Ash said, his eyes locked onto Chaz’s hand hovering over his groin.

“Good, cos you’ve given me a huge headache.” Chaz pointed to the bump on his forehead. “Which I should pay you back for.”

Ash’s gaze flashed up to Chaz. “You did, you suffocated me,”
raped me, killed my mother... which means I should pay you back with death.

“Guess so, but I’m still hurting, you’re not.”

“My forehead hurts.”

“That’s your own fault.” He touched Ash’s cheek, making him flinch. “And stop bloody flinching, cos it’s pissing me off.”

“I can’t help it.”

Chaz’s upper lip twitched in irritation. “You know, I didn’t think things would be like this when I got out. Yeah, I thought you’d resist me to start with, but once I’d explained that I never meant to harm you or your mother, I thought you’d settle down. Stupid, I know, but I wanted you so friggin’ bad.”

“I want Tiana and my family.”

“I’m part of your family.”

Ash bit the inside of his cheek to stop from yelling at Chaz that he wasn’t, but he knew he had to play things differently, because every time he attacked the psycho he came off worse.

“Yes, you’re my family,” Ash lied.

A smile lit up Chaz’s face. “Yeah, I am. I used to do everything for you and the others: cook, clean, take you places, and I loved watching your rugby games; you were really good at dodging people, fast too. Do you remember that time you dodged every player who came at you and scored a try? You almost ran across the whole damn field, it was impressive. You got player of the day and I took the family out to Pizza Hut to celebrate.”

Ash nodded, even though all he wanted to do was to head-butt Chaz, but that wouldn’t get him anywhere, because he was still tied to the bed where Chaz could do anything to him and he couldn’t do shit to stop him, the bloody ropes so tight they dug into his flesh.

Chaz’s smile widened. “I used to like doing things for you the most. I thought we could have the same arrangement, which means you don’t hafta lift a finger, cos I’ll take care of everything.” He brushed Ash’s fringe aside.

Ash clamped down everything inside of him to stop from flinching.

“Would you like me to take care of you again?” Chaz asked.

Ash nodded, again wanting to head-butt him.

“I wish you meant it.”

“I do,”
so you can take these fuckin’ ropes offa me as well as the chain.

Chaz shook his head. “No, you don’t.” He tapped his bump. “Too soon a change after attacking me, but it’s still a huge improvement.”

“I’m sorry for attacking you.”

Chaz made a sound at the back of his throat. “I bet you are, considering you’re tied to a bed with only your gruds on.” He ran a finger down Ash’s stomach, stopping at the top of Ash’s underwear. “And you know how much I wanna fuck you.”

Ash felt like he’d stopped breathing, everything hanging on what Chaz would do next. Chaz’s hand drifted up to Ash’s neck and clamped around it, making Ash think he was going to get strangled instead, but he stayed still, although it was killing him.

Chaz continued, “I used to take what I wanted in prison. Though, I didn’t like them struggling. I’m not really into getting off roughing up guys unless they deserve it, I prefer them placid. I prefer you placid too, but not drugged. Still, I’ll take ya anyway I can get. How long do ya think it’ll take before you’d lemme fuck you?”

Never.
“I don’t wanna be fucked, I’m not gay.”

“You don’t hafta be gay to like it. I had a mate who said he went to a male doctor and got a finger up his arse for a check-up, and he popped a load off. He wasn’t gay, but still liked it, so you might too.”

“I
hated
it when you raped me.”

“I didn’t warm you up, cos I thought you had passed out, but if I went slower it will feel good.”

“I still don’t want it.”

“C’mon, just say you might, then I’ll let up.”

“No!”

“You hafta say yes otherwise I will think I’m never gonna get any, then I’ll just take it now, cos it’s gonna happen either way.” He grabbed Ash below.

“Yes!”

Chaz let go with a smile. “See, that wasn’t so hard.” He glanced down at Ash’s groin, then back up again. “
At all.
Pity, but I can make you hard if you lemme. So, how are we gonna do things?”

Ash breathed in and out, his chest pumping fast.

“Looks like you’re a bit too excited to say anything. Maybe you liked me touching you, but think it’ll make you less masculine if you admit it.”

“I didn’t like it, I
hated
it.”

“You still don’t know how to handle male affection, do you? No, don’t answer that, I know you have daddy issues. Now, answer my question: how are we gonna do things?”

“You can’t fuck me— No, no, please listen,” Ash said, panicking as Chaz’s hand lowered. “I-I can’t handle it right now, I’m still too sore. Please, lemme get better first.”

Chaz removed his hand. “Okay, I can take things slow, but it also means you hafta lemme touch and hug you without whining like a scared bitch.”

Ash pulled a face.

“C’mon, Ash, you liked it yesterday.”

“I wuz drugged, I thought you were Tiana.”

“You liked the comfort, and considering I don’t wanna sleep on the couch you hafta agree to share the bed.” Chaz held up a hand. “Before you cut me off, it’s just hugging, nuthin’ else, and of course, sleeping. Though, you’ll still be tied up until I know you won’t attack me.”

“The bed’s not big enough.”

“It’s bloody King-sized, so stop fobbing me off and agree.” Chaz glanced at Ash’s underpants again. “Or I’ll forget your name.” He frowned, then lifted a finger to his lips. “Um, which one are you? Dante or Ash?”

“Don’t threaten me.”

“Then tell me the correct answer. Can I sleep in this bed?”

“Yes,” Ash said, wondering whether he could use the chain to strangle Chaz in his sleep.

“Good boy. Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Stop patronising me.”

“Only when you stop acting like a child.”

Ash gritted his teeth so he wouldn’t snap at Chaz.

Chaz lowered his hand to Ash’s left pec, then moved it over his shoulder, tracing the tattoo that finished above his elbow. “Your tattoos remind me of that Polynesian star. What’s his name?” Chaz looked up. “You know; the Samoan American guy who used to wrestle.”

“The Rock,” Ash said automatically.

“Did he inspire the tat?”

“No.”

“When did you get them done?”

None of your fuckin’ business.
“Those ones at eighteen and the neck one at sixteen—”

“But, I thought eighteen was the legal age for getting tattoos.”

“Hunter’s friend did the neck one for me.”

“Typical. I knew Hunter was an irresponsible bastard. It looks great, but you were still too young.”

But not too young to be raped?
“I needed it.”

“Why?”

“So men,”
like you
, “didn’t think they could take from me.”

“What men?”

“Men in general, thugs,”
rapists.

“Did someone try to hurt you?” Chaz lifted a hand. “And I don’t mean me.”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“My boss, or his thugs, and an ex friend.”

“Who was the friend?

“Someone who got squashed like his name.”

Chaz’s blond brows pulled together. “There was Joel, but it couldn’t be him cos he’s your cousin, plus that kid was your best mate, then there was Marko, but he was a nice boy so it couldn’t be him either, then there was... Squashed like an ant. Was it Ant Torres?”

“Yes.”

“What did he try to do to you?”

“Like what you did to me.”

Chaz frowned. “He tried to rape you?”

“Tried, but didn’t succeed.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed he was gay, but he was certainly a right shithead.”

“He still is; he’s a pimp now for male escorts. The prick must be raking in the dosh too, cos he lives in Herne Bay.”

“You’re kidding?”

Ash shook his head, remembering what Dante had said about Ant. A chick had taken his brother to a party without Dante realising it was Ant’s place. The bastard had cornered Dante, asking if he wanted to work for him as a male escort, offering him a motherload of money. Dante had replied with a punch, followed by a few more before Ant and his mates threw him out with a party-bag of bruises to take home. Ash frowned, thinking karma was a bitch for not giving Ant his dues. Yeah, Ant had lost his mates over what he did in high school, but the prick always seemed to bounce back.

“Looks like you went into the wrong business,” Chaz said.

“I wouldn’t sell people’s bodies.”

“Selling drugs is shit too.”

Says the rapist and murderer.

“I think being with me will do you good,” Chaz said. “It’ll get you away from all that nasty crap.”

Ash remained silent.

Chaz patted Ash’s chest and smiled. “I definitely like you better placid. It’s like when you were at fifteen. You were so sweet then.”

“I wuz never sweet.”

“Yes, you were.” Chaz pushed off the bed. “Now, you must be hungry, cos you didn’t eat all of your porridge.”

“I don’t wanna be drugged again.”

“I only did that so I could wash you, otherwise you would’ve gone berko.”

“You’re lying, you didn’t wash me; I smell the same.”

“O-fuckin-kay! You caught me out, Einstein. I had some fun with you. Didja really wanna know that?”

Ash felt sick. “I don’t feel anything.”

Chaz rolled his eyes. “I didn’t fuck you; I promised I wouldn’t, didn’t I?”

“But you said—”

“I did other stuff.”

“Like what?!”

“Calm down, it was nuthin’ you should get upset over. And after what you did earlier, I wanted you to sleep longer. You woke up too soon.”

Ash yanked on the ropes, his plan to play it cool gone in an instant. “I’m more than upset, I wanna fuckin’ kill you!”

“Then you’ll never get outta those ropes.”

The rumble of a car came from outside, the sound heaven-sent. Before Chaz could stop him, Ash started screaming, “Help!” at the top of his lungs.

Chaz grabbed the duvet and shoved some into Ash’s mouth, almost making him choke. He tried to spit it out, but couldn’t, his breathing now panicked at the thought that someone could be outside and not know he was here.

Chaz peered through the curtains, then ran out of the room. Thuds and banging sounded throughout the house, then the front door slammed. A gunshot followed, then another and another...

Ash’s gaze stayed riveted to the door, praying that it was the police. His heart-rate picked up as another door closed followed by footsteps approaching the room. Then a figure appeared in the doorway. Ash cried out at the horror of seeing Chaz, his voice muffled by the duvet.

Holding a gun, Chaz walked over to Ash and pulled out the duvet from his mouth. “Two people are dead now cos of your big gob.” He looked down at Ash’s underwear. “And since you yelled for help, those will be coming off after I bury them.” He left the room, closing the door behind him. A few minutes later an engine fired up, then the sound of tyres crunching over gravel disappeared.

Ash closed his eyes, the thought of more people dying because of him tormenting his mind. He wished Chaz had spared them, and killed him instead, because there was no way he was going to survive if Chaz started raping him.

Creaking floorboards caught his attention, the sound of someone sneaking through the house. He opened his eyes, praying it was someone who could help him—and not Chaz, which it couldn’t be, because he hadn’t heard him return, everything outside quiet.

The door pushed open, then a figure stepped through. Ash gasped at the sight of Sledge’s mate.

“What the fuck?” Tama said.

***

Ash didn’t know how long they stared at each other for, both Tama and himself equally shocked: Ash at seeing Tama alive, and Tama no doubt seeing him tied to the bed almost naked.

“I thought you were dead,” Ash finally said.

“Why the fuck for?”

“Juliet told me you were killed in the prison riot.”

“Well,
obviously
, the ugly slag got things wrong.”

“Shut your mouth ’bout Juliet!”

Tama ran a hand over his tattooed head, the curls of the Māori pattern giving the impression of hair. “I can say what I bloody like ’bout her, cos you can’t do anything ’bout it.”

Ash tugged on the ropes, aching to wrap them around Tama’s neck and string him up. “Free me before Chaz comes back.”

“Nah ah, you look like you wanna kill me.” Tama came closer, the guy’s swagger over emphasised, like he was doing it on purpose to taunt Ash. Stopping next to the bed, his gaze swept Ash’s body, but without Chaz’s hunger, only curiosity colouring the kid’s face. “Man, Chaz is a sick motherfucker.” He smirked. “Or an Ashfucker.”