Behind the Lens (Behind the Lives) (18 page)

“What’s
the site called? I wanna see it.”

“
A
Craving
, but I have to show it to you, cos you won’t be able to access it.
Only select customers who pay to be in this porn club can. Ant says his clients
shell out a million dollars a year to get access to it, but of course it’s free
for me, not legally though, cos I hacked into the site, I’m kinda good with
computers. Though, I reckon since I’m one of the actors, I should get free
access, but they’re really strict, so don’t tell anyone about it, cos I’d get
killed—maybe literally,” Tyler mumbled the last couple of words, making Corey
unsure whether he’d heard right.

“I
won’t tell anyone,” Corey said. “And if they pay a mil to see you, it’s no
wonder you have such a choice home.”

“They
don’t just get to watch me, but loads of other actors as well, and yes, it does
pay well, but then again, it’s not easy money either. Sometimes it’s fun, other
times I wish I’d never started it.”

“Why?”

“Cos
I hate being bottomed. Most of the time Ant lets me be the top, but when he’s
pissed off with me he forces me to be the sandwich between two big guys, him
usually one of them. He’s a complete creep when he does that, but luckily it
doesn’t happen too often cos I’m not his type.”

“Who’s
his type?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah,
which is why I haven’t introduced you to him, cos he’d be on you in a second.”

“But
I’m bald and skinny.”

“No,
you’re cute and a redhead,” Tyler said, touching Corey’s eyebrows. “Ant
loves
cute redheads.”

“Then
he must be a weirdo, cos no one likes redheads. I got the shit teased outta me
at school for it, which wuz why I used to dye my hair so much. I lost my eyebrows
once trying to dye them blue, never did that again.”

Tyler
laughed. “Lucky they grew back.”

“Yeah,
cos I looked like a freakin’ alien without them.”

“I
would’ve loved to have seen that.”

“Well,
it’s not gonna happen again, cos they’ve grown back with superpowers. Even
chemo can’t make them disappear.” Corey’s face dropped. “Crap, I didn’t meana
say that.”

“You
had chemo?” Tyler said, looking worried. “Is that why you really lost your
hair?”

Corey
grimaced. “Yeah.”

“Oh
God, it’s not terminal is it?”

“No,
the doc reckons my treatment’s goin’ well.”

Tyler
reached out for Corey, pulling him into a hug. “I couldn’t handle it if you
died.”

Corey
patted Tyler’s back. “I couldn’t handle me dying either.”

Tyler
let go of Corey, looking like he wasn’t sure he’d heard right, then he smirked.
“I love your sense of humour.”

“I
wuz being serious.”

Tyler
laughed. “You’re so cute.”

Corey
screwed up his nose. “Again, what’s with the cute insults? Cos you needa quit
it.”

“Not
my fault you’re adorable,” Tyler said, trying to pinch Corey’s cheeks. “Gitchi,
gitchi goo.”

Corey
smacked Tyler’s hands. “Stoppit!”

“Sure,
cherub,” Tyler giggled, pushing open the door. “Let’s go inside.”

“Cherub,
my skinny arse!”

Still
laughing, Tyler headed around the car to help Corey out, getting a half-hearted
whack from Corey in protest.

Grinning
wide, Tyler took a step back and swept an arm out. “After you.”

Corey
snorted in reply as he pushed up onto his crutches. He then headed down the
side of the warehouse.

Tyler
reached past him to unlock the door. “You can stay here for the rest of the
weekend without a problem. This studio’s separated from the main one, which is
a couple of warehouses down the road.”

Corey
stepped inside as Tyler switched on a light. There was a desk with a phone and
computer on his left, while further back a king-sized bed was surrounded by
fake walls to give it a bedroom feel, with the added additions of cameras and
lighting. Corey’s gaze moved to another area where chains hung off stone slabs,
along with other medieval apparatus, making his skin crawl. He pointed at it.
“What the hell is that?”

“A
BDSM scene. It’s totally warped stuff. I did it once and screamed so loud they
had to stop filming. I refused to do it again.”

“What
did they do to make you scream?”

Tyler
screwed up his nose. “You don’t wanna know.”

“I
asked, didn’t I?”

“Just
put it this way, it hurt
a lot
, and I can’t handle pain very well.”

“Then
why’d ja do it?”

“I
didn’t know what I was getting myself into, totally walked into it blind. I was
only sixteen, so sort of trusted Ant when I shouldn’t have.”

“He
did it to you?”

“No,
he filmed me while some other creep did it. I reckon Ant only stopped the guy
cos I was making so much noise it was unfilmable.”

“He
sounds like an arsehole.”

“He
is, but he pays well, and you have to take the bad stuff with the good. It’s
just life.”

“You
sound ancient, man.”

“No,
you’re just an innocent wee thing,” Tyler said, pinching Corey’s cheeks again.

Corey
swatted his hand away. “Don’t take the piss outta me.”

Tyler
smiled. “Sensitive too.” He then headed for the fake bedroom, sitting down on
the mattress. “You’ll be sleeping here,” he said, patting it.

Corey
followed him on his crutches, hoping that Tyler didn’t expect to share the bed
with him. “Um, thanks for this.”

“You’re
welcome.”

“Um...”
Corey stopped in front of Tyler. “I don’t meana be rude, but I’m tired, so I’m
gonna crash straight away.”

“Cool.”
Tyler slipped off his jacket.

“No,
Tyler, I mean, I wanna sleep alone.”

Tyler
stopped. “Oh.”

Corey
clutched onto his crutches, feeling bad for upsetting Tyler. “I’m sorry.”

Tyler
picked up his jacket. “No, I should apologise, it’s my fault for assuming.”

“Don’t
say that, you’ve really helped me out, I’m grateful.”

Tyler
smiled, although it appeared more sad than happy. He slipped his jacket back on
then got to his feet. “Can I at least have a kiss good night?” he asked.

Corey
went to kiss him on the cheek, jolting as Tyler took a hold of his face and
kissed him hard on the lips.

Tyler
let him go and grinned. “I should apologise for that too, but I’m not sorry,
even if you do taste of puke.”

Corey
pulled a face. “Well, you should be, cos you damn well know I’m with Sledge.”

“He
left you, which is why you’re here.” He went to kiss Corey again.

Corey
moved his head to the side. “Christ, Tyler. What’s wrong with you? My breath
must stink.”

Tyler
exhaled loudly. “You already know what’s wrong with me: I’m totally into you,
way more than Sledge, and I would never abandon you like he did.”

“But
I love him.”

“Which
means you don’t love me?”

Corey
pulled his beanie over his face.

“Corey,
don’t ignore me.”

“It’s
just...” Corey looked out from under his beanie. “I like you, but as a—”

“Don’t
say it,” Tyler snapped, stopping the word
friend
from escaping Corey’s
mouth.

Corey
looked down, not knowing how to handle Tyler’s hurt reaction.

“Does
he love you?” Tyler asked.

“Yes,”
Corey mumbled, not sure after tonight.

“But
he still left you; that doesn’t sound like love to me.”

“He
made love to me for the first time today, so he does love me.”

“Sex
and making love are two different things, and I’m definitely qualified to say
that.”

“But
he said he loved me,” Corey said, looking up.

“After
or before he did you?”

“Both,
and you make it sound like he wuz only doin’ it to get a fuck, which isn’t
true, I wuz the one who kept bugging him for sex, not the other way round.”

“Maybe
he didn’t like it.”

Corey
felt like Tyler had slapped him.

“Don’t
get upset, you’re great at sex,” Tyler said, “and the only reason that Sledge
wouldn’t have liked it, is cos he’s not gay, which I can tell from a mile off,
and I reckon he’s only with you cos he’s afraid to lose your friendship.”

Corey
hobbled past Tyler and sat down on the bed, throwing his crutches on the floor,
because deep down he knew Tyler was right.

Tyler
sat next to him. “Don’t be angry with me, you know I’m telling the truth.”

“Just
go, Tyler.”

“Please
don’t push me away, I can’t take it if you ignore me again.” Tyler started
crying. “This last week has been hell. My uncle’s funeral was on Wednesday and
then Child Welfare came over the next day, wanting to put my cousin into foster
care. I told them I’ll look after her, but they’re giving me a hard time,
making me jump through hoops.” He covered his face. “I don’t know if I can take
much more.”

Corey
placed a hand on Tyler’s back, feeling like a total jerk. He’d only been
focused on his own problems, not thinking about the hell that Tyler was going
through, and now he was causing even more stress for him. “You’ll get through
this, cos you’re strong,” he said, not really sure if Tyler was, because he
hardly knew him, but it seemed the right thing to say.

Tyler
dropped his hands. “No, I’m not, I’m weak, that’s why you prefer Sledge over
me.”

“I
meant you’re strong mentally, and I’ve known Sledge a long time; loved him
before I even met you.”

“But
you still care for me, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“So,
why can’t I stay?”

“I’ve
already told you why.”

“But
I just wanna cuddle you, no sex, I promise.”

Corey
exhaled. “I can’t, Tyler, I’m with Sledge.”

“No
you’re not! You’re with me now.”

“Only
as friends; and I still can’t sleep in the same bed as you, cos I couldn’t
handle it if Sledge slept with any of his flings.” Corey grimaced, realising
what he’d said too late. “I didn’t mean you’re a fling, just that Sledge has
had flings.”

“No,
you did mean it.” Tyler pushed off the bed and headed for the door.

“Tyler,
I’m sorry, I didn’t meana upset you.”

“No
one does, but it always happens.” Tyler switched off the light and slammed the
door behind him, sending eerie echoes throughout the warehouse.

Corey
stared into the darkness, feeling like he’d lost two friends in one night.

12

Dante

The pub band was in full
swing, their singer mutilating a rock anthem from the eighties, her voice
higher than Dante, and that was fucking high—or was that drunk? Hell, it didn’t
matter, drunk, high, it was all the same to him right now.

Dante
yelled, “You suck!” knowing he could definitely do a better job. He loved to
sing, which was the only thing he’d done well at school, because he’d failed
almost everything else, so Ash’s suggestion of going back sucked worse than the
singer.
Oh yeah
, he did pass English, but not because he was any good at
it, well, he could write poetry, but stories, nah, he couldn’t be arsed doing
that—or reading books, that was what movies were for, though he really did like
the teacher. Miss Hughes totally made it worth his time turning up; it was just
a pity she had to move schools, because he’d liked fucking her.

The
singer hit an ear-splitting note, jolting Dante from his thoughts. He hollered
at the top of his lungs, “Get off the stage! You sound like shit! This is how
it should sound.” He started singing, showing the clueless woman what a real
singer sounded like. People turned to look at him. He upped the volume, getting
a dirty look from the singer, who was standing a few feet away in a tight
number that belonged to the eighties, along with her swept back hair, reminding
him of one of his mum’s favourite singers: Bonnie Tyler. Just a pity she
couldn’t sing like that chick.

The
Bonnie Tyler wannabe started singing louder, practically shouting into the
microphone. Dante stopped singing and yelled at her, “Shut up!! You sound like
the Bee Gees on helium, no one wants to listen to that,” then continued singing,
clapping when the singer stormed off the stage. Seeing his opportunity, he
jumped up on stage and grabbed the microphone, continuing on with the lyrics
and feeling triumphant as the band backed him up instead of following her, the
guys looking like they were having fun as they played along with him.

When
the song came to an end, people started clapping with a few females
wolf-whistling. Dante took a bow so low that he fell off the stage, which
thankfully wasn’t high. He rolled onto his back, then burst out laughing, because
he could see up two women’s skirts, the closest one not a woman. He pointed at
the danglies, shouting, “Strap them up, dude!”

A
couple of blokes grabbed his arms and tugged him to his feet, helping him onto
a stool. “You’ve got a great voice, mate,” one of the men said, handing over
twenty bucks. “Have a drink on me, you deserve it.” The other guys clapped him
on the back, all saying the same thing: that he was great, which he already
knew.

Dante
thanked them, then hollered at the bartender: “Gimme some Vodka, and not that
watered-down piss from before.”

The
bartender came over, his face unimpressed, which accentuated his bunny teeth.
“You know it’s not watered-down, you’re just a bloody alcoholic.”

“I’m
not an alcoholic, so stop giving me the kiddie drinks and get me sumpthin’
stronger.” Dante smacked the money on the counter.

The
bartender took it. “This will go towards paying off your tab.”

“No
way! That bloke,” Dante pointed to the guy who’d handed him the money, “bought
me a drink. It’s drink money, not tab money.”

“Too
bad, you owe my boss loads, so why don’t you go and find an ATM and get the
rest.”

“Got
no cash, dude, which is why you shouldn’t steal from me.”

“I’m
not stealing from you; you’re the one who won’t pay.”

“Oh,
come on, Bugs Bunny, don’t be a prick, you know I’m good for it, I’m always
good for it.”

“Yeah
right, and I’m the pope, you insulting arsehole.”

“Then
you hafta give wine to this good ole Catholic boy.”

“Just
go home and sleep it off.”

“Not
until you gimme my communion.”

“I
don’t know what the hell you’re on about.” The bartender shook his head, then
moved to serve someone else.

“You’re
a useless pope!” Dante shouted, then jumped as fingernails ran down the back of
his neck. He swivelled around on his stool, his vision bombarded with a huge
pair of tits.

“Hi,
honey, do ya wanna dance?” the tits said.

“What?”
He wrenched his gaze from the monsters, and looked up. A blonde bombshell, wearing
too much makeup, smiled at him.

“I
said: Do ya wanna dance?”

He
shook his head then turned back to the counter, yelling at the bartender again.
The woman spun his stool around, almost making him topple over. She steadied
him, then leaned in.

“Do
ya wanna leave with me?”

“Nope.”

She
placed a hand on his lap, dangerously close to his package. “You sure about
that, Dante?”

He
frowned. “Have I fucked you before?” because he had to be way drunker than he
was now to do her. Yeah, she had a great bod, but he hated it when chicks plucked
their eyebrows into non-existence. Seriously, she needed new ones tattooed on,
plus half of her makeup removed, because it looked like a funeral director had
gone to work on her face.

“No,
we haven’t had sex,” she said, “but we can fix that?”

“Nope,
I’m not that drunk.”

Her
face dropped. “You don’t needa be rude.”

“I’m
always rude, and,
honey
,” he said, drawing out the word, “How do ya know
my name?”

Her
hundred-watt smile switched back on, the woman probably taking the sickly
endearment the wrong way. “Everyone knows you, honey.”

“How?”

“You’ve
got a rep.”

“For
what?”

“For
giving a girl a good time.”

“No,
you mean for fucking every ho I can get my hands on.”

Her
smile dropped. “You’re really drunk.”

“And
you must be a rocket scientist.”

“No,
I’m a beautician.”

He
laughed. “You’re dumb as shit.”

“No
I’m not!”

“Then
tell me if your tits’ll pop if I press ’em too hard?” he said, poking one of
them.

She
smacked his hand away. “They’re real.”

He
grabbed both, giving them a squeeze. “Nope, definitely fake, and I’ve felt
enough to know.”

She
shoved him back into the bar. “You’re an arsehole!”

He
steadied himself, although he felt like falling over with laughter. “No, I
don’t wanna do your arsehole, I’m not into dudes.” He grabbed between her legs,
then started laughing harder. “Oops, no cock, my bad.” A slap stung his cheek,
amusing him even more. “If you’d slapped me sooner I wouldn’t have thought you
were a tranny, cos they like it when I check.”

“Bastard!”
She turned and stormed over to a table full of women, half of them laughing,
the other half trying hard not to.

Dante
waggled his tongue at them, then turned back to the bar, calling out to the
bartender. The guy flicked him the finger, and told him to bugger off before he
called a bouncer.

“No
bouncer will touch me!” Dante yelled back. “I’m their kryptonite.”

Behind
him, a man started talking. “I’m surprised they haven’t thrown you out yet.”

Dante
turned around, then jolted in surprise. “Shit!”

“I
was preferring a hello,” Jade said, slipping onto the stool next to him.

Dante
glared at him. “Fuck off, stalker, I told ja not to come near me again.”

“I’m
allowed to be here just as much as you are,” Jade replied, his accent American,
although he looked Japanese.

“No,
you ain’t, so go back to Ponsonby, or wherever the hell you’re from, cos you’re
def not from around here.”

Jade
brushed his fringe back, the black hair framing a face far too perfect. “Why do
you think I don’t live in Claydon?”

“Did
you just bat your eyelashes at me?”

“I
was blinking, and you haven’t answered my question.”

“I
know you ain’t from Claydon cos of this.” Dante tugged on the collar of Jade’s
button-down shirt. “What is it, silk?”

“Yes.”
Jade smoothed down his pants. “And this is Versace.”

Dante
pulled a face. “I’ve never heard of that material, it just looks like linen to
me.”

Jade
laughed. “It’s the maker, not the material.”

“Whatever,
it looks gay.”

“There’s
a reason for that.”

“Then
why are you stalking me, cos I ain’t one of yous?” Dante said, sick of the guy
popping up all over the place.

“I
want you.”

“Well,
I don’t want you.”

“That
could change,” Jade said, placing a hand on Dante’s knee.

“Get
your fuckin’ hand offa me before I break it.”

Jade
removed his hand. “I’m willing to pay you a lot more this time, if you come
home with me.”

Dante
glanced around, checking that no one had heard that, then leaned closer to
Jade. “Keep your voice down,” he hissed, not wanting people to know he’d taken
money from the guy. Jade had paid to give him a blowjob once, which Dante only
agreed to because he’d lost all his money at the casino the night before.

Jade
smiled at him. “Sorry for embarrassing you.”

“No,
you’re not, and I’m not a whore,” Dante said only loud enough for Jade to hear.

“You
don’t need to use that word like it’s a disease, and we’re only negotiating a
business transaction. One I’m willing to pay handsomely for.”

“I’m
not negotiating anything with you, and I’m definitely not interested in you
sucking me off again. It wuzn’t worth the money and it bloody gave me
nightmares.”

Jade
looked affronted. “I gave you four hundred dollars, so it
was
worth your
time, and I’m willing to give you more if you do me.”

Dante
shook his head. “I don’t do blokes.”

“Not
even for eight hundred dollars?”

Dante
pulled a face. “Are ya nuts? Why the hell would ja pay that much for one root?
It’s a waste of money.”

“I
don’t think so.”

“Well,
it doesn’t matter, cos I ain’t fucking you, so piss off.”

Jade
smiled. “A grand then.”

Dante
felt his heart miss a beat. “You’re definitely nuts.”

“No,
I’m perfectly sane; I just want you and understand it’ll cost me.”

“Shit.”
Dante wiped his face, then shook his head, not even that desperate. No, he
was
desperate, but he still couldn’t fuck a guy—no way. “I can’t, dude, I
really can’t.”

“Two
grand then.”

Dante’s
eyes bulged. “Two fuckin’ grand? You serious?”

“I’m
always serious.”

“
Jesus!
”
Dante glanced around, making sure that no one was listening in, his gaze
stopping on the blonde bombshell and her table of friends. They were giving him
furtive glances, although they were too far away to hear anything being said.
Dante refocused on Jade, wondering whether he could actually fuck him. He
didn’t want to, that went without saying, but two grand could hold off the repo
men for a while longer, and a hole was a hole, and if he took the dude from
behind it wouldn’t be so bad, plus Jade could pass off as a girl if he stuffed
a bra and slapped on some makeup. Nah, he didn’t think he could get hard, and
if he did, he really didn’t want to do a bloke up the arse, but then again,
he’d bummed chicks, so it wouldn’t really be that different, he’d just have to
make sure he stayed clear of the dude’s wang, but again, would he be able to
get hard? He grunted. That was what eyelids and imagination were for.

Dante
nodded his agreement, although he wanted to shake his head so hard it flew off.

Smiling
wide, Jade got off the barstool. “Then let’s go.”

Dante
stayed glued to his seat, not wanting to move, because if he did he would be
walking out the door as a whore, which would prove all those bitches and
bastards right, the insulting cunts obviously seeing something in him that he’d
tried to ignore. And what would Beth think of him if he went through with it?
It wouldn’t be cheating since he’d broken up with her, plus he was only going
to do Jade because he was fucking desperate, but still, if she found out he’d
whored himself would that ruin his chances of getting her back? Probably, but
then again, she was better off without him.

“Are
you coming?” Jade looked worried, like he thought Dante was backing out of the
deal.

“Yeah.”
Dante got up, not happy as Jade’s smile returned. “And wipe that fuckin’ grin
offa your face before I do.”

Jade
laughed then headed for the door with Dante reluctantly following. A wolf-whistle
stopped him in his tracks. He looked over at the group of women, the blonde
bombshell giving him a vengeful smile. “Have fun fucking your boyfriend.”