Behind the Eyes of Dreamers (6 page)

“I am not sure. If you wish to wait here, you are welcome. Please be seated.” The man nodded toward one of the mats which crowded the floor. “Gabe was indeed overwhelmed by good fortune. He was surprised when the young lady appeared last night and invited him to share her company. Usually he is back by morning, but she was a very attractive woman.”

And he’s always complaining about his lousy luck.
“Thank you,” said Suzanne, trying to be as dignified as Mr. Soong. “I’ll come back later. Please tell him Suzanne’s looking for him; he’ll know who I am.”

She went back out the door and down the stairway. She paused in the downstairs room, wondering if she should talk to Felice. Then she remembered the angry crowd in front of her dome.
I can’t go back there.

For the first time, it occurred to her that Neir-let might have spoken to her in confidence. Perhaps she didn’t want Suzanne speaking to anyone else about their talk; maybe she would be angry if she found out she had. She shrugged off the idea. It couldn’t hurt to tell someone and it might prevent them from acting rashly. She remembered the burned bodies on the highway. They could afford to wait, knowing that the Aadae planned to leave.

“Suzanne.” Gabe was standing in the doorway. She hurried toward him. He was smiling contentedly. “I finally had some luck, this girl I hardly know …”

“Mr. Soong told me.” She tried to smile back.

“Don’t look so irritated. I’ll start flattering myself by thinking you’re jealous.”

“Gabe, I have to talk to you. I was talking to one of the Aadae last night and she told me they were going to leave eventually, I don’t know when, but that’s what she said.”

“Where did you see her?”

“I just happened to run into her, I was wandering around. Gabe, if we can just wait …”

“Suzanne, they won’t leave until they’ve accomplished their purpose, whatever that is. It could be pretty hideous, you know.”

“Neir-let said they want to keep us from dying.”

Gabe wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “No doubt she was speaking figuratively.”

Someone outside was shouting. Suzanne shook her head and began to move toward the doorway. “What’s going on,” she said listlessly. Something seemed to be keeping her from looking outside.

Gabe was pulling at her hand. “Don’t talk to Neir-let any more,” he muttered. “In fact, I wouldn’t advise talking to any of the Aadae unless you can’t help it. Some people don’t like it; you could get into trouble.”

She was suddenly annoyed by Gabe. She withdrew her hand and went outside. A small group of people were standing in front of her dome. She wandered toward them. Something was in the doorway of the dome. She moved closer.

She saw Joel. A shock seemed to strike her body, paralyzing her. Blood rushed to her head and face. Her skin crawled over her stiff muscles, a cold piece of iron was resting in her belly.

Joel was hanging by his neck in the doorway. He had been stabbed several times. Someone had ripped off his shirt, revealing long scratches on his chest. His feet dangled loosely from his legs. Above him, someone had posted a sign: COLLABORATOR. His eyes were closed, the long lashes shadowing his cheekbones.

She began to push people aside as she walked to the doorway. She stumbled near a knife carelessly abandoned under the slowly rotating body. She picked up the bloodstained weapon and began to hack at the rope that held Joel by the neck.

“Suzanne.” Gabe was near her. His voice seemed to reach her ears from a distance. “Come away from here.” She continued to cut the rope until the body fell at her feet, a flesh-covered sack of bones. One hand draped itself across her left ankle, then slipped away.

She stepped over the body into the large central room. No one was there. Unfinished metal devices were strewn across the floor. She heard footsteps clatter near her and turned around.

Asenath Berry crouched on the stairway. Her blue eyes were hidden behind dark glasses. The redhead had a large knapsack on her back. Suzanne moved toward her, still holding the knife.

“Wait!” shouted Asenath, holding up her arms. “He told us everything before he died—he admitted it—we made sure of that. He told them everything he knew about our group, about our plans. They promised him a reward.” Asenath continued to creep down the stairs. “He was a traitor, do you understand? He was looking out for himself.”

The redhead was only a few feet away from her. Suzanne lunged toward Asenath, knocking her on her side. She lifted the knife. Asenath’s foot hit her hand, knocking the knife across the room. The redhead tried to climb to her feet. Suzanne grabbed the curly red hair and began to pull at it silently.

Hands clawed at Suzanne’s legs. “Stop it!” Asenath was screaming. Holding the prostitute’s head with one hand, she started to punch her in the breasts.

“For God’s sake!” Gabe’s big arms were around her, pulling her away from Asenath. She sagged against him, suddenly exhausted, staring at the clump of red hair in her left hand. Asenath got up and scrambled out the door.

Gabe was shaking her by the shoulders. She managed to get free and saw the knife against the wall near the stairway. She picked it up and tucked it under her belt. Then she walked outside.

The small crowd was still there. Ignoring them, she grabbed Joel’s feet and began to drag him along the pathway behind her. The people moved away from her, receding until she could see no faces, only blurs. She dragged Joel past the gray domes until she reached the side of the highway. She collapsed next to him, one arm across his chest.

I should have been with you.
She drew his head near her chest.
I should have helped you. I didn’t even talk to you. I didn’t even try to find out what was wrong.

She waited, watching the body, thinking that he would start to breathe again, that he would speak and hold out his arms to her.
You once told me you were a survivor, you would live forever.
He would hold onto her and she would take him back to the dome and help him recover.

She waited. A few people hurried past her and on down the highway, toward the city. They were leaving, ready to make plans and take their chances away from the domed settlement.

She waited. Joel did not move, did not speak. She began to dig his grave in the dirt, scratching at the soil with her knife and hands. She continued to dig until her hands were bleeding and her shoulders were stiff and sore.

She looked up. The sun had drifted to the west. Joel was covered by evening shadows. Overhead, the silvery aircraft of the Aadae hummed past, heading for the city. She stood up, staggering a little, and watched them.

The towers of the city gleamed. Several aircraft were hovering over them, insects over a crown. The sudden flash of light almost blinded her. She stumbled backward, closing her eyes.

When she opened them, she saw only blackened ruins where the city had been. Then the charred hulks collapsed before her eyes and she saw only a burned-out pit. Nearby, she could hear the strange mourning cry of the Aadae.

She dropped to her knees and began once more to dig.

Suzanne lay in her room. Now and then, she heard footsteps pass the door. Bits of conversation would drift from the main room up the stairs to her. She lay on her mat, her arms and legs held down by invisible bonds. Occasionally she slept.

Time became waves washing over her gently. She floated, occasionally focusing her eyes on the ceiling. A dark shape with flaming hair leaned over her and she saw it was Neir-let. “We must finish our task,” the alien whispered. “Please help.” She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, the Aada had disappeared.

Joel was near. She could tell that he was trying to be silent so he wouldn’t disturb her. He was rummaging in the kitchen, trying to cook the blueberry waffles he had surprised her with one Sunday morning. She turned on her side and saw Gabe sitting against the wall.

“I didn’t know what they were going to do,” he said. “It was a trick, that girl taking me to her room; they knew I was his friend; they didn’t want me around.” She opened her mouth, trying to speak. Her lips were cracked and dry.
Don’t worry
, she wanted to say,
you can stay for breakfast
;
Joel doesn’t mind.
She closed her eyes and felt a wet cloth on her face.

When she woke up again, she was lying under a long coat. Someone had removed her clothes. “I washed you off,” said Gabe. He was holding a glass of blue liquid. He lifted her head and helped her sip some of it.

“How long have I been here?” she managed to ask.

“Days. I thought you were going to die.” He put her head back on the mat.

“No, I won’t die.” She looked at her arm on top of the coat. Her hands had become bony claws, the blue veins which covered her arm were a web. “I won’t die,” she said again, in despair.

“I’ll stay with you if you want me,” said Gabe. “I moved into the room next door, but if you want me here, I’ll stay. Just tell me.”

She shook her head, rolling it from side to side on the mat. “No.”

“Think it over, at least.” He patted her hand. She withdrew it from him slowly and placed it under the coat.

“No.” She was floating now. The room grew darker and the walls seemed to shimmer. Again she felt a wet cloth on her face.

When she woke up once more, Gabe was gone.

Suzanne wandered through the large downstairs room and took a seat next to the wall. She gazed at the people sitting around the tables. The tiny gray-haired woman was absent. Warren, Asenath, Oscar, and Felice were gone, as were others she had known only by sight: a big red-haired fellow, a bony middle-aged blonde, an acne-scarred Puerto Rican. She remembered the burned city, and then Joel.

She picked up one of the metal devices near her. Three cylinders, woven together with metallic tubing, were joined to three globes. The cylinders rested on golden rectangular bases. The whole apparatus was about three feet in height. She wondered absently if they would ever be finished. She put the device down and waited for the Aadae to arrive with more components.

She resumed watching the people at the tables. It was possible that some of them, even now, were planning a way to resist or defeat the aliens, but she doubted it. The city was still too vivid an example in their minds, most likely. Most of the resisters, the determined and forceful ones, had probably died there.
This crowd’s like me,
she thought bitterly.
We’ll get by.
She noticed that some of the people appeared uneasy and realized that she was glaring at them. She looked away.

Gabe’s heavy denimed legs were in front of her. She waved him away, but he sat down in front of her anyway.

“You had any breakfast, Suzanne?”

“No.”

“You should eat. If you want, I’ll get you some.”

“I ate last night; I don’t want anything now.” She didn’t tell him she had vomited the meal in the bathroom, kneeling on the floor and holding her hair off her face with one hand. “Thanks anyway, Gabe,” she said tonelessly. He seemed to expand visibly at that, as if taking her words as encouragement. He hovered over her like a beast of prey, his brown beard making her think of a grizzly bear. She hated him at that moment.
Always sniffing around; you wanted Joel to die, you son of a bitch.
She was quickly ashamed of herself.
He’s just trying to help.
She grew conscious of the hairy legs concealed by her dungarees, and her halitosis; one of her teeth, with no dental care, was slowly, painfully, and aromatically rotting away. She almost chuckled at the thought of Gabe, or anyone else, desiring her sexually. She folded her arms across her breasts,
knobby little things,
and again thought of Joel and all the ways in which she had failed him. Yet part of her still knew that regret was her justification, enjoyable for those who were seasoned to it, a way of believing that things could have been different.
Give me a thousand chances, and I would be the same.
That thought too had its comforting aspects. Her mind curled up inside her and continued its self-flagellation with the willows of guilt, leaving its peculiarly painful and pleasurable scars.

Gabe jostled her elbow. Neir-let and her companion were at the doorway, but this time they brought no components, only two small leatherlike pouches. Neir-let surveyed the room, apparently waiting for everyone’s full attention; then she began to speak in her musical voice.

“We have almost finished assembly of these tools,” she said. Suzanne straightened her back at the words. “Only one thing remains.” The alien leaned over and picked up one of the metal objects. “Each of you should select one now, and keep it with you at all times.” Suzanne reached over for the one she had handled before and watched as everyone scrambled about. No one appeared angry or relieved; they clutched the objects passively and silently, then retreated to the walls, seating themselves on the floor.

Neir-let opened her pouch and took out a small blue gem. It winked in the light and was seemingly answered by the blue stone embedded in Neir-let’s forehead. “You will place this in the small dent you will find in one of the globes. It will adhere to the surface by itself.” Neir-let and the other Aada began to move around the room, handing a blue stone to each person. Suzanne accepted hers from Neir-let and soon found the dented globe. She pressed the stone into the dent and waited.