Behind His Eyes - Truth (30 page)

He didn’t pause or wait for her answer; instead, with one hand still entangled in her long, dark hair and the other pulling her closer, he continued to claim the woman before him.

Finally, her words rose above the internal mayhem. “I am.”

All indecision was gone. The world was no longer red, yet it wasn’t clear. Tony wasn’t thinking anything through… everything was visceral and primal. Claire belonged to him.

Yes, she could be her own woman. It was true: Tony liked her independent spirit. However, in the grand scheme, that was irrelevant. All that mattered was that she was his—wholly and completely. As Tony gave in to his desires, he knew one of two things would occur. When the night was done, Claire would either be his like never before, or she’d leave him behind and life would cease to exist. Stopping now wasn’t an option. Continuing his unrelenting claim, he held her tighter pulling her against his chest. Their hearts beat together as he wildly repossessed everything before him. His words come out like a growl, “You are mine.”

When he released her hair, Claire’s lips touched his neck and her hands caressed his shoulders. He couldn’t contain the rumble from the back of his throat as he tried to think, tried to reason. Claire wasn’t fighting—she was responding. Hell, she wasn’t just responding. She was seducing him.
Did she truly know what he was offering?

It was love and it was forever.

Tony loved Claire more than he could articulate; however, they both knew, his
love
wasn’t all wine and roses. He was damaged. Chalk it up to a screwed-up childhood, blame it on tragedies—the cause was irrelevant. Tony was a sick son-of-a-bitch who had certain requirements. Claire needed to decide if she was willing to submit to his requirements and follow his rules. This was her last out, the last chance. If she didn’t run now, he would never let her go.

Tugging once again on her hair, she gasped as he tipped her head until their eyes met. The gaze before him was stunning. In those eyes, he’d seen fear and love. Tonight, he saw passion, a heat that threatened any remnants of restraint he might still possess.

Laying it all on the table, he demanded, “Say it!”

Behind the passion and fire, her confusion surfaced. Tony explained, “Say you’re mine and nobody else’s.”

Claire’s confusion melted into green pools of desire. Her voice resonated above the sound of their breathing and the frantic beating of their hearts. “Yes, Tony,
you
are mine and nobody else’s.”

He stared.
What did she just say?
You
are mine and nobody else’s.

Tony tried to focus. It wasn’t what he wanted; it wasn’t what he expected, yet it was perfect. Claire was more than he deserved and a hell of a lot stronger than he’d ever known. No other woman could or would accept him. No one ever had. Not that he’d tried. The realization struck him with a tremendous force. Claire Nichols not only knew what she was getting herself into, but she wanted it. She wanted
him
.

Claire’s acceptance fueled Tony’s new strength and sobered his thoughts. His words began as a whisper and rose in volume. “Yes… mighty fine and sexy as hell.” Claiming her lips, he added, “And mine!”

He stood, seized Claire’s wrist, and pulled her up toward the bedroom. If they were taking this re-acquisition to the next level, they weren’t doing it on a hotel room floor. They were doing it right. He laid her upon the bed, pausing only for a moment to take in her nearly naked form. The bruises no longer registered. Within seconds, his shirt was gone and his body covered hers. The weight of his chest flattened her breasts, as he relished the warmth of her soft skin. She wasn’t protesting and he was beyond the ability to stop. Securing her hands above her head, he forcibly seized her mouth as their tongues united.

Once her breathing became labored, he moved to the end of the bed, began at her ankles and worked his way toward her injuries. As his lips inched upward, her scent beckoned his approach. Maybe he wasn’t the only one to be here, but he sure as hell would do his best to make her forget anyone else. The lace panties didn’t stand a chance as the delicate fabric ripped under his determined grip. Looking up, he suddenly worried that she’d be upset; instead of anger, Tony saw yearning and desire. Instantaneously, his cheeks rose and he flashed a devilish grin. They both seemed to understand that he had a mission and there would be casualties—the panties were the first to go.

Tony was exactly where he wanted to be. It was familiar territory and he knew all the secret passages. He knew what Claire liked and what made her feel good. He knew that when his teeth nipped her hard nipples, she would arch her back and pull him tightly to her breast. He knew when her nails clenched his shoulders and words became difficult for her to articulate, she was only moments away from the throes of ecstasy. He also knew that as the night progressed, she’d be willing to take this renewal beyond the confines of the king-sized bed. Against the wall, across the desk or in the shower were all acceptable alternatives.

Although Tony would’ve liked to accept full credit for the heights they achieved, Claire was not an innocent bystander. Her confidence and independence were not limited to verbal retorts. Her boldness both surprised and satiated him. At one point, Tony questioned who was claiming whom. Remembering her words,
Tony, you are mine and nobody else’s,
he acquiesced; he’d met his match.

Perhaps he’d helped to create the woman before him. At one time he’d wanted nothing more than to subdue, control, and dominate her.
How could he have been so wrong?
While she was gone, his life was empty. Yes, there were things and money—none of that mattered. None of it held a candle to the way her words touched him, or the sensation of her tongue on his neck, her lips upon his skin, or her hands caressing…

She wasn’t only an amazing lover, but an amazingly strong woman who’d found a voice and was willing to speak to him like no other. Yet she would also allow him
reticent
and
genteel
in the presence of others. It was more than he’d ever imagined, more than he deserved.

When they finally submitted to sleep, no need was left unfulfilled. As his head settled against the soft pillow and Claire nestled against his chest, Tony wrapped his arm around her shoulder and allowed his body to relax. For now, she was safe and they were together. When her breathing slowed and her warm, sexy body melted into the crook of his arm, Tony inhaled her amazing aroma and closed his eyes.

For the first time in nearly a week, Anthony Rawlings fell into a deep sleep.

Sometimes the strongest among us are the ones who smile through silent pain, cry behind closed doors, and fight battles nobody knows about.

—Unknown Author

The first mailing to arrive at the estate addressed to
Claire Nichols Rawls
was a card, congratulating them on their impending parenthood. The card wasn’t signed, the address was typed, and the return address was Cedar Rapids—too close for comfort. Tony’s security team intercepted the card based on the unfamiliar name. Other than the name, there was no obvious threat; nevertheless, Tony met with his security team and household staff. Everyone was to be on the lookout for anything suspicious, and any such item was to be brought directly to him. Claire was not to be burdened.

It wasn’t a matter of hiding the truth from Claire; the way Tony saw it, he was protecting her—just as he’d promised to do. After the deliveries in California, Tony wanted Claire to feel safe. Though her laptop had not been found, he and Catherine had done everything possible to facilitate her sense of security, including maintaining Clay as Claire’s full-time bodyguard.

Though Claire tried to act strong, the attack bothered her more than she wanted to admit. She’d even fooled Tony, until one night in late June when he realized she wasn’t in bed. He scanned the large room and noticed the drapes amiss. Slipping quietly onto the private patio, Tony found Claire wrapped in the pink robe. Despite the warm summer night, she was hugging her midsection, shivering uncontrollably, and staring out into the sky. When he silently approached from behind, she jumped at his touch.

“O-oh, Tony, I didn’t hear you.” Her dampened cheeks revealed her hidden tears.

“What is it? Are you all right? Is the baby—”

She leaned into his embrace and nodded. “We’re fine.” The shuddering of her shoulders told another story. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll be better soon.”

Cupping her chin, he pulled her gaze upward. “What do you mean you’ll be better soon? What’s happening?” When she didn’t answer, he asked, “Has this happened before?”

Nodding, she replied, “I-I see him… it’s like he’s right here… I feel like I can’t breathe… sometimes it’s like…” Her words faded behind her sobs muffled by the cotton of his shirt.

For the longest time, Tony held her tightly under the starry Iowa sky, as she trembled against his chest. Eventually, her cries lessened and the quaking subsided. “Can we go back to bed?” he asked.

Claire nodded.

Once they were settled, she confessed to recurring nightmares. Tony couldn’t imagine. He’d only had his dream that seemed too real once, and she’d been battling these almost nightly. Hugging her, Tony asked, “Do you feel safe right now, here with me?”

Claire nodded against his chest. “I do. Now I do.”

He pleaded, “Then let me help you, please. Don’t try to fight him alone. I told you before that I wanted to kill the bastard myself. Please, Claire, let me help you do that. We’ll kill that memory together. He took too much from you and could have taken much more, from both of us. Together, we won’t let him take any more—not even your sleep. Please let me protect you.”

Her tears once again dampened his t-shirt. “I love you,” she whispered.

He kissed her hair. “I love you, too.” They fell asleep.

Though the nightmares continued, with time their frequency and intensity began to wane, and Claire’s sense of comfort around the estate continued to grow. She began acclimating herself in ways she’d never done when she lived there before. One of her favorite pastimes seemed to be gardening. They had multiple gardens, and Tony often found her outside in the sun, tending to the small plants. It wasn’t that he wanted her to work, yet the pleasure she derived from the activity was obvious. He wondered why she hadn’t done that when they were married. With her hands and knees covered in dirt, and a glow of perspiration, her smile brightened his world. Tony loved how when he’d get home from work, she’d drag him from flowerbed to flowerbed, explaining the different plants and telling him about their sun and moisture requirements. Although the flowers had always been present, without Claire he hadn’t noticed them.

One Saturday afternoon while he was working from home, through his office window Tony saw Claire at the pool. Suddenly, his work paled in importance. He slipped to their room, donned his bathing suit, and joined her in the cool, clear water. Each act, whether gardening or swimming, reinforced Claire’s increased level of comfort. With her hand in his, he noticed the dark evidence of her recent activity under her fingernails and teased, “I think you need a manicure after all of this manual labor.”

Giggling, Claire pulled her hand away. “I wasn’t planning on having anyone look that closely. Besides, I haven’t had a chance to shower yet.”

“Now that sounds intriguing!” He watched as his innuendo turned her expression sultry.

Since Claire’s rejection of his initial proposal, Tony avoided asking directly if she’d marry him. She’d said that if he did, he wouldn’t like her answer; therefore, he’d ease the subject into conversation. Though she’d continued to deflect his persistence—and he fully expected her to do it again—Tony wanted Claire to know that he wouldn’t give up. The warm Saturday afternoon and relaxed setting seemed as good of a time as any. With a mischievous grin, he said, “In the meantime, I know a way to divert people’s attention from your nails.”

While holding his shoulders with her legs wrapped around his torso, Claire glanced toward her left hand. His heart clenched and time stood still at the realization that she hadn’t immediately refuted his comment. Tony watched as her gaze lingered and her lips turned sweetly upward. With the reflection of the sun and water, her emerald eyes sparkled as Claire kissed him and replied, “Well, that shower I’m about to take… perhaps, if you can figure out a way to bring the ring in there, I’d slip it on. I mean—” she mused, “I wouldn’t want it to go down the drain.”

Grasping her growing waist, Tony gently pushed her away. He wanted—no needed—to see her clearly. “Are you finally saying yes, that you’ll be Mrs. Rawlings again?”

If it were possible, her smile grew. Nodding, she lowered her lips to his neck, instigated a growl he couldn’t control, and finally replied, “I’m willing to go from dating to engaged. Can we not rush the married part?”

As Tony took in his fiancée, Catherine’s words of warning tugged at his potential happiness. He didn’t want to be disappointed—he also didn’t want to disappoint. Tony needed to make sure his rules were clear. “There is one condition.”