Behind Her Smile (13 page)

“No problem. I’ve got some stuff to do this afternoon anyway. I’ll just hang out for half an hour or so and then split before she gets there.” He leaned over and gave her a kiss before taking off for his next class. “See you in the parking lot.”

Madison was elated. He really did like her after all. “See ya,” she replied with a smile.

Much as Madison wanted to comply with her parents’ wishes, she knew Miles better than they did. And she liked him. Plus, he really liked her. That must mean something. She’d get him to go to church with her eventually. She was sure of it. She just needed time. Time to build their relationship to a point where she could share her faith with him and convince him to give it a try. In the meantime, she couldn’t bear to give up the relationship and how special he made her feel.

That afternoon they began a pattern that would continue throughout the remainder of Madison’s grounding period. They’d meet at his car each afternoon, drive to her house, grab some food out of the kitchen and take it up to her room, sit on the floor by her bed and eat and talk. They could talk about anything and everything. But when Madison brought up the youth group or church, she could feel him begin to shut down.

Usually after about a half hour of talking, they’d end up making out. Madison felt so loved when she was in his arms, and she had to repeatedly remind herself to watch the clock and keep directing his hands away from places she wasn’t comfortable with them going.

She knew her boundaries, and for the most part, Miles seemed to respect her limits. He’d sometimes give a little moan of disappointment when she stopped him from unzipping her jeans or from reaching up under a mini skirt she was wearing. But the time factor helped, with both of them knowing he’d have to leave by three forty-five. If Madison’s mom called or texted and told her she’d be a little late, they’d stretch it to four. But never beyond that.

“It’s just not worth it,” Madison would say. Her parents would end it for sure if they caught them there alone together, no matter what was going on.

Then one day, everything changed. Michelle had a department meeting that would include dinner, Steve had a deposition late in the afternoon, and Caleb was going home with a friend for the afternoon and evening. Madison’s phone rang as she and Miles walked into the house.

“Hi Maddie. I’m going to have to stay late today for a department meeting,” her mother said. “We’re actually ordering pizza because we’ve got a few hours of restructuring to do to accommodate some new standards. I tried to get a hold of your dad, but he’s tied up in a deposition. So you’ll be on your own for a while.”

“What about Caleb?” Madison asked, pushing Miles hand away from her top.

“He’s going home with a friend for the afternoon and dinner. I’ll pick him up after my meeting.”

“Okay.”

“Maddie, you know the rules right?”

“Yeah. I know them,” she said, as she again pushed away her boyfriend’s probing hand.

“I can trust you, right?” Michelle asked.

“What do you think?” Madison replied defensively. She heard her mother sigh.

“Alright. I’ll see you around eight. There’s leftover chicken and vegetables in the fridge.”

“Got it. See you at eight.”

Madison and Miles had the house to themselves.

Across town, Joan was awakening from her afternoon nap. As she shuffled into the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea, the photo of Madison appeared on the screen of the slideshow picture frame. Gazing at her face, Joan suddenly felt a prompting to call her great granddaughter. She glanced up at the kitchen clock. Three-thirty. She should be home from school by now. Reaching for the phone, she dialed the number.

Miles pulled Madison into his arms. “Eight o’clock, huh?”

“Yeah,” she replied with a smile.

“I guess we’ll have to find a way to fill the time,” he mused, taking her by the hand and leading her to the stairway.

A voice in Madison’s head warned her not to go, but Miles gave her the sweetest smile and leaned over to whisper in her ear, “We’ll just relax and snuggle a little, okay?”

She nodded and began following him upstairs. Her phone rang again, and she glanced down at the screen. Grams? Why would she be calling.

“You aren’t going to spend the afternoon on the phone, are you?” Miles asked, a pleading puppy-dog look on his face.

Madison hit the silence button and made a mental note to call her back later, after her mom got home.

As they stretched out on the floor of her bedroom, Madison nestled down beside him, resting her head on his chest. “I like this room,” he said.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty. Like you.”

She smiled. “I’m glad you think so.”

He shifted his body and eased her head onto the floor then bent down and kissed her. “You taste good,” he murmured softly. “It’s that cherry lipgloss isn’t it?”

“Yep.”

“Think I’ll have a little more,” he replied, his kiss turning to a deep, passionate one.

She rolled onto her side, and they lay facing each other, entwined in a close embrace while they continued to kiss. Soon he was unhooking her bra and removing her top. As he gazed at her, he leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “I love you, Madison. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known.”

Her heart soared, and as their lips met, her resolve melted away. The boundaries dissolved completely, and soon they were both undressed. As his hands explored her body, Madison experienced feelings she’d never felt before. She gave all of herself in spite of her reservations. It wasn’t until afterward that she realized the full implication of their actions.

And then she felt another sensation she’d never experienced before. A feeling of utter panic coursed through her veins. She felt her throat close tight and her stomach clench as her heart pounded loudly in her ears.

“Are you okay?” Miles asked, as he pulled on his jeans.

She forced a smile, feeling lightheaded and afraid to stand. “Sure. Yeah, I’m fine.” She struggled to get dressed, took a deep breath, and then the panic seemed to subside.

As she stood up, Miles drew her into his arms. He bent down and looked into her eyes, giving her a long, deep kiss. “I’ve been waiting for that for a long time,” he said.

“Me, too,” she lied.

“Well, maybe I’d better leave,” he said after another kiss. “We don’t want your parents to show up with me here.”

“Right.”
Besides,
she thought,
what would we do now?
It didn’t seem like the time to watch television together or pull out homework. Something had changed. Everything. Now Miles loved her. But was she ready for that? Madison wasn’t sure.

Joan sat in her rocking chair with her tea, her spirit unsettled. Oh, Lord, what is it? What’s happening with Maddie? Should I call Michelle? Waiting for an answer, she rocked and continued to pray. Please protect her, Father. Give her wisdom, and help her know You are always there, watching over her.

The doorbell rang, and it was Margie. After offering her a cup of tea, Joan confessed her concerns. “Something’s not right. I can feel it in my bones,” she told her friend.

“Well, then let’s call the Sisters and step up our prayers,” Margie replied.

And that is exactly what they did. Silver-haired Sisters swung their swords of faith as they leveled scriptures against the forces of darkness.

The next ten days seemed to drag on for eternity as Madison waited for her period. All she could think about was her brother’s birthmother, Amber, and how she’d gotten pregnant in eighth grade.
At least Miles is almost eighteen,
Madison thought.
And he says he loves me.

She tried to picture what it would be like if she were pregnant. Would they get married? Would they live here with her parents while they finished school?

And what would
Luke
think of her?

“What difference does that make?” she asked herself aloud. “Luke is my past. Miles is my future.”

But she’d noticed some things about Miles lately that concerned her. For one, he seemed to always be trying to figure out ways they could be alone somewhere. And even when they were around other people, he found ways to secretly sneak in a caress of her breasts. His kisses in the hall, which had meant so much to her at the beginning, were now prolonged almost to the point of embarrassment, and she’d ended up late to more than one class.

Although he continued to drive her home everyday, she managed to keep him out of her bedroom, explaining that they couldn’t take another chance at being discovered. He’d even taken her out for a drive one afternoon to a pretty secluded area where they could be alone, but as they kissed and he began working her clothes off, she stopped him. “Not here. This doesn’t feel right,” she’d said.

Another thing that bothered her was that he’d sometimes make a comment indicating he was getting more open to going to church, but in the end, he always had some excuse when the weekend rolled around. Until they got that issue settled, she needed to keep the relationship low key with her parents. Since they didn’t know she was hanging out with him every day after school, she just brushed aside their questions about him, focusing more on talking about how she kept inviting him to church but it hadn’t worked out yet.

Finally, the day her period was due came and went. That night the same panic returned that she’d felt with Miles that afternoon in her bedroom. She was lying on her bed listening to music and trying to convince herself that everything would be okay, when it hit again. Her heart raced, pounding so loudly she couldn’t even hear the song that was playing. She felt out of breath, and her throat and stomach were tight.

She was terrified.
What’s happening to me? Am I going crazy?
She wanted to call Miles or to go and talk to her mom. But she didn’t have the nerve to share her fear with her boyfriend, and there was no way she was telling her mom about what had happened between them.

She forced herself to breathe, and a few minutes later, it subsided just like the last time.

Over the course of the next two days, she had two more panic attacks. Finally, her period started.
I’ll be okay now,
she thought.