Before Sunrise (20 page)

“
I’m a lucky man. If I ever
lost you, I….”

“
Hey,” she smiled sweetly.
“Everything is going to be okay. And honey, you will never lose me.
Don’t you dare even think it.”

***

“
Phil, I need to ask you
something. I need for you to do something for me.”

Phil looked up at her with relief. He’d
started to think Alexa was right, that there would be no saving his
marriage, that he’d lost her to Liam.

“
Anything,
sweetheart.”

“
I want you to move out for
awhile. Maybe you can find a place on base? Just until I can get my
head together. Until I can answer your questions.”

Phil’s smile faded. “You want me to leave
our home?”

“
It’s a lot to ask, I know.
I just—I need to get my head together. I can’t do that with you
here pressuring me, needing my reassurance. I’m not certain of
anything at this point. Including us.”

“
I can’t be away from you,
Kennedy. I know it’s selfish, but I’m really worried here, babe.”
He reached for her. She moved out of range of his hands.

“
I have a lot to think
about.”

Phil felt as though the air had been sucked
out of the room. His mind scrambled for a response, for leverage.
“What about Mackenzie? She’s only four. She’ll be looking for
me.”

“
You can come in the
evenings after work to see her so she won’t be too confused, but
Mac will need to spend time with Liam. That has to start
immediately. In fact, I’m going to arrange for him to see her
tomorrow.”

“
What? That’s not wise. You
have to do this gradually. You can’t throw Mac at him.”

“
I’m not doing that. She’s
his daughter. She knows that.”

“
It will be really confusing
to her. We need to supervise this together, explain it to her
together.”

“
She knows him, Phil. She
recognized him, ran right outside. And you know Liam. We can’t deny
him this. I’m being honest with you here, the thought of him having
a relationship with Mac gives me hope. I want that to begin
immediately, for both of them.”

“
For you.”

“
What?”

“
Admit it. You want to use
your daughter to soften him toward you. So that maybe he’d forgive
you for being human. For growing and becoming your own woman. I
remember how he treated you. How you wanted to go to school, to do
more, but you always wondered
what would
Liam think
. You’ve changed, Kennedy, for
the better. You are your own person, not some naïve girl who could
feed his hero complex.”

“
Wow.” Kennedy frowned. “I
never knew you felt that way about him.”

“
Huh? No, I only
meant—”

“
Oh, I got your meaning. Is
that how you saw us? How you saw me? That my love for my husband
made me weak?”

“
No. Sweetheart, I’m talking
out of my head. Damn it, I’m desperate. I’d say anything to keep
you from pushing me away. I’m sorry.”

Kennedy glared at him. Phil moved in,
tentatively at first, then closer. “You did nothing wrong. How long
since he was found? Think about it. How long before Liam told you
the truth?”

She rubbed her eyes. Phil watched as she
began to absorb it all. She’d never known the details, but she knew
Liam went on special missions. If the military rescued him, he
wouldn’t be coming through the door the next day. He watched her
calculating…how much time had passed before Liam was returned to
her?

“
He walked in here and no
one prepared you, Kennedy. Why is it wrong for you to take your
time and figure this out? You were young when you got with him,
practically a child, but you’re wiser now.”

“
Just stop insulting him,
okay? You made your point. I’m sick of hearing it! You know who you
sound like, Phil?”

“
Who?”

“
My mother. Boy, you can
sing her song really good. Poor dumb Kennedy, and mean ole
chauvinist Liam. No wonder you two get along so well.”

“
No more Liam remarks. I get
it. Just don’t send me away. Mackenzie thinks of me as her father.
I’ve been the only father she’s ever known.”

Kennedy threw her hands up,
then dropped them on her hips. “For the last time, she’s
his daughter
. I won’t
keep her from him for one moment. I know you love her. I’ll make
sure you have access to her. But I need space. I’m asking if you
would leave…for me? For us.”

Phil rubbed his jaw. “Only
if I can come every day to see Mac and
you
. I need to be in contact with you
two. You’re my family,” he said, and his voice cracked with
emotion.

She nodded. “Yes. Of course you can come
back to see Mac, in a day or two. “

He stepped to her. “What about you, Kennedy?
Tell me you haven’t given up already without giving me a chance to
fight for us.”

She shook her head sadly. “I just need
space.”

Phil grabbed her hand and kissed it. “I’ll
do anything for you. Even this. But I won’t give up on us, or the
family we’re supposed to have. I love you.”

Kennedy nodded slowly.

***

Liam felt a bit stronger when the hotel
receptionist handed him his card key. A little independence went a
long way. Vasquez handed over his duffel. “I’ll call tomorrow to
make sure we have a place for you. Not sure how big of a house it
will be, but….”

“
Whatever you can get for us
is fine. I just want Mackenzie to have her own room. A place she
can come stay and feel comfortable.”

“
Got it,
brother.”

“
Ant, I also need a car. You
know anyone, or—”

“
Done.”

Liam gave him a brotherly hug. He shrugged
the duffel over his shoulder and managed to carry it while
balancing his weight with his cane.

“
Liam! Wait!” came another
voice. He looked back to see Alexa Sinclair marching toward him.
Vasquez stopped as well, confused. Had she followed them? She kept
her eyes trained on Liam.

“
What are you doing here,
Alex?”

“
I called your house.” She
gave Vasquez a sideways look. “The press is on it. The news has
broken. Tomorrow is going to be a shitstorm and we need to talk.
Follow me. We can go on base and—”

“
Not tonight.” Liam turned
for the elevator.

“
Liam! This can’t wait. Do
you know what—”

“
I said
not tonight
.” He stalked off stiffly.
What the fuck did he care about government PR, when his life was
falling apart?

Chapter Nine

October 1994

Kennedy decorated all day. Fake cobwebs and
creepy insects tangled within; plastic Jack-o’-lantern, cardboard
black cats, and ghostly white ghouls were posted on the front of
the house. She’d erected a scarecrow in the yard. Earlier, her
mother had forced her to endure store-to-store shopping for
Harper’s Halloween party, and somehow it had also become her duty
to see to the outside decorations. Her sister was in third grade,
spoiled, and demanding, but also really appreciative, helping
wherever she could.

Kennedy wanted everything to
be picture-perfect for Harper’s special event. The whole family
did. Their dad had agreed to wire the outside of the house with
spooky dance music like
Thriller
and
Monster
Mash
. Their mother baked all kinds of
wicked treats, including goblin-decorated cupcakes and freshly
roasted pumpkin seeds and rice crispy eyes. The party was scheduled
for tomorrow, and she planned to dress up as a witch to greet the
guests as they arrived.

But the work didn’t keep her mind off of
him. She’d suffered through most of the day with Liam in her every
thought. Each minute ticked by painfully slow. She suffered for her
secret love . Her mom had been the first to notice. Gail commented
on how she shouldn’t be such a sourpuss in preparing for Harper’s
party. She played along, and kept her secret close to her chest.
Then good news came. Her mother caved. Her father convinced her to
attend one of his business dinners. So Kennedy called Liam and told
him the coast would be clear. Normally, when he drove to
Connecticut, Sierra could help arrange their meeting by extracting
her from the house. But Sierra’s grandma had fallen ill and the
family had gone to Miami Beach, which meant any subterfuge had been
put on hold.

“
Kennedy?”

She lifted her head from the windowsill.
Harper stood there with her white-and-black speckled cat Max in her
arms. “Mama said you would make me some macaroni when I wanted
it.”

Kennedy pondered the request. Liam would be
there any minute. She would have to find a way to keep Harper
distracted while she entertained him. But her pesky sister had
pretty much become her shadow when their parents weren’t home.
“Hey, do you want to hang out in the basement? Watch TV there?”

“
By myself?” Harper
frowned.

“
With Max…and maybe one of
my girls.” Kennedy’s gaze swept over to her bookshelf. She reached
for her prized American Girl dolls, collectibles and treasures no
one was allowed to touch, least of all Harper. They’d been gifts
from her daddy when she was Harper’s age. He had such a great tale
for each doll he presented to her. He gave Harper her own
collectible dolls now, but she remained fascinated with Kennedy’s
untouched ones. The truth was Kennedy preserved them because it
made her feel more like his little girl, even though, since Liam,
she was a woman.

“
Are you for real? You’re
going to let me play with them?”

“
One. You can play with this
one.” Kennedy smiled.

Harper reached her hand out. Kennedy put the
doll behind her back. “But you have to stay in the basement. Do not
come up, and don’t bother me the rest of the night. I’ll make you
some mac and cheese, too.”

Harper readily agreed.

Kennedy handed the doll over. “Cool. Let’s
go.”

They went downstairs. She fixed instant
macaroni in the microwave, then popped a bag of popcorn, and poured
Harper’s favorite, orange pop, over ice in a large cup. Her sister
looked upon the feast with wide, appreciative eyes. She was a cute
kid and mostly not a pain, but the manipulations were necessary.
Harper would tell her mother if she saw Liam and Kennedy together.
Kennedy wouldn’t risk that.

Just as Kennedy left Harper in the basement,
comfortably wrapped in a blanket with the Cartoon Network blaring,
she heard the doorbell ring. Kennedy nearly jumped out of her skin.
She hustled to the mirror in the vestibule and checked her makeup:
lip-gloss and a little eye shadow only. She also fixed the front
her salmon-pink sundress so it pushed up her breasts. Liam told her
he liked her hair curly and picked out. Incurring her mother’s
wrath, she’d let it air-dry all morning. She was ready.

Kennedy smoothed down the front of her dress
and approached the door like the lady of the manor. She opened it
and smiled.

Liam looked yummy. He stood there in his
leather three-quarter-length jacket and a baseball cap. “You
alone?”

“
You said you were going to
call,” she grinned. She pulled his hand.

“
Babe, I don’t think I
should come in. Can you leave?”

“
No. I told you, I got my
kid sister.”

“
Cool, let’s take her to get
something to eat.”

Kennedy’s eyes went wide. “Are you crazy?
She’ll tell on me.”

Liam sighed. He looked around at the
decorations and smirked. “Festive.”

“
Don’t ask. We do this every
year. Kids come to our house for a party instead of
trick-or-treating.”

“
It’s cool.” He
nodded.

“
Come on in.”

He didn’t move.

“
What’s wrong?”

“
Feels weird sneaking in
your house and all. Your age and shit. This is wrong. Let’s go for
a ride. Bring the kid.”

“
Oh, Liam, we talked about
this. Now come in, we don’t have all night.”

When he still wouldn’t move, she wanted to
scream at him. There would never be a perfect opportunity like
tonight. And truthfully, his standing there in his leather jacket
and Chicago Cubs baseball cap made her horny as hell. They’d had
sex, lots of sex, every time they saw each other. She craved him.
Liam was all over her and kind of rough with it but she liked his
aggression. She felt him and wanted him in ways she never imagined
she could.

“
Tell you what. How about
the boathouse?” She ventured outside despite the chill. Liam
stepped back. He looked at her three-story house and then at
her.

“
It’s around back. It’s
heated and private. Where did you park?”

“
Two houses down on the
street.”

“
Perfect. We can see anyone
coming. I can sneak back in the house if my folks come and you can
get away with no one ever noticing. It’s perfect.”

“
You’re shivering.” Liam
rolled off his leather jacket and threw it around her shoulders.
Kennedy felt nothing but the heat in his gaze. She rose to her
tiptoes and offered him glossed-up lips. To her delight, he
accepted the kiss and returned it, seeking what they’d both missed
all week.