Before Him Comes Me (18 page)

Zara cannot help giggling as Branden begins tickling Vivian
who does her best to continue to look angry and not smile.

“Ok. Ladies, we have some time before dinner is ready,” Branden
states as he hugs his sister with a final squeeze. “We have options. I’m stuck
in the kitchen. You two can tour the house and talk about what a wonderful guy
I am to cook Thanksgiving dinner or we can all hang out in here and ask Zara
tons of questions.”

He laughs as Zara’s eyes widened. “Questions it is then! We
will do a full tour later and convince Zara to crash here for the night in Garrett’s
room.”

Zara remains as still as possible working to school her
expression as Vivian does another happy dance.

“Zara, I do have so many questions but if you would prefer
not to talk about your past, I totally understand even though I really, really
want to know.”

Branden makes his way to the refrigerator as Vivian motions
for Zara to follow her up a transparent staircase. “We will be right back
brother. Cocktail me… it’s a holiday. Make one for Zara too, please. And do NOT
call Garrett to ask for permission. You owe me. You almost made me cry today.”

With that, Vivian starts up the stairs with Zara silently
following behind. Although the staircase looks ominous, the walk up is easy. “Branden
was totally against a two-story when we started. He didn’t want to have to
climb stairs every night. So I came up with staircases that have twice as many
steps but the lift is shorter so it feels like you are walking normally.”

As the pair walks across an open balcony, Zara stops and looks
down at the first level.

“WOW… spectacular,” she whispers. Out of nowhere, she feels
two arms go around her in a squeezing hug. Feeling her tense, Vivian releases
her.

“I’m sorry. No one has ever said such nice things about my
work. Well, and not been related to me. Come. Let me show you.”

Continuing further to the end of the balcony, Vivian opens
the glass door and they enter an entryway. She opens the double door to the
left of the entryway.

“Welcome to Chateau Dawson.” Standing aside so Zara can
enter and look around, she continues, “Branden insisted that Garrett and I both
have a space here. They work constantly and it made sense to have a place to
crash. My room is the other double door.”

Walking into a spacious living room, Vivian takes Zara
further into the suite, reminded by the design of his home and his room at the
beach house. It definitely fit the Garrett that she was becoming familiar with.

“The bathroom has all your regular items and there is a
section in the closet with clothes for you as well. A small section.” Zara
looks at her questioningly as she waves her into the bathroom.

“Oh, yes, my darling. Garrett gave specific orders where you
are concerned,” Vivian chuckles. “When I was organizing all of your clothes for
the various locations, Branden was adamant that you would never be staying here,
so why include this in the locations. Joke’s on him.”

The huge smile plastered on Zara’s face makes Vivian laugh. “So,
I am guessing you are a bath person. Me too. I blew my entire budget for my
space on the huge bathtub and closet.”

Zara walks over to the edge of the bathtub and runs her
fingers over the different bottles of oils and bubbles. A thought pops into her
mind that she knows she has no right to even ponder.

As if reading her mind, Vivian whispers in her ear, “To my
knowledge, he has never brought another woman here. Even Branden entertains
elsewhere. God forbid, his sister ever find out that he is not a virgin.”

Laughing, Vivian walks out into the connecting room. “We
have plenty of time before dinner. Why don’t you take a soak in the tub? I plan
to take a long bath as well. We can meet in the kitchen in an hour.”

“What about Branden? He sounds as if he would enjoy company
and he is preparing the meal.”

“Finally, someone cares about me.” Branden walks in carrying
two large glasses with pineapple wedges on the sides. Handing one to Vivian, he
gives the other to Zara. “I will not be offended if you do not drink this. And,
please, enjoy a bath. As I remember, the dorm bathrooms are not the most
relaxing. Even if G-man did make them redo it for his Zara.”

Walking out, Branden waves and says he would see them both
in an hour and that they had clean-up duties following dinner.

Vivian clanks Zara’s glass then walks toward the door as
well. “YAY… Thanksgiving bath time. Enjoy!”

Zara stands in the middle of the spacious room. She does not
know what she had expected to be doing for Thanksgiving, but standing in Garrett’s
home away from home was not it. Looking around, a picture on the bedside table catches
her eye. Still holding the clothes that Vivian had handed her and sipping the
drink that Branden brought, Zara makes her way over to the table.

Stunned, Zara sets the clothes on the bed and picks up a sleek
grey frame. It contains a picture of her. Composed in black and white, it is a
photo of her sitting in a park looking out at nothing. Zara recognizes the
photo from a visit to one of her favorite places in Chattanooga.

Sloane had suggested that they visit the park the day before
Zara’s Circle Ceremony and they went knowing everything in both their lives
would change the next day. The photographer had caught her in a serious moment of
contemplation when she had been thinking about what her Sir would be like and whether
she would find happiness with him.

Zara returns the frame to its place on the table. Collecting
the change of clothes, she makes her way to the bathroom. Nothing could prepare
her for how this day was turning out, but a hot bath in the middle of the day
seemed like a fantastic idea at this point and she turned on the water. She
plugs the tub and selects a peppermint mix to add to the water. A light knock
at the door startles her.

“It’s Viv. Are you still dressed?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent!” The door flies open. Vivian stands in a fluffy
white robe closed with a red cord. She crosses the room and places a small
pitcher on a flat surface of the bathtub. “Branden makes the best cocktails
even if they’re virgin.”

Vivian winks at Zara. “I wanted to make sure you figured out
the tub and had everything you needed. Okay… Okay… Okay… I am leaving you alone
now.”

Before Zara can respond, Vivian turns and walks out of the
bathroom.

“I’m locking the bedroom door behind me. Get your ass in
that tub. We have exactly one hour,” she yells from the bedroom. Zara smiles as
she hears Vivian laughing to herself.

Zara checks to make sure the water temperature is just right
and slowly slips into the bubbly hot bath. With a big sigh, she closes her eyes
and leans back only to find she is bombarded by memories. Her mother. Ella and
Liliana. School. Vivian. Branden. Garrett. The photo.

Sitting up to take a drink, Zara thinks about the photo again.
The existence of the photo itself is intriguing. She could not recall a camera
at the park that day.

Nothing that she contemplated on that day in the park had
happened the way it was supposed to. In fact, the unthinkable had occurred and
months later Zara was still trying to understand how the pieces of her life would
fit together. Zara turns off the water. The tub is big enough and the water
deep enough that she can fully submerge and she lies back allowing her body to
fully relax.

Garrett. What is he doing right now? Where is he? What is he wearing?
How did he get that picture? Did I make a mistake?

Zara lifts the pendant and studies the small ‘G’ as it hangs
next to the large ‘Z.’

Did I make a mistake choosing school? My life would have been so
different if I had continued with the Ceremony. My family would still love me. Sloane
would still be my best friend. I would be married to Garrett. I would be secure
in my future.

Blinking, Zara fills her glass with the contents of the
pitcher and takes another large sip. Setting the glass down on the edge of the
tub, she focuses on the tiny bubbles clinging to the inside of the glass and
tries to clear her thoughts.

Regret is unhealthy. Zara starts a mental list of what she
likes about Garrett. She thinks about the time she and Garrett spent at the
beach before he dropped her off at school. He always found a way to make her
feel comfortable. Sitting in front of the fire, he had led the conversation in
a way that put her at ease. He was fascinated with her lack of music knowledge
and vowed to change that to show her how important music is to one’s life.

Zara remembers how his face lights up as he talks about the
things he loves, his time at MSU and, although Garrett did not talk about his
work much, she knew it was a passion of his by the way his shoulders seemed
broader when he commented on it.

I miss his face. I miss Garrett.

Zara sighs.

Carefully stepping from the tub, she wraps herself in a
fluffy white towel and walks to the closet. Seeing Garrett’s hanging clothes,
she grabs a blue button down shirt and draws it to her nose hoping for a
mixture of cool mint, brown sugar and lemons. She wants to smell his scent. There
is nothing to smell but fresh linen.

Returning to the bathroom, Zara dries off and dresses in the
soft comfy clothes she had been given. Despondently, she gathers the clothes
that she had worn earlier and makes her way into Garrett’s bedroom. Passing
through the door, Zara freezes.

Garrett stands by the bed. “Happy Thanksgiving, Little One.”

Without a word, Zara drops the clothes she is carrying and
walks into his waiting arms, a sob catching in the back of her throat. She crushes
him until she feels the rumble of his laughter in her chest. “Were those two
that awful to you?”

In a feather-light voice, she breaths into his neck, “I have
missed you.”

“I missed you too.” She resists as he pulls her away from
his body to meet her eyes. “Please do not cry.”

Hearing those words, Zara pushes herself closer into him to
hug him harder. “Hey. What is it?”

Garrett scoops her into his arms and carries her to the
outer room. Once seated, he takes her face in his hands and forces her chin up.
“Zara, look at me.”

Immediately, her eyes flickered up to confront the
apprehension.

“I’m sorry. I just… I did not expect you today. I’m
surprised.”

“Is there anything else? Did Viv make you feel
uncomfortable?” he queries with concern.

Shaking her head, she affirms how considerate Vivian has
been. “No, she has been kind. Vivian let me take a bath in your massive tub. I
can get off your lap.” Zara begins to move but she feels Garrett tighten his
grip around her. Enfolded against his chest, Zara decides to tell Garrett what
she wants.

“May I ask a question?”

“Anything.”

Zara likes the vibrations of his voice when she is against
his chest. She takes a deep breath and leans back to look into his eyes.

“That bad?” he asks.

“Can we begin to spend more time together?” Zara blurts, surprising
herself with the volume and force she uses to ask for his time. Her confidence
drains away as she feels Garrett tense around her.

“Zara, what are you asking? I need you to be clear with me.”

“I… I just want to be with you. I am sorry. If that is not
what you want–”

“Wait… No… hey hey hey.” Garrett pulls her back to his
chest. “I want to be clear only because I don’t want to misunderstand your
intentions. You and I need to communicate very thoroughly with each another. That
is the only reason I asked you to explain yourself. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Zara, as much as I enjoy hearing you call me Sir, until you
are ready for me to make that commitment, I need for you not to call me that. You
and I both understand the significance of that title and I am not your Sir.”

“I am so sorry.” She swallows against the lump in her throat.

“Zara, there is nothing to be sorry about. I very much like
the way my name sounds coming out of your mouth.”

A knock at the door interrupts their conversation. “We need
to head downstairs.”

Zara nods and begins to pull herself away from the most comfortable
spot she has ever been in. Garrett helps her to her feet. As he stands, he
pauses to cup her face in his hands.

“We will finish this conversation after dinner, but so you
don’t spend the day lost in your thoughts, the answer to your question is that I
would love to begin spending more time with you. If you think you’re ready.”

Zara cannot hide the smile or the blush that erupts over her
face. “I am ready.”

Zara holds her breath as Garrett lowers his face to hers to
look deeply in her eyes. He brings her a little closer to look even deeper. His
gaze dips down to her smile then returns to her eyes once more, coming closer
yet. Zara melts into his embrace as Garrett’s lips gently brush against hers.

Unbidden, Zara’s eyes close in ecstasy as he presses against
her tenderly and opens his mouth to tug lightly on her bottom lip. Zara follows
where he leads her and as Garrett’s tongue slips between her lips, her tongue
yields and meets it. Another more insistent knock issues from the door.

Garrett chastely kisses her on the lips twice and moves away.

“We need to go eat dinner before the National Guard is
called out. Then we need to continue doing more of that and finish our
conversation. Sound like a plan?”

Zara does not say anything. She touches her lips with her
fingers and smiles.

“You liked that. I liked it too, Little One.” Garrett takes her
hand and draws her out of his room.

“Oh. I forgot the glass and pitcher. Garrett,” she adds
smiling.

Garrett kisses her lips quickly again.

“Leave it. We can get it later. And keep saying my name.” One
last double peck on the lips and Garrett leads her to the stairs. At the top,
he steps out the way to allow Zara to descend the staircase first. Once at the
bottom, she pauses. He grabs her hand again and they walk hand in hand to the
kitchen.

“Well… well… well. Don’t you look at wee bit happier than
when you first arrived,” Branden proclaims, looking up from the ham he is
slicing. “And there we have the blushing to prove it. Zara, you glow when you
are so happy.”

Looking down, Zara focuses on her hand locked within Garrett’s.
“She did miss me. Maybe I should go away more often.”

Zara looks up to catch Garrett staring at her with a teasing
smile and sparkling eyes lighting up his face.

“No. I would prefer if you did not leave again.” Satisfied
by the look of surprise on Garrett’s face, she giggles as he pulls her close
and plants a firm kiss on her ready lips.

“If you two could stop staring at each other for five
seconds, dinner is served,” Vivian murmurs. Zara takes a step towards the table
and Vivian motions for her to sit. As she takes her seat, Zara wonders about the
difference in Vivian’s demeanor.

“Vivian, is everything alright?” Zara asks in a hushed voice
as Garrett makes his way around the large island to talk to Branden.

“I’m fine. The bath and cocktails mellowed me out a bit.” She
gives Zara a half smile and sighs. “And I had my heart set on asking you a shit
ton of questions. Garrett’s ruined that plan.”

Looking up, Zara shakes her head. “I am sorry, but I do not
understand. How does Garrett’s presence change asking me questions?”

“Because Garrett will not allow you to be pestered,” Garrett
answers as he places the ham on the table. He kisses the top of Zara’s head and
walks back into the kitchen.

“Vivian, you can still ask me whatever you want to ask. I
may not answer some of the questions but you are more than welcome to ask.”
Zara looks down at her hands resting in her lap and smiles to herself. “I
appreciate his protecting me but I would not think that you would ask to hurt
me. You are one of Garrett’s best friends. Please ask.”

“Okay. But you have to start calling me Viv. Vivian makes me
feel old.” Viv’s face transforms with a big smile. “Where should we begin?”

Garrett and Branden appear at the table with the last of the
food, the experience entirely different for Zara than every Thanksgiving before
this one. Zara’s mother would have been in the kitchen for two days preparing
the day’s meal and Zara would also have been expected to assist at the mere
request for help.

Zara finds it unsettling to see Branden in the kitchen and having
the two men serve the food. She had spent her life training to serve and it
takes a lot of concentration to sit and not help.

As Garrett sits down beside her, he grabs Zara’s knee and
gives it a quick squeeze. With the food passed and plates full, Viv asks her
first question. “How does the whole thing work?”

“Viv!” Branden snaps.

“What? She said I could ask.”

Clearing her throat, Zara asks her own question. “What
exactly as you asking? Can you narrow the question down for me?”

“I understand the basics of BDSM. I understand that you and
Garrett are from BDSM communities. But I don’t understand how it works. It is
my understanding that relationships of that nature take time and trust to
develop. Consent and something else. Yet you’re a couple that essentially knew
nothing about each other when you were to marry.”

“So you are asking how the Community works?” Zara restates
the question in order to give herself a moment to process an answer. Viv is
nodding as she is chews.

“You are correct about BDSM relationships taking time and
trust. The majority of the members of the Community are individuals that made a
choice to enter into the lifestyle. A very small core of members makes up the
King Council. Have you discussed the Council with Garrett?”

All three shake their heads no. Garrett reaches over and
lays his hand on Zara’s knee. “Zara, you don’t have to discuss this. You know
as well as I do that this is confidential.”

She pauses briefly then continues with clarity and
conviction. “Garrett, I have no issue discussing this with your friends. I don’t
believe that either of them have plans to publish an article or are researching
a book about us.”

Zara turns her attention back to her waiting audience and
begins to share her story. “The King Council is the core of the Community. The
governing body, if you will. Let me start further back.