Before (7 page)

If Reid Harper came through for me with that offer of an apprenticeship in Sydney, I’d be indebted to him and Mrs. Gee. If it weren’t for her, I never would’ve had the opportunity to try cooking fancy stuff let alone have someone like Reid taste it, enjoy it and want to recommend it.

Reid had headed off this morning, along with Doreen. Leaving the homestead to run as per usual. Stockmen taking care of the cattle, Bluey the station manager in charge of the everyday running, Gladys ensuring the household ran smoothly, Mrs. Gee and I doing the cooking.

And one pest of a houseguest who I couldn’t stop thinking about.

If I had a rare afternoon off, I’d usually go for a horse ride. I liked the rush of galloping that would clear my head. And the solitude. But looked like I might have a hanger-on today.

“You going for a ride?” Jess propped in the doorway of the stable, looking way too tempting for someone who should be off limits.

Not that there was anything particularly sexy about her faded skinny jeans and red T-shirt, but it was the way she wore them. Comfortable in her own skin. Classy. And way out of my league.

“Yeah.” I cinched the girth, checked the stirrups.

“Want some company?”

“Not really.”

Rude? Hell yeah. But the last thing I needed right now was to be accompanied by the woman I wanted to get my hands on.

“Why? Afraid I’ll show you up?” She sauntered into the stable, a determined glint in her eyes. Big, beautiful brown eyes that were fixed on me. “I didn’t pick you for a coward.”

Was she talking about the ride or something else? Like the fact every time we were within two feet of each other, we sparked, and I ran.

“What are you, twelve? Trying to use reverse psychology on me?” I patted the gelding’s neck as the horse skittered slightly when Jess approached.

“God, you’re full of yourself,” she said, wrinkling her pert nose like she’d just stepped in a pile of horse shit. “How about we forget the fact I saw your dick and get past it so we can hang out without any crap?”

She actually blushed when she said dick and I laughed. She was adorable. And I wanted her real bad.

“What if I don’t want to get past it?” I threw it out there as a deliberate taunt, knowing she’d bolt if I harped on it. “What if I want you to remember it in vivid detail?”

I expected her to tell me to fuck off. I expected her to turn tail and run. I didn’t expect her to take a step forward, invading my personal space, as she placed a hand on my chest.

“What if my memory’s not that good and I need a reminder?” She stared up at me from beneath long lashes, her bravado making me want to kiss the smirk from her lips all the more.

“Already told you, swing by the shack at dusk any day.”

“Maybe I will.” She patted my chest in a strangely intimate gesture that made me want to haul her into my arms, back her into one of the empty stalls and demonstrate what a roll in the hay meant. “But for now, I’ll settle for a ride.”

I had two options. Blow her off—damn, bad analogy—or suck it up like a man. Another shitty analogy.

It wasn’t her fault I wanted to get into her panties. Besides, Reid had asked me to look after her, show her some sights, that kind of thing. How would it look if Reid returned, asked Jess what she’d done and she said nothing because I’d been a bad-tempered prick?

“Fine,” I said, sounding like a sulky brat. “I assume you can ride?”

“You’ll see how well shortly, when I whip your ass in a race.” She cocked her hip in challenge and damn if I didn’t want to bend her over my knee and whip her arse for real.

“Confident, much?” I muttered, secretly pleased she could ride. Last thing I felt like doing was babysitting a newbie in the saddle.

“So which horse should I saddle up?” She wandered over to the stalls and that’s when a new predicament struck.

The workmen were out on their mounts, one of the usual homestead rides was in foal, the other mare was due for shoeing and I had the gelding. Which left Doreen’s stallion that no one touched on threat of castration.

“Sorry, I forgot, there’s no spare mount at the moment,” I said, feeling worse now than I had a few minutes ago when I’d refused her just to be churlish.

She tut-tutted. “You’ll go to any lengths to avoid spending time with me.”

“I’m not bullshitting you—”

“What about I ride pillion with you?”

Hell no. Having her taut little body pressed against me from behind, her arms wrapped around me, her crotch against my arse? A thousand times no.

“That wouldn’t be fair on old Dundee.” I patted the gelding’s rump and he stood there, placid and expectant, contemplating the two idiotic humans with a slight turn of his head.

“He looks as strong as a draft horse,” she said, stroking Dundee’s neck with smooth, repetitive movement, making me wish she’d touch me like that.

My cock hardened. Not helping.

As if sensing the real reason behind my reluctance, she pinned me with a sassy stare. “Pity. Might be kinda nice for a shy, college girl like me to head home with tales of riding real close to a rugged, handsome Aussie.”

I snorted and Dundee joined in. “Yeah, like flattery will make me change my mind.”

Though her mention of college did spark my memory, something I’d wanted to ask her about since that tour I’d taken her and Reid on.

“Did some guy in college do a number on you?”

Her smile faded and I could’ve sworn she paled. “I don’t know what you mean by doing a number?”

“Come on, Jess, don’t pull the Aussie-ism versus Americanism card now. You know what I mean.”

She tilted her head up in defiance and it made me want her all the more. “How do you know anything happened?”

“Don’t do that.” I jabbed a finger at her. “Don’t treat me like I’m some hick, ignorant dickhead who can’t read people.”

When her lips compressed in a mutinous line, I stepped forward, close enough I could smell a soft floral fragrance. Lilacs. Delicate and elegant, like her.

If I’d hoped to intimidate her into telling me the truth, it didn’t work, because she merely tilted her head back to glare at me.

Looked like I’d have to give a little to get a little back.

“Want to know how I got so good at reading people? Spend ten years in the foster system and you soon learn when arse-holes are lying to you or not.”

Her expression softened. “What happened to your folks?”

“Dad shot through when I was four, Mum when I was six. I was a rotten brat.” At least, that was the guilt trip Mum used to lay on me for the reason Dad left. What was her excuse?

Sadness downturned Jess’s mouth. “I’m sorry.”

She touched my arm and I tried not to flinch. I couldn’t have her touching me, not when I wanted to touch her so badly I ached.

“I don’t need your pity, but maybe now you can understand why I want to know what happened at your college?” Unable to resist, I snagged a strand of her hair and wound it around my finger. “And I know it’s something bad by the way you completely shut down in the car when study buddies were mentioned.”

“You’re very observant,” she said, her gaze transfixed on my finger as I wound her hair tighter and tighter before releasing it when I got too close to the tender skin above her ear.

“Occupational hazard.” I scrunched up my face, pretending to think. “Having to keep the broccoli from bullying the beans, the squash from
beet
ing the pumpkin, get it?”

Her soft laughter made me want to hold her. “That’s a woeful pun.”

I touched her forearm and I swore I heard her sigh. “Tell me.”

Indecisive, she nibbled on her bottom lip, and it took every ounce of my willpower not to do the same.

“Jess?” I slid my fingers down her forearm to her hand, where I threaded my fingers through hers.

I had no idea why I did it. I didn’t go for handholding. Not that I had girlfriends long enough to do it.

“A guy I trusted, my closest study buddy, tried to rape me.” Her flat, emotionless monotone spoke volumes. She’d tried to block it out.

I squeezed her hand so hard she yelped and I released her as rage consumed me. I wanted to beat the bastard to a pulp. Crush him without mercy. Kick his head in.

“It didn’t get too far before I escaped, but the fact it happened in the first place?” She shook her head. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No you’re not—”

“I trusted that slime ball!” she yelled and Dundee sidestepped.

“Sorry, fella.” She patted Dundee’s neck. “I thought I knew him and I didn’t know him at all, which really makes me doubt my own judgment.”

Not only had this prick assaulted her, he’d made her question herself. I could definitely kill him with my bare hands.

“Nothing wrong with your judgment.” I forced myself to relax, to allow my anger to dissipate. “You’re here with me, aren’t you?”

She managed a small smile, just as I intended. “So now you know. Happy?”

“Considering what I want to do to that fucktard for hurting you, I’m so far from happy it’s not funny.” I recaptured her hand. “But some good did come out of it.”

“What?”

“We’ve moved past the outdoor shower scene moment and have actually connected as friends.”

The moment the words tumbled from my mouth I wanted to slap myself upside the head. We weren’t friends. We could never be anything more than passing acquaintances.

But having her trust me with something so important made me feel closer to Jess than I had to anyone in a long time, if ever.

“Friends.” She shook my hand like a buddy, her tremulous smile making my heart do a weird jive. “Who ride pillion.”

I laughed. “Lady, you drive a hard bargain.”

“Cookie, you have no idea.”

“Cookie?”

“My nickname for you. You cook, right?”

I’d never had a nickname before and it touched me. “Plus I’m sweet and delectable.”

She rolled her eyes.

“And edible,” I added, determined to get back onto familiar territory, with the two of us sparring with an underlying hint of sexuality.

Nicknames implied intimacy and closeness, two things I couldn’t afford to have with Jess. No matter how much I might secretly crave them.

She released my hand and shoved me away. “Yeah, but like the real thing, too much will make me puke.”

God, I loved how quick she was. I could easily fall for Jess as more than a friend, which would be the ultimate act in masochism.

She was leaving in two weeks. She was a girl so far out of my league I’d need a stepladder to get up there. And her brother was doing me a massive favor.

Three sane reasons to keep my distance.

Pity I’d never been any good at sanity.

JESS

When would I learn?

Daring Jack to let me ride pillion had been a deliberate ploy to rattle him at the time. But now? With my arms wrapped around him, my body on fire from our proximity and the pure male scent of him filling my senses? I was the one seriously rattled.

Not that the last ten minutes hadn’t been exhilarating, galloping through the station’s grounds and beyond, mile after mile of arid beauty. I didn’t know where to look first so kept my cheek firmly pressed against Jack’s back.

Now that we’d slowed to a trot, I could hear my thoughts again above Dundee’s pounding hooves. And they weren’t pretty.

Why did I blab all that stuff about Dave? I barely knew Jack and all we did was try to score points off each other. Yet when he’d said we were friends? I could’ve hugged him. Having him share some of his past with me had precipitated my verbal diarrhea, I knew that, but how did it happen that I felt closer to Jack than I did with any of my college friends?

Two semesters at UNLV and I still couldn’t name one person I would’ve told about Dave…bar Dave. And that’s what irked the most, that the one guy I’d chosen to trust as a friend in my freshman college year had turned out to be anything but.

“We’ll stop here and eat.” Jack reined in Dundee near the bottom of a small valley and I let the peacefulness wash over me.

It was like Jack and I were the only two people in the world.

“You can let go of me now,” he said, clearing his throat.

“And spoil my fun?” I gave him a tight squeeze, akin to a Heimlich maneuver, and chuckled when I heard his ooph.

I swung my leg over Dundee’s rump and slid to the ground. My butt ached, my back twinged and my legs wobbled, but as I watched Jack’s mighty fine ass as he dismounted, it was so worth it.

He turned and caught me staring, a slow grin spreading across his face. “What is it with you and my nether regions?”

Damn, I was busted. “Maybe they’re so impressive I can’t help but stare?”

“I’m flattered, but don’t waste your time.” He busied himself making Dundee comfortable, leaving me to ponder what he meant.

“A girl can’t look?”

“Looking is fine. Touching isn’t,” he muttered, sounding increasingly grouchy as he gave Dundee a final pat and started setting out the picnic he’d packed.

“Why’s that?”

He glanced up from the blanket he’d spread on the ground. “Because I won’t be your holiday fling.”

Guess that meant I couldn’t tell him he’d be my first, too.

“Surprising.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why? Because you think a bum like me would have sex with any woman who crossed my path?”

Wow, there was way more going on here than me making a flippant remark and him taking it out of context.

I held up my hands. “Whoa. PMS, much?”

Some of his tension eased as I glimpsed a flicker of a smile. “Sorry, you hit a nerve.”

I wanted to know more, despite doubting the wisdom of prodding him when he was in a mood. “Because you’ve been sleeping your way across the east coast of Australia?”

“Something like that,” he said, through gritted teeth, as he resumed laying the picnic out.

If I’d been curious before, I was positively intrigued now. Considering the Chris Hemsworth thing he had going on, I wasn’t surprised he’d never lack for willing partners in bed. Jack was seriously gorgeous. But rather than being proud of the fact like most egotistical guys would be, he sounded…disgusted.