Beers, Lies and Alibis (Warblers Point Series Book 2) (29 page)

When she was in Finn’s living room, she took off her hat and shook her hair, which infused his living room with the light flowery smell of her hair. She was intoxicating.
 

She turned around and smiled at him. “Thanks for letting me come over.”

“Can I take your coat?” Finn felt so awkward.

“That would be great, thanks.”

They were so pleasant with each other, as if they hadn’t gone through a horrific break-up a couple of months ago. It was as if they were in some other world where leprechauns and unicorns floated around handing out candy to the garden gnomes that lined the streets of Pleasant Town.
 

After hanging her coat up, Finn went to put some tea on the stove, since it was kind of cold in his apartment, thanks to the poor insulation of an old building.
 

“Sorry it’s kind of cold in here. I haven’t been around much, so I haven’t been cranking the heat.”

“It’s okay,” she said, as she approached Finn’s kitchen counter where he was preparing two mugs. “How are you doing, Finn?”

Finn looked up into her bright blue eyes and sighed. “Better now.”

Blaire shifted in place. “I got your letters. Thank you.”

She didn’t look at him when she thanked him, as if she was too shy to admit that she was actually happy he wrote them.
 

“I meant every word,” Finn said, as he poured hot water into the mugs and steeped the tea bags. He added a little bit of sugar and milk and then handed Blaire her cup as they both headed over to the couch.
 

Finn didn’t really need tea because he was sweating like a beast from being so damn nervous, but he thought it would be polite to join Blaire in a cup of tea, even if he didn’t care for the dirt water all that much.
 

“I don’t know what to say,” Blaire said honestly. “When I heard that your dad was in the hospital, I knew I had to come out here and be with you, be with your family. I don’t know why.”

Finn touched Blaire’s cheek so she would actually look at him. “I love you, Blaire. More than anything and having you here is the best thing that’s happened to me since the day you walked into O’Learys pub…”

“But…”

She could read him like a book.
 

“But I don’t want your pity. I don’t want you here if you’re here because you think it’s the right thing to do. I didn’t tell you about my dad because I wanted you to come back here and pity me for a week and then leave again. I only want you here if you want to be here with me, truly with me. I’m not being an ass, I just can’t take it if you stay for a week and I get my hopes up, but then you end up leaving. I only want you here if you’re going to stay.”

“How can I make that kind of decision?” Blaire and Finn both put their tea down. “To just move across the country for something we shared for a short stint of time. How is that practical?”

“Sometimes love isn’t practical, Blaire. Sometimes you have to risk everything to see where it leads you. If you have faith and trust in the person you love, then there should be no doubt in your mind about your future.”

Blaire studied her hands, completely avoiding all eye contact with Finn. The fact that she wouldn’t look at him gave him his answer, she didn’t really want to be with him.
 

Defeated, Finn got up from the couch and said, “I get it. I, uh…I’m just going to go lay down. Thanks for coming by, but please forgive my rudeness for not seeing you out.”

Finn walked to his bedroom and gently closed the door, even though all he wanted to do was slam it. He sat on his bed and ran his hands through his hair as his elbows rested on his knees. He felt completely lost, as if the universe had just sucked every last ounce of life out of him.
 

At least he was honest with her, he thought…even though it hurt, he was honest. He would have hated for her to stay out of obligation and then rip his heart out later after building hope up for their relationship.
 

Just wanting to block the world out for the night, Finn turned off his phone, pulled his shirt off and got under his covers, not really caring that he was still wearing his jeans. He was too lazy to bother with them.
 

“Finn?” Finn’s head shot up from his pillow just after he’d laid it down and he saw Blaire peek her head through the crack of his bedroom door. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” Finn sat up and put his back against his headboard as Blaire walked up to his side of the bed and sat down.
 

She took his hand in hers and drew light circles on his palm with her index finger. “I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?”

She took a second to gain her courage and then looked him in the eyes. “It happened so fast, you and me, that is. We happened so fast and I wasn’t expecting it. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with you in a matter of weeks and I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with your crazy and chaotic family,” she smiled lightly. “But I did.”

She continued, “After I left and went back to California, I had no urge to find a job, no urge to do anything. I felt lost and, for the life of me, I couldn’t find a direction to follow. Then…” she looked up at him again, “I started receiving your letters.”

Finn felt his chest expand at her words, but he continued to hold his breath as he waited in anticipation for what she was going to say.

“They were like a guiding light for me. They gave me hope, something to look forward to. They got me through my days, days that were full of self-loathing and depressing thoughts of where my life had gone. Your letters saved me Finn, they saved me from throwing in the towel.”

“What do you mean?” Finn asked hesitantly.

“I mean…I just…I had a lot of prescription drugs available at my disposal…” Blaire cut off, as a tear rolled down her face.
 

Finn scooped Blaire up in his arms and set her on his lap as he cradled her head into his chest.
 

“Jesus.” His chest constricted at the thought of Blaire killing herself. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever received the news that the woman of his dreams, his heart, committed suicide. He didn’t even want to think about it.
 

“Blaire, I don’t know what I would have done.”

“You saved me, Finn.” She reached up and rubbed her finger along his lip. “But I’m scared. The feelings I have for you are so strong; I’ve never experienced such feelings before. You can destroy me; you almost did. I don’t know if I can handle being torn apart again.”

Finn kissed her finger and said, “I could never hurt you again. I might do something stupid that will piss you off and I might break promises, but I will never hurt you like I did. I love you, Blaire. Like I said, you are my forever and I fucking mean that. You are my fucking forever.”

Tears streamed down Blaire’s face as she gathered Finn’s head in her hands and pulled his lips toward hers. The first touch of their lips together was perfection finally taking place in his life. If he had Blaire, he could get through anything because she was everything to him. They had a quick relationship, they fell hard and fast for each other and experienced pain no one should ever have to experience, but they had come through the other end of the tunnel. They now had each other.
 

Finn pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. “I love you so damn much, Blaire.”

Blaire lightly kissed Finn on the lips and said, “I love you too, Finn. I’m terrified, but I’m ready to make this happen. I’m ready to move here and be with you. I want to be with you.”

“I can’t even describe to you the amount of joy you just gave me.” Finn flipped Blaire on her back and hovered over her as she smiled up at him. “God damn, I love you.”

“Show me, Finn.”

“Gladly,” Finn said, as he quickly stripped her down. “Gladly.”

***

Fiona held her pillow as she lay wide awake on her couch. She had yet to hear from Booker and had no clue where he was. She heard movement on the stairs in the hallway but it was only Blaire going to see Finn. Fiona was happy for her brother, but then she thought about how Booker was with Blaire beforehand, but now he was nowhere to be found. She sent him a couple of text messages, but never heard anything.
 

She believed him when he said he wasn’t with Keara, the whore, but couldn’t help but wonder where he was. It wasn’t like he was hanging out with Murphy drinking a beer or with her brothers because Liam and Finn were occupied with their women and Bradon and Booker never really got along, so that wasn’t an option.
 

Then the thought of Booker getting in an accident on the icy Vermont roads started to cross her mind. The thought of losing Booker was almost paralyzing. She couldn’t lose him; he meant everything to her, absolutely everything.
 

Why did she pick such meaningless fights with him? She thought about the last couple of months and what an annoyingly whiny piece of crap she was. Women who held on to men like Booker James were strong, confident, and proud of themselves. She was none of those. Now the question was, would she be able to pull herself together and be the woman that Booker needed? Or should she just let him go, let him stop worrying about her and her wellbeing so he could properly live his life?

The front door opened and Booker walked through, snow falling off his shoulders and on to the ground of Fiona’s apartment. Relief washed through Fiona at the sight of him as she propelled herself into his arms.
 

Completely caught off-guard, they slammed into the closed door as Fiona wrapped her arms around Booker.
 

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Booker asked, as he tried to regain his balance.
 

“I’m sorry,” Fiona cried, as she buried her head into Booker’s neck. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to play games Booker.”

Booker unwrapped her arms from his neck and set her to the side as he took off his jacket. The loss of his warmth around her was disconcerting. He was stiffer than normal and he didn’t have the normal loving look he had in his eyes when he usually looked at her. Was he going to break up with her? A tear slipped down her cheek as she waited for Booker to turn back around and hold her, but he never did. Instead, he went to the chair in her living room and sat in it as he ran his hands over his face.
 

“Booker…”

“We need to talk, Fiona.”

There was an uncertain pressure that built up in Fiona’s chest as she sat down. Her throat was instantly clogged and she found it hard to breathe as she waited to hear what Booker had to say.
 

When he finally looked up at her, his eyes were rimmed with red and he looked tired. Did she do that to him? Of course she did. She was too selfish of a person to realize when she was driving someone to the end of their rope.
 

“I’ve done a lot of thinking and I don’t know if we’re making each other happy.”

“I’m sorry Booker…”

“Please Fiona, let me do the talking, okay?” Fiona could only nod as she sat back and waited to watch her future slip away from her. “Ever since you moved out to California, you haven’t been the same girl I fell in love with. I’ve tried everything I could possibly think of to make you happy while we were out there, but at the end of the day, you still weren’t happy. Then I thought, if we move to Warblers Point that will be better, that will make everything better, but it hasn’t. I know you still have feelings for Murphy.”

“I don’t!” Fiona practically shouted.
 

“Fiona, please…”

“No!” Fiona made herself comfortable on Booker’s lap, straddling him and making sure he had to look her in the eyes. “I am not just going to sit by quietly while you find a nice way to break up with me. I don’t love him, Booker. He is nothing to me and I’m sorry that I was an immature…”

“I touched her Fiona,” Booker cut in. “I didn’t intentionally touch her, but I did and I’m not going to lie. It felt good.”

Fiona sat back at Booker’s confession. She didn’t even know what to say or how to react to Booker’s confession. The pounding in her heart grew to an exponential rate as she tried to process what Booker was trying to tell her.
 

“So, you want to be with her?” Fiona held her breath.
 

“No. I don’t.”

“Then…then why would you say that to me? Are you just trying to be mean? You know how insecure I am.”

“I know, but you had to know. Can you tell me that Murphy kept his hands off of you while I was still out in California?”

Fiona cringed at the thought of her interactions with Murphy when she first returned to Warblers Point. She almost kissed him, almost had sex with him. What the hell was she thinking?
 

“That’s what I thought,” Booker said as he got up, pushing Fiona to the side. “We are two different people, Fiona, who tried, but can’t make it work. Our lives are too complicated to make a relationship work together.”

“I thought you loved me,” Fiona said, as she knelt on the floor from where Booker pushed her away. “I thought…I thought we were going to buy a house and spend the rest of our lives together.”