Beer in the Snooker Club (23 page)

‘Psssst … vous là-bas,’
a Frenchman shouted and pointed to the exit.

‘Allez vous faire foutre
,
’
Font said. We went to the bar and ordered a whisky.

‘No,’ said the barman. Suddenly about five Frenchmen popped up with sticks – they actually drove us out with sticks, big, fat, wooden sticks. But that was not all. While we were having a fight outside on the balcony, another group of Frenchmen bodily removed our small Fiat and threw it on the beach. When the police came, it was
us
they took away. I tell you, when that canal was nationalized, Font and I could have kissed the Colonel’s feet in admiration.

But back to the shop. Gaston led me to the lift and spared me climbing about eight steps. This shop. People go to it as a sort of
apéritif
; I mean they don’t go there to
buy
anything, or because they need something or other: no. They have a coffee with the director, and they talk about Paris and Rome and New York, and then they remember Budapest in the old days and wonder what happened to La Comtesse Ozbensky … what a delightful creature, that Nina! And Luigi, the director, tells them
‘c’était une reine …’
and they all shake their heads sadly: what
is
happening in the world, they ask. Finally they remember that even with them things are not quite the same. It’s increasingly difficult to travel, Luigi, and even then, with all the worry about making arrangements for adequate money to be waiting for them there … it’s not only Budapest and Prague,
mon cher
, and they all nod knowingly. Then Sousou tells them about Tata who is very
‘débrouillarde, ma chère’
, and officially sends seventy pounds a month to an imaginary student-son in Switzerland … with this she has enough money for a few weeks in Lausanne each year. Luigi laughs at this, then puts his finger in front of his
mouth and tells them to be careful … one never knows. Finally he suddenly remembers something. ‘Have I told you?’ he asks. ‘I have four new Diors I haven’t: yet opened.’ –
‘Pas possible!
Do show us, Luigi,
ne sois pas méchant.’
‘Yes, yes,’ he tells them; ‘but not today.’
‘Ouf, Luigi, ne sois pas antipathique
 … we’re only going to have a look at them.’ Then they fight over the dresses amongst themselves; and when Luigi shows them the new shoes he has received from Italy, they furnish their entire family with shoes from Italy to last them five years. An hour or so later, Luigi is giving orders to pack the three or four thousand pounds’ worth of stuff he has just sold. Then he rings up Madame Abdulla – better known as Fifi. ‘Have I told you,’ he says, ‘about the things I have just received from Vienna?’

I went out of the lift and stood with my hand in my pocket. I looked round and then saw my aunt. She was holding court.

I know this court business well. Now and then she has all the family to spend the day at her villa. All of us, rich, poor, and genuinely poor; priests, clerks, poor girls saving for their dowry, second and third cousins, great aunts and uncles.

‘Now, Samia,’ she will start, ‘I want you to get married to Fathy. Do you hear, Fathy?’

‘Yes, my aunt.’

‘Next month or so. I don’t want any more nonsense now. Age makes no difference. He has a good job and that’s all that matters.’ This Fathy would be about twenty-five years older than the miserable girl.

‘Yes, my aunt.’ Then she will give Samia a dozen of Mounir’s silk shirts and tell her to embroider Mounir’s
initials as recompense for having forced her to marry repulsive-looking Fathy.

‘Yes, my aunt … thank you my aunt, thank you.’

‘Aziz, you are to stick to that job you have. If I hear once more that you arrive late or smell of alcohol, you shall never enter this house again. Do you hear?’

‘Yes, my aunt.’

‘Now look here, Amin. The church is in a filthy state, you must increase the price of the Holy Bread; I am not a one-woman charitable organization to pay for everything. If you don’t increase the price of the bread, I shall talk to the Patriarch. That’s final. Another thing; place two or three ten-piastres notes in the offering-plate before passing it round.’

‘Yes, my aunt.’

Having settled the affairs of these, she will start moving up the scale until she reaches my mother and speaks in French.

‘You must sell your car, Vivi.’

‘I shall see,’ my mother will say.

Now she was filling a large sofa. My girl-cousin Mado was getting married and my aunt was there to see she bought the right things.

‘Nonsense,’ her squeaky voice jetted, ‘you’ll throw it away at the end of a week. Show me that
crêpe-de-Chine
again, Luigi.’ He hurried away. ‘No, no. I’ve said no, and Mado it
means
no.’ My cousin Mado is as rich as my aunt, but has no courage.

My aunt’s eyes are large, protruding globes, hanging, it seems, from underneath her eybrows. I saw them flash me a glance, sideways, a fraction of a second, then back again to the cloth Marie was holding in front of her.

I shook myself and sat about ten yards away from them. Luigi nodded to me and I nodded back. I heard him order a young man to bring me a coffee. Didi Nackla sat on a sofa opposite that of my aunt, with Mounir by her side. She glanced at me now and then. My coffee came, and was placed on an antique table by my side. I lit a cigarette. I was thinking about Edna’s husband and idly wondering what he looked like, when the people around my aunt dispersed a bit. She was getting up. First a hand on a servile shoulder, then up, and a little bend on one side, pulling that side of her corset down. Then another bend on the other side, pulling that side of her corset down; then a quick grimace, and she was ready to walk. She wobbled up to me, searched in her handbag for a handkerchief, blew her nose, and calmly sat next to me.

‘Give me one of your Egyptian cigarettes,’ she said, ‘Mounir’s Americans are too strong for me.’

I gave her a cigarette and lit it for her. She waved her hand in a ‘go away’ sign to some cousins and others who were edging towards us to hear the conversation.

‘What is this I hear about you and Didi Nackla?’

‘We are going to get married,’ I said.

‘So, so,’ she mused.

‘So, so,’ I repeated.

‘There is no point in being either rude or arrogant.’

‘I am sorry,’ I said, depressed and miserable.

‘And how are you going to support your wife?’

‘She is rich enough,’ I said.

‘Aha. It is the money that is attracting you?’

‘Money is attractive,’ I said.

‘Aha …’

I put my cigarette out and folded my arms.

‘And your mother?’

‘What about my mother?’

‘How is she going to live?’

‘What do you mean,’ I asked.

‘Your father lost all he had on the
bourse
and I am supporting your mother – not to mention you. There is no question of me giving her a penny if Didi does not marry Mounir.’

‘Didi has enough money.’

‘And did you tell Didi that?’

‘I shall,’ I sighed.

‘Aha.’ She took her handkerchief out once more and blew her nose.

‘How far did you get with your studies here and in England?’

‘Why do you ask?’

‘Just answer me.’

‘Oh, I can get a degree any time I want.’

‘So, so.’

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘It is your last chance, Ram. I shall never repeat this offer. You can go to Cook’s or some other travel agency and book a ticket on a plane or a ship to London, or anywhere else you want. I shall pay for yet another four years of studies. You will get an adequate monthly allowance; you can also buy a small car. So there. Don’t stretch my patience and generosity too far.’

‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘But I shall marry Didi Nackla all the same.’

‘So, so.’

‘So, so,’ I repeated.

She nodded to Mounir and he came towards us, his hand outstretched.

‘Sure needed some drying out, cousin,’ he said, shaking hands. ‘But I guess I got no hard feelings.’

‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘It was an accident.’

‘We sure did drink quite a bit, eh?’

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘Boy, it’s great having two beautiful women at home. I guess there is something doing there, buddy.’

‘Perhaps,’ I said.

‘C was asking about you. Sure made a hit, there.’

‘Who’s C,’ I asked.

‘Caroline.’

‘I see.’

‘Hey, Ram. How about you going to the States for a while, eh?’

‘No thanks, Mounir.’

‘You don’t wanna worry about anything. I’ve got it all here.’ He tapped his wallet-pocket.

‘Thanks.’

‘Look, I wanna talk to you, man to man, eh?’

‘All right,’ I said. We left his mother and went to another sofa.

‘I guess I’m pretty keen on Didi, and boy, it sure came as a surprise about you and her. Well, I said to myself; that guy Ram’s had a hard deal; his pop losing that cash on the
bourse
. Well, I said to myself, what would you have done in his place, Mounir? And d’you know, boy? I’d have done exactly like you.’ He tapped me on the shoulder. ‘You gotta have a standard of living, boy; a car, money, get
around. Didi’s Ai, eh? Boy, look at those curves.’ He winked. ‘Well, I gotta proposition right here …’

‘Mounir,’ I said. ‘Didi Nackla is sitting there. If she wants to marry you, she marries you; if she wants to marry me, she marries me. That’s all there is to it.’

‘I’ve sure been talking to her.’

‘What did she say?’

‘Well …’

‘Did you tell her I was marrying her for her money?’

‘I guess I did, cousin.’

‘And what did she say?’

‘I guess she gave no answer.’

‘Well,’ I said. ‘I shall go and talk to her myself.’

She was sitting alone in a corner.

‘Didi, I’m fed up with all this. You know they’re trying to bribe me. I’ve told you before I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if you were poor. I also forgot to tell you we’ll have to support my mother.’

‘I know, Ram. They told me.’

‘And?’

‘I don’t care.’

I sat beside her. It was sex, the poor girl. I had been her only man and her body yearned for mine. I knew it. I knew, too, she would probably despise me later on. I told her so.

‘No,’ she said. ‘I want to live with you. I have been bored all my life. I am just afraid of Edna and that other thing.’

‘Edna is already married,’ I told her.

‘Is she?’

‘Yes, Didi, she is.’

‘And the other thing?’

‘What other thing?’

‘This political business. It’s very dangerous, Ram. I am terribly worried about you.’

‘I’ll give it up,’ I said.

‘I am terribly in love with you,’ she said.

I stood and pulled her up. ‘If you love me, kiss me in front of them all.’ She closed her eyes and came into my arms. We kissed and then walked hand-in-hand towards the stairs.

‘Will you come home with me now?’

‘No, I can’t,’ I said. ‘I’ll … I have to go and tell this political organization I don’t belong to it any more. I shall come tomorrow and we shall spend the whole day together.’ I kissed her again and put her in her car. She waved and blew me a kiss before driving away.

I walked to the Mirandi bar once more and went into the telephone booth. I dialled a number and a husky voice answered. ‘Hullo, hullo?’

‘Assam, you dirty dog,’ I said. ‘I haven’t had a good game of poker for months. What? Yes, yes, I have plenty. Good; bring them and meet me at Groppi’s.’

And I went to Groppi’s.