bedeviled & beyond 05 - bedeviled & besmirched (22 page)

I shivered when I thought of the Shadows. I’d gone into them once, in search of Nille and Nerul, and I’d barely come out of them alive. The magic in the Shadows was powerful, disorienting, and converse to what they should be. Surviving there took more force of will than I currently possessed.

If the Pukas were there, I knew I wouldn’t be part of the group entering the Shadows to rescue them.

The doors opened and Gerch plodded into the room, his heavy boots forming a recognizable whomp, whomp, whomp against the carpeted floor. Since my body had been healed, I’d thrown temper tantrums whenever anyone else came near me in a babysitting capacity. I’d given up trying to get the ever-loyal Gerch expelled. Despite the fact that Dialle had finally surrendered in a fit of temper and ordered Gerch away from my bedside, Gerch had risked his king’s ire and continued to visit me.

Gerch seemed to have transferred some of the loyalty he felt for Dialle to me. I was touched by this newfound loyalty, despite my depression and extremely bad temper.

He stopped beside my bed and I could feel him staring down at me. “I know you’re not asleep.”

My traitorous eyelids quivered and I heard the clanking of his armor as he sat in his usual chair beside the bed. “Shall we start with the attempted assassinations this morning? Or would you like to hear of the search for the Pukas?”

I sighed, opening my eyes to focus them on the ceiling. “Tell me about the Council. Will they still hold it?”

“They will. Plans have turned to crowning King Dialle the Second. Unless the Puka King is found, King Dialle will be Sovereign.”

Amidst rumor and speculation, no doubt. I chewed my lip. In spite of myself, I’d begun to look forward to Gerch’s daily reports. I was starting to become curious about my surroundings again. I figured that was a positive development. “No sign of the Pukas yet?”

“Nay. The king readies a search party for the Shadows.”

My gaze slid to the massive, red guard. “Are you in that party?”

His black gaze held mine steadily. “I am.”

Tears stung my eyes. “Dialle?”

“Yes.” His gruff tone softened with pity when he saw my tears. It was the type of thing that would have pissed me off before I’d been destroyed. The fact that I couldn’t muster any anger made me hate myself even more. I sniffled, saying nothing.

“We will find the Pukas and return safely, my queen.”

It was a measure of my depression that I didn’t scold him for calling me his queen. I just stared at the ceiling and kept my silence. Fear ripped holes in my stomach as I imagined all the things that could go wrong in that search.

“In my absence I’ve arranged a special guard for you.”

I ignored him. I didn’t care who he’d picked to babysit me. Whoever it was, I’d run them off.

Finally he stood and, though he watched me for a long moment before turning to go, he didn’t voice the thoughts apparently churning through his mind. As he headed toward the door my gaze slid to him. Despite my determination not to succumb, my mouth opened and I said his name.

Gerch stopped abruptly and turned, his brow lifting where an eyebrow would have been, if he had them. “Yes, my queen?”

“Take care of him.”

Gerch inclined his head. “Of course.” He turned away.

“And...”

He turned back.

“Take care of yourself too.”

Gerch rarely smiled. But he smiled then, showing large, white teeth with slightly elongated canines. “Get well, my queen. We need you.”

Tears slipped down my cheeks as he closed the door. It was a nice sentiment. But he was wrong. The last thing Dialle’s court needed was me. Without my magic I was just an albatross around Dialle’s neck. Though he would deny it if I told him so.

I waited until I was certain Gerch wouldn’t be coming back, then I slipped the covers back and climbed out of bed. My legs wobbled slightly as I tried to stand, my muscles weakened from days of disuse. I looked down and realized I was wearing one of Dialle’s shirts. I bunched the soft fabric in my hand and pulled it to my nose, inhaling deeply to pull his scent into my lungs. Then, with tears stinging my eyes, I headed toward the pile of my clothes and belongings someone had placed carefully on a chair across the room.

I stopped beside the chair and looked down. The clothes were clean again, despite the fact that they’d been covered in blood and gore when they’d last covered my body. Lying across the top of the pile were my platinum knives. I stared at them for a long moment, afraid to reach out and grasp them.

I hadn’t even had a chance to use them when Crisanne had attacked me. They’d been useless. Like me.

I reached for the longest knife, my fingers wrapping around its ebony hilt, and closed my eyes at its cool weight in my hand. It was fitting that I’d use the tools of my old life to put an end to the travesty that was my new one.

I lifted the knife and rested the razor-sharp blade against my throat, taking a deep, bracing breath, and then tightened my fingers against the hilt, murmuring, “To Hades with you fool, for God hath tired of you.” I pressed the blade into my throat, gasping at the bright, sharp pain of it slicing into my flesh, and started to drag it across my skin.

The air behind me pulsed and a large, golden hand wrapped around my wrist, stopping me. A muscular arm dragged me up hard against a broad chest, and a strange scent enfolded me. The heat of healing power flowed over and through me, taking away the sting at my throat.

I sobbed at the frustration of being denied my heroic end and turned. My sobs quickly dying as I looked into a beautiful, square-jawed face with blue eyes, kiss-me lips, and a halo of thick, straight white-blond hair. “Who are you!”

His smile brought the first wave of warmth to my belly since Crisanne had pulled away my magic. “Hello, Astra. My name’s Aubrey.”

“He’s your new guardian.”

I jerked around at the sound of my Aunt Myra’s voice and had a déjà vu moment. She and Darma were standing a few feet away, glaring at me. Just like in my dream.

“I don’t need a new guardian.”

There was general hilarity over this ridiculous statement and then I clarified. “I mean...I’m human now. Nobody’s gonna even look at me twice. I’m safe.”

Aubrey frowned down at me. I noticed he hadn’t removed his large, very warm hands from my person yet so I stepped away, doing it for him. “Astra, until we know exactly what’s going on, I’m going to stay very close in case you need me.”

“Aubrey’s one of our finest guardians. He has five stars and he’s won the Guardian games six years in a row.” Myra’s pretty blue eyes had a few stars of their own when she looked at him.

And you want to make him your bitch.
I added silently.

Guardians were ranked according to their strength and power. Myra, my first guardian, was a five, Flick had been a three, because at that point I think the Big Him had given up trying to actually protect me and had given me Flick as kind of a weak deflection device. Unfortunately, Flick inexplicably discovered he was male after five hundred years of existing in kind of a gender non-specific fog, leaving me once again guardian-less.

I’d been okay with that. Mostly my guardians had just created obligation and clutter in my life. But I realized I could have avoided my current predicament if I’d had one.

“You’re not safe, Astra!” Darma added in her usual loving, screechified tones. “Don’t be so stupid.” Her glare deepened and she strode toward me, looking as if she would strike.

Aubrey stepped between us and I peered around his broad shoulder to see Darma’s reaction.

She stopped, her blue eyes lifting to my new guardian’s, and her mouth came open. “What are you doing?”

“My job.”

“But she’s my sister.”

“And you are not allowed to strike her. She is in a weakened state.”

Okay, now that just pissed me off. I stepped around Aubrey. “Look. All of you. I’m fine...”

“Yeah,” Auntie agreed, nodding. “You looked just fine with that knife at your throat.”

She had me there. “Okay, you’re right. I had a moment of stupidity...”

Darma snorted. “A moment? That’s rich. Try twenty-five years.”

Glaring at my older sister, I said to Aubrey. “Here’s the deal. I’ll concede that I should have been better about not ditching my guardians...”

Myra lifted a finely sculpted, golden eyebrow. I figure she’d have killed to have me admit that a couple of years earlier, when she’d been my guardian.

“But I’ve learned my lesson. Albeit too late.” I sighed. “You can protect me until we know for sure that my powers are gone.”

“I will protect you until I am told otherwise.”

I glared up at him and he stared down at me, impassive, immovable, like a really good-looking rock wall. In that moment I realized he would be harder to manage than Flick. He might even be harder to manage than Myra.

“You’re wasting your time. I can feel that my magic is gone.”

Aubrey’s face softened and he reached a finger to touch my jawline. “Do you actually believe that your only worth is in your magic, Astra?”

The question was spoken so softly, with such feeling behind it, that it brought tears to my eyes. I blinked them away and sniffed. As of that moment I was done with sniffling. I was going to save Dialle from Crisanne. After that...I didn’t know.

But I knew I was done sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself.

I looked at Darma. “Get Slayer, and anybody else you can round up. Meet me at my office.”

Her blue eyes widened in surprise, but she smiled. “Why?”

“We’re going after that black-haired bitch. If Dialle can’t have me at his side, we’ll find him somebody suitable. But I’m not letting him get saddled with that evil troll.”

Darma nodded and disappeared with a pop. I blinked in surprise. Apparently my previously magic-phobic sister was getting better with her magics.

“I’m coming with you.” Myra took a step closer, frowning as if she thought I’d refuse her.

She had no reason to be concerned. For once I was happy to have her along. “Thanks, Auntie.” I lifted an arm and looked at Aubrey. “Shift us to my office, please. I need to recruit a couple of werewolves to help us.”

Aubrey nodded. “Yes. But first, you have someone you need to see. I’ll be back later.” He glanced toward the door and he and Myra popped away.

The wide, double doors of Dialle’s quarters opened and Dialle stepped through. The look on his face made me gasp. He looked tired, with dark circles under his beautiful eyes, and he walked with a weary step. But when he saw me standing in the middle of the room, still holding my knife, his eyes widened.

The air before me shimmered and he was suddenly there, a mere breath away. “Astra!” His lips feathered across my forehead, my cheeks, along my jawline, and then finally landed on my parted lips.

As soon as we kissed, warmth slid through my body and sexual need coiled in my belly, tightening my thighs. The need I felt at his touch was nothing like my Settling, which had been overwhelming, a force to be reckoned with, but somehow outside of us...not part of the magic that was Dialle and me.

What I felt in that moment was a tender fire burning low in my belly. The flames of which grew with each passing second as his heated touch skimmed across my back and over the round contours of my buttocks. My fingers opened and the knife hit the floor with a muffled thump. My hands lifted to tangle in the heavy, black silk of his hair.

Dialle groaned against my lips. “I’ve missed you, my love. I’ve been so worried.”

I shook my head as tears flowed down my cheeks. Pulling his head toward me, I deepened the kiss, unwilling to let him get away for at least a few more precious moments. My hand slid beneath the thick sweater he’d donned for his visit to the Shadows, and skimmed upward, savoring the smooth heat of his long back.

Dialle’s fingers delved between my butt cheeks, skimming downward toward the place I pulsed for him.

As his hot touch slid inside my dripping channel, I cried out and widened my stance so he could penetrate me with his long, elegant fingers.

But Dialle had other ideas. He scooped me up and carried me to the bed, laying me down gently. With a single thought, Dialle removed our clothing and my hungry gaze slipped over him, consuming the hard lines of his smooth, broad chest, the narrowing at his waistline and the place where his hips melded into long, leanly muscular legs.

My visual journey stopped on the thick, hard length of shaft bobbing hungrily before me and I sat up, reaching for him. I enfolded the rigid shaft in my hand.

He sighed, and his head fell back as I caressed him. I lowered my mouth over the thick head, savoring the sweet, salty taste on my tongue. I sucked him deep, licking and nipping and worshiping the beautiful column.

His hands found my face, caressing, and he moaned as my fingers enfolded the taut sac beneath his shaft.

My skin burned, my sex cried for more. The walls of my channel throbbed and pulsed hopefully. It felt as if we hadn’t made love in months and I was suddenly impatient for the feel of him deep inside my body.

Dialle reached down with a growl and pulled my hands away, pushing me back and dropping to his knees between my legs. He grabbed my hips and pulled me closer, covering my throbbing clit with wet heat.

At the first tug of his lips on my hungry sex I screamed out, pleasure plowing relentlessly through me. My toes curled, my hands fisted in his hair and my legs widened, urging him on.

Dialle sucked on the slick folds of my channel until I screamed into orgasm four more times and then slipped his tongue along the wet crevice and nibbled gently on my clit. I rolled over into release again, screaming his name into the room.

He stood and climbed my body, kissing his way along my belly, my heaving ribs, and bathing each nipple in moist ecstasy.

I wrapped my calves around his thighs, arching toward him in mindless need, and he finally complied by driving his hot, hard length deep inside me.

My channel convulsed around him, welcoming him and begging him for more. Dialle happily complied, settling into an eager rhythm that pounded me hard and fast into the soft mattress, our bodies moving across the bed with every thrust.