Because This Is Forever (9 page)

They had
spent the days enjoying the quiet, country scenery and the nights…the nights
had been unforgettable. They couldn’t get enough of each other. She had been as
wild as he, clawing at his back, rising up to meet his heavy thrust. They had
sweated and panted and had gotten as close as two bodies could possibly get.

Nate shifted
to hide his body’s reaction at the still vivid memory. Sometime during that
week, they had made Mikey. Though he still struggled between his anger and his unwavering
lust for her, he had no regrets. Together they had created another life. Though
he couldn’t accept or excuse her decision to keep Mikey from him, he couldn’t
ignore his role in making her feel as if she had to.

“Daddy?”

Nate instinctively
jerked at the name. Though it wasn’t an unpleasant sound, it was something that
would take some getting used to.

“Yeah,
buddy?” he asked gently.

“Can
I have some juice?”

He
looked helplessly at Mia. He didn’t think he had any. He didn’t entertain much in
his apartment and was certainly not equipped to entertain kids as young as
Mikey, or guests of any age for that matter. He didn’t even keep liquor in his
apartment anymore. Not that he didn’t enjoy a drink on occasion, but after
their breakup, he had found himself indulging in the mind numbing liquid too
frequently. Fortunately, he had ended the bad habit before it had gotten a
chance to permanently root itself in his life. He now had a personal rule to
only drink socially. Never alone and never at home.

“I
don’t think I have any.” Nate checked his watch. If he left now, he could
probably pick some up.

“It’s
all right,” Mia said with a soft smile of understanding. “I think I have a
juice box in one of my tote bags.” She got up and fished through a large,
yellow and brown bag that had been left in the foyer. She still wore the light
sweater she’d put over her white cami, yet it did little to conceal her lush curves
hidden underneath. She walked back to where they sat and handed Mikey a green and
red juice carton.

“Tomorrow
we can go shopping for groceries,” Nate said, watching Mikey suck up the red
liquid from the straw. Nate couldn’t stop looking at him. It felt too surreal,
looking at this little person who was a part of him.

“Thanks,
but that’s not necessary,” she whispered. “We’re not staying long.”

Irritation
at her dismissive words rose in him but he shoved it away. He didn’t want to
start another argument tonight, especially not in front of Mikey. There would
be time tomorrow to hash this all out.

“We’ll
figure that out later,” he replied.

Her
attention was momentarily stolen away when Mikey handed her the juice carton so
she didn’t argue.

“Finished?”
she asked, grabbing the carton. At his vigorous nod, she placed it on the
center table and stood up. “Okay then,” she said, holding out her hand. “Time
for bed.”

“But
Mommy, I’m not tired.” Mikey continued to whine, pout, and protest as Mia
ushered him back to the guest room. Nate watched the whole scene with
fascination and mild amusement. He knew a handful of people with children and
didn’t spend a whole lot of time with them, so he could only imagine the patience
needed to deal with that kind of energy. The way Mia was handling their son
seemed to come naturally. She was gentle yet stern, loving but still firm.

Something
in him warmed at the sight. He had never experienced that with his own
parents—certainly never his mother. Was it something that came naturally to Mia
as a mother? Could he be that kind of father to Mikey?

The
thought jarred him. He didn’t know where or why it had surfaced, but he realized
he wanted to be the kind of father to Mikey his father had never been to him. He
wanted to be a good father to the little boy whose young features closely
resembled his. Nate wanted Mikey in his life.

Mia
came back to where he sat, drawing his attention away from his new yet exhilarating
thoughts. She leaned down to grab the empty juice carton and glanced over at
him.

“Where
can I toss this?”

Nate
stood. “I’ll throw it out.” He reached for the carton then jerked back. “
Shit
.” A stream of red liquid squirted
from the thin straw and landed on the front of his shirt.

Mia’s
eyes were wide with horror. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry!”

“Its
fine,” Nate assured her. “Here let me take that so it doesn’t drip everywhere.”

Nate
went to the kitchen and dumped the remaining juice in the sink. Mia was close
behind him and before he realized what she was doing, she wet a kitchen towel and
began dabbing at the red stains on his shirt. He wouldn’t have minded her touch
if it had been focused on
him
and not
the damn shirt.

“I’m so
sorry,” she said again, her slender face filled with mortification.

“Mia, its fine.
It was an accident.” One he had actually caused. He hadn’t
realized until it was too late that there was still juice left inside the small
carton when he’d grabbed for it.

She
continued blotting at the stains until water soaked through and the stains were
now a faint pink. He grabbed her hand to stop her frantic dabbing. “It’s just a
shirt,” he whispered.

She
stilled and glanced up at him. “I know. It’s just…it looks expensive.”

“It’s
not,” he lied, wanting to erase the agitation from her eyes. “Besides,” he
continued with a small grin, “it’ll wash. If not, I’ll just buy a new one.”

She visibly
relaxed, then glanced away, nodding. Her nearness started to wreak havoc on his
senses. Her fresh, sweet scent was an erotic tease. He unconsciously tightened
his hand over hers. At the small action, her eyes widened then flew up to his.
He ignored the surprised confusion on her face. Instead he focused on her wide,
full lips. He remembered their soft sweetness and wanted to taste them again. Driven
by a force stronger than his own will power, Nate leaned down…

She
jerked away from him then took a step back, effectively bringing him back to
reality. He cursed himself silently as his regret and frustration strained
against his slacks. The last thing he needed to do was complicate their
situation with his lust.

“Sorry,”
he murmured roughly.

With
her back now turned to him, she nodded, saying nothing.

“You
must be tired,” he said quietly. “Why don’t you take the back bedroom at the
end of the hall?”

She
fidgeted with the towel in her hand then placed it on the counter, still not
looking at him. “That’s okay. I’ll sleep with Mikey.”

“The
bed in the other room is bigger and you’ll be more comfortable.” Nate purposely
didn’t mention it was actually his bedroom, as it would have only increased her
obvious discomfort. “Besides, why disturb him when there’s plenty of space for
us to spread out.”

She
didn’t argue with him and he suspected fatigue and weariness must be weighing
on her.

As
Nate lay awake on the sofa, his thoughts were filled with the woman sleeping in
his bed, the woman who had borne him a son. It occurred to him that it was already
too late. Things between them had gone beyond complicated.

Chapter Eight

Nate
woke up to a light tugging on his arm. Through the large windows, early morning
light streamed into the living room and onto the sofa where he slept. Beside
him, a bed-rumpled Mikey stood pushing at his arm.

Mikey.

Memory
of the night before pierced through his sleep-fogged mind. For a moment, he’d
forgotten. He was a father now.

“Daddy?”
the small voice came. “I forgot where the toilet is and I have to potty.”

Nate
sat up, now alert. As he led Mikey into the bathroom, he recalled the moment
last night when he’d told Mikey who he was. Their son’s oblivion of who he was and
their relationship to each other had bothered Nate. A lot.

“Mikey,
do you know who I am?” Nate had asked when they had been alone in the brightly
lit bathroom.

Mikey
had nodded. “You’re the man from the hotel room.”

Nate
smiled softly. “Yeah,” he’d said gently. “I’m also your dad.”

Mikey
stared at him curiously. “I never had a daddy before. Mommy said not everybody
has one.”

That admission
had irritated Nate but he didn’t let Mikey see it. “Your mom was just waiting
for the right time to bring you to me,” Nate explained.

“Are
we coming to live with you now?”

Nate
regarded him closely. “Do you want to?”

Mikey
nodded his head eagerly. “I like it here better than the other place.”

Nate
had smiled at that and his son had proceeded to tell him about their long drive
to Chicago and the things he’d seen along the way.

His
son’s excited chatter from last night now spilled into this morning. Nate
didn’t mind. He smiled and nodded, asking questions when necessary. He answered
a few peculiar ones of his own too, like how the water in the sink got so cold
when it wasn’t in the fridge. His answer had been embellished, but Mikey didn’t
seem to notice.

Once
they were done in the bathroom, Nate went to check in on Mia. The door to his
bedroom was left partly open and Nate peered in. He immediately found her
sleeping form in the middle of the wide bed. She looked soft and inviting. He would
have given anything to be lying next to her.

That was
wishful thinking, however, remembering the way she pulled away from him. Nate
turned to leave but before he could react, Mikey pushed past him, running full
speed toward the bed. He grabbed his son just before he reached the bed and
carried him out of the bedroom.

“Shh,”
Nate said once they were out of the room. “Mommy’s sleeping.”

He brought
Mikey to the kitchen but realized he didn’t have anything suitable to feed a
four-year-old for breakfast. He found some orange juice but didn’t have a cup
small enough for his small hands. The tote bag Mia had rummaged through last
night had seemed well supplied so he grabbed it. Inside, he found a small green
plastic cup with a matching lid and straw, as well as another juice carton, a
few snacks, some toys, books, wet wipes, napkins, and a travel size first aid
kit. Nates’ lips quirked up. She had come prepared for anything.

“Looks
like we’re gonna have to go out for breakfast,” Nate said to Mikey, pouring
orange juice into the small green cup. “What do you want to eat?”

“Cheetos!”
Mikey exclaimed, grabbing the snack Nate had lain on the counter.

While
Mikey munched on the cheesy puff chips, Nate surveyed his kitchen to see what
supplies he’d need. He figured between him and Mikey, they could do the grocery
shopping while Mia slept.

Nate
left a quick note for her, got himself and his son dressed, and within minutes
they were out the door.

* * * *

 
The cool, smooth sheets brought Mia softly
awake. She caught the warm, spicy scent on the pillow and sprang up,
disoriented.

She was
in Nate’s bed, in his room. She looked around as memories of last night came
rushing back to her. Mia fell back against the pillows with a heavy sigh.

Last
night she had recognized his scent the moment she had crawled into bed. It had
been so inviting, so comforting, she had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit
the pillow.

However,
she couldn’t stay in bed forever. She would have to get up and face him again.
She groaned at the thought.

The
awkward moment in the kitchen last night played back in her head. She was too
in-tuned with him not to recognize the sharp desire that had radiated from
him—or the frustration that had flared when she’d pulled away.

Deep
in her core, she had wanted his kiss, his touch. Badly. But her supercharged
senses wouldn’t have been able to stand it if he had.

Mia
groaned again then rolled out of the large bed. The apartment was strangely
quiet and she immediately went to the guest bedroom. Empty.

She suppressed
the panic threatening to rise and walked through the apartment, calling out for
Mikey.

When
she got to the kitchen, she found the note next to the half-eaten bag of Cheetos.

Mikey and I went out to buy food.

We’ll be back soon. —N

Mia
had told him they wouldn’t be staying long, but if he insisted on ignoring her,
she wouldn’t make a fuss. Let him do what he wanted. She just needed to know if
he intended to help them or not so they could be on their way.

It
wasn’t lost on her that he hadn’t given her an answer last night. Then again,
she had dropped a few bombshells on his lap, the main one being Mikey, so she
could understand if he needed some time to let it all sink in.

Right
now, she would just have to wait for them to get back.

She cleaned
up the mess they’d left in the kitchen, making a mental note to tell Nate, and
remind her son, that Cheetos weren’t an appropriate breakfast food.

Eventually,
she moved the rest of their bags into the guest bedroom but because she didn’t
know how long they were staying, she didn’t unpack. The last thing she wanted was
to scare Nate into thinking they were moving in, she thought wryly.

Curiosity,
however, got the better of her and she began to explore his neatly kept and
expensively furnished apartment. The condo had three bedrooms, though one of them
had been converted into an office.

Though
it was elegant and chic, there was no real warmth in his apartment that came
from the little things like pictures or plants or just simply…color. The decor was
mainly whites, blacks, and grays with superficial artwork on the walls instead
of family photos. There had been a greeting card with a picture of an older
couple on it in his office that read,
Happy
Holidays from the Carlson’s.

Besides
that small memento, nothing else.

His
bedroom had a walk-in closet being shamefully underused yet was filled with his
scent. She ran her fingers along some of his hanging shirts, enjoying the feel
of the soft material, visualizing them adorning his hard frame.

She
eventually left the closet and entered the connecting bathroom. This bathroom
was bigger than the one out in the hall with a standing shower encased by tall,
frosted glass. It practically begged her to take a long, hot shower and she
exhaled with deep pleasure. This made up for her brief stay at the grimy motel
last night.

Twenty
minutes later, dressed in a light coral summer dress, Mia sat in the living
room hoping her son wasn’t driving Nate crazy. Shopping with Mikey could easily
become an expedition if he wasn’t properly maintained.

The
silence in the large apartment began to bother her. She turned on the
television to fill the quiet. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been
without her son and his early morning chatter. Back home, there was always
noise, whether it was from her son’s constant chatter, or Leah’s coming and
goings, or from the television, there was always activity at their house. A few
times, she had wished for some peace and quiet. Now that she had it, she found it
unnerving…and lonely.

Thinking
of her sister, Mia realized she’d forgotten to call her. When her call went
unanswered, Mia left a voice message letting her sister know they had made it
but were now staying with Nate.

When she
hung up, keys jangled and slid into the door. She got up just as Mikey came
running into the apartment. Nate followed, his hands crowded with grocery bags.

“Mommy,
look at my new toy!”

Mia
looked down at the strange looking action figure, smiling at her son’s
excitement.
 
“It’s nice,” she said
pulling him close to her. “Did you thank your dad?”

He
nodded vehemently then ran off to continue his pretend flying and fighting.

Mia
followed Nate into the kitchen. “Did you buy out the entire grocery store?” she
teased.

Nate’s
lips quirked up. “Too much?”

She
cocked her head to the side. “I think you have enough to feed half the Duggar
family.”

“Who?”

Mia chuckled.
“Never mind.”

“I
wasn’t sure what to get so I figured I’d cover all the bases.” He stared at her
for a long moment and she began to grow self-conscious.

“You
look very pretty,” he said quietly.

Mia
couldn’t help the blush warming her face or the small smile tugging her lips from
the simple compliment. “Thanks,” she murmured, shifting nervously and brushing
her hair behind her ear. She had let the thick, wavy strands hang down her
shoulders, instead of in its usual ponytail. She doubted it was her hair that
had caught his attention. It was her thin-strapped, high-waist summer dress. The
simple dress was so long, it reached her ankles but the half-pink, half-peach
color complimented her skin tone so well she was starting to think maybe she
had chosen to wear it in hopes he would notice. The way he eyed her, he
certainly had.

Wanting
to break his direct attention from her, Mia moved to unload the shopping bags.
She smiled when she saw the many boxes of macaroni and cheese.

“I
see Mikey helped big with the shopping.”

Nate laughed,
grabbing a few bags to unpack. “I didn’t realize there were so many until we got
to check out.”

There
was also a good supply of cheese crackers, string cheese, cheese dip, and of
course Cheetos. The amount of food was enough to feed a large family. He must
have spent hundreds of dollars here.

“I
really appreciate you trying to make things comfortable for us,” Mia began, “but
really this wasn’t necessary.” Tension invaded his tall frame but she continued
on. “As soon as you give me an answer, we’ll be out of your way.”

Nate
turned to her, his jaw set. “I want him to stay with me.”

Mia
frowned, not sure she’d heard him correctly. “What?”

“I
want Mikey to stay here,” he repeated forcefully. “I’ve already missed out on
so much and I want to get to know him. And I want him to know
me
.”

Mia
looked up at him, shocked. Of all the things he could have told her, she hadn’t
expected this. Though she would love for her son to know his father, she wasn’t
prepared to be without him, and Nate hadn’t said anything about
her
staying.

“I-I
don’t think that’s possible right now. Or a good idea,” she added. “There’s
been so much change in his life already. This would just…complicate things for
him.”

Nate’s
eyes burned into hers. “You complicated this the moment you decided to keep him
from me,” he barked. “I don’t want to fight you on this but I will if I have
to.”

His unspoken
threat was loud and clear. Anger and a fierce protectiveness suddenly filled
her. “How dare you,” she snapped with barely suppressed rage. “You will
not
take him from me, you hear me.
You will not!
”

Nate
looked down at her with his own emerging anger and determination. “Don’t test
me, Mia. He’s my son too.”

“No,
he’s
mine
,” she said fiercely. “
I
carried him.
I
raised him.
I
wanted
him. So don’t you dare stand there and pretend that you want him!”

He
looked as if he wanted to strangle her but she was too upset to back down. “You
never even gave me a chance,” he said harshly. “You took that choice away from
me so it’s your fault I’m even in this position.”

Pain and
guilt sliced through her as his words dug deep. Some of the anger burst out of
her. He was right. It was her fault—she had already acknowledged that—but she
wasn’t going to let him take Mikey from her. She wasn’t.

“I just
want to be in his life,” he continued. “And I will be, whether you like it or
not.”

“Nate,
I won’t stop you from seeing him but he’s not staying—”

“He’s
staying right here,” Nate bit out harshly. “With or without you.”