Because of You (24 page)

Maddie

o Collin? How’d you guys meet?”

I haven’t told Gina about what happened in the piano room yesterday. The experience is too private, too sacred. Kyle and I practiced our duet and he invited me over for dinner. That’s all I said. She seems to think tonight is
the night
. I’m not sure, but my body wants tonight to be the night. It ignites with hunger every time I think of Kyle kissing me.

I pull on my slightly baggy jeans and a white shirt and fluff my hair. I’m wearing it down and wavy. Lip gloss on my lips. Ballet flats on my feet.

Gina hands me her heart necklace, the one she let me wear the other night. “Keep it. It looks better on you.”

“Really? Thanks, Gina.”

“No biggie.” She plops on her bed and flips open her Psych book.

“Collin?” I remind her, rubbing on some deodorant.

“Uh, fine.” She picks up her yellow highlighter and marks a line on the page. “He’s in my Biology class. He’s my lab partner. We talk. He seems to like that I’m crazy. And I like his pretty hair.” Gina slams her book shut and sits. “End of story.”

I’m about to tell her she’s lying when there’s a knock on the door.

It’s Kyle. The boy I’ve loved since I was nine. The man whose very presence makes my heart pound in a beautiful melody. My veins sing in harmony. And what he did to me with his thumb—my body trembles at the memory. The butterflies in my belly are back and pirouetting eagerly.

Gina opens the door. “Hey.”

“Hello.” He waves at her.

I walk toward him like he’s gravity and I’m the moon. I’m can’t resist his pull. I don’t want to. I move into his atmosphere and bask in his radiance. He smiles at me. And I’m whole. The feeling shocks me.

When I’m close, he reaches out his hand and I take it. My hand in his. Our hands together. It’s right. I know it. I know my parents somehow know it too. And they would approve. What Kyle’s father did has nothing to do with him. He is his own person, his own man. Kyle is kind, generous, giving. I can’t blame him for my parents’ deaths anymore than I can forgive his father. Life is what it is. I am who I am. Kyle is who he is.

It’s time for me to move on.

“What are you making her for dinner?” Gina asks, her hands clasped behind her back.

He looks at her, and then at me. “I was thinking peanut butter and jelly?” He raises his eyebrows in question.

Gina bursts into laughter. “Sounds about right.”

I don’t comment, just smile and enjoy the easy tension between Gina and Kyle. I like that they get along.

“Actually, I’ve got Chicken Cordon Bleu in the oven, a green salad in the refrigerator, some French bread, and chocolate soufflé for dessert.” Kyle looks at me when he says the word dessert, and my inner thighs quiver.

“Who made it, your mommy?” Gina is teasing him, and under any other circumstance, it would be funny. But not with Kyle.

I inhale. Glance at him carefully. His mother died when he was a baby. He doesn’t remember her, and he’s always been touchy about it. A few times, when I was over at Kyle’s house, his dad would fling around words about his mother, words like: whore, slut, and trash. I think his dad did it to make Kyle angry. It worked.

And the way Kyle tenses, I know he’s thinking about everything I am, and more.

Gina and her big mouth!

I squeeze his hand. “Sounds fantastic,” I say, moving closer.

He walks me to the door.

“You two have fun.” Gina waves. She’s none the wiser about the pain she’s inflicted.

I wave. “See ya, Roomie.” The smile on her face is tinted with sadness.

I want to make her feel better, do something to ease her pain. But I’m not sure what that something is. At least there’s a beginning happening between her and Collin.

I had a momentary worry when she kissed me the other night, but now I know it wasn’t about me personally. I owned a set of lips and she wanted a sober kiss. For some silly reason, I’m glad to have been a part of that. And hopefully with Collin she can have many firsts. A relationship. Maybe even love—if Collin deserves it.

I glance at Kyle as we ride down the elevator. He’s watching me. Amused by something. His tension gone.

“What?” I ask, leaning against him.

“I love watching you think. Every emotion flashes across your face. You’re so open, so good. Are you sure you want to get involved with a guy like me?”

I kiss him gently on the mouth. Suckle his bottom lip. “You’re the only guy I ever wanted to get involved with, Kyle Hadley.”

Maddie

help Kyle clean up after dinner. “You’ve got serious skills,” I say, placing the remainder of the salad in the fridge.

“Thanks. I’ve been cooking for myself a long time. A guy can only eat so many PB&Js before he has to take matters into his own hands.”

I force a laugh. We are suddenly moving toward territory I want to avoid. Talk about his home life, his dad. I know he can’t help what happened. I know it isn’t his fault, but I can’t talk about his dad like he’s some normal guy. He isn’t. He’s a murderer.

Kyle closes the fridge and grabs my hands. “What are you thinking?” He brushes some hair off my face, stroking my cheek with his thumbs.

“My aunt likes to cook strange meals.”

He smiles, a little sad. “Like what?”

I think a second. “Marinated meatballs in crisp taco shells was a weird one. Sushi with spaghetti, lima beans, and tofu.”

Kyle makes a sickened face.

“You want me to go on?”

He chuckles. “Nah, I get it.” He takes both of my hands in his and pulls me into the living room. “Want to watch some TV?”

“Sure.” We sit on his couch.

He locates the TV remote and turns it on. Football highlights fill the screen.

“Football?”

“If you want.” I sit back against the cushions.

He turns so he’s facing me, touches my lips with his forefinger. “What do you like to watch?”

I’m momentarily distracted by the way my body is suddenly humming at his nearness. He touches me and I’m like a light, on and ready to shine. My eyes focus on his lips. I want to kiss him, touch him. So many ideas fill my head.

He bats at my nose playfully. “Earth to Maddie. Come in, Maddie.”

“Oh.” I blush. “I mostly watch what my aunt and uncle watch.
The Brady Bunch, I Dream of Genie
.” I tuck my hands in my lap. “I prefer to read.”

He scoots closer. “What do you read?”

His nearness is making me nervous. “
The Great Gatsby. Anne of Green Gables. Lord of the Flies. The Count of Monte Cristo.
”

Kyle trails his finger along my eyebrows. Under my eyes. Along my nose. Across my lips. My jaw. “What about movies?”

“I watch
The Ten Commandments
every year. My aunt and uncle love that one. I think it’s kind of dull.”

He sits up like I’ve smacked him.

My mind has travelled back further to when my parents were alive, when life was good, easy. My mom and I watched
Pride and Prejudice
together. She called it a mother-daughter date. We went to the movie and had ice cream after—pralines and cream. That night is one of my favorite memories with my mother.

He cups my face in his hands. “You have a lot of catching up to do.” He’s more than eager to be the one to help, and I’m thrilled. “Want to watch one?”