Because It Is My Blood (16 page)

“Yuji, I-I-I-I,” I sputtered. “I can’t marry you. I’m seventeen. I can’t marry anyone!” As I shuffled to my feet, I dropped my machete. Yuji bent down to pick it up.

“No,” I said. “I’ll get it myself.”

“I know you are only seventeen. That is why we don’t have to marry yet. You only have to become engaged to me.”

“Yuji, but I don’t love you.”

“I don’t love you either. But we must be married. Don’t you see? It is the only way to secure Balanchine Chocolate. If I am to be your husband, I can help you organize the business and protect both our interests.

“I have put a great deal of thought into this matter. Originally, I hadn’t known what I would do after the Balanchine poisoning incident. Should I eliminate Balanchine Chocolate entirely? Should I watch and wait for it to destroy itself? Or should I intervene? I believe I told you as much.”

He hadn’t said it quite so bluntly at the time.

“But then once I met you at the wedding, I thought, ‘There is another way. This girl is formidable. She might have the makings of a good leader. How much better would it be for me to join interests with this person and have the potential to make both our companies bigger and better?’ I began to formulate a plan.”

“A plan to marry me?”

“No. At first, I thought I could just partner you with Mickey, that the two of you together might be enough to stabilize Balanchine Chocolate once his father died. But for many reasons, this plan was a failure. I am not blaming you, Anya. You were occupied with your boyfriend and your schooling and your legal troubles. Your obligations, I suppose. You are very young. And Mickey is older, but he is too much in his father’s pocket. It was too much to ask of you.” He paused. “Since you’ve been gone, you should know that the infighting among the Balanchines has only escalated.”

“Why?”

“Who can say? The election of the new district attorney? The wails of the legalize-cacao people? Whatever the reason, the rank and file at Balanchine Chocolate are angry. My point is, Anya, the only way I can intervene is if I have the authority to do so. If I am to be the husband of Anya Balanchine, I will have that authority.”

“What difference do I make, Yuji?” I asked. “I’m an outsider and now a fugitive. No one cares about me.”

“That isn’t true. You know very well that that isn’t true. You are still the heir to Balanchine Chocolate. And, because of your notoriety, yours is the face people see when they think of Balanchine Chocolate.” He took my hand, but I pulled it back.

Every kind word he’d ever said to me and every good deed he’d ever done for me, I questioned. I wondered whether I’d just been groomed, whether his plan had been to use me to gain control of Balanchine Chocolate.

And yet …

It could not be denied that I was in debt to him. He had helped my brother when I needed to get him out of the country and Yuji had, in part, done the same for me. How much was this worth? Or rather, how much did I owe?

“Yuji,” I asked, “what happens if I refuse you?”

Yuji cupped his hand over his chin. “I would rather you did not.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No, Anya. I … Perhaps I have gone about this the wrong way. I should have started by saying how much I admire you and how much I see in you that I think is worthy of respect. If I don’t say ‘love,’ perhaps this is because I don’t think love is all that important.”

“What is important?”

“In a marriage, shared sensibility, mutual interests, and a common goal.”

“That isn’t very romantic,” I said.

“Do you want me to pantomime a schoolgirl’s fantasy of romantic love? Should I get down on one knee? Should I tell you that I think you are beautiful? I should think you were past the need for such meaningless gestures.”

The truth was, I think I would have preferred the show, but it was too late for that. I decided to repeat my question. “What happens if I refuse you?”

Yuji nodded. “Well, we would go our separate ways. I would not be your explicit enemy though I certainly could not forget that you would not grant me the favor you owed.”

“Yuji, ask me for anything else!”

“There is nothing else you have that I want.” His voice was calm as always, and I found this infuriating.

“What you ask is more than a favor. You know very well that you aren’t playing fair when you make such a request.”

“Why is it not fair?” Finally, he was beginning to sound as frustrated as I felt. “That I like you makes me want to join forces with you instead of destroy you. Isn’t that enough for you? For people like us, marriages are business arrangements, nothing more. My father thought so and your father would have told you the same thing if he were still alive.”

All he said sounded reasonable, except that he was completely wrong.

“Why is it not fair?” Yuji repeated.

“Because it is my heart!”

“Because you love someone else?”

“Why should that matter to you, Yuji? You don’t want my love anyway. You just want my compliance.” I started to walk back to the house. Yuji grabbed my shoulder.

“Anya, take the night to think about what I have asked you. Think of your situation. And the situation of your sister and of your brother. I do not mean this as a threat, but as a statement of fact. I have been your devoted friend, and I would like to be even more than that if you let me.”

I shook my head.

“As I said, do take the night to think about it. I will come see you before I leave.” He bowed his head, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stack of papers tied with a red ribbon. “Here. This is your gift.”

“What is it?”

“Letters,” he said. “From your family and your friends. Simon Green collected them for me to give to you.”

I took the small bundle from him. I had never received a paper letter from anyone. “Thank you,” I said. “Really, thank you so much.”

“If you reply tonight, I can bring letters back to the United States. I’m not going back there for at least a month, though. I should see your brother very soon, however.”

I didn’t know if I could trust him anymore, but I thanked him for the offer.

Yuji had already started walking back to the main house to say goodbye to the Marquezes when I realized that I had left my machete against a cacao tree. I told Yuji I would see him later and I ran back out to the orchard. In the clearing was Theo. He was carrying my machete and he had a sheepish expression.

“Theo!” I yelled. “Were you back there the whole time?”

Uncharacteristically, Theo would not reply.

“Did you hear my entire conversation? Were you spying on me?”

“Listen, Anya, it is nothing like that. I just followed you out to the orchard to make sure you were safe. I don’t know this Yuji guy very well.”

“So you were spying on me!”

“
Perdóname.
It is none of my business.”

“Theo!” My heart was racing. I honestly wanted to strangle him. “You know who I am then. You know my name.”

Theo sighed.

“Say my name, Theo.”

“Anya, I have known who you were for weeks now. Ever since you told me about your family being killed, I was able to piece it together. Why do you think I only engraved one initial on your machete handle?”

“Did you tell anyone else about me?”

“Of course not. I told no one. Do you think I have no honor? It is like I told you: Theobroma Marquez is a safe.”

“But you heard everything just now?”

“Sí. Lo siento.”
Theo paused. “You cannot marry this man, Anya. He is a bully, and in my opinion, he is no gentleman.”

Despite the conversation I had had with Yuji, I could not see him the way Theo did. I told Theo I was tired even though the only part of me that was really tired was my mouth. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I wanted to go up to my room to be alone with my letters so that was what I did.

IX

I RECEIVE LETTERS FROM HOME

12.7.2083
Dear Anya,

I hope these letters find you well and that your voyage to XXXXXX was not too difficult. Anticipating XXXX XXX’s visit to XXXXXX, Mr. Green and I collected these in hopes that they would reach you before the holidays. For the record, I did debate the wisdom of assembling this package as, should it be intercepted the letters could potentially be incriminating. However, after strongly cautioning the writers, I ultimately decided that the benefits outweighed the risks. Your father, who I served before you, would have wanted you to know during the holiday season that your friends and family have noted your absence.

On to business.

Re: the matter of Nataliya’s guardianship

I have filed the paperwork, and all is proceeding as we discussed.

Re: the manner in which you left New York

Though there was some interest in your disappearance in the days after, the official word from the city is that they have neither the resources nor the manpower to devote to tracking down Anya Balanchine.

Re: when you will be able to return

There is a new regime at the DA’s office and I do not know if they will be sympathetic to our interests or not.

Re: your uncle Yuri

He is still alive.

Re: the Family business

Mr. Green believes that Fats may be trying to take a more active role in the company.

Know that you are often in my thoughts and Keisha’s and Grace’s as well.

Happy holidays,

S. Kipling, Esq.

December 5, 2083

Dearest Sister,

(Do you like the greeting? I saw it in one of Imogen’s books.)

Well, it’s been almost two months since you left. At first I was mad, but then Simon Green explained that you couldn’t tell anyone where you were going or even that you were going and so I’ve more or less forgiven you. That’s the nice thing about sisters, if I do say so myself.

Things have been tolerable—at first I wrote “okay,” but I thought you’d prefer a better word here. The day after you left, they came to search the house but they didn’t find anything.

School is tolerable, too.

Win comes to see me sometimes. He is so nice, Anya. Seriously, he is the nicest boy in the world. He walks me to class sometimes, too, and he even came over for part of Thanksgiving.

Oh, Charles Delacroix lost the election! Did you hear that where you are? I think Win was happy that he lost, but he stood by his dad’s side at the concession speech.

The other thing that happened is that Scarlet is pregnant. I know she’s writing you a letter so I guess you’ll hear more about that from her. She isn’t saying who the baby’s father is, but everyone thinks it’s Gable Arsley even though he isn’t her boyfriend anymore. People are being kind of mean to Scarlet at school. I found her crying in the third-floor bathroom one day, and she said how much she missed you and wished you were here. She was so sad. (The funny thing is, I had gone up there to cry myself.)

Well, that’s about it. I think about you all the time. I wonder where you are, and I hope everyone’s being nice to you there.

Like I said before, I’m not mad, Anya, but I wish you had told me where you were going. I am your sister, and I would rather have decided for myself whether to come with you. I don’t mean to complain.

Your Loving Sister,

Nataliya Balanchine

P.S. Are you okay with the plan to have Mr. Kipling become our guardian?

P.P.S. I don’t want to bother you, but when will you be home?

P.P.P.S. Writing a letter is harder than I thought it would be.

P.P.P.P.S. I haven’t had that many nightmares.

30 November 2083

Anya,

A brief note to let you know that Natty is fine. She misses you a great deal, but your friends Win and Scarlet have done their best to cheer her up. I admit that the apartment does feel large without you, and we consume peas at an even slower rate than before. We all hope you can return soon. I have not been told where you are, but I know it can be a disorienting experience to be away from home for the first time. Here is a quote from one of my favorite novels—I believe you will readily recognize which one: “It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then the throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant, when half an hour elapsed and still I was alone. I bethought myself to ring the bell.” It seems to me good advice, Anya. If all else fails, ring the bell.

Imogen Goodfellow

My Darling Annie,

My life has fallen into utter tragedy!

Do you remember how I threw up when you were in the hospital at Liberty? Well, I never got the flu, and I thought, Oh, Scarlet, how lucky you are! But then I kept throwing up every afternoon at exactly the same time, and it turned out that I, your silly, love-crossed friend, was pregnant! And by Gable Arsley, that monster. I haven’t told him it’s his, but he knows, I’m sure he knows. Actually, I haven’t even spoken to him since the day we broke up. He tries to talk to me, but I ignore him. I don’t care. I would never raise a baby with him. I wouldn’t even raise a kitten with him. I wouldn’t even raise a stuffed kitten with him.

As for being pregnant … The biggest tragedy is that I was cast to be Juliet in Fall Shakespeare and then that beast Mr. Beery threw me out of the play when I told him I was with child! Can you imagine, Anya? The show goes on without me.

Also, my breasts are now as big as yours. Where before I had kiwis now I have grapefruit! I am not terribly fat yet but soon I’ll have to get a Trinity skirt with an elastic waist! Can you imagine? Scarlet Barber in an elastic waist?

Also, also, I have no friends. All the drama people are busy in the play, and everyone else is kind of ignoring me. Win is pretty much my only friend these days. He talks about you constantly. It would be incredibly boring if I didn’t miss you so much myself.