Beauty and the Bull Rider (8 page)

“
Had
is the operative word,” he replied. “Sometimes things don't happen exactly the way we expect them to, but that's not always a bad thing. C'mon. Let's go. I'm glad you wore jeans and boots. A dress sure would have put a damper on things.”

“Why's that?” she asked.

“You'll see,” he said cryptically and opened her door. Zac's musky, masculine scent washed over her the instant he climbed into the cab and closed the door. Her gaze tracked over his strong profile, down his torso to his tanned and muscled forearms, and then to the strong, calloused hands that confidently gripped the wheel. She wondered how those hands would feel stroking her naked body. She tried to ignore her reactions to him, but being this close to Zac ignited a flicker of desire deep in her belly.

“How's Romeo doing?” he asked as they pulled out of her private drive and turned onto the road leading to Tom's place.

“He's better,” she said, glad for a neutral subject. “He was bellowing up a storm when I picked him up. I think he was homesick. Kevin wanted to keep him one more day to be on the safe side, but I think he's on the mend.”

Zac's expression grew tense. “Tell me, Delaney, is there something going on between you and that vet? Something I should know about?”

“Like what?” she asked, surprised and a bit ruffled by the direct question.

“You tell me. I don't like the way he looks at you.”

“And you want to know if I return his interest?” Delaney asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “I think I deserve to know.”

“All right, Zac. If you really
must
know, we were sort of seeing each other for a short time.”

“
Sort of
seeing one another?” He glanced at her, mouth compressed. “There's no
sort of
, Delaney. Either you were or you weren't.”

She fought a smile at this not-so-subtle show of jealousy. “He invited me to go with him to a conference on bovine reproduction last year,” she said. “It wasn't technically dating.”

“Oh yeah?” His brows rose. “Where was this conference?”

“Padre Island.”

His brows drew tight, making a crease over the bridge of his nose. “Did you go with him?”

“Yes. We drove together.”

He shook his head with a muffled curse. “Let me get this straight. You went away together for a few days yet turned down my invitation to go to Laredo to look at livestock?”

“We didn't
go away
together, Zac. I told you it was a conference. It was extremely . . . edifying,” she replied, suppressing a smirk. Since he was beginning to act like a jealous jackass, she'd purposely chosen a word to bait him.

He snorted. “I'll bet.”

“You want to know if we slept together, Zac? Is that what this mini interrogation is all about?”

“Yes,” he answered, turning his head to face her squarely. “Did you?”

“No,” she replied. “Not that it's any of your business. I respect Kevin as a vet and value his friendship, but I don't have any romantic interest in him.”

“But that doesn't necessarily preclude him from your daddy prospects, does it?”

“Theoretically no,” she replied. “I had considered asking him after Ty declined, but then you came along.”

“Yeah,” he replied with a scoffing sound. “I came along. Are you saying you woulda picked him if I hadn't?”

At first she was miffed at his irrational display of possessiveness, but then she realized it was born of insecurity. He didn't know where he stood. She hadn't intentionally strung him along, but that was probably how he felt. She could relate to that feeling of insecurity. She'd known it well when she was with Ty.

“I'm not saying that at all,” she answered in a softer tone. “I was still mulling over my options. I hadn't decided anything.”

“And now?” he asked. “Have you decided?”

“I've been thinking, Zac. Thinking really hard. I'd planned to do this on my own, but now you've changed everything. Complicated everything.” All because he wasn't content just to be a sperm donor. He wanted to be a father.

“You're the one who chose to make it complicated,” he said. “I know you're gun-shy, Delaney. I can understand that and I'm willing to work really hard to help you overcome it, but you need to trust me.”

“Because you have such a great track record?” she replied dryly. “How many serious relationships have you been in?”

“None,” he answered.

“And you've been with more women than you can even remember, so maybe you can understand why I have some reservations.”

“Maybe I have been with a lot of women, but I've never cheated on anyone.”

“How could you when you have a pathological fear of commitment?”

His body emanated tension. His back and shoulders were too straight. He pulled off to the side off the road and cut the engine. “There's something you need to understand. It wasn't because I'm incapable of commitment. There just wasn't anyone I wanted. There's a huge difference.” His brows were drawn. He took her shoulders in his hands. “I know what I want when I see it, and right now all I see is
you
.”

The look in his eyes made it hard to breathe. She made the mistake of breaking eye contact to focus on his mouth and immediately recalled the feel of it on hers. She wanted desperately to feel it again . . . and a whole lot more, but feared that acting on that desire could only lead to trouble. Big trouble.

“You say all the right words, but words don't really mean anything,” she said. “If we agreed to have a baby together, how can I know you'll stick around?”

“Because I believe in promises and I
keep
my word. If I tell you I'm gonna be here, I'm gonna damned well be here. Once I set a course, I believe in staying on it.”

“But what if it's not the right one?” she asked. “Would you just keep going in the wrong direction?”

“Probably,” he admitted dryly. “It's that bullheaded quality I mentioned before.” He tipped her chin up to meet his gaze and continued softly, “I think we could be damned good together. I don't understand why you're fighting it so hard.”

“Because I'm scared, Zac. I want to believe this could work between us, but what if it doesn't? I've had my heart broken once, and once was enough. I just don't want to go through that again.”

“You think I'm not scared of the same thing?” he said. “That I won't measure up? That I'll screw it up? I hope to hell I don't, but I'm not going to let that fear keep me from going after what I want.”

“And what's that?” she asked.

“The same things you want—a home, a family. I came back to Oklahoma hoping to set down some roots. Maybe you came here for slightly different reasons, but you've stayed because you also wanted something to call your own. But the ranch isn't enough anymore, is it? None of it has made you happy.”

“No,” she confessed in a whisper. “It hasn't.” Although she tried to convince herself otherwise, she wasn't content with her life.

“So then you poured your heart and soul into cattle . . . but bottle-feeding baby calves still wasn't enough, was it?”

“No,” she said. It had only made her want more. Zac had seen right through her and forced her to confront the truth.

He reached for her hand and placed it on his chest. “I have a hole here too.”

She held her breath at the sensation of his strong, steady heart beating under her palm.

“There's a heart in there all right,” he said. “It beats steady and does its job without complaint, but there's something missing. I've been going through the motions for too damned long, and I think you've been doing the same. You think a baby's gonna fill that hole, and maybe it will. But what if it's still not enough? You're a beautiful, intelligent woman. You should have everything life has to offer. Why settle for less? Why sell yourself short? You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be with a man who appreciates you . . . and I'd like to be that man.”

D
elaney said nothing as Zac put the truck in gear and pulled back onto the road. His confession had shocked her speechless. How could she have known this man for so long, yet not know him at all? She stole a glance at him, vividly reminded of the adage about still waters. For almost eight years she'd worn her heartache like a badge of honor, but in less than a week this big, broody bull rider had reduced it to a barely perceptible twinge. She wanted so badly to be able to trust him. She longed to be held and kissed and touched . . . to be needed . . . to be loved . . . but things were happening so damned fast.

The rest of the ride was short and silent, which only amplified the tension. Delaney's nerves were stretched as taut as high-tensile wire by the time they pulled through the gate of the Circle B. It was a sprawling complex that included a main house, a bunkhouse, and a number of corrals and outbuildings. The main house was built in the style of a Mexican hacienda and sat on over ten thousand acres, which stretched out over grassy plains all the way to the river.

The ranch had belonged to Tom Brandt. He and Ty's father, Will, had been best friends and business partners in a rodeo company in their younger days. Tom had played around with Mexican fighting bulls back then, but his interest had died a sudden death when one of his prized animals gored and trampled Will Morgan to death. After that, Tom shut down his contracting business and shifted his main operation to raising Texas longhorns. He'd also taken on the role of surrogate father to Ty.

Because Ty and Tom were close, Delaney had spent a lot of time at the Circle B during the first few months of her marriage, but things had changed after the divorce. Although Tom had never made her feel unwelcome, it wasn't the second home to her that it was to Ty.

She was surprised when Zac drove her around to the back rather than parking in front of the house. “I thought we were having dinner.”

“We are,” he replied. “But I have something to show you first.” He parked his truck adjacent to a maze of chutes and pipe corrals, one of which contained a huge bull, a solid gray Brahman cross whose sheer size resembled a mountain as much as a bull.

“He's gorgeous, Zac!” she exclaimed. As if he understood, the bull raised its head with a snort. “Did you pick him up on your trip?”

“I did,” he said. “He had a solid first season and was on his way to the big leagues when he injured a hock in the chute during a practice last year. The vet said he's never going to buck again so they decided to sell him. The price was right so I brought him home.”

“How's he bred?”

“Champions on both sides. He's a son of Troubadour out of a granddaughter of Dillinger. His stats were real strong before he got injured. He had an eighty percent buck-off rate.”

“Impressive,” Delaney said with a nod. He really was a magnificent animal. She eyed Zac speculatively. She still didn't understand why Ty and Zac had suddenly got it into their heads to get back into bucking bulls. She'd begun to think of Zac as an ally, but now it seemed he and Ty were bent on competing with her in the breeding business. “So what's your plan for this bull?” she asked. “I thought you were only buying bucking stock.”

“We don't really need a stud at this juncture, but I was thinking you might consider him as a herd sire. I also bought a pair of heifers I thought you'd like. They're twins.”

“Really? Where are they?” she asked, her interest piqued.

“I have them over on the other side,” he replied, jerking his head toward the hay barn. “Didn't think it was a good idea to keep them too close to this monster. You wanna see 'em?”

“I'd love to,” Delaney replied.

Zac led her back past the maze and through the main barn, where two horses stood tied. She recognized the bay with the scarred rump as the horse that Zac had ridden to her rescue. On the other side of the barn was another set of corrals, where two young cows munched hay. Both were white with black spots.

“They're beautiful,” she remarked. “Plummers?”

“You do know your livestock, don't you?” He grinned. “Plummer breeding on the top and Reindeer on the dam side. Bred to buck for certain. I saw them in action with dummies. I can show you the video if you like. Figured I'd let you take your pick and I'll keep the other one.”

Confused, she turned to face him. “Why wouldn't you take your pick first and let me have the other? We're in competition with each other, aren't we?”

“Are we?” he asked with a sidelong glance. “I'd rather like to think of us as partners.”

“Isn't that a conflict of interests?” she asked. “You're already partners with Ty.”

“So are you,” he countered.

“Not really. We share ownership of the ranch, but that's just the real estate. He's not involved in any of my business dealings. And I have nothing to do with his. It's worked out fine until now and I'd like to keep it that way. This breeding endeavor was going to be mine alone, Zac. This isn't something I was planning to share with anyone.”

“Just like the baby you want?” he asked. “Why is it so damned important to you to do everything alone?”

“Because this is
my
life. I finally have control of it. Good or bad, I want to make my own decisions. I don't want anyone ever to take that away from me again.”

“You think I'd try to control you?” he asked.

“Maybe not intentionally,” she said. “But you've already begun.”

He cocked his head with a look of confusion. “What do you mean?”

She took a deep breath and released it on a sigh. “I know you meant well, and I don't want to sound ungrateful, but you bought this livestock on your own. It wasn't my decision.”

“I told you I'd keep an eye open for you,” he said. “I found a bull that I think would make you a great sire and two heifers to help build your herd of bucking cows.”

“I know that, and I appreciate it, but at the same time, I can't help resenting it.”

“Why?” he asked. “I thought we'd discussed it before I went.”

“I asked you to keep an eye out for me, but didn't think you'd act without even consulting me about it.”

Zac jammed his hands into his pockets with a frown. “I was only doing the same thing for you that I've been doing for Ty. You're not obligated to take them, if that's your concern. I'll keep 'em or sell them. It's no skin off my nose.”

“There's no reason to get pissed off, Zac. Can't you please try to see my side?”

Zac tipped his hat back, his eyes searching hers. “I know livestock, Delaney. Ty trusts my judgement. Why can't you?”

“That's not what this is about,” she insisted.

He jutted his jaw. “The hell it isn't. This is totally about trust, about taking a chance, about letting go.” She knew he wasn't just talking about the cattle. He was talking about the baby too.

“I don't know if I can,” she said.

“Then I think it's time to ask yourself if it's fear that's holding you back. Or is it really just stubborn pride?”

She opened her mouth and closed it again. She had no rebuttal. Was he right? Was it really stubborn pride that made her keep him at arm's length? If he really cared about her as much as he said, why not take a chance? God knows they'd both be getting something they needed.

He must have read the hesitation and self-doubt in her eyes. His expression softened. He continued in a husky voice, “There's somethin' else you need to understand. No matter how long this takes, I'm not going to give up, so you may as well quit fighting me.”

She realized then that she was tired of fighting him and she'd run out of arguments anyway. He'd rationally and systematically countered every one of them. She looked up at him with a rueful smile. “Has anyone ever told you you're one bullheaded cowboy?”

He flashed a cocky grin. “All the time.”

Delaney took a deep breath and blew it out slowly in an effort to calm her racing heart. “All right, Zac. I give up.”

“What do you mean ‘give up'?”

“I accept your offer to father my baby if you're still interested.”

“Yeah. I'm interested,” he replied. “I'd much rather we tried without test tubes or petri dishes, but I'll do it your way, if that's what you really want.”

She bit her lip, wondering if she was about to make a huge mistake. “I'm thinking that maybe we could try it the natural way. But don't get too excited, cowboy,” she quickly added. “This doesn't mean I'm going to jump in bed with you at the drop of a hat.”

“How about if I just dropped my jeans instead?” Although his remark was playful, his eyes ate her up.

“Very funny.” She tried to keep her tone light, even as she battled her fears.

Zac's show of humor vanished almost as quickly as it appeared. “So how are we gonna go about this exactly?”

“How about we start with dinner?” she reminded him softly. “I believe you promised to feed me.”

 

Zac knew by the change of subject that he'd pushed Delaney too hard. It was time to ease back. “I did at that,” he replied lightly.

He took her back into the barn to the pair of tethered horses. The bay with the scar nickered to them. The palomino echoed the greeting. Zac untethered the Palomino and handed Delaney the reins. She accepted them with a puzzled look. “I thought you were going to make me dinner?”

“Everything's ready and waiting,” Zac said. “We could have ridden the ATV, but I thought you'd enjoy the horses more.”

Her face lit up with a smile. He liked seeing her smile and hoped to inspire a whole lot more of them. “You're right about that,” she said. “I haven't ridden in ages. I still keep a couple of horses, but I never have time for pleasure rides. Where are we going?”

“You'll just have to wait and see,” he replied with a teasing grin. He'd spent the whole day planning this. He hoped the rest of his efforts wouldn't disappoint her. “You need a leg up?” he asked.

“No. I can manage fine,” she replied.

He watched appreciatively as she boosted herself up and into the saddle. He followed suit and they departed the ranch at a jog. Once Delaney seemed comfortable with her horse, he urged them into a lope. Although she hadn't been raised with horses, she sat one like a natural. The beauty queen was a quick study, and she was ballsy too when she had to be. He liked those qualities. A lot.

They rode for about half a mile to the edge of the small man-made lake. Since it was stocked, he figured Tom must have built it for fishing. He pulled up his horse and Delaney drew alongside, her eyes gleaming with pleasure. “It's beautiful,” she gushed at the vista of shimmering waters.

“The view's even better from the other side,” Zac said. “I came across this a couple weeks ago when we rounded up some strays. C'mon.” They rode side by side to the opposite shore, where he'd set up camp. Zac dismounted and then reached up to assist her.

“I don't need help, Zac,” she protested.

“I know that, but it's the gentlemanly thing to do. Besides, it's a great excuse to put my hands on you.”

She looked hesitant, but then dropped her reins and reached for his shoulders with a smile. “If that's the case, who am I to argue?”

It warmed his insides every time she smiled. It warmed him even more to lift her down and hold her in his arms. She fit so perfectly there, as if she had been made just to be held by him. So he took his damned sweet time letting her go. He could feel her begin to relax into him by slow degrees. He lowered his face toward hers.

Her breath hitched and then she abruptly broke away. “Should we tie the horses?” she asked.

“Let's unsaddle them and turn them loose,” he said. “The grass by the lake is green and lush. They won't wander far.” Once freed, the horses gave a snort and trotted off a few yards, where, just as Zac predicted, they began cropping the grass. Delaney's face lit with delight at the picnic site complete with china, silver, and stemware he'd pilfered from the house, and a blanket to sit on.

“I can't believe you did all this!” she gushed.

“I won't take all the credit,” Zac said. “I had some help from Rosa.” He handed her two wineglasses and opened the bottle of Rioja. “I admit I was counting on the view compensating for any shortcomings with the dinner.”

“You were right about that,” Delaney said. “I'd eat spam out here and be happy.”

“Spam? Dang!” He slapped his thigh. “I didn't even think of putting that on the menu. I hope you like this stuff.” He poured the dark, fruity liquid into her glass. “I'm not much for wine.”

He watched her nose wrinkle as she sniffed. “Smells wonderful,” she replied and took a sip. “Rioja's an unusual choice.”

“I thought it would go with the dinner.” He didn't tell her he'd found it on the Internet.

“Oh yeah?” She wandered toward the Dutch oven sitting on a bed of coals. “So what are we having?”

“I asked Rosa to make your favorite food.”

“She made tamales?” Delaney looked surprised. “Rosa must really like you.”

“What's not to like?” he replied with a look of mock affront.

“I don't know,” she countered playfully. “Are you looking for me to inventory your charms, Zac?”

“I think I'd rather take a detailed inventory of yours.”

Delaney met his gaze with an arched brow. “Sure looks like you had something real close to that in mind. Blanket. Check. Wine. Check. Romantic setting. Check.”