Beautifully Shattered (The Beautifully Series Book 1) (57 page)

Tears sting my eyes
from hearing the truth in his words. I knew it was awful, I saw it.
Heck, I even had to Google how to sew because he refused to go to the
doctors for stitches. I just never imagined it was that bad. Which,
of course, is stupid. I guess I didn’t want to believe it was that
bad. I can’t comprehend how someone could torture their own kid.
The only thing I’m sure of is that Wyatt Chandler shouldn’t be
able to breathe. He shouldn’t be allowed to practice medicine, when
he’s the reason why Jax would sneak into my bedroom at night. Wyatt
is the perfect actor, pretending to have been the best role model for
his soon. When you’re a renowned cardiovascular surgeon, nobody
questions you.

“I hate him!” I
finally manage to spit out.

“I wish I could say
that . . . There was so many times that I’ve said that, I even
believed it, but I realize that I can never hate him.”

“Even after
everything he’s done to you?” My voice cracks.

“Even after
everything, I can’t hate him.” He pauses to collect himself. “On
some level, I understand why he did it.”

“What?” I roar,
wishing that the light was on so I can see his face. The tears that
I’ve been fighting to hold in silently roll down my face.

Jax not hating his
father is one thing. I was okay with that. People have their own
feelings. I mean, I hate the man enough for both of us so it’s
fine. But to understand why Wyatt used Jax for his personal punching
bag is not something I’m okay with . . . I’m not equipped to
handle this.

Yeah, cause somebody
deserves to get a glass vase thrown at him because there was water on
the bathroom floor after his shower. Several pieces were embedded
into his back since he was only wearing a towel when Wyatt came
storming into his room that morning. Jax went the whole day with
pieces of glass in his back because he couldn’t reach them himself.

One of the millions of
memories that haunt me about Jax’s past comes rushing forward.

“
Have
you seen Jax?” Logan immediately asks me before I can shut the
front door.

I
drop my swim bag onto the floor, dread sinking in. Instantly I paste
a fake smile on my face to hide my fear. “No. Wasn’t he at
practice with you and Connor?”

“
No,
he didn’t show up for practice. Chris said that he left early,
sometime during fifth period. Just got up and walked out of class.”

My
earlier dread is nothing compared to what I’m feeling now. I saw
him this morning when he came over to take us to school, but that was
it. He didn’t even look up at me when I said good morning. I knew
something was wrong then. I just didn’t know how to ask him if he
was okay with everyone in the kitchen. So instead of talking to him,
I watched while he ate my last yogurt. He barely joked about it too.
I should have cornered him then and sought out answers.

My
heart pounds loudly, my hands tremble, I need to tell my parents
about Jax’s secret. If I do, I know Jax will find some way to deny
everything. He won’t risk being taken away from his dad, from me.
I’ve tried over and over again to make him see reason. I know our
parents will take him in, but he won’t let me confide in them.
Every day I live with the fear of his Dad going too far.

Cursing
myself for not pushing the subject this morning, I fidget with the
straps of my practice suit. I can’t stay still. I’m itching to
fumble into my bag for my phone and text Jax, but I don’t want to
in front of my brother.

“
How
did you get home?” I ask instead, pretending that I’m not scared
shitless.

Jax
didn’t sneak into my room last night. Every night I make sure the
house alarm is off and that my window is unlocked, just in case he
needs to sleep over here. When he’s here, I can take care of him
and know that he’s okay. When he’s not, I always think the worst.
I always imagine him bloody, broken on the floor, unable to move. I
usually don’t get any sleep, and if I do, I have nightmares.

“
Connor.”
Logan focuses on his phone again.

“
Hmm,
well I haven’t seen him since this morning when he stole my last
yogurt.” I try to act like I’m not worried so that I can get to
my room as quickly as possible. “I didn’t see him at school at
all, but I hardly do unless I eat lunch with you guys. I just thought
you guys went off campus for lunch. Have you called him?”

“
Huh?”

“
See
that shiny thing in your hand? It’s called a phone. Use it. Call
Jax,” I snap at him.

Logan
doesn’t know things about his best friend that I do, but still, he
should realize something is wrong if Jax wasn’t at practice. Jax
never misses practice.

“
I
did. No worries though, Addie, he’ll text me when he’s feeling
better.”

“
Feeling
better?” I squeak out.

Logan
rubs my wet hair. “Don’t worry, you won’t get sick before your
meet this weekend.”

Forcing
myself to laugh, I just nod. Jax getting me sick was the last thing
on my mind.

“
Okay,
well, tell him I hope he feels better.” I move towards the stairs.
“I’m gonna jump in the shower. I didn’t have time after
practice since Mom had to go pick up Hads from ballet.”

He
nods. “Connor is gonna bring over something to eat since the
parentals have that charity thing. Want to watch a movie with us?”
he asks while he texts away on his phone.

“
No.
I’m just gonna eat in my room then go to bed. I’m pretty sure
Coach is trying to kill us with all the in-n-outs we had to do
today.” I don’t even wait for a response before dashing up the
stairs to my room.

I’m
tearing into my bag as I reach the top of the stairs. As I near my
door I’m already calling Jax. It goes straight to voicemail.

“
Call
me when you get this . . . I’m worried,” I say as I open my door.

I
lock my door before turning on the light. I scream when I see a pale
Jax sitting on my bed, head in his hands. He lifts his head and gives
me a weak smile.

“
Hi,”
he whispers.

“
Ja—”

I
hear Logan running up the stairs.

“
What’s
wrong Addie?” Logan asks on the other side of my locked door.

Jax
winces as he tries to get up. I hold up my hand to tell him to stay
put. He doesn’t move again, but he doesn’t take his eyes off my
door, either.

“
Sorry,
I thought I saw a spider,” I call with a false laugh.

“
Thought
you saw a spider?” Logan asks.

“
Yeah,
but it was just lint. I’m gonna jump in the shower then I’ll be
down to grab some food.”

“
You’re
lucky the guys weren’t here. I don’t think Connor and Jax would
ever let you live that down. I thought somebody was in there trying
to kill you.”

I
force myself to chuckle again. Logan’s steps drift away and when I
can’t hear him anymore, I sigh.

“
That
was close,” Jax says.

Putting
my hands over my face, I force myself to take deep calming breaths.
“We need to tell someone,” I manage to say when I finally lower
my hands.

“
I
have five more months left and I’m free.”

“
Jax,
I can’t keep lying. You could die!” I plead with him.

He
attempts to stand but he’s too weak. “If you do, I’ll lose
everything.” I know he’s talking about college. A new life for
himself, out of his father’s shadow. “I can’t risk going into
the system. The beatings aren’t as bad anymore.”

I
hate that I agree with him. On some messed-up level, Wyatt has
lightened up since Jax has gotten older. He’s not the easily beaten
child anymore. Wyatt saves his punishments for when he can
unexpectedly lash out at him. Usually with some sort of weapon to
make the beating that much more severe. Jax used to suffer from the
lick of Wyatt’s belt, now it’s from anything that Wyatt can find.

My
anger disappears when I realize the extent of his pain. I shuffle
towards him and decide not to push the subject.

“
Ever
heard of a cell phone?” I ask.

“
Yeah,
sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jax says quietly.

“
You
didn’t.”

Jax
raises an eyebrow.

“
Okay.
Fine. But in my defense, I wasn’t expecting to walk in here with
you in my bed.” Jax gaze sinks to the rug. “Which brings us back
to the the whole cell phone thing. Where’s your phone, Jax?”

“
Left
it at home. I didn’t have time to grab it this morning. I barely
had time to grab my car keys.”

Forcing
myself to remain calm, I ask the question I’m dreading to have
answered. “What happened?”

Wincing,
Jax turns around and carefully lifts his shirt. At first I think
Jax’s back is covered in sparkles. Then I see the blood. Not
sparkles. Glass.

“
How
long?” I ask, already flying towards the first aid kit I keep
safely hidden at the bottom of my closet.

After
the first night I found Jax, I realized that I needed to get my own
first aid kit that had more to offer than a range of Band-Aids. Plus,
I’m pretty sure my parents would’ve noticed if our medical
supplies kept disappearing. Walking back to Jax, I attempt the
one-eyebrow thing that he does so well. By Jax’s smirk, I don’t
think I pulled it off.

Gripping
the tweezers, threatening, I say, “I can either be really nice or I
can be really rough.”

“
I
can just have someone else do it,” Jax bluffs.

I
call his bluff. Waving my hand towards the door I say, “Go right
ahead, I’ll even lend you my first aid kit.”

I
know he won’t go to anyone else which will mean that he will just
suffer. I’m about to say never mind when Jax lets out a big huff of
air.

“
Fine.
This morning.”

I
busy myself with the tweezers. This morning. Okay, that’s better
than what I was thinking. I was thought something happened last night
and that’s why he didn’t come over, because he couldn’t. At
least he was safe last night. I hope. Jax sucks in a breath when I
get closer to him.

“
Relax,
you big baby. I haven’t even touched you yet,” I say.

Different
colors of bruises cover his back. The yellow ones are old, from last
Monday’s punishment. Jax left his soccer ball out and Wyatt almost
tripped on it. By almost, I mean he saw it out of Jax’s room and
therefore he could have tripped on it in the middle of the night so
he punched Jax in the back two times. There are new bruises, though.
It’s Friday. I haven’t seen him since Monday night so these could
be from any of the other nights.

“
And
these?” I ask, lightly brushing my lips to the darkest bruise on
his back.

“
He
had to wake me up on Wednesday. Apparently, I made him late to work
so when I came home from school and he was waiting for me.”

I’m
afraid to ask what he used because I know it wasn’t his fist. No,
Wyatt only settles for his own hands if he can’t reach anything. He
wouldn’t want to damage his life-saving instruments.

“
Okay,
I’m gonna start pulling the glass out,” I tell Jax once I’m
positive that I’ve cleaned the tweezers enough.

His
whole body tenses. Not for the first time, I wish I could take his
pain away. I always have to stop myself from telling my parents. The
only reason I don’t is because Jax swears he will run away and give
up college. He’s a senior, but he’s only sixteen since he skipped
a grade before he moved to California. He has five more months until
college and he’s free of Wyatt. He’s gotten full academic
scholarships from the best Ivy leagues.

Connor
and Logan are going to New York, Jax is still undecided. I know
moving 3000 miles away from his father will be good for him, it will
give him a fresh start. I can’t help my heart breaking when I think
about it, though. Every time his scholarships are brought up, I have
to mold into a carefree smile even though I’m dying. Five more
months and Jax, the boy that I love, might be on the other side of
the country. Five more months and I won’t have to picture a broken,
lifeless Jax on the floor, bleeding out from the hands of his father.
We can survive five more months.

It
has to be enough, I can’t lose him. We’ve come so far.

I
turn his face towards me so he can see how serious I am. “Every
night, come here. It’s the only way I’ll know you’re safe. I
can’t keep wondering if he’s—”

He
lands a whisper of a kiss on my more than willing lips. “If that’s
what you need, then I promise every night I’ll be here.”