Beautifully Awake (12 page)

“Which one?” I teased. I smoothed my dress and dragged a finger under each eye to clear my smudged mascara.

“Always something sassy, baby. Come.” He entwined our fingers and pulled me out of the alcove. “The freshly fucked face is one I’m growing to love.” He lightly brushed his lips across mine.

Love.
Luckily, I was drifting in a haze of bliss and exhaustion and not in the mood to over analyze anything.

“Let me take you home.” I should have freaked about
home
too, but Chase’s giant bed was a great distraction.

C
hase was sound asleep when the morning sun streamed through the windows. He looked so peaceful lying on his side, his chin covered with morning stubble. Stunning. It took everything in me to not reach out and caress his face. I peeked at the clock. 8:15. This was probably the latest he’d slept in who knows how long. He deserved a few extra minutes after the night he gave me. And
so
much
more.

I slipped out of bed and went to the kitchen. Leaning against the windows, waiting for the coffee to brew, I checked my phone for messages. Four voicemails and nine missed texts. All from Sierra, minus one from my dad. I didn’t bother listening. My dad checked in every Saturday afternoon, like clockwork. I’d call him back tonight when I had time to shoot the shit. And Sierra, well her last text said it all.

Asspuck. U better be in a sex induced coma

Call me so I know ur ok!

Loved her, but wouldn’t put sending out the National Guard past her. In her defense, the last time she saw me I was in the middle of a heated exchange with a very intense looking Chase. Probably not the best first impression. Good god, if she only knew.

Sorry. Better than ok :)

Call u when I get home. xo

Better-than-ok was the understatement of the century. More like o
ff the freaking charts, too good to be true
. Pinch me. I replayed the past thirty-six hours in high definition. Hands down, favorite movie of all time. Cross between romantic comedy and erotica. Lord, help me.

Reaching up for two mugs, new muscles ached. I remembered every maneuver and who to thank for the delicious burn.
My
Dr. Sexy. I liked the sound of that. Who knew? Possessiveness was contagious.

Fine- but u owe me details.

What was dr douche’s excuse for last wk?

I had no idea. Did it even matter?

Real nice.

Gonna talk to ur baby w that mouth?

Nice job avoiding the question.

At least say he made it up to u in a BIG way?

Definitely BIG. Huge:)

Goddamn it...ur making me contract

Better not be lying.

Don’t get ur womb in a tizzy.

Call u 2morrow…lunch?

Obviously!

All joking aside- sure ur ok ?

U know I’ll kick his ass if he hurts u-

Doesn’t matter how BIG he is.

No doubt. I knew what she was asking.

I know.

Thx :)

Xo

Sierra’s heart was in the right place and I hated to worry her. Her misguided guilt sliced me. My past was just that. Mine. Some things were beyond our control, beyond my control.

The Cuisinart chimed and the aroma of joe infiltrated my senses. I loved coffee, and my gut told me the same might be true of that man in the bedroom. I poured two mugs and decided Chase was right. Sleep was overrated.

I dropped our coffees on the dresser and climbed under the softest white cotton in existence. The smell of Chase and sex permeated the sheets; it was intoxicating.

I lay staring at every inch of him, completely overwhelmed, my body tingling. Even asleep, he was beautiful. Tall and muscular, but not bulky. Every muscle was sharply defined. His body took up half of the king-size bed, but his presence filled the entire room. I was thankful. This man gave me back a part of myself I had shut down. Screw that, he activated hardware I never knew existed. I never planned on Chase. Most of all, I was thankful that I
felt
all of it. He needed to know it.

My fingers tenderly traced his Romaji characters.
First do no harm
. Like he needed the reminder. I kissed his rock hard belly on my way down to claim my prize. Chase groaned, low and gravelly, and his hard cock swelled even more.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice alone made my nipples tight.

“Saying thank you.” I circled my tongue over his smooth tip
.
“Maybe you lost count.” I licked the length of his underside. “But I do believe you said double digits.” I licked down the length of his topside. “I believe we’re well into the teens.” I licked around the base of his head. “And I get
anything, anything
I want.” I ran my tongue up his rigid hard length once more and took him deep in my mouth.

He tightly tangled his hands in my long hair. “Ah fuck, Blue.” He guided me with hard tugs. My head rose and fell, alternating between sucking and licking. I took him even deeper, swallowing as much as I could. “Yes, baby, suck me.” The dominant strain of his voice was insanely arousing. His body’s response had my sex dripping. He tasted like heaven.

I never imagined getting so much from giving. Going down was usually my go-to plan when I wasn’t in the mood to have sex. Selfish fuck-face was easy enough to get off. I never let him finish in my mouth, so I never cared one way or the other. This was different. Everything with Chase was different. I fantasized about giving Chase this since the first night he refused me. Every lick. Every taste of him turned me on more. I increased my pace and he fought for control. His guttural groans got more intense. Suddenly he released the tight grip on my hair and bent over, forcefully grabbing my hips. He turned my body until I was positioned on top of him. Belly to belly, but head to toe.
Sixty-freaking-nine
. He spread my thighs wide, positioning me over his mouth like a surgical mask.
Oh shit.

“You come first, or we come together ... understand?” It wasn’t a question. It was an order. And probably the sexiest thing I ever heard. “Answer me, Blue.” The heat from his breath against my sex almost sent me over the edge.

My lips released him just long enough to pant, “Understand.”

His mouth assaulted my sex, lapping me, teasing me.

My mouth went on autopilot, sucking like my life depended on it. I moaned each time his warm tongue circled my tight bud. Then he thrust his hard tongue in and out. I exploded. He gently kissed my trembling sex and held me tight while the wave crested.

He rocked my world for the umpteenth time, and I wanted more than anything to do the same for him. “Your turn, baby,” I whispered in the sexiest voice I could muster. Then I made a conscious effort to relax the back of my throat and take him as deep as possible.

“So fucking deep, you’re going to kill me. Next one’s together. Hear me?”

Next one
. There was no way. I couldn’t handle any more. I just wanted to focus on him.

His lips sealed over me again and he started to suck with the most exquisite amount of pressure. Then his finger slid through my wetness reaching further back. I tightly clenched as much as my position would allow. Nervous and embarrassed. This was definitely entering unchartered territory.

“Relax, baby. I would
never
hurt you. Trust me.” There were those words again.
Trust me.
I didn’t know how or why, but I did. I trusted him completely with my body and knew he would only ever bring me pleasure. Part of me wanted to believe I trusted him with my heart too. I was tired of over thinking, doubting. I just wanted to feel.

I whimpered loudly, unable to make any other sound, and tried to relax. His gentle seeking gave way to a push and a harsh, burning stretch. A painful sensation replaced by unadulterated pleasure. I was in ecstasy, throbbing for release, sucking furiously and writhing, until we both crashed over. Coming hard. Together.
Un-fucking real.

“Oh Chase. I never...” My throat knotted as unexplained emotions pummeled me. Vulnerable and exposed, I held tight against his thigh.

“Baby, come here.” He pulled me tight to his chest, gently caressing my shoulders and back. “That was amazing.” I felt his smile under his lips as he kissed my forehead. My eyes fluttered shut to hide my emotions. “Look at me. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” I opened my eyes to see his distress.

This man brought me to a place I never even thought possible. “Oh Chase. Oh god, no, please don’t think that,” I whispered in a soft, strangled voice. The tension in his shoulders visibly relaxed, relief evident in his eyes. “It’s just...” I paused to collect my thoughts. His thumb softly caressed my cheek as he quietly waited for me to continue. “It’s just, I mean I never ... um ... felt like this before.” My words were so simple, almost cheesy, but the magnitude of my emotions was palpable.

My body trembled as I clung to his chest. I wanted to be closer. I would have climbed into his body if I could. His hold never loosened. He stroked my back as the peaceful tranquility filled in around us. There was nothing but the sound of our breathing and synced pulse of our heartbeats. I crossed over the line; I took a small step over the heap of crumbled wall. This wasn’t just about passion and lust and desire, this was something more. This was a benchmark that I didn’t think possible and somehow I thought I passed it.

C
hase was quiet and tense most of the car ride across town, other than a few quick calls checking in at the hospital. His mood definitely took a change and not for the better.

“All of your patients okay?” I almost forgot that Chase was never really off. He wasn’t technically on-call, but his patients were still ultimately his responsibility.

“Yeah, just some post-op pain management issues. That jackass Carl is covering for anesthesia this weekend. He fucking sucks. His head is always up his ass. I had him banned from all of my cases, but they’re telling me there is nothing I can do when he’s on weekend call.” He looked disgusted. “So my patients have to suffer. It’s ridiculous. You’d think he was paying for the Fentanyl, he’s so fucking cheap with drips. I drill fucking holes in their skulls. Does he think they’re making it up? Two of my post-ops were in so much pain their blood pressure skyrocketed. When they fucking stroke out, he’s not the one who has to explain to their kids why their dads are gorked.” He scowled. “Now my third year has to sit and babysit blood pressures all day instead of prepping my cases for tomorrow. Bullshit.”

I laced my fingers in his. I definitely felt my share of responsibility toward the foster kids I worked with back in Wrangel, but I couldn’t begin to fathom the weight surgeons like Chase carried on their shoulders.

“Hey, at least you know Guy’s there. He’ll be on top of it. You couldn’t ask for a better resident,” I said reassuringly as our town car came to a stop.

“Hmm. That remains to be seen. I’m far from convinced.” His voice was harsh, his eyes cold.
Okay?

Our car door opened to yet another white-gloved gentleman. “Dr. Colton, Sir, nice to see you again. I assume you’re in town for your mother’s birthday.”

His body tensed and he tightened the death grip on my hand at the mention of his mother.

“Not exactly, but yes, we will be attending brunch this morning.” Chase glanced my direction, motioning with his eyes for me to exit the car. I slid toward the exit, grasping the extended white glove. I was thankful for the support since I was still a bit wobbly on my new shoes. Chase smoothly exited right behind me.

“Your package, Sir.” Our driver approached Chase and handed him a small gift bag.

“I appreciate you taking care of this for me, although not necessary.” Chase turned toward me and grabbed my hand. “Let’s get this over with,” he hissed in my ear. “I can think of far better ways to spend our time.”

I had absolutely no idea what I was about to encounter, but for some reason I didn’t think it was going to be pleasant.

Just steps from the
other side
of Central Park, on the corner of Park Avenue, was a prominent nineteen-story building. Bright green trees, creating a stark contrast to the art deco limestone exterior, lined it. The conservative edifice almost hid its luxury. Columns and a gated doorway that not so subtly hinted at the promise of silk sheets, and Picassos flanked the polished marble entry. Of course, his parents lived here.

The penthouse apartment door swung open as we made our approach. I had the feeling someone was looking through the peephole. The woman at the door held a startled expression. I assumed it was his mother. I definitely caught her off guard. It was obvious Chase had failed to mention he was bringing a guest. Her initial reaction of annoyance mirrored mine. I wished he had told them I was attending the party. But seconds later, her face softened as she joined her husband, who stood only inches behind her with a welcoming smile.

“Chase darling, you came.” She embraced him in a tight squeeze, kissing his cheek. Her soft blonde hair cut to a perfect bob encased perfectly shaped caramel-colored eyes. Her complexion sparkled and her skin was pulled tight. I’m sure living on Park Avenue definitely had its perks. Her team of plastic surgeons and dermatologists were conveniently situated just outside her door.

“Mother,” was all he said while handing her the small gift bag. “Dad.” Chase gripped the distinguished white haired man’s hand. Chase was the spitting image of his father. His stormy grey gaze was uncanny.

“Oh, darling, you shouldn’t have, you know I don’t need a thing.” She smiled wide, glancing in my direction.

Chase placed a reassuring hand on my lower back, coaxing me forward.

“Mom, Dad. This is Lili Porter. Lili, these are my parents, Constance and Gregory Colton.”

I smiled timidly, waiting for one of them to extend a hand in my direction.

“Oh, Chase. I didn’t know you had ... I mean you never mentioned anyone in your life.”

“What, Mother? You mean a girlfriend? Well, I do. And let’s not pretend that when we talk you ever ask me anything about
my
life.”

The encounter was definitely becoming awkward.

“Lili, please call me Greg.” Chase’s father pushed around his mother, extending a hand in my direction. Our clasp lingered a beat too long, giving me the creeps.