Beautiful Tragedy (A Standalone Romance Novel) (17 page)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

MOLLY

While we
were riding back to Brock’s apartment I had all kinds of things racing through
my brain. First of all, I had been appalled at Zack’s nerve, to think I would
have any interest in getting back together with him at all. I was really proud
of Brock, and he even phrased what he said to make it look like I wasn’t some
helpless little female that needed him to come to my rescue. He had wanted to
do it. Go Brock!

Between
him sticking up for me, and buying me a present, something inside of me
shifted. It wasn’t the fact that he bought me any present, I’m not that easily
bought, trust me. It was just that particular present. That told me that he
wasn’t just trying to buy me or impress me the way another guy might with
flowers or jewelry. What it said was that he really had to just be thinking
about me when he walked past that store. I wasn’t just saying so when I told
him either, this was the absolute most thoughtful gift I had ever gotten. I
will cherish it forever, my forever, however long that might be.

When we got to the apartment he offered me something
to drink. I jokingly said…

“Coffee?”

He gave me a look, and I wondered if my grandmother
had taught him that. I quickly laughed so that he knew I was joking and told
him water would be fine. I sat on the couch while he fixed it and I did some
soul searching. I wanted him to kiss me tonight…No, that’s not right. I did
want him to kiss me, but I didn’t want him to stop there. I wanted him to make
love to me. I wanted to feel myself in his arms and I wanted it to last all
night. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden tonight it dawned on me that I was
ready. I think it was seeing Zack again, kind of. It made me remember that
Brock was kind and patient with me before he knew I was sick, and now that he
knows, he’s still treating me like me. I’m sure it has something to do with the
fact he’s been through it all before himself, but whatever it is…I know now
that I’m falling for him. Even if it doesn’t last forever…my forever, I know
now that I’m blessed just for having known him for a little while. I guess I
also have to admit that after talking to Dr. Harris, I was also thinking about
my own mortality. If I have to leave sometime soon, I at least want it to be
with the memories of being in Brock’s warm, loving arms at least once.

He came back with the water and asked if I wanted to
watch a movie. I considered just blurting out what was on my mind, but thank
you God for filters, I thought better of it. I wanted him, but I didn’t want to
sound as desperate and in need as I suddenly felt. He put on a movie and I
honestly don’t even know what it was. It was like Brock and I were abruptly
transported into a vacuum and nothing or no one else was around, or even
mattered.

I looked
up at him, and he was looking at me. I could see the desire there, and I didn’t
want to fight it anymore. I put my hand on the side of his face, and I felt him
shudder. It was almost a powerful kind of feeling that my hand could elicit
such a strong reaction. I slipped my hand around to the back of his neck and as
I pulled him down towards me, I saw the look of surprise in his blue eyes.
After that, I closed mine and reveled in the feeling of his soft lips as his
mouth crushed down over mine. We kissed with an intensity like nothing I had
ever felt, and I knew now what romance novels were talking about when they said
things like, “It took my breath away.” I literally couldn’t breathe, and the
funny thing was that I didn’t care. I would gladly give it all up for the
chance to stay in his arms with our lips pressed together like this forever.

When at
last he had to take a breath, he pulled his head up, and in a winded voice he
said, “Are you okay? I shouldn’t have…I mean I should have asked you…”

I smiled
and told him, “It may have been hard to ask my permission when I was attacking
you.”

He
laughed, “Okay, good. For a minute there I wasn’t sure how that happened. I
thought, kiss now, and think later.”

“Me too,”
I told him. “But now that we’ve stopped kissing and I’ve had time to think…I
don’t want to think, I want to kiss some more.”

 
I didn’t have to tell him twice. His lips were
against mine again, and this time I felt him using his tongue to part mine. My
hands were now clutching tightly around his head, my fingers wrapped up in his
hair, and I was pulling him into me, afraid that he was going to stop. We explored
each other’s mouths with our tongues, every once in a while Brock would stop to
allow us to breathe and he’d use his tongue to softly trace my lips. That sent
goosebumps like tiny little beacons of pleasure scurrying down my spine and out
to every part of my body.

He had
one hand on my waist, and the other on the back of my neck, pulling me into him
as well. My skin was hot wherever he touched me, even
through
my clothes. I could feel the hand on my waist, inching my blouse up a little,
just enough so that he could have contact with my bare skin. When he did, I
felt him shudder again, and it was like touching a torch to a stick of
dynamite. I used the hand that still held onto his head for leverage and I
pulled myself up into his lap. That was when he stopped again. He pressed his
forehead to mine so we were eye to eye as we panted and tried to catch our
breath. When he had control of his once more he said, “Molly, we need to stop.
If we go any further…”

Emboldened
by the fact that I was now sitting on his lap with his strong arms around me, I
said, “I don’t want to stop.” I never noticed before, how his eyes changed
color, or maybe I had just never been this close to them before. But right now
they were shifting from their normal beautiful light blue to a dark, intense
one.

“You
don’t have to do this Molly. I want to be with you…so bad. But it doesn’t have
to be now. I’ll wait for you, as long as you need me to.”

“I don’t
want to wait any longer,” I told him. “I want you now, Brock. I’m sure. No
worries, okay?”

He still
looked a little worried, but I could tell that the hormones were driving him
even harder. He kissed me again, and as we kissed I felt his hand begin to
fondle the buttons on my blouse. He wasn’t undoing them; he was just…touching
each one of them as if he were still trying to figure out whether or not we
should do this. He was worried about me, and that was sweet and for a guy his
age, downright amazing. But I was on fire, and I didn’t want him changing his
mind because he was afraid that I would have regrets. As his lips slid from my
lips down to my neck, I made the decision for him. With one hand I continued to
caress his soft hair as he kissed me, and with the other I undid the buttons on
my blouse. When I was finished and it was open to where, when he opened his
eyes, he was looking right down into my lacy pink bra, I felt the muscles in
his arms go taut and he sucked in a breath that reverberated through him.

He put
his hot lips on my shoulder then, and kissed each one as he pushed the blouse
the rest of the way off down my arms. He stopped again for like half a second
and this time I only nodded. He slipped his hand around my back and unfastened
my bra. He made a low growling kind of sound deep in his throat as my breasts
spilled out and then he said, “Let’s go in the bedroom.” I was glad he had
thought of it. Jake and I were already too close, seeing each other in a
compromising position might take it further than either of us wanted. I stood
up, feeling slightly embarrassed by the fact that I was completely exposed. But
the look in his eyes was enough to convince me that I wanted him to see me, and
touch me.

He led me
to the bedroom by my hand and shut and locked the door behind us. He tossed my
blouse and bra that he had kindly picked up and brought with us aside, and then
he took me in his arms again, crushing my naked breasts against his chest this
time as we kissed. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugged on it. When it
got up over his abdomen, he stopped kissing me long enough to pull it over his
head and allow it to join my clothes on the floor. He just looked at me then,
the light wasn’t on, but there was enough moonlight coming through the blinds
that I could see how beautiful he was. He touched me, softly just above one of
my breasts and then traced his finger across and around them as he said in a
husky voice, “Molly, you’re the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen.”

I
shuddered at that, or at what he was now doing to my breasts with his fingers,
or both. He kissed me again on my lips, this time leading me backwards towards
the bed. Before he laid me down, he unhooked my skirt and let it fall to my
ankles. I kicked it the rest of the way off as I lay down and I watched as he
unfastened his jeans and let them fall to the floor. He lay down next to me
then, kissed my lips and then my neck and then my breast. Then he used his lips
to brush over the nipple softly, sending another electric shock coursing
through me. I lay there in ecstasy for the next fifteen or twenty minutes while
he explored my body, moaning and shuddering sometimes as if he were the one
being pleasured. I was doing some moaning of my own though, and when I finally
couldn’t stand it any longer I took both sides of his face in my hands and
guided him back up to my lips. While we were kissing I felt his hand drifting
down again across my collarbone and then my stomach, down to the line where my
panties began. He traced them, softly, erotically, driving me mad once again.
Then he moved his hand down to my thigh and he ran his fingers up one and down
the other, each time coming closer to touching the spot in the middle that
would drive me over the edge.

I ran my
fingers down his back as he caressed me, careful not to dig too deep and put my
nails into him, until at last he did go up far enough to slip his hand
underneath the edge of my panties. He sighed as he felt my wetness, and I
tensed up every muscle in my body as I felt his fingers caressing me there. It
was a surreal feeling almost, and I lost myself in it. The sounds coming from
low in my throat didn’t even sound like my own voice as I moved my hips on the
bed under his touch. I reached over then, and I touched him through his boxer
shorts. I had never felt a man before; it was surreal, but it felt so right and
it drove me to want more. I was shocked by my own boldness as I slipped my hand
down across his hard abdomen and into the top of his shorts. I felt his body
jump almost convulsively and I thought I had done something wrong, but when I
started to take my hand away he led it back to where it had been. We lay there
like that for a while, just touching and discovering each other. Then in one
swift move, Brock lost his shorts, and removed my panties, the last two
barriers between us. He lifted himself up on his strong arms and I traced the
outline of the tattoos on them as I looked into his pretty eyes. He asked me
one more time before slipping on the condom that had suddenly appeared in his
hand, “Molly, are you sure?” I nodded. I was sure, a thousand times so. He was
so
gentle as he worked himself into me. I hadn’t told him I
was a virgin, but I’m sure it wasn’t hard to figure out. I had heard so much
about the pain that at that second I was nervous, but then I felt him nudge
through to where he needed to be and we were suddenly both plunging head first
off of the edge of the virtual cliff we had been dangling from. As we moved our
hips together, he kept whispering my name. It gave me chills to hear him say
it, breathless and intense. My head was swimming, but that was fine because my
body had completely taken over. It was like it knew exactly what to do and it
led me to a point of climax that took whatever rational thought was left in my
head away. His entire body tensed and convulsed then, and he shuddered and
collapsed on top of me. I could feel him trying to catch his breath, and his
heart as it pounded against his chest…or was that mine? He tried to move,
thinking he was crushing me, but I clutched onto him, wanting to keep him right
there with nothing between our hearts but skin that glistened with the sweat of
our lovemaking.

CHAPTER
TWENTY

BROCK

My whole left side was numb. It was like right after
my first surgery on my head, I couldn’t move my left arm, and my left leg was
completely uncooperative as well. Except that time I had a brain tumor and this
time I have the most beautiful girl in the world laying on me, naked. This time
wasn’t like that one at all. I just wanted to mention the part about the most
beautiful girl in the world being naked in my bed.

“Good morning,” she said with a sleepy smile.

“Good morning beautiful,” I said, kissing her on top
of the head. Even first thing in the morning she was gorgeous. She looked happy
and peaceful. I was glad. I had been afraid that she would be having regrets
after last night. I ran my fingers up and down her arm. Her skin was so soft.
She was lying against me and I took my hand and started running it down her
back. When I got to the lower right side, I could feel a tiny little scar. I
wasn’t thinking, just running my fingers across the texture of it and she said,
“That’s where they took my kidney out.” I didn’t say anything; I just kept
rubbing her back. I had seen the scar on her chest last night from her Meta-port.
I knew that’s what it was, because I had the same one. Mine had refused to work
how it was supposed to though, and after a while they had just taken it out and
started using PICC lines or IV’s to give me my chemo. It ruined my veins and
scarred up my arms. As far as surgical scars go though, I was lucky…once my
hair grew back.