Beautiful Souls (4 page)

    
              As a result, the drive home had remained fairly quiet; partly quiet because my mind was still racing with scenarios of this morning’s events, but also because my mom thought it was best to keep things silent for my sake so that I could lie back and rest as we drove.

    
Every cloudy thought was filled with  ‘
could haves’
and '
possibilities of what the future may hold'
, resulting in my speechless condition. I was completely obsessed
and intent on recollecting any tidbit of memory or detail from my visions that could've possibly given any clue as to what it all meant; so much so, that I did not notice as our van pulled onto our driveway and came to a stop outside our back door.

    
              A minute must have passed before my mom finally asked, “Bec, are you going to get out of the car? You need some help?”

    
              My ears heard her words, but my brain didn't process them.

    
              She must have realized that something was wrong, and that I just wasn’t going to get out on my own. “Are you still feeling dizzy?”                   “No, I’m fine. I can do it on my own,” I answered, as her questions finally computed in my brain. I felt silly that I was so distracted it had gotten to that point.

    
              I'd reached for my stack of books and school bag lying in the back seat, opened the passenger side door, stepped out onto the gravel with my arms full, and slammed the door shut with my foot. My mom and I both headed across the small patch of yard toward our back door when we heard and turned at the sound of a vehicle pulling up the drive behind us.

    
              It was no surprise to me when I spied the big green pick-up truck, riding on giant tires with mud splashed down the sides, bouncing across the gravel driveway. I'd known that truck well. Leo pulled to a stop and parked behind my mom’s van, then he hopped out of the truck in one swift movement. He was at my side in a matter of seconds.

    
              “How ya feeling, Becca?”

     
              “I’m fine, Leo, really. You didn’t have to leave school to come check on me. Seriously, I’m just going to head up to my room and sort some things…um, rest for a little while. I’ll be back at school tomorrow,” I assured him.

    
              Leo stared at me with his familiar and concerned eyes.

    
              “I’m perfectly fine. Honest.”

    
              I absolutely hated lying to Leo and keeping secrets from him, but I hadn't even known what really happened myself, so how was I supposed to explain it all to him?

    
              “Okay,” he conceded.  “I just wanted to check for myself and see that you were all right in person. You know how that goes, right Becca?” Leo questioned me with a smirk and a wink. I assumed he was recalling all the mornings I knocked at his bedroom window, checking that he had made it safely through the night after his scary incident in the river. We locked eyes and I felt the same heat that had overcome me this morning. What in the world was that? Did he feel it too?

             
“Yeah, I know.” I grinned, playfully returning his wink. What was I doing? Had I really just flirted with Leo?
Knock it off
, I told myself. Yes, Leo's definitely my type. Yes, that cheesy, gorgeous grin of his got to me every time. And yes, I'd felt a shiver run up my spine each time we had accidentally brushed against one another, but that was just hormones, right? Instinct took over and before I thought  otherwise I asked, “Hey, do you wanna take a walk with me?”

    
              “You sure you feel up to that?”

    
              “Of course, I told you I’m fine. Let’s walk back to the woods, ‘kay,” I said as more of a statement than an actual question.

    
              My mom headed back toward the house with my bag and books, but not before she had given me a stern warning that I needed to be back to the house in absolutely no more than fifteen minutes and Leo should head back to school immediately after.

 
                 Leo and I walked through the field of freshly cut, straw-colored cornstalks behind my house. I saw Leo’s house just across the road behind us. In the opposite direction, straight in our path about a hundred yards ahead, was the first row of trees which began the fron
t
edge of the woods.

    
              The peaceful sounds and happy chirps, from the birds in the trees before us, had grown louder as a gust of fresh autumn breeze ruffled a few of the remaining fire, golden, and rust-colored leaves still left on the baring branches, destined to fall within the next few weeks.                   I pulled my sweater tighter around my waist, and I yanked the sleeves of the warm fabric down to cover my hands, far enough to where only the tips of my chewed, unpainted fingernails were visible. After a few minutes of wordless silence passed, the only sounds being the crunch of our steps and the ruffle of the birds and breeze in the trees, Leo motioned me to stop and looked me directly in the eyes.

    
              When he still didn’t speak, I finally asked, “Leo? What is it?”

    
              “I just wanted you to know, if you don’t already, that you can tell me anything,” he paused for a moment. “You know that don’t you?”

 
                 The quiver in his voice had taken me off guard a bit. It wasn’t like him to be nervous or timid, but I trusted Leo with my life. I thought it strange when uneasiness set into parts of my body, and the air between u
s
had suddenly grown tense and uncomfortable.

             
“Yeah, of course I know that,” I eventually replied, still confused.                         

             
“I just wanted to make sure you know that you can tell me anything. No judgments, okay?”

             
“Sure,” I responded, uneasiness still thick in the air.

    
              “And if I ever need to tell you anything then I could do that too, right?” Leo added.

    
              “Sure,” I'd answered quickly and a little too high-pitched for my liking.  “You can tell me anything, no matter what it is or how good or bad, of course.”

    
              That turn, from what our usual conversations entailed, was a bit of a surprise;not what I expected from the walk at all.

    
              Leo throwing out those type of comments and questions, out of the clear blue sky, had thrown me off and made me think that he was perhaps more intuitive than I’d ever given him credit. Although he'd made me slightly nervous, I had to admit he'd peaked my ever growing curiosity, too.

    
              “Do you have something that maybe you want to tell me?” I had thrown back at him, half teasing.

    
              “Okay, here it goes. I was just wondering…”

    
              Oh, wow. There really was something else beside my so-called fainting spell on Leo’s mind.

     
              Leo paused for a very long moment before he turned to look back toward my house. The idea that he appeared to have as much chaos clouding his mind as I did, had me baffled. The way he was acting was so out of character for him. What was going on? Could he have really known about my visions?

    
              When he didn’t say anything more I was forced to ask, “Leo, you were wondering?”

    
              Did he really have an indication that something besides a little bit of dizziness and a fainting spell had gotten the best of me? A million thoughts raced through my mind when he turned back around and looked me dead in the eyes again, full of confidence and somewhat acting like his normal self.

    
              “Becca?” he asked, a bead of sweat had formed on his left temple.

    
              “Yeah? What’s going on? You’re starting to worry me.”

    
              “Bec, I know we’ve been friends for a long time.”

  
 
              “Yeah, like our whole lives,” I giggled.

    
              I was completely at a loss for words now. Millions of thoughts and possibilities ran through my mind about what Leo could've possibly known. What was he trying to get out of the dragged out conversation we were trying to have?

    
              I wanted to tell him so badly to just spit it out, but didn’t for fear of what could be coming. I had so little time to process anything that had happened today for myself, let alone be forced to attempt an explanation to Leo.

    
              “Will you go to the Homecoming dance with me?” he blurted out. Leo let out a sigh that he must’ve been holding in since he first pulled into my driveway.

    
              “Um, that’s what you wanted to ask me all this time out here?”

     
              I was relieved, at first, that he had no insight to what had really happened to me at school that morning. Then, reality of what Leo had just asked me began to soak into my mind, and all the possibilities and problems that could arise from my answer started to cause me to form sweat beads myself. Could there have been a heavier question bearing more weight than this one for the two of us, for two lifelong friends?

    
              “Well, yeah.” Leo sounded somewhat deflated. “So, what do you say, Bec? Be my Homecoming date?” Leo showed his perfect, cheesy smile.

    
              What was he doing to me? How could I have ever resisted that crooked grin? There was a long and heated pause, as I pondered my answer. “As friends, right?” I questioned, before I could have possibly thought all the way through his question or my answer and how it may have made him feel, or that it wasn’t what I actually wanted. Did I really want to take that next step with Leo and turn our lifelong friendship in to something more. I was fairly confident that my body told me
“yes”,
but my brain shouted warnings and red flags.

    
              Honestly, who was I kidding? Any girl would be crazy if she didn’t think Leo was a catch. He was the quarterback for the varsity football team, already had accepted a partial scholarship to attend I.U. next fall, and he stood a gorgeous 6’ 2” --- a total bonus for me.

    
              Leo was --- for lack of a better word ---
beautiful
.  He had a lean muscular build, and streaks of blonde highlights running through his hair from so much time spent outdoors playing football and helping his dad on their farm. His hair would've had a little wave to it if he'd ever let it grow out, but he usually kept it cut pretty short for football. He had that handsome crooked smile, of course, that I could never say
“no”
to, and his eyes --- oh, those eyes --- were such a bright crystal blue. I swore
sometimes he used them to penetrate straight into my soul. I was such a sucker for beautiful eyes. Leo was kind, attentive, and just an overall wonderful guy; cocky at times, sure, but that was just part of his charm and sense of humor.

    
              But it was
Leo
. The Leo that I made mud pies with in his backyard when we were four years old; the Leo that I rode bikes with, climbed trees with, fished with, and even built a go-cart with in our garage during one of our past summers of growing up together.  I just didn’t know if I could ever see him as anything more than just
Leo
, my best friend.

    
              Obviously, with the reactions my body had been having to him with the heat and the shivers, I felt that we could definitely be more than friends, but would I ever be able to get my mind to go along with my body? I think I’ve had that familiar wall up for so long --- you know, the wall that all girls put up when they mark a male friend as
“just a friend”
for one reason or another --- that I’d have to break out my jack hammer to break it down. Then again, the effort would be totally worth it to be with Leo.

    
              Leo hesitated. “Well, yeah, of course friends. What else?” he answered with what was supposed to sound like a laugh, but it had come out as more of a huff instead.

   
              “Oh, I don’t know. Never mind. Sure, why not.” I answered, feeling a little disappointed and slightly deflated.

    
              “Great,” Leo’s reply sounded neither happy nor sarcastic.

    
              “So, do you just want me to wait around for you after the game, or do you want to meet me at the dance?”

    
              “Definitely wait for me,” he responded quickly, as his eyes dropped to watch his feet digging around in the clumps of field that were mounded with bits of leftover corn and stalks from the fall’s harvest. He continued, “There’s something that I’d like to show you before we head over to the gym.”