Beautiful Liar (8 page)

We haven’t spoken in days. I finish my dance and head to the dancers lounge. Turner follows me, but he doesn’t lock the door. “Hey,” he gives me a hug. “I am so sorry about your mom. Had I known I would have cancelled my trip to Vegas. I should have known something was wrong when I didn’t hear from you.”

“I know, I’m sorry I was being an idiot. How did your meeting go?”

“Great, I did it. I think I landed the account. Ritchie has to finalize the deal but once he does you are looking at the co-owner of this club.”

“That’s great, I am really happy for you.” He leans in to kiss me. My guilt makes me stop him. “Turner I have to tell you something.” He looks at me with a curious face. “I did something stupid. The other night when I last saw you. I tried to come into the lounge and the door was locked. I sat at the bar and waited to see who would come through the door and I, uh. I saw Krista walk out and she was wiping her mouth. And well the point is, you walked out after her and you were buttoning your sleeves. I thought.”

“You thought what, Darby?”

“I thought you were in here with her. I didn’t stick around to find out what was happening. So when you called me I ignored it.”

“Don’t you trust me? I would never hurt you! I told you I would try and I meant it.”

“There is more. My mom passed away. I was so hurt and confused. I called Brody and he came here for the funeral. I had every intention to tell him about Aiden, but somehow I ended up in his hotel room.”

“Just stop Darby! I don’t need to hear the rest.”

“Please Turner I need to explain what happened!”

“Darby I told you I would walk away, this is me loving you enough to do just that.”

Watching him walk away is so hard. I want to run after him and make him see. I don’t love Brody. I want him and only him. I need Turner to understand. I need him, Aiden needs him. Instead I stand frozen in place, hoping and praying he will walk back through the door and tell me it’s okay. I keep waiting but he doesn’t return.

I finish out the rest of my shift without seeing him anymore. I am pretty sure he has left for the night. I pick my little man up from Caroline’s even though he is supposed to be spending the night. I don’t want to be alone tonight.

There is a knock on my door and I am so excited Turner must have changed his mind. He has come to tell me he can’t go on with out me. But it isn’t Turner.

I open my door to a broken Brody, this is not the way I last saw him. His hair looks greasy; there are purple circles under his once beautiful green eyes. Now they are dull, lifeless even. I don’t need to ask to know why he is here, he knows the truth.

“What gives you the fucking right to make a decision like that for me? Just who in the hell are you Darby? What kind of person does that, and to their child. I had every right to know! Every fucking right!”

Brody goes down on one knee clutching his chest like he can’t breathe.

“Just calm down! Let me explain, please don’t wake Aiden.”

“Why don’t you calm the fuck down? Your days of making my choices are over! I want to see him Darby! I want to see my son.”

“Okay. You will see him, but not like this. Not while you are upset. And not when you have been drinking!”

“Don’t do that. Don’t talk down to me like I am a child you are taking pity on. You can’t keep him from me any longer! Aiden, daddy’s here!” He shouts taking a step towards the hall.

I take a step in front of him. “Brody please, just stop and think for a moment. If you go barging into his room shouting and waking him up, you will scare the piss out of him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, was I not good enough for you?”

“Brody, you were my everything. I wanted a better life for you than what my dad had. Can’t you understand that? I wanted you to live your dream and you did, you still can if you pull your head out of your ass!” I grit my teeth in frustration; this isn’t how I pictured our conversation turning out.

“How did you find out about Aiden, who told you?”

“Didn’t you see the picture of the two of you sitting next to my boss, Marty Walsh in the newspapers? It only took me one look at the picture to see that he is mine!”

“Brody, please!”

“It wasn’t your choice to make Darby! You’re a selfish bitch. I would have been, no I am going to be the best dad. Tomorrow I am calling my lawyer, I have rights. I won’t try to take him from you, like you have me. But he will know me, and you can’t stop it.”

“I have wanted to tell you, but I just never felt it was the right time. I was going to tell you when I made the choice to keep him, but you had just been signed to play with the Red Jackets. Then after that you got married. I didn’t want to cause you any problems. Then your divorce happened and the tabloids reported your troubles. I didn’t want to add to it.”

“We could have had a great life together Darby. And damn if I don’t still just want to take you in my arms and never let you go again. But I don’t know if I can ever forgive this. I want to kiss your lying mouth even though you don’t deserve it.”

Brody grabs me by the back of my head and forcefully shoves his tongue down my throat. He smells like a seedy bar. I used to ache for this moment, but not like this. I push him back.

“Tell me you still want me, Darby!”

“Not like this Brody, you’re drunk and upset. We will talk tomorrow.” A tear falls down my cheek. I hate that he looks so lost, so undone.

“Please take a cab back to your hotel and I will make arrangements for you to meet him and spend some time with him.”

He takes a deep breathe and let’s go of his clinched fist. Without another word he writes down the name of his hotel on the back of my cable bill that is lying on the kitchen counter.

He starts towards the door; he places his hand on the knob. “Brody I am so sorry I lied to you. I hope one day you can understand.”

“Sorry you lied! Well doesn’t that just make you a beautiful liar then?”

He quietly shuts the door. The shock finally hits me that Brody is here. He knows about Aiden, and that I have kept him from being a father. What in the hell kind of mess have I made for us? He is never going to forgive me. I can’t blame him.

I wish Marla were still with me, I miss her so damned much. Some moments I forget she is really gone. I still can’t bring myself to sit in her chair, but I can’t bring myself to part with it either.

I clutch my heart and sink to the floor by the door. Turner and Brody hate me. Brody is going to take Aiden from me and turn him against me. I can’t lose him too. Aiden is all I have. I hear tires squealing in the distance and pray harder than I ever have. I pray that Brody isn’t behind the wheel.

Two days have passed and I haven’t been able to reach Brody. It is being reported on the news that he is missing. I can’t turn on the TV or the radio without hearing about it. God I hope he is okay. I don’t think I could take it if something happened to him after the terms we parted on. Why did I let him walk away so angry? I keep replaying his last words to me over and over again,
doesn’t that just make you a beautiful liar
. The word liar seems to echo through my mind.

I am sitting in the floor playing cars with Aiden and listening to the radio, he loves music.

The broadcaster cuts in with a special report. This is Chip Morgan interrupting your program with a special report. We are receiving numerous unconfirmed reports that baseball super star Brody Case has been found dead. It appears at this time that he has died from injuries sustained in automobile crash.

They say they are moments in a person’s life when time actually stops. It stands completely still and you can’t hear or feel anything. This is that moment. I blink, turning off the radio and switching to CNN News on the TV. I see Brody’s picture plastered across the screen. They cut to a live scene showing a wrecker pulling a mangled heap of metal from an embankment.

Sources will neither confirm nor deny that this car, you see here being pulled from this embankment belongs to baseball star Brody Case.
Brody Case
, the name echoes through my head a thousand times. Please God no! I run to the bathroom and empty my stomach. I recognize the car, because it is the same one he rented while he was here for my mother’s funeral.

Pain hits me with such force I don’t think I can survive this. I put a pillow over my face to muffle my screams. I don’t want to scare Aiden.

Caroline is knocking on my door, I hear her calling my name but I can’t answer her. She lets herself in with the spare key.

“Darby, its Caroline are you home?”

I weakly make my way back to the living room and find her hunched down in the floor talking to Aiden about his cars.

She see me and catches me just as I am about to greet the floor with my face. “I, I can’t do this Carol. I can’t watch. What are they saying?”

“They have been reporting the same thing for an hour now. They won’t release anything concrete until they have talked to family. That’s how they handle things like this. How about some tea? Want me to make you some tea?”

“No I don’t want any fucking tea!” I don’t mean to snap at her. I know she is only trying to help. It’s only been one week since I lost my mom. Fate can not be this cruel can it?

“This is entirely my fault, I pushed him too far. I killed him Caroline! I killed Aiden’s father!”

“Hush, hush with that talk. You did no such thing child. You didn’t do that,” she points at the wreckage on the screen.

“
I’m going to take Aiden to the park for a bit, will you be alright if I leave you here alone?”

“Yes,” I sniffle. “I won’t do anything stupid, I’m all Aiden has.”

She places a kiss on my forehead. I can’t bring myself to look at Aiden right now. He looks so much like his father. All it took was one picture for Brody to know he was his. Why didn’t I let him sleep on the couch? I should have offered but he was drunk, and I was afraid he would try to take Aiden. He wasn’t thinking clearly. Everyone will blame me, and they have every right to.

My phone chimes, it is my daddy calling.

“Hello,” I answer through broken sobs.

“Sis, I take it you’ve heard the news.”

“Yeah but the news hasn’t confirmed anything.”

“I didn’t want to tell you like this, but it’s true. Brody is gone. I just talked to his Aunt Reba, the one who works at the bank.”

My phone hits the floor. I just want to curl up right here on this ugly yellow floor and die.

“Darby!” I hear my daddy shouting my name repeatedly but I can’t talk to him. He is going to ask me why Brody was here, when he already knows the answer.

“I, I have to go.” I hang up on him. He keeps calling me but I don’t have the strength to answer.

When Aiden is old enough to understand he will hate me. He is never going to forgive me. And Brody died hating me. He died hating me, I keep repeating the words to myself but they aren’t sinking in fully. Losing my mother was fucking hard, but this is unbearable. Marla was in pain she was ready to go. But Brody he had his whole life ahead of him. He is supposed to be meeting his son for the first time, not being pulled from a ditch. How will I ever tell Aiden about this? He will never understand. Hell I don’t understand. I just want hit something or someone. I want to break something.

I shakily pick my self up from the floor. I start breaking anything within my reach. Dishes, mugs, pictures, “NONE OF IT MATTERS!” I cry out with all I have.

I slide back down to the floor sitting in the shards. Flecks of broken glass are digging into my skin, but I can’t feel the pain.

My phone won’t stop chiming. “Shut the fuck up!” I slam my phone down on the floor. I’m not sure how long I sit here in the floor crying and screaming at myself. I will never be able to make things right now. “It’s not fair, it’s not fair!”

I feel a gentle squeeze on my knee. I look up to see Turner crouched in front of me.

“Pumpkin, I am going to pick you up and set you on the table. Then I am going to look at your legs, you’re bleeding.” Standing up slowly he cradles me in his arms. The glass is crunching beneath his feet. Gently he seats me on the dinning room table.

“Don’t move,” I do as he instructs, I don’t have the energy to do anything right now.

“Where is Aiden?”

“Caroline has him.”

“Here’s what’s going to happen. First I am going to clean the cuts on your legs. Secondly, you are coming home with me. I don’t want you to be alone right now. Third I am going to call Caroline and see if she can keep Aiden overnight, and if she can’t I will take care of him.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because I care about you and there is nowhere I would rather be. Look at me Darby.” He firmly cups my chin and holds my red strained eyes captive.

“You matter to me, and right now I want to be here for you. Let me be here right now, for you. Let me take care of you.”

“I don’t deserve your kindness Turner. But I am selfish, so fucking selfish! I do need you, right now.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Things might be awkward between us, but I still love you.”

Turner just said he loves me, I am sure he doesn’t mean it in the way I want him to mean it, but it is something to hang onto right now.

He leaves me sitting on the words he just spoke. He returns a few minutes later with antiseptic and tweezers in his hands.

He lifts the heel of my foot and brings it to rest on his shoulder. There is nothing sexual in his movements, he just simply taking care of me. He pours the antiseptic over the tweezers and holds them in the light making sure they are clean. “This may sing a bit. But I need to remove the shards from your legs.” Carefully he removes each piece on by one. A low whimper escapes my throat, it stings but it isn’t unbearable. I deserve pain far worse than this. He repeats the motions now with my other leg, quietly and tentatively.

The way he is looking at me and treating me is as if he fears I may break, like a porcelain doll.

Turner hands me my purse and my phone and orders me to go wait in his car. He appears a few minutes later holding two bags in his hands. I watch as he locks the door and sets one of the bags on Caroline’s porch.

Sliding into the driver’s side he places the other bag on the floorboard beneath my feet.

“I brought some of your things. I thought you might want some extra clothes. I left some of Aiden’s things with Caroline”

“Thank you.” He places a reassuring hand on my knee and gives it a small squeeze.

How can he be so caring and so giving after the way I treated him. He knows most of the situation with Brody and yet here he is being my rock.