Beautiful Liar (12 page)

              We sat at a small table in the furthest back of the dimly lit restaurant. It was a full house, so Ronnie and I had no choice but to sit elbow to elbow and knee cap to kneecap on cushioned chairs. It was perfect.

              "Which flavor do you want?" I pointed to the hookah menu.

              Ronnie shook his head. "I'll pass on the hookah."

              I raised my eyebrow and threw my neck back. "No you're not!" I handed our server the menu. "We're having the Passion Kiss flavor."

              Ronnie smirked and cut his eyes to me. "You're a pistol. I'll have to watch out for you. I can tell."

              I smiled. "I'm so good! I promise you. Relax, it's just a hookah. Very little tobacco. It's leisure."

              After the waitress returned with our mouthpieces and hooked us up, she took our orders and disappeared through the throng of people. I puckered my lips on the tip and exhaled through my nostrils.

              "Loosen up a little, Pastor." I motioned for him to take the hose, and to my surprise, he actually went for it.

              The way he allowed the thick cloud of smoke to escape from his mouth, and then enter into his nose and back out of his mouth, made it obvious that he was no novice. I almost lost it!
No wonder he had no problem dating a former COKEHEAD!

              The pastor laughed. "Close your mouth."

              I didn't notice that it was hanging open.

              "I never said I didn't smoke hookahs. I said that I will pass.” He did the mouth and nose trick again. “And, I do cigars every once a while."

              I snatched the hose. “Show off!"

              He threw his head back and laughed. That youthful smile melted me. His hand fell on my kneecap for a few seconds. After he moved it, I wondered if he’d done it purposely. I couldn't read him. He wasn't a direct and in your face type of guy like Silas. If anything, I probably had to initiate all the flirtatious moves and conversations.

              I took a drag and exhaled, "So be honest. How serious are you and Carmen? You love her?"

              "Depends. Which love?”

              "Romantic, she's-the-one kind of love..."

              Ronnie stroked his goatee, and answered, "We're taking it day by day."

              I passed him the hose and watched him blow.
God, he’s so sexy.

              He said, "You know, Marley always talked about you. She said you were good people."

              "She's a good mentee."

              "Mentee...?"

              "I'm a good influence on the kid."

              "Kid?"

              "I'm about ten years older than Marley, Pastor. Anything she's experiencing now, I've already done that."

              "Is that so?"

              "Except for marriage... I haven't done that yet. I was close to it, but not quite."

              He laughed, "You know, you're interesting Nola."

             
Now, back to Carmen
"So if Carmen and I wanted to hang out with you on the same day, who are you willing to see?"

              Ronnie said sarcastically, "Unrelenting eh… "

              Our server placed our entrées on the small round table. Ronnie grabbed my hand, the unburned one, bowed his head, and said grace. Afterwards, he gave my hand a firm squeeze and said “Amen.”

              "Amen… So, which will it be?"

              Ronnie readjusted himself and then he stroked his head, looking as if he was in deep thought. He squinted his eyes and looked at me. "Would you want to spend time with me, or is this hypothetical?"

              "Choose."

              He eventually said, "I’d go with whoever asked first."

              Yeah, he’s definitely not feeling that Carmen chick all the way. I tried to hide my smile behind the hookah mouthpiece.

***

              On the way back to the car, an elderly woman who looked to be in her late sixties or early seventies approached Ronnie. I think she powered walk to catch up to us before tapping him on the shoulder.

              “Pastor Robinson!” She had a doggy bag in her hand, and she wore a flared denim skirt. “I thought that was you. I spotted you from inside, but I wasn’t sure.”

              Ronnie hugged the woman and kissed her on the cheek in the same way he had once kissed me.

              With a single raised eyebrow, she brought her attention to me. “And, who is this little young lady? She doesn’t look at all like Marley. Is this your niece?”

              “This is a friend of Marley’s.”

              I chimed in, “Her sorority sister.” I extended my hand to shake. “My name is Nola, and you are?”

              The hag rejected my extended hand and instead made a gurgling noise. Then she murmured, “Pleasure.”             

              Ronnie spoke up. “This is Sister Bernadine Walker. She’s on the usher board.”

              The old lady adjusted the straps of her 1997 looking Coach Bag and huffed. “Well. I should be going.”

              Ronnie followed Bernadine to help her into her Cadillac and swiftly returned.

              I pointed in the direction of her exiting car. “That’s the reason why I don’t go to church… Church folks are so mean and unwelcoming… just dag on judgmental.”

              “Not all.” Ronnie opened the door on the passenger side of his cherry red Lincoln SUV. I felt his eyes fixated on me while I climbed into his vehicle. He leaned on the door and said, “Listen, I want you to remember something…”

              I looked up at him.

              “Another person’s actions shouldn’t keep you away from God’s glory. You deserve to experience Him in your life just as any of us. We’re all sinners, and in God’s eyes. We’re all the same. No one person on this Earth is better. Just remember that.”

              I blushed inwardly. “I will.”

              “Look at you, Girl. You got me preaching on my day off.” Ronnie smiled, and for the first time, I noticed that his top lip was slightly juicer than the bottom.

              “Are you visiting us again, tomorrow?” his lips asked.

              My eyes never left them as I nodded. “Of course.”

              On Sunday morning, Carmen was sitting on the front pew next to Marley and her geeky fiancé Greg. Two things were wrong with that picture.
One
, Marley didn't even bother inviting me church, so I came alone. And I was late because I couldn't remember what time service started.
Two
, Carmen had on the same colors I wore—yellow and cream. At least my lay looked much better than hers. Her stripe maxi dress had nothing on my chevron knee-length dress, matching fascinator, and cream lace gloves.

              I sat on the other side of Carmen, too. Yup. Sure did. She and Marley both did a double take when I sat down. Pastor however, smiled slightly from the pulpit and nodded a bit to acknowledge my presence. After pastor preached, the part came to invite us lost souls into a life with Jesus Christ. I rose quickly to reach the pastor’s extended hand. A small card seemed to have fallen from my purse on the way to the front, and I watched from the corners of my eye as Carmen stepped on it with her $29.99 shoe and slid it closer to her.

              I stood in the front of the church with five other people. Marley had her hands pressed together with a proud smile. Greg had his lips tucked in, and his eyes didn't seem to be focus on anything in particular. He looked like he would rather be somewhere else. Carmen's mouth was so tight, and her eyes were so bulged that she looked like she was trying to keep her inner ratchet from escaping.

              "Is there another? Is there another? "Pastor Ronnie paced the alter with his arms extended.

I scanned the sanctuary and made eye contact with Silas and his shrunken shirt. He smile and nodded at me. After a few minutes had gone by and no one else joined us at the front, Pastor said, "Let’s give God some praise." He turned to give us each a hug while the church erupted with claps and shouting. When he got to me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and lingered long enough to get Carmen's blood to boil.

              Afterwards, a man and woman dressed in nappy navy blue suits lead us to a small room, sat us at a long table, and passed us each a booklet labeled "Welcome Packet." While everyone went around the table introducing themselves, I kept my eyes on the glass doors waiting for Ronnie to walk in at any moment. He was supposed to walk in at any moment, right?

              "What about you, Sister?" The woman with the navy suit smiled. The brass label on her jacket read,
Deaconess Michelle Camper
.

              I didn't realize it was my turn to speak so I asked, "What about me?"

              Deaconess Michelle Camper never stopped smiling. "Tell us a little bit about yourself."

              "Oh!" I sat up straight and projected my voice, as a Leading Lady should. "My name is Nola. I'm in Real Estate, and actually, I'm a good friend of Pastor Ronnie Robinson.”

              Everyone nodded and looked impressed.

              "Ok great! We love it when friends of the church family join! So, tell us, did you join for Salvation?”

              I chuckled. "I'm not sure. I remember going to church a couple of times when I was younger, but I don't remember anybody splashing Holy Water on my forehead."

              I cut my eyes to a young girl who snickered and whispered something under their breath.

              The Deaconess nodded slowly. "Ok, well let me explain the process to you. The salvation prayer that you just recited was the first step in your walk with Christ. The Baptism ceremony is something we also do, and you will also begin new membership classes—Those are four weeks. After that, you will receive the Right Hand of Fellowship, which is how you all will be officially welcomed in. And finally you will take your spiritual gifts class to see how God can use you within the church."

              I tapped my lace-gloved fingers along the table and tilted my head to the side. "Deaconess Michelle Camper, that sounds like a lot of work to join a church. Is there a way we could shorten those four weeks to two since I'm personal friends with the Pastor?”

              She laughed, "Our walk with Christ IS work, Sister."

***

              When we left the conference room, the church lobby was almost empty. Pretty much the entire congregation was gone except for a few stragglers. I approached two teens and asked them if Pastor Ronnie Robinson had already left. They shrugged their shoulders. I asked them where his office was and they pointed in the direction of a hallway. The hall that led to his office was empty, and I began to feel like I wasted time. I didn't care to join the church and do all that class stuff, I just wanted a one-on-one with Ronnie but on his level - a church level. Had I known they would have pulled me away from him, I wouldn't have gone up front to join.

              Luckily, the office door was wide open. I entered the room, and faced a secretary sitting at her desk. She was the only occupant of that space. There was another door to the left of her. Since the secretary was looking down into the desk drawer, I walked right up to the ajar door and pushed it open.

              Carmen was sitting in a chair facing Ronnie’s desk, and his eyes lit up when he saw me. "Nola! What's up?"

              "Great sermon today, Pastor," I said with the sweetest smile.

              "Thank you, Nola, and thank you for joining the church family." He stood up and walked around the desk to give me a hug, along with his famous pastor’s kiss to the cheek.

              Carmen could have broken her neck with how quickly she turned around. "Oh, you just missed Marley," she had the audacity to say.

              Although the words clung to the corners of my mouth, for dear life, I managed to spit them out anyway. "Good morning Ms. Carmen.”

              She flashed half a smile and turned her back.

              As the Pastor made his way back to the desk, I scanned his office. Plaques, certifications for achievements, pictures of pastors prior to him, and a couple of pictures of him and Marley were hanging on his walls. Behind him was a large window that allowed him to view the parking lot. I spotted my car and wondered if he saw me whisk off with Silas last week. Then, I wondered how thrilling it would be to have the pastor bend me over in front of that window. Fogging up the glass with our passion, while looking out at everyone, yet no one being able to look at us.

              “How are your fingers?" He broke me from my fantasy.

              I pulled off my glove and showed him my fingertips. "Unattractive right?"

              Carmen looked at them and scrunched her face. It took everything within me not to knock the back of her head with my brand new and still wrapped in plastic bible.

              Ronnie said, "They'll heal in time… So what’s up?”

              I had to think fast. “I wanted to talk about the membership packet… but it’s private.”

              Carmen reluctantly excused herself. She walked over to Ronnie, kissed his head, and picked up a purse that looked like it came from Boscov’s. I snuggled my booty where she sat and placed my designer purse on Ronnie's desk.

              "She's so mean and unapproachable. You know Marley can't stand her?"

              Ronnie grimaced, "Marley told me she loved her."

              "Marley doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She can't stand that woman. She told me the other day. I don't blame her, especially after that coffee shop incident."

              "She should have just told me..."

              "You know your daughter. She isn't outspoken like that, but she tells me
everything
. She vented that Carmen seemed wrong for you. I believe it…"

              "You believe it…"

              "You’re warm, compassionate, and gentle, and she's tough as nails. She doesn't like to smile, and she’s filled with animosity. I sat next to her to make amends, and she completely rejected me. You saw it! I know you saw!"

              Ronnie rubbed his head and sighed, "I need to speak to my child."

              "Yeah sometimes our loved ones see what we don't see. Or, in your case,
DO SEE
, but in too much denial to face it."

              "What does that mean?"

              "You don't even like Carmen. You just need a reason to get out of it without looking bad."

              "Come again?"

              I leaned in closer and spoke slowly, "You... don't... like... her."

              Ronnie chuckled and leaned back in his seat. He folded his arms right below his orange striped tie. "And, what makes you say that, Nola?"

              "The way you look at her. There’s no spark, no fire. It’s nothing like how I’ve caught you looking at me."

              Ronnie sat up and adjusted himself in his seat. He glanced down at his navy and silver Movado watch. "I need to wrap up. What about the packet?"

              I almost forgot about the excuse I used to get Carmen out of his office. "I don't think I'm cut out for the Christian life. I'm so flawed. Sometimes I curse, sometimes I drink wine, and sometimes my temper gets the best of me. I thought about it, and I'm not gonna join and do that whole four weeks of classes thing."

              "Nola, listen. Nobody is perfect. We all have our battles with our sinful selves. That’s why we need Christ. Not because we’re perfect, but because we’re imperfect. We need Him to help keep us righteous. Don't be discouraged, you can do it. Temper, wine, and curse-words is nothing compared to the sins most of us struggle with. If we can do this, you can do this." Pastor spoke smoothly and compassionately.

              I asked, "What are you struggles?"

              Ronnie laughed. "That's a whole 'nother time and place to talk about that. We'll discuss it some other time. Just remember, this walk with Christ, it ain’t easy. There will be tests, there be trails, and there will be setbacks. Nevertheless, trust God and trust the process. It ain't easy, but living with Christ is enjoyable. Trust me. I'm excited for you, and so is Marley. She was waiting for you, but she and Greg had to run a few errands before meeting me for brunch." Ronnie glanced at watch again. "It looks like it'll be dinner."

              He began rustling with his papers on his desk.

              I said dryly, "A couples’ dinner this time. How sweet..." I grabbed my purse and stood up.

              Looking down at his papers, he said, “Actually, I’ll be the third wheel. Carmen has to head home to get ready for work.”

***

              I shamelessly followed Carmen home. I waited for her and Ronnie to walk out of the church together, and for her to pull out of the parking lot. I tailed about three cars behind her red Toyota Camry all the way to the Northeast section of Philadelphia. I parked across the road once she pulled into a driveway of a surprisingly nice two-story home located in a cul-de-sac. I snacked on M&Ms and a Pepsi while I watched a young guy with a chest covered in tattoos open the door for her. She was also greeted by a Rottweiler. She was in the house for about twenty minutes and then out again wearing scrubs.

              I scurried across the street when she pulled off. I knocked on her door. The guy with the tattoos and their horse-height dog came to the door.

              "Hi, is Carmen here?"

The guy stepped outside and looked to the left and then the right. "Uhh, you just missed her."

              "Aw, man. Are you her boyfriend?"

              The guy smirked, "Nah I'm her son, you cute. Who you?"

              I extended my hand for him to shake. "I'm Morgan from the women’s ministry at church. I wanted to get her to sign up for our retreat, but she didn't come today. I’ll come back tomorrow." I turned to walk away, but then I stopped.               “Listen, I’m embarrassed to ask this, but can I use your bathroom?"

              “Yeah. You good, Ma... Come on.” Her son stepped to the side. “And, don’t worry about him. He cool,” he said referring to their beast.

              A whiff of marijuana hit me as soon as I stepped in their living room. It was so strong that I was surprised I didn't immediately catch contact. 

              "So you a church girl, huh? I didn't know they made them as pretty as you. I guess I need to start going!" The guy salivated as his eyes slowly crawled from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes. 

              Although I felt disgusted, I smiled and said, "You're not too bad yourself. Those tattoos... Mmmm sexy. I would take your number but your mom would wonder how I met you."

              He shrugged, "So. She cool. She won't care."

              “I don't want anybody in my business, if you know what mean. I tell you what… don't even mention I was here."

              He nodded his head rapidly, looking like a toddler who was offered a chocolate chip cookie but only if he behaved. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll work. That'll work."

              I stored some random number in his phone. After he directed me upstairs to their bathroom, he and his dog sat on the couch and resumed whatever video game he was playing.