Beautiful Illusions (12 page)

I was looking at him, thinking that he was going to leave at any moment
. Why stick around, when you just poured your heart out, and the girl isn’t responding?  The thing of it was, there was a part of me, buried deep within that brick wall, that wanted to confess that I loved him too.

But I couldn’t admit that to myself, so I really couldn’t admit it to him.

He stood up.
Well, that’s it, you chased him off once more.
He put out his hand for me to grab, which I did. Standing, he hugged me tight, putting his hand on my hair. I could smell his aftershave, and his breath that smelled vaguely of Scotch and beer. Once again, my breath caught, and then started coming back more slowly than before.

Then we were kissing, slowly, tenderly at first
. It was difficult to kiss him standing up, as he was so much taller than myself, so we ended up kissing back on the couch. He kissed my neck, my shoulders, his sensuous lips running lightly, from one shoulder to the other, then on my cheeks, then kissing me on the lips again. I ran my hands along his back, feeling his rock hard muscles. He was laying on top of me, so I could feel his erection through his pants again, but, this time, he did not attempt to move so that his erection was no longer in contact with my body. I was breathing, faster and faster. I could hear my heart, or maybe it was his. It might have been both of our hearts, beating together, faster and faster.

Somehow, I got his shirt off
. I gasped a little at the sight of him. Every muscle rippled in his chest and abs, and his arms were large and lean. He resembled a swimmer - long, lean, cut and hairless.
This isn’t happening. This perfect specimen is not in my living room.
But it was happening. I was aware that I was breathing very hard. Now my shirt was off. He was kissing my stomach and my braless breasts, working his way up to my neck again. He gently touched my breasts while he kissed my lips hungrily. His erection was growing ever harder by the second, but he was patient. I, however, was not. I unbuckled his belt, and unzipped his pants. I was stunned at the size of his erection, now making a huge tent of his boxer-briefs. I sighed.
This might hurt, especially because you haven’t had sex since….well, let’s just say it had been a long time. Except the first time with Ryan, but you don’t remember it, so that doesn’t count.

He was just down to his socks and boxer-briefs at this point, his massive erection still pitching a tent. I took off my own jeans, as he seemed hesitant to do this
.
Oh, god, what about protection?
We were being careless, but I was on the pill. We never discussed this before, but he whispered in my ear “Are you using anything?”

I nodded
.

Both of us got completely naked, but Ryan did not enter me for a long time
. He was too busy exploring every inch of my body with his tongue. I gasped when his tongue reached my sweet spot. He was so gentle, using long strokes of his tongue, flicking it in and out of my genitals. Then, when I was just about to climax, he switched to slowly licking the inside of my thighs.
How did he know I love that?
I thought as I came to a powerful climax. For an hour, he kissed me - kissing my mouth, kissing my breasts, my legs, my lady parts, then my mouth again. I could feel his bare erection just outside the opening, while he lay on top of me, kissing me all over.

I was being driven crazy. I wanted him to enter me. He was so close
. I could literally feel him, as I have felt him for the past hour. Then, he finally entered me slowly. I gasped. He was huge, so he had to go very slow. This didn’t seem to be a problem for him, though. He slowly, slowly grinded in and out, kissing my lips while he thrust. It hurt a little, because it had been so long for me with anyone, let alone with somebody as large as him. However, we had so much foreplay that I was ready to receive him. My breathing was so heavy I felt that I would pass out, but, instead, I came to a powerful climax, more powerful than anything that I have ever experienced before.

He was whispering in my ear “You’re so beautiful, so sexy. I love you.
” Then he was gently nibbling on my ear while he thrust slowly in and out, his hands exploring my breasts once again.

After about an hour of his slow, rhythmic thrusting, he began to go faster and faster until he came inside me
. I could feel his legs shaking on top of me. My own legs were shaking as well. I felt lightheaded. He lay on top of me, clutching his arms around my neck, breathing rapidly. I could still hear his heart pounding. Or maybe it was mine?  My arms were shaking, badly. I needed a drink of water, but he was still on top of me.

Then he was kissing my lips again, passionately
. I moved onto my side, and we lay, side by side, on the narrow couch. He was behind me, stroking my hair, kissing my neck, and my back. I turned my head because he gently put his hands on my cheeks so that my head would turn, and he kissed me passionately, his body still behind me. In what seemed like no time at all, he was hard again. He entered me from behind, slowly thrusting. He whispered “I want to make this last a long time,” so he slowed his thrusting down still further. Slowly, slowly he slipped his amazingly hard cock in and out. Because of all the lovemaking from earlier, I received him much better than before, so there was no pain at all this time when he entered me. He wrapped his arm around my neck from behind as he thrust.

As I said before, it was painful at first the first time we made love, simply because of his size. Now, his size was perfect, because I was opened up to him completely and I was wetter than I’d ever been in my life
. He whispered “I want to make love to you all night.” These words turned me on further, and I climaxed for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night.

This time he thrust, slowly, for an over an hour, kissing me passionately on the mouth through most of it
. When he came for the second time, I was shaking even worse than before, and I really needed a drink of water.

He was stroking my hair, and staring at me
. I asked “hey, are you thirsty?”

“Dying, actually.”

We were in an uncomfortable position right now, both of us sideways on my small couch. Ryan fell off the couch, onto the floor. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” I exclaimed, but he was laughing. I noticed, for the first time, that he still had his socks on.

“I guess I got carried away,” he said, gesturing to his socks
. Which made both of us laugh.

I got up to make both of us a drink of lemonade
. When I came in, Ryan had laid a blanket on the floor, just in front of my fireplace. He patted it lightly, and I laid down next to him.

While both of us drank our lemonade, Ryan was the first to talk. “That was nice,” he said
.

I took a deep breath. “Very nice.” I felt tongue-tied, as did he, apparently.

He continued to stroke my body, leisurely with his hands. He became hard again, and he laid on his back. I climbed on top of him, kissing his torso lightly until I came to his erection. I gently licked the top of his penis with my tongue. His size was going to be challenging for this, as well, but I managed to get my mouth around him, sucking him while my tongue simultaneously caressed his shaft. He moaned and breathed harder. He started to thrust a little in my mouth, but I put my hands on his thighs to stop him. I wanted to be in complete control of this. I slowly sucked and licked, grabbing his balls lightly with my hands. My tongue gently explored his balls, then gently explored his sphincter. He groaned. “No girl has ever done that,” he managed. “Please don’t stop.” I didn’t stop, putting my tongue inside his sphincter, then slipped one of my fingers in there. I returned to sucking his massive erection while my fingers explored inside his sphincter. This was too much for him, and he climaxed inside my mouth. There wasn’t much of an explosion, however, as he had come inside me twice in the past few hours, which means that it also didn’t taste bad.

I could feel his breathing rapidly
. I laid down beside him. He lay quietly, breathing hard for about five minutes. Then he said “I’ve never had a woman do that to me. That was amazing!”

I admitted to myself that it wasn’t my first time doing that. I had some fairly kinky boyfriends in my past, and this was just one thing that they liked to have
done to them.

“Well, I have some tricks up my sleeve.” I laughed
. I was feeling giddy, like on a sugar high. My limbs were still shaking, worse than ever now.

He laughed, too, then kissed me passionately again
.
This guy is the Energizer Bunny
I thought, as I felt him growing once more. Again, he was inside of me, thrusting harder this time. I could take it now. I would not have been able to take the aggressive thrusting earlier, but I was so swollen inside I could take anything. This time, it was more animalistic sex, less tender kissing and stroking and looking into each other’s eyes. He rocked his body so that I was on top of him, and I rode him hard for a long time. It was going to take some time for him to cum this time, because it would be his fourth time that night.

And, indeed it did
. Even with the animalistic nature of this particular encounter, he stayed hard inside me for well over an hour. I stayed lubricated that whole time - I was so turned on by everything. Him, his feelings for me, his vulnerability, his hotness – everything became like a mental salad for me, and I had never been so turned on in my life.

This actually did go on all night. We made love a total of seven times that night, and, when the morning came, we were both exhausted and spent
. We finally fell asleep around seven the next morning, his arms wrapped around me from behind, both of us still lying on the blanket on the floor.

It was Sunday, and, when we woke up at 2 in the afternoon, I realized that he would have to leave
soon. As much as I wanted to lie there forever, making love, he did have a job to go to the next day. But, he still wasn’t finished with me. Immediately upon waking, he had an erection, then entered me without foreplay. Somehow this was ok, even though I should have been so sore that making love again would be impossible. He lasted around 45 minutes this time, one of our shorter love-making sessions.

After we made love that afternoon, both of us were starving
. I didn’t feel like cooking, and there was nothing really that I could have cooked right then anyhow, as I hadn’t been to the store in awhile. So we got in his Porsche, and searched for a restaurant. We ended up at Sullivan’s Steakhouse, which was a trendy, yet comfortable, restaurant with a large patio and a hip, suburban business-type crowd. I settled in with my extra dirty martini. He tried a Tanqueray and tonic.

I didn’t even notice the gawking this time. Well, I noticed it, but it didn’t bother me as much as it did before
. Ryan was still focused on me completely.

He smiled shyly. “You were, uh, amazing last night.”

“And this morning, and this afternoon,” I laughed. He smiled discreetly.

“I really wasn’t prepared for that when I came over.”

“Yeah, it took me by surprise, too.”

He suddenly looked pensive. “Uh, I said some things yesterday when I came over…”

Here we go. He’s going to walk them back and tell me to disregard them.
I actually hoped that he
would
walk them back and disregard them. But, no – he continued. “You didn’t really respond to what I said.”

He’s going to pin me down yet
.
“Well, I uh. I guess I’m just cautious. I’ve been hurt. A lot. I have a hard time believing things.”
And there is some mysterious person named Nick in your life. Please tell me about that.
I continued. “I’ve heard men tell me that before, and I’ve also heard empty marriage promises before. It’s difficult when you are in the dating world to know if somebody is being sincere, or if they are really just a tool. And you are just so magnetic, handsome and intelligent. You can have anybody you want. Anybody you want.”

“I understand that,” he said.
“Really, I do. I just want you to know that I’m different than the guys that you have known in the past. I’m really crazy about you.”

I just shook my head. “
What are the words to that song about the word that isn’t said enough, yet also too much?”

“Those three words are said too much, yet not enough,” he sang from
Chasing Cars.

“Right. You have a great voice, by the way.”

“Thanks,” he said without enthusiasm.

“Anyhow, I have a hard time believing things. Blame your sleazy brethren for using the love word to get women into bed.” I was trying to make a joke, but it was falling flat.

“I said something else to you.”

Oh, now he wants me to elaborate on how I feel about his wanting to marry me. This might be slightly trickier.

“Yes, well, let’s see. I guess I would have to say that if we go out for a long time, like a year, and you really get to know me and I get to know you, than we can talk seriously about…that other thing.” There, that should cover it.

Again, other men had ruined that talk for me as well. I had heard the empty marriage promises, early on in the relationship, too many times. I was wise to that game, too
.