Beautiful Broken Mess (7 page)

“I told
you
we shouldn’t have gone to Texas, just so you could see what a loser I actually was!”

“Hey, I wanted to see where my girl grew up,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

I still can’t believe he convinced me to go all the way back to Texas with him for winter break this past year. He’s been asking to go since we moved in together my freshman year because he wanted to see where I came from. I never had any desire to go back and I still don’t understand what he wanted to see.

It’s not like I have any good memories from there. Just two pissed off people I left behind and that’s only because I took Chuck, not because they miss me. I like to think of taking Chuck as my way of sticking it to my dad without actually having to see him. Besides, Chuck’s happier here anyways, since he never has to scrounge for food with me.

JACE
- Winter break, eight months ago…

Jax and I have only been living in California for about five months now, and I already miss Texas like crazy. As we drive through our little town, I think about how this place is home to me. California is fun, but I’m ready to be done with school so I can get back here.

I’ve been looking forward to our trip home for a while, but more so in the past couple of weeks. Cole’s always locked away with Quinn and Jaxon is so far up Em’s ass I don’t even recognize him. I love Em to death, and she is by far the best thing that’s happened to Jax, but damn I’m jealous.

I want a girl riding next to me in my truck or on the back of my motorcycle. I want a girl to just lie around in bed with me for hours on a Saturday. When I see the way my brother looks at Em when she’s not paying attention, I want that. Yeah, I’m in college and I should be out there living it up with a different notch on my belt every weekend, but that’s just not me.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten we’re getting you laid on this trip, man,” Jax interrupts my thoughts.

“I think I can take care of myself,” I reply, while watching the shops pass by out the window.

“Nah, you’re a cranky bastard. It’s happening,” Cole says from the backseat. “We should hit up that party tonight at Hunter’s lake house.”

“Or we could just find you a chick right now,” Jax challenges, pointing to the back of a brunette walking down the street.

“You mean the girl with another dude’s arm wrapped around her?” I ask.

I can’t help staring at her ass though, and there is something about a set of long legs on a girl. I’m tall, so I like my girls tall as well. All that bending over shit that Jax and Cole do with their girlfriends is not for me. I’d still like to be able to stand up straight when I’m seventy.

“She is pretty hot though, I’ll give you that.”

As we drive past them, my eyes are glued to her. “Fuck, isn’t that Audrey?” Cole asks.
Yes, it sure is.

“Who the hell is she with?” I growl. “Have you ever seen him before?” My head is still turned and my eyes can’t seem to stop looking at her.

“I don’t give a damn who she’s with,” Jaxon states in an annoyed tone and continues driving forward. Meanwhile, all I want him to do is turn the fuck around.

“She looks...good…” I try to say only to myself. When she’s too far away to see, I turn back around in my seat. I notice that Cole’s too quiet, and when I glance back at him, I see that he’s studying me. Inquisitive bastard.

~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours into the party, Jaxon’s being a pussy and leaving because he needs to call Em. Cole is already passed out drunk on one of the couches, which just seems like bad news for him. I should probably call Quinn later and tell her that he’s okay. We ended up taking two cars because I figured at least one of them would need to report in to their ball and chain.

Now that I’m alone, all I can think about is the dude with his arm around Audrey earlier today. Jax and I are not small, by any means. Thankfully, we got our build from our dad’s side of the family. When my dad died, he was thirty-five years old, but he was six-three and could still bench-press double his weight.

That guy with Audrey today looked threatening. Not saying I couldn’t take him; I’ve had plenty of experience my whole life fighting with Jax. He’s probably tried every move in the book on me, and I’ve always been able to counter them. And why the hell am I thinking about taking out Audrey’s boyfriend anyway?

For the first time in years, I consider getting wasted. I went drinking with Jax and Cole a few times when I was seventeen but hated the stuff, so I haven’t touched any alcohol since. However, it seems to help others when they want to forget hostile thoughts, and Audrey’s boyfriend is definitely making me feel aggressive tonight.

She seems to be a recurring weak point for me. When she came out to California to see Jax a couple of months ago, it took everything inside of me to stay away from her. I knew that if I let myself even stop to talk, I would end up grabbing her and holding her hostage in my room. Then I would definitely have some uncomfortable explaining to do.

A bubbly, short blonde stumbles up next to me with two plastic cups in her hands. She tries to mesh her body up close to mine, but her head only reaches my chest.

“Here handsome, I got you a drink,” she says, with her face tilted all the way back so she can look me in the eyes. She smiles and I can see that she’s already wasted. I grab the drink and without looking to see what it is, I put the cup to my lips and swallow the contents inside. Shit, this is terrible. It’s a mixture of liquor that someone tried to disguise with Coke, but it’s still fucking awful. With my mouth closed, I cough down the burn. This crap is poison, but the spacey, warm feeling that follows entices me to grab another. And another.

Soon after, I grab the blonde’s hand and drag her out to the bonfire near the lake. Hunter has his truck parked down by the dock with all of his doors open and the music blasting. She leads me into the middle of the crowd of dancing couples and I spin her around so her back is against my chest.

I’m impressed by how fast the alcohol reaches my system, and I guess this would be the one time in my life when I’m considered a lightweight. Mentally, I’m scanning through my textbooks, trying to determine my blood alcohol concentration level, but it’s all a jumble. All I know is that I want to go one way, but my body starts shifting another. This blonde chick is grinding against me and it feels fucking great. Right before I grab her to spin her around, I send out a silent ‘thank you’ for the fact that Jax left and Cole is out for the night.

She turns on her boot heel and looks up into my eyes. I cup her face haphazardly and can practically taste her arousal on my tongue already. She wants me. She continues dancing in front of my hips with her hands on my chest, while I scan the area for a place we can hide together. This is going to be quick.

Looking over Blondie’s shoulder, I suddenly catch the stare of big, brown eyes. I try to make myself focus on anything but those long, tan legs under her short, red sundress. It’s too late though. She notices that I’ve spotted her, and she reaches out to snatch a beer from some guy’s hand. Without removing eye contact, she places the glass bottle against the sides of her face, as if she’s trying to cool off from being overheated. She can’t turn away and neither can I. We both want each other. We always have, and I just might be drunk enough to finally let myself indulge.

I finally notice that the guy next to her is the ripped-up dude she was walking through town with earlier today. When he clutches her chin in one hand, turns her to face him, and shakes his head while mouthing the word ‘no’ at her, I start shoving my way through the dancing bodies. If she wants me, even if it’s only for tonight, then he’s going to fucking step aside.

I continue walking until I’m standing with my toes touching hers. I hope she doesn’t have any personal boundaries because I don’t plan on recognizing them tonight. I can see the cold condensation on the beer bottle that she now has smashed against her chest. She rolls it across, leaving a wet trail in its wake. I can’t stop myself from reaching out and touching the chilled skin. When my fingertips graze across the area underneath her collarbone, her lungs swiftly fill with air.

Her boyfriend smoothly pushes me aside to stand directly in front of her. My body is intoxicated enough to stumble away, otherwise that shouldn’t have been so easy for him. He’s a shitty-ass boyfriend, if you ask me. I damn sure wouldn’t allow some guy to put his hands on her if she were mine.

“Doll, this is not a good idea,” he says to her in a warning tone.

“Lane, I’m a big girl,” she replies back to him kindly.

I’m already done with this little get-together of theirs. Thankfully, Lane shrugs and steps away. I’m finally looking down at her beautiful face again. She’s just as stunning as she was three years ago on the sidewalk outside of the bookstore. Her hair is a little longer and I’ve never seen her dressed up all sexy, but she’s still my same girl from that day. Except she never was my girl…
don’t forget that, Jace
.

She cocks her head and studies me with curiosity. She’s thinking hard about something and looks so damn cute doing it.

“Why are you drinking?” she questions. I start to wonder how drunk I actually am if she can tell even though I’m no longer holding a cup.

I smirk at her query and reply, “I thought I’d try something new tonight.” She catches my double entendre and I love watching her surprised mouth open and shut. I know another way I would love to see those lips move like that. She starts to grimace, but before I can ask what’s bothering her, I feel warm hands come up from behind and glide across my abs. Shit, the blonde.

“Come on, sweetheart. Trust me, you don’t want in the middle of
that
crazy,” Lane says, while grabbing Blondie’s hand. When she gets a good look at him, her eyes light up and she follows after him like a damn cat in heat. Fuck, I don’t know whether to fist bump him for being the best damn wingman ever, or slug him for being the shittiest boyfriend known to mankind.

I stalk forward, causing Audrey to reverse slowly. After fifteen steps or so, she backs into a large tree trunk. My hands hit the tree on either side of her face.

“It’s not fair that every time I see you, you look even more delicious than the last,” I whisper into her neck.

“I don’t think you realize what you’re doing right now.” She shivers under my lips.

“Why did things have to get so screwed up?” I ask, dragging my lips across hers. “Do you think we would be together if you hadn’t run into Jax?” I know I’ll regret this tomorrow, but I really don’t care right now.

“I can’t let myself think about things like that, Jace.” Her words are said like a prayer.

“Do you still think about me?” I whisper, while running a finger up the inside of her bare leg.

I feel her tremble before she admits, “Every single day.”

“Well, at least I’m not alone.”

My lips graze across her soft, plump ones. Her eyelashes flutter and she relaxes into me with closed eyes. I run my tongue across her bottom lip lazily before giving the same treatment to the top one. Her breath hitches when I lean back a fraction, and then ever so slowly I move in. I want to drag this out. I never got my moment with her so tonight I want to take my time.

Our lips finally touch and she moans with pleasure. My fingers drag upwards from the back of her neck into her loose curls and I pull her in tighter. Her hands brace themselves on my chest. Gradually, the slow, lazy kiss becomes heated and needy.

When her hands glide down and skim across my waist, I pull back instantly. Grabbing her hand, I quickly start dragging her off toward the driveway. We both need to get out of here before any other thoughts enter my head. When we finally reach Jax’s black ‘67 Camaro, I realize she’s tugging on my hand.

“Jace, where are we going?”

“I need you without an audience.” I try to unlock the passenger door for her, but I can’t seem to get this tiny ass key into an even smaller lock. “Fuck! I can’t work this thing.”

She reaches out and wraps her little hand around mine, taking the key from me. “You’re drunk.”

With what I hope is a smug grin, I reply, “Yup, and
you
are beautiful.” I emphasize this statement with a tap on the tip of her fucking adorable nose, while catching a whiff of something that smells like coconut.

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t like that you’re beautiful? Well guess what babe? I don’t like it either.”

“No, I don’t like you when you’re drunk.”

“I’ll never do it again.” I lean down to kiss her perfect lips. Emotions that I can’t comprehend are buzzing through me, so I reach out and squeeze her upper arm three short times.

She pulls back, but I stay there with my lips puckered out, hoping she’ll return. “Promise?”

“I cross my heart, baby. I just wanted to forget about seeing you with your boyfriend. Shit… I didn’t mean to say that part out loud.” I try to lean back down to kiss her again, but she swiftly unlocks the door and pushes me inside. When she comes around to the driver’s seat and hops in, I realize she’s about to fucking try and drive this car. “Whoa… whoa… Audrey, only three people have ever driven this before. My dad, me, and Jax.”